by Kimbra Swain
The spat between Jenny and Rowan last night opened my eyes to more than the revelations of truth. Questions flooded my mind of all the things and nuisances that I didn’t understand, but to watch them fight over a battle that had been settled or should have been settled ages ago showed me that I would have a lot of work to do in order to make Shady Grove a functional fairy society. I didn’t have much hope for this realm. I believed it to be too far gone.
“When you are rested, we will journey to the tree,” Astor said. “From there, Finley and I will leave for Winter.”
“Okay. Give me a little while to digest the food, the wine, and the company,” I said. The rest of our crew had been offered a tour around the grounds. Apparently, they were extensive. At the height of the guardians, there were more than one hundred men here guarding the tree against both realms.
“Want to go to the room?” Tabitha asked.
“No, I think I’d like to sit outside,” I said.
Tabitha seemed surprised at my suggestion, but it wasn’t as warm here as it was in the heart of Summer. There were moments when I could feel a rush of Winter wind in this place.
“I know a good spot,” Astor said. “If you would like, I’ll show you.” He offered his hand to help me stand up, and I took it. Not because I couldn’t do it on my own or because he felt as warm as Dylan, but because I was fat. It was easier to stand up with help.
He led us past the doorways to the bedrooms they had provided for us into another long hallway. Each door was marked with a silhouette of a bird. The door at the end of the hallway had a large hawk with its wings spread across the door. Astor hesitated before he entered. In the torch-lit hallway, his dark hair flickered with brilliant garnet strands. I never thought I’d find myself enamored by a man’s hair, but damn it was gorgeous.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, snapping out of my hair envy.
“Perhaps it was inappropriate to invite you here. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression or have you think…” he stammered over his words.
“Knight, is this your bedroom?” I asked.
“It is, Grace,” he said.
“Is there a door to the outside here?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
Tabitha giggled behind us. He huffed at her, and she silenced her enjoyment of his awkwardness. Siblings.
“Then, show the way,” I said, squeezing his arm to reassure him.
He opened the door to a large open room with twenty-foot arches that opened up to a patio beyond. There were no window panes. A hulking wooden bed that resembled a tree stood to the right. The canopy above it was living. As I looked closer, the bed was a tree that had been taught to grow around the mattress and spread its limbs over the occupant of the bed. It looked comfortable and cozy. Like a hammock without the sway.
“Wow!” escaped my lips. The last thing I needed to do was to comment on his bed. “It’s beautiful.” The damage was done now. I might as well compliment him on it.
Turning to take in the whole room, I stopped when I saw the portrait. Memories flooded over me as I remembered posing for it. I looked so young. So innocent. It was before my first taking. Astor had been staring at the virgin Gloriana for all these years. My dress, the scenery, and my hair were all white as snow. The only adornments I wore was a long strand of ice pearls. The only color in the portrait was my bright turquoise eyes and glossy pink lips.
“So young,” Tabitha said. “He’s told me about it, but I’ve never seen it.”
“So innocent,” I said. “I remember when it was painted. I figured it was for my father. Apparently not.”
Astor stood silently behind us. When I looked over my shoulder at him, he stared at the floor. It no longer seemed creepy. It was sad. Old arguments. Old misunderstandings. It has affected all of us whether we knew it or not. I walked toward him, lifting his chin with my hand.
“I’ll take it down,” he said.
“Don’t. We need a reminder,” I said.
“Of what?”
“Of the things our parents have done that perpetuate this conflict. We were meant to join the kingdoms. Preside over peace. I might not do it the way they intended, but I’m beginning to think that was exactly what my father wanted,” I said.
“I think you are right, and I’ll do whatever I can to support it. I’m weary of the old ways,” he said. “I still think I should take it down.” A blush rose on his cheeks.
“I don’t require it. You do as you wish,” I said.
“Now that I’ve seen you with my own eyes, the portrait pales in comparison to the woman that you have become,” he said.
“Damn you and your golden tongue,” I said. “Thank you.”
“You are very welcome, my Queen,” he said bowing his head to me again.
Changing the subject, I talked about the beautiful room and its furnishings. I turned my back on the innocent, virgin girl on the wall.
“Thank you, but I did not make it. It was here from the last First Knight. Come this way,” he said, as his hand slipped into mine pulling me away from the portrait. We passed the bed. I wanted to lay in it, but I sensed he was still completely uncomfortable. We walked together out onto the patio that overlooked an orchard of apple trees. The apples hung from the trees in hues of green, yellow and red. Along the edges of the orchard, blueberry and blackberry bushes grew. Just beyond the orchard, over a rolling hill, a vineyard bursting with green hues lined the hillside. It was amazing.
“The view is fantastic,” I said.
“There are chairs here or benches just down the way,” he said.
“I think I’ll sit here in the shade,” I said.
“Very well,” he said. I eased back into the wooden chair filled with cushions. Tabitha took the one next to me.
“Brother, you told me this was a spectacular sight, but you couldn’t have described this! I’m in awe,” she said.
“It is a beautiful place. A good place to think,” he said. “I must go prepare for our departure. I’ll be leaving one of the other knights in charge, and I must make arrangements for him. Please excuse me.”
“Astor,” I said, as he turned away from us. He looked back at me over his shoulder. “Thank you. For everything.”
He smiled, bowed slightly, then hurried back through his room to the hallway. Turning back to the pastoral view, I sighed, rubbing my belly.
“It was good to see you eat,” Tab said.
“I was beginning to wonder if I would ever have an appetite again,” I said.
“Is the baby moving a lot?” she asked.
“Yes, Doc, he is. We are fine. No need to worry,” I said.
“I would like to remind you that we should be going home. No more detours,” she said. “I know you want that jar, but Grace, my mother is evil through and through. At one point, she might have been a good person, but she just isn’t anymore. There isn’t one good bone left in her body.”
“She scares me. More than Stephanie,” I said.
“She should, because she is smarter than Stephanie by a long shot,” Tab said. She closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair.
“Is this your first go around?” I asked, knowing now that many in our acquaintance had been reincarnated at some point in this fairy world. I didn’t fully understand that process, but my brain was about to explode with the revelations of the night before.
“Yes, it is. Just like you. Only I was born in Shady Grove, so I’m not quite as fairy as I probably should be. I was raised by humans who knew what I was,” she said.
“Are they gone?” I asked trying to tiptoe around the question.
“Yes,” she said. “They were good to me, but they knew I would live much longer than they did. I didn’t know Stephanie was my sister. I did know that Riley was. I’m sorry for the things I kept hidden.”
I sighed. I wondered if Dylan knew all these things too. I suspected he knew who my father was, but he had been born long after my father’s reign on earth. I’d give anythi
ng to be able to confront him about it. We could fight then have hot make-up sex. No copper-haired knight could take his place in my heart.
“When will he be here?” I asked.
“Give the boy a name,” Tabitha said.
“I want to name him with Dylan, but he told me what he wanted to name him,” I said.
“What did he want?” she asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.
“Is it that bad?” she laughed.
“No. It will be perfect, but I don’t want to name him yet,” I said. “I lost Dylan. What if something happens to the baby? I can’t bear it.”
“You can’t think like that,” she said.
The door to the bedroom opened, and Finley, Stone, and Bronx came in. After a moment, Astor followed. They were threatening the redshirts.
“Guys! That’s not necessary. They will do their jobs because Lachlan would skin them alive if they didn’t,” I said. They flinched as if I had hit the nail on the head.
“Are you ready to visit the tree?” Astor said.
“Is Finley going with us?” I asked.
“Yes, I am. I’m not letting you go into that thing alone,” Finley said. “I’ve said my goodbyes. I’ll see you out front.”
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
“You better be!” Tab said, giving me a hug. She rubbed my belly whispering a few words. I felt a small surge of power. When I looked with my fairy sight, I saw the protections she laid around my unborn child. No matter what she had hidden from me, Tabitha was the best friend I had.
Astor offered his arm, and I took it. He walked in silence down the long hallway back to the front of the house. “Do you need anything from your room?” he asked as we neared the door.
“No. Um. You tell me. Do I need anything?” I asked suddenly nervous about talking to the tree. In its eyes, I had ignored my responsibilities. Perhaps the tree would curse me as it had so many others.
“Do not be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you or your child. I swear it,” he said. His warm hand touched my elbow, snaking around to the back of my arm. My nerves fired up and down my body. Tingles and flashes of heat. It was a mix of Dylan and Levi’s touch. He saw the look in my eye, then pulled his hand back. “Forgive me.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay,” I muttered.
“I shouldn’t presume to touch you without permission. Since you arrived, I’ve found myself craving to touch you. It’s wrong, and I apologize,” he said.
“Just shut up, okay?” His eyes widened, then he took a step back from me. He had backed into the wall behind him. “No, don’t move away. Look. I miss my fiancé. He is everything to me. I don’t know if he’s alive or dead. The same goes for Levi. Your touch comforts me. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but I know that I am torn about it. I can’t have you thinking it’s more than what it is.”
“Which is?”
“A comfort in a time when I’m lost and need the truth,” I said.
Moving back closer to me, he touched my cheek which I realized was wet from tears I didn’t know I had shed. “I will never hide anything from you or lie to you. I swear it. I’m not under any preconceived notion that you are or will ever be mine. But I won’t lie, Grace. If you ever gave me the chance, I would take it in a heartbeat.”
Of all my friends and family, no one had made or kept that oath to me. Looking into Astor’s golden eyes, I knew he meant it. Not only that, he didn’t care that I didn’t want him for anything other than the comfort and the truth. He was willing to give it all to me with nothing in return. I would find a way to repay his kindness and loyalty.
LUTHER WAITED until everyone else had said their goodbyes. Then he approached me leaning into my ear, “If you call for me, I will come. I am your servant just like the others. It’s different for me because of what I am, but I can hear you. Kind of like Dylan, however, if you call, nothing will stop me from getting to you if you need me.”
“Everything will be fine,” I tried to reassure him, as well as myself. “Take care of everyone else.”
“Do this quickly,” he said. “I have the feeling Rhiannon is chomping at the bit to get to us.”
“I’m sure,” I said. “Do me a favor and guard the book. She mustn’t get it back.” He nodded.
“Ready?” Astor asked as he mounted a tall chestnut-colored stallion.
“There is no way I’m riding a horse like this!” I said pointing to my blooming belly. He laughed but waved me over to him. As I approached the tall horse, Astor held it steady. I was sure the animal could sense my power, but it heeded the commands of its rider.
“Give me your hand,” Astor said.
“No,” I said laughing. “There is no way.”
“Grace, trust me,” he said. Finley walked up next to us on a white horse that matched his long locks. He was in full Winter armor. The triquetra on his back was surrounded by the skull of a stag. My father’s emblem. He nodded to the knight to entice me to ride with him.
“I’ll walk. Better yet, I’ll shift,” I said actually contemplating transforming into the unicorn. It wouldn’t be so far-fetched since we were in the Otherworld.
“Nope,” Tabitha said. “No shifting with that child in you.”
“But,” I protested. I knew other fairies who had shifted while pregnant. Before my hissy fit blasted out of my mouth, I bit my tongue. “Alright. How does this work, Knight?”
“I’ll boost her up,” Luther offered.
“No, she can do it,” Astor said, looking down at me. “Can’t you?”
“Ugh. You want me to skip,” I said.
“Yes, not climb. How did you think you were going to get up here? I’m only so strong,” he teased. My mouth dropped at his jest.
“You are awful. I should jerk a knot in your tail,” I said.
“Sounds like fun. Now, come on, my Queen,” he said patting the horse’s back right in front of him. The horse had reins, but no saddle.
I closed my eyes and skipped to sit in front of him. The strong scent of cedar surrounded me, and I realized it was the woody scent of the knight. With one arm around my waist and the other on the reins, he shifted slightly behind me.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
“Just thinking this is probably the only ride I’ll get with you,” he smirked.
“Sir Knight, I believe my vulgarity is contagious,” I said.
“Maybe so or maybe I keep those kinds of things for private moments when no one can hear me,” he laughed, then urged the horse forward. I looked back at the crew we were leaving behind. It felt like we were leaving for a long time by the looks on their faces. No one looked as worried as Luther though.
Riding over the hills, we raced toward the tree. I never felt in danger of falling off, because Astor steadied me the whole way. Finley leaned into his horse as if he wanted to race us. How juvenile! But then I should have known, the testosterone kicked in for the knight as he tightened his grip on me.
“Bless it,” I cursed.
“I’ve got you,” Astor said in my ear sending chills down my spine. With a hefty kick to the horse, we catapulted across the meadow leading up to the tree. I could hear Finley laughing as we raced over the hills. I closed my eyes because the horse ran at a supernatural speed.
“Astor,” I wondered if he could hear me.
“Grace.”
“If you don’t slow down, I’m going to be sick,” I said.
Immediately he nudged the horse down, and we watched Finley race ahead.
“I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment. I can’t remember the last time I had fun,” he said, as he stopped the horse under the outermost branches of the tree. Turning to face him, his amber eyes glowed with exertion and excitement. I got lost in them for a moment but pulled myself out before I did something stupid.
“It’s okay. If I weren’t pregnant, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” I said. “I don’t know why I’m talking in your head. We’ve stop
ped now.”
“Do you talk to all of your servants this way?” he asked.
“I do,” I said.
“Hearing your voice in my head. I don’t even know how to explain it, but it was wonderful,” he smiled.
“You are a romantic at heart. Very dangerous,” I said.
“Why?”
“You will get your heart broken,” I replied.
“It’s already broken because I know you aren’t mine,” he said.
“Damn it. Stop saying things like that. Even if Dylan is dead, I’m not ready to move on. I probably won’t be for a century or two,” I said.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not used to being around a marvelous woman like you. I can’t help how I feel,” he said, as he tapped the horse lightly in the side.
“You don’t know me,” I said.
“I’ve watched you from afar, and to be honest for a while, I didn’t get the whole trailer park persona. I do understand it now. The desire to be normal and fit in. Not to draw attention, but I dare say you’ve probably drawn attention wherever you went. Dylan Riggs is a damn lucky man,” Astor said. He seemed hurt by my words, however, he handled it all with decorum.
We sauntered up to Finley who was beaming but stopped when he saw my face.
“Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No,” I said, and promptly skipped off the horse to the ground. “Just a little jostled.”
“It was fun,” Finley said.
Astor dismounted the horse. He didn’t respond to Finley’s enthusiasm. I had upset him. It was my own fault for letting it happen. Part of me craved the support of a partner with the knowledge and strength that you would want in a fight like this. Just like Dylan. But I didn’t need another Dylan. I hadn’t given up on the one I had. My Dylan was alive out there somewhere. Plus, Astor had looked at that damn painting his whole second life, and I’d just shot him down. I knew that I was a Queen, but I felt like he was out of my league for his dedication to the tree. A virgin and a whore.
“No,” he said abruptly turning to me. Only my bond with Levi had been strong enough for someone to hear my thoughts. Astor heard me.
