He blew out a breath, then paced the area and turned back, one hand on his hip as he came to stand in her space, those beautiful blue-green eyes swirling a storm she’d never witnessed before. The mesmerizing kind a sailor would never be able to turn from even knowing his seconds were numbered.
“I could see why you’d be worried. And I get it. She’s your niece. Your responsibility. But we are married. We made a commitment to stick out all the times life throws us a curveball. That can’t happen if I’m never included in the decisions.”
He was the first, and only, person she wanted in every aspect of her life. “Robbie.”
“There’s a lot going on. I appreciate that. I’ve been hounding you about Davis. Your mom is mixed up in some crazy business you can’t seem to unravel. Adding Paige’s pre-term labor amps up the stress tenfold. And I know you’re freaked out about losing the Penningtons.”
“You aren’t?”
“No.” His voice was steady. Strong. “They weren’t good enough. They were too perfect. Too cute. And they acted as if they wanted Paige to be a part of those kids’ lives when they really didn’t.
“Look at how quickly they pulled out. Or how many tests they demanded we have completed. They were looking to make a perfect family and it doesn’t exist. Not in their definition. They would have crushed Paige eventually.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way.”
His face softened. “You can’t tell me they didn’t strike you as an odd couple? And not the kind that works when two really weird people get together. Odd as in everything they do is a show. Is an attempt to prove that what they have is best.”
Had she ignored it in the name of moving forward? After all her mom’s nurturing, had she taken the route of nature as Paige feared she would also do? Become disconnected and disinterested in the people around in favor of a cause she deemed more worthy?
As if he could hear her thoughts, he placed his palms on either side of her face. “Listen, I’m in this for the long haul. That means you, Paige and her babies.” He pressed his mouth to hers, a sweet meeting of lips that let her know she was insane to doubt him for a second. Even when they didn’t agree. And then he pulled back, his eyes glued to hers. “Even if we take them in as our own.”
Whoa. The sound around them disappeared as if it were only the two of them in the universe.
“What?” She’d heard wrong. Kids had never been in the cards. The choice had been stripped from her long before any maternal urges had taken over.
Robinson had never been in the dark on that. He’d once joked that he was too much of a jerk and she was too sassy. They both took a lot of risks. That had been the end of it. “We don’t have diapers.”
“There’s this nifty invention called a store.”
“Furniture. Clothes. Names. We aren’t in our own house.” And Paige. How would that affect her?
“Slow down. That list has simple fixes.” He released her. “You’ve always been up for a challenge, so we figure out if this is one of them.”
The beat of her heart vibrated through her body. It would be an amazing adventure. And scary. She glanced back toward Paige’s room. If she couldn’t get it together with a nearly self-sustaining teenager, how would she do with two infants? “How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Just long enough that it still sounds crazy. And you know how I like that sort of thing.” The ding of the elevator sounded in the quiet. He stepped inside. “Think about it.” He put his palm across the doors, preventing them from closing. “Even if the answer ends up being no, you owe yourself the consideration. Keeping people safe so they can enjoy their lives is what you’re good at. Make sure you enjoy yours, too, or none of it means anything.”
She couldn’t argue. In the last month, every day had been filled with anxiety and second guessing that left her in uncharted territory. And Robinson floundering to make it right.
“You’re not scared, remember? Said so yourself last night.”
That seemed like years ago.
“I’m going to get some coffee.” He stepped farther into the elevator. And then the door shut, leaving her in the hall alone.
Did he really want to adopt Paige and her twins? Could they even do that? Their life had been chaotic before taking in the teen.
Adding two infants to the mix of hectic schedules and potentially dangerous work seemed risky. Rash. And yet, it would ensure they were together. That they had a family who loved them, because no matter what she and Robinson decided, those babies would enter the world.
###
EVERY SYLLABLE OF Robinson’s words hummed in Amanda’s brain as she turned from the elevator and caught sight of a tall woman in gray slacks, a peach blouse and stylish heels. A white lab coat covered the ensemble. She neared Paige’s hospital room with confident steps. Her blonde hair was clipped at the base of her neck in a sophisticated ponytail.
Amanda would know the regal stature of her biological incubator anywhere.
Her heart picked up speed as Paige’s maternal grandmother—a woman who’d easily dismissed her birth thirteen years ago and Amanda’s years before that—opened the door and stepped inside.
As if she belonged there.
What the…?
She raced toward the room. Spotted Lilly at the main desk speaking with another nurse, leaving Paige alone. With a woman who could care less about her.
A dark emotion burned through her chest and gathered with a heap of jitterbugs in her stomach.
You’re not scared, remember?
Amanda burst through the door, but didn’t let it hit the wall like she would have liked. She couldn’t afford to wake Paige and have to start another explanation that might bring those babies into this world sooner than needed.
Sandra stood at the edge of the bed with a chart in her hands.
“What are you doing here?”
“What does it look like?” She flipped through the documents. “Checking up on a patient.”
That was the worst joke ever. She snatched the binder from the other woman’s hands, noted Paige’s name across the top. “Get out. You’re not her doctor. You don’t have any right to be here.”
Sandra’s gaze flicked to the teen still sleeping in the bed, as if contemplating waking the child and giving her a dose of the harshest reality possible. Amanda moved between the girl and a woman neither of them needed contact with.
“She’s too young to have this kind of responsibility.” Annoyance dripped from Sandra’s words.
Even though they could agree on that point, it still set a boil to Amanda’s blood. Made her think of all kinds of really horrible things to say to the woman that shared her DNA, but had no interest in her beyond giving unsolicited advice. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
She raised one well-manicured eyebrow. “I’m sure you realize this will ruin her future.”
Even if that means we take them in ourselves.
One breath in. One out. “Children don’t ruin futures.” Sure, it took work, but it was worth it. One month with Paige had taught her something she’d witnessed in her friends with children. She’d give anything to make sure this girl was safe. Protect her at all costs and with her last breath, because that’s what happened when you fell in love with someone on sight. When you surrendered to a connection you couldn’t control, because it was like breathing. “People with no willpower ruin it for themselves.”
“I know a talented doctor who could help.” She dug in the pocket of her lab coat and produced a card. Shoved it in Amanda’s hand. “It’s relatively painless.”
Women’s Health North ran across the top of the card. An artful drawing depicted a pregnant woman. Doctors Borian and Dillion boasted thirty years of collective experience. On the back, the office listed some of its services. Everything ranging from family planning to abortion.
The churn in her stomach hit an all-time high.
“What is wrong with you? Life is supposed to be sacred.
Not something you suck out and dump down the disposal.”
While she worried the pair would be separated, this woman didn’t think of them at all, beyond the quickest elimination.
“I’m hardly insinuating that.” Sandra’s cool blue eyes scanned the room as if she were talking to a patient and not her own flesh and blood.
“Aren’t you?”
“I’m coming from a place of experience, dear Amanda.”
A choice the other woman would redo, if her steely gaze was any indication. Amanda clenched her fists at her sides. Let the twisted endearment slide over her and burrow deep. “None that I want to repeat.”
That cold and cool gaze flicked to Amanda’s injured elbow, came back up. “I wouldn’t expect you would. Not with the way you find trouble all on your own.”
The anger she’d been battling hit a boiling point. “Get. Out.”
She didn’t move.
“I wouldn’t cross her today, Sandra.” Robinson walked through the door, a grim look that indicated he might have heard everything. “Or me, for that matter. I’m really itching to put someone in handcuffs. And messing with my family pretty much fits the bill.” He reached Amanda’s side and stole the card from her grasp. Then tore it into four pieces.
The older woman crossed her arms and stood tall, as if imposing her five ten stature might intimidate Robinson. Then she started for the door, a smirk on her face. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
“The best adventure of our lives? Sounds rough. You should try it. Oh, wait. You did.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And you messed it up.”
She pressed her lips together, shot them both a quick glance as if she understood something they didn’t. “That’s a matter of opinion.” She headed for the door, but turned back. “How’s Eileen? Any improvement with the AD?”
What? Everything inside Amanda stilled.
Sandra made a low sound in her throat and exited the room.
Oh, no. That wasn’t the way things worked. Amanda rushed after her. The ugly monster inside worked itself up to massive proportions.
Breathe. The last thing you need is to claw her eyes out.
Oh, but it would be the highlight of her day. “You better start explaining yourself, Sandra.”
The older woman turned to face her.
“You can’t walk into my niece’s room—”
“My granddaughter.”
Nope. Ah-uh. She sucked in a breath and held back a heavy dose of ugly words. “You can’t read her chart and act like you know what’s best for her and then mention my mom’s disease as if you have a stake in either situation.”
She folded her arms across her chest and stood tall, then tapped one hand on the opposite bicep. “Eileen is part of one of my clinical trials. It’s a randomized eighty week plan with the drug administered once a month. Over two thousand people have participated.”
Oh. God. Everything in Amanda’s body sunk to a puddle at her feet. Dread squished its way on top. Why would she do that? What if something happened? “When did she start it?”
“Fourteen months ago.”
Right before her steady decline. “So you’ll read out biomarker effects soon.” The hours of research she’d done upon discovering her mother had the thieving sickness came back in full force. It had never really left her brain. Most trials never made it to phase three. Never got FDA approval. Nobody had come close to going beyond delaying the disease’s cognitive destruction. “Did she have the placebo or the actual drug?”
Sandra picked up a stack of papers sitting on the counter. “It’s a double-blind study.” The words were factual, yet something lingered in her gaze.
Amanda ground her teeth together. “Placebo. Or. Drug?”
“I could lose my backing.”
“Not my problem. Answer the question.”
The older woman glared at her a moment. “Eileen was given the drug.”
No. “When is the last time she had a dose?”
“Earlier this week. Walter was with her.”
Her dad had said nothing about it.
Some of the trials had produced ARIAs—an accumulation of fluid on the brain that could cause headaches or confusion. Or be asymptomatic. Saliva gathered in her mouth. Why would her mom trust this woman?
She’s desperate.
And she’d been that way for almost two years. Grasping at anything that would help keep her mind together. All while making sure Amanda knew it was okay to let go when things got bad. As if that were possible. Walking away from family, from Charlotte’s safekeeping would never be possible. It wasn’t in her DNA.
She scanned Sandra’s regal form and the soft smile that stated she knew who had the upper hand. With Sandra, there would never be any winning.
“Stay away from my family.” A pinch caught her between the eyes, had her spinning away from the woman and heading for the man standing in the doorway of Paige’s room. Robinson leaned against the door jamb. Watched her approach in silence and let her pass through the door before shutting it behind them.
“You okay?” His words were whisper soft. Full of warmth that enveloped her on impact and made her want to crawl into his embrace for the chance at one normal moment.
She didn’t understand how either of her parents could trust anything Sandra did. Especially her dad. Didn’t he know the risks associated?
“Of course she isn’t.” A yawn stretched across Paige’s mouth. She sat up in bed and rubbed a hand over the red splotch on her face from where she’d been lying on her folded hands. “Is she always that way? So rude and cold? She’s the exact opposite of Grandma.”
Robinson shot Amanda a glance. Touched her arm as he guided her closer, a fleeting connection that sent a soothing calm through her bloodstream. And let her know this was a storm he’d gladly brave right alongside her.
She didn’t have to battle fear alone.
Amanda sat at the edge of Paige’s bed. “I’m sorry we woke you.”
Robinson took the chair she’d pulled closer to Paige sometime during the night. His knee came into contact with the one not tucked under her body. He leaned back and braced one bent elbow on the arm of it and placed the side of his face into his palm. “How are you feeling, Paige?”
“Like I slept on a hard hospital bed for four hours.” A ghost of a smile turned up one corner of her lips. “And I’ve got goblins dancing on parts of my body that no one should come near.” She rubbed a hand across her abdomen. “I swear these two are at war with each other. They never stop moving. I half expect them to come out with weapons.”
A roll of laughter bubbled out before Amanda could stop it, a little freeing.
Her smile faded. “Did you call the Penningtons to let them know the babies might be born sooner than expected?”
“No.”
If Paige found that odd, she didn’t mention it. “Do you think Sandra’s right? That this will ruin my future?” She glanced up from the edge of the sheet she’d been fiddling with. Anxiety warred with bravery on her face.
Something inside Amanda’s already bruised heart broke for the teen. Hearing Sandra’s words was the last thing she needed.
Why had she even stopped by? What was the draw?
Robinson sat forward, his hands clasped between his knees. “What do you think, Paige?”
She licked her lips. “I imagine raising twins, or any baby at my age, would be a challenge. I’m thirteen. What kind of life can I give them? They’ll be starting kindergarten before I graduate high school.”
He smiled. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is being honest here. Is there something you want? Because now would be the time to say it. Before it’s too late.”
The teen glanced between the two of them. She worried her bottom lip. “Why not let me go to the state? You didn’t owe my birth mother anything. Or me.”
The question hit Amanda like a tidal wave. Giving Paige a home, a family, had never been about a debt. It was so much more. Somet
hing she’d known they’d do in an instant, just like the on-sight love she’d discovered for this girl.
“You grabbed my hand.” A lump formed in her throat. She worked to clear it, the anxiety and the fear from her system.
You’re not afraid.
Even though she’d felt exactly that as they’d loaded her husband in the back of an ambulance. In the middle of nowhere. And known the only thing keeping oxygen going to his lungs and his blood pumping were the paramedics forcing those things to happen. Like she and Paige had done before their arrival on scene. “It wasn’t until they pushed us out of the way and took over that I realized it was real. Not a nightmare. I’d found you, but I was losing him.”
Robinson leaned toward her. Touched her knee.
She looked up at him. Half expected to see the blood running down his face, closed eyes, and lips so pale. A breathless man. Images she’d been unable to hide from and unwilling to discuss because it lended legitimacy. Made the fact that he’d almost died a reality that could happen again versus a distant event when they were old and gray.
“I had a choice to make. Find the man responsible for hurting you and so many others or I could follow Robbie to the hospital.” The decision hadn’t been easy, but one she’d made in seconds while standing next to a girl who’d been far braver than her age.
“Nobody would have blamed you.” His voice was quiet, his beautiful eyes open and alive. Focused on her.
Amanda cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Paige’s lips were pressed together, her eyes a watery amber. She blinked in rapid succession.
Amanda grabbed her hand. “You had to have been scared. Hungry. Tired. But you stuck around. Even after you’d been promised death if you stopped running. And you put your hand in mine. Comforted a stranger.” At times she could still feel the steady hold. “Why?”
A sniffle filled the silence as Paige launched herself into Amanda’s arms. The force shifted her backward before she caught herself. The girl’s arms tightened around her shoulders in a hug only a parent could experience with a child.
OBSESSION (The Bening Files (Novella) Book 4) Page 9
