by Abbi Glines
“She hates you for leaving?” he asked.
She hated me for destroying everything. She hated me for not being there when she needed me. “I remind her of all she lost with Jace. She needs to hate someone, so she hates me. And I’ll accept that. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be.”
Woods stood there beside me and didn’t ask anything else. But he didn’t blame me. He didn’t get angry at me. He just stood there with me.
Bethy
Harlow and Grant’s wedding had been easy to celebrate because of the simple fact that Harlow was alive, standing at the altar with their miracle baby. I had gone to the wedding and cried happy tears because Grant had his wife and child. He hadn’t lost them after all.
Now, three months later, not only did I have to attend another wedding, but I had to be in it. I couldn’t just show up for a couple of hours and pretend to smile. We would be spending four days on a private island that Woods had rented out for the wedding. He had wanted something intimate where he didn’t feel like he had to invite every member of the country club. So he had found this island near the Florida Keys that could be rented for weddings and other special events. Only close family and friends had been invited, all expenses paid.
Then there was the fact that Tripp was also in the wedding party. I had to be around him in a social setting in front of my friends for four long days. Although I was happy for Della and Woods, being around Tripp wasn’t going to be easy.
Della had told me that Thad would be my escort at the wedding. After my drunken fit at the club a while ago, when I’d screamed at Tripp, everyone knew something was wrong between us, but they couldn’t figure out what. They just assumed I was losing my mind. Della wasn’t going to take the chance of assigning Tripp as my escort, even though that would have made the most sense before my meltdown, Tripp being Jace’s cousin and all.
I stood at the private airport outside of Rosemary Beach. Dean Finlay had offered Slacker Demon’s private jet to take the wedding party to the island. Woods and Della had sent plane tickets to the rest of the guests. Except, of course, for the members of Slacker Demon who were also invited. The plane would be taking them to the island later in the week.
Della was standing at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the plane, talking happily to Blaire. These were my friends. I loved them. Being with them should not be hard. Taking a deep breath, I reached for the handle of my rolling suitcase and headed for the plane.
Della’s gaze moved to me, and her smile grew. She was so happy. Della had overcome so much. I remembered the girl who had come to Rosemary Beach—sheltered and haunted by her past. Della didn’t even resemble that girl anymore. She wasn’t a victim. She was a survivor.
“We’re all here now,” Della said, and stepped forward to hug me. “I’m so glad you’re coming. Thank you,” she whispered in my ear as she held me firmly before letting go.
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I told her.
“I’ll take that, miss,” a man said, holding out his hand for my suitcase.
I handed my luggage over to the crew and then looked at Blaire. “Hey, you,” I said, smiling. Blaire was my best friend. Because of her, I’d had Jace. She’d shown me that making myself worthy of love was the way to get the guy I wanted. In many ways, Blaire had helped me find a part of the girl I once was before Tripp. Not entirely, but some of the old me had come back because of Blaire.
Once I had been like Blaire. Strong, confident, independent. But like everything else in life, Tripp took that from me.
“You good?” she asked, studying my face. Only Blaire had the balls to ask me if I was OK. Everyone else had stopped asking, afraid of my reaction. I wanted to tell her that the numbness was gone. But it had been replaced by the feelings I’d been holding back. I had to deal with it all.
But not now. This was Della and Woods’s special weekend. I wouldn’t ruin it with my sadness. “I’m doing good. I was going to come by last week, but I had to work overtime for several days.”
Blaire cocked an eyebrow at me. “Tell that to Nate. He’s been asking for ‘An Betty’ the last few days. He’s used to seeing you at least once a week, you know.”
That little boy was one of the lights of my life. I loved that kid. I had been so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to go near him when he was born. I feared that seeing Blaire and Rush with their baby would be too much for me. I would feel the regret and pain when I looked at him. But it didn’t happen. Nate won my heart with his sweet baby smile. He was a charmer from day one. “He’ll be here this weekend?” I asked, glancing up at the side of the plane, feeling guilty for not visiting him now.
“He’s coming tomorrow night with Dean. His grandfather wanted to keep him at the house and give us one night alone on the island.”
I shook my head. The idea that Dean Finlay, the rock god, was taking care of a baby was just funny. But he loved that kid.
“All right, ladies, move the gossip inside. It’s time we head south,” Woods said as he stood at the top of the stairs. His eyes were locked on Della’s. I had known Woods since I was a kid. Watching him with Della never ceased to amaze me. He hadn’t been the settling-down type. But Della was his world.
“Coming right up,” Della replied.
I didn’t scan the inside of the jet, but I felt his eyes as soon as they found me. Tripp was here. The pressure of his gaze made things difficult. Uncomfortable. I didn’t want to feel anything where he was concerned.
“Bethy,” Harlow’s voice called out in a pleasant greeting, and I turned to see her sitting on one of the leather sofas that lined the inside of the plane. She wasn’t holding Lila Kate. I hadn’t expected her to leave her baby behind, too. Especially since she was still so tiny. She was four months old now but she had been a preemie. She was a little thing, but she was so perfect. Just like her mother.
I walked over to sit down beside Harlow. “Where’s Lila Kate?” I asked. I hadn’t been by to visit her lately, either. Harlow nodded her head to the left of the plane, and I glanced over to see Grant standing by the bar with his little girl in his arms as he rocked her gently and talked softly to her.
“He’s getting her to sleep. I had to beg him to bring her on the plane. He was completely freaked out by the idea of her flying. But then it took him a month to get over putting her in a car. I doubt anyone else will get to hold her while we’re in the sky. Not even me,” she said with an amused laugh.
Watching Grant hold his little girl so carefully and protectively, I remembered the man standing in the hospital, staring at the door that Harlow had been rushed through when she went into labor. He had stood there lost and unmoving for hours. It had been hard for everyone—I’d felt like I was losing Jace all over again—but Grant was a mess. I didn’t pray often, but that week, I had prayed hard. “That’s adorable,” I said.
“God, isn’t it, though? I swear, when he does that kind of stuff, I want to attack him. Complete turn-on.”
I laughed, and it was a real laugh. It felt good. I missed laughing. I didn’t do it often. Nate gave me my weekly laugh. He always made me forget with his little-boy charm.
“What’s so funny over here?” Blaire asked, taking the seat on the other side of me.
“Daddy Grant is a turn-on for Harlow,” I said with a chuckle, glancing over at her.
Blaire smiled as she looked over at Grant, who now had his head tucked close to Lila Kate as he continued to rock back and forth with her. “He’s so stinking cute. I swear. I can’t imagine Rush with a baby girl. But seeing Grant with Lila Kate makes me want one.”
“Another baby so soon?” Harlow asked Blaire.
Blaire smiled and shrugged. “Maybe not yet. Nate still needs to be the baby a while longer. Besides, he’s a handful. The walking thing was hard, but the running thing is even more difficult. I can’t catch him when he gets loose.”
I needed this. I sat as my friends discussed their children and told stories about their daily lives as moms, making me laugh. I loved them
and their families. For almost two years, I had missed so much, closing myself off from emotion. I was tired of that. Maybe the protective numbness leaving was a good thing.
Tripp
Eight years ago
Bethy had become an addiction. Although I knew I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t stay away from her. Seeing her face light up when she saw me was also pretty damn amazing. After she rode on the back of my bike that weekend all the way to New Orleans and back, I came up with reasons to see her every day. Jace kept asking me to hang out with him and the guys, but I couldn’t bring myself not to see Bethy. The idea that she’d end up at another party and I wouldn’t be there to protect her was also keeping me from giving her much space.
She didn’t seem to mind. Hell, she looked at me like I was the only person she wanted to see. That felt pretty damn good. I was aware that she had a crush on me. It was too obvious to miss. It was becoming increasingly hard not to touch her. I really wanted to touch her. But right now, I’d settle for a kiss.
I sat outside her trailer on my bike, waiting for her. She didn’t want me coming to the door, and although I didn’t like it, I honored her wishes and waited on my bike. We were going to Destin tonight for a summer jam concert I’d gotten tickets to. Several bands would be there that she and I both liked.
The door to her beat-to-hell trailer opened up, and she came running out wearing a short little sundress that showcased her hot body. I was a goner. I swear, I was ready to break. Keeping my hands off her in that outfit was going to be impossible. Guys were gonna stare at her tonight, and I’d be damned if I let them think she was available.
She stopped and looked up at me as she got to the bike. “I was going to wear shorts because of the bike, but I have my bikini on under here, and I figured it would be OK to wear this.” She seemed nervous. We’d spent so much time together over the past two weeks I wasn’t sure how she could still be so uncertain around me.
“I like the dress,” I assured her, holding out my hand to help her climb on back. Then I handed her the helmet I kept just for her.
“You have to be home at a certain time?” I asked, already knowing the answer was probably a no. Her father wasn’t home much. Only when she was at her aunt Darla’s did she have a curfew.
“Nope. Dad won’t be home tonight,” she replied, slipping her arms around my waist and pressing her chest against my back. That never got old. Feeling her tits up against me was part of the addiction I’d developed.
“Good. You’re mine for the night,” I replied before starting the bike and pulling out onto the road. I glanced down to see her naked legs locked around mine, and I had to take a deep breath. That was nice. Too damn nice.
I would speed up at times just to hear her squeal and squeeze me tighter. Thinking about giving her up at the end of the summer was bothering me. Who would be here to take care of her? She was so sweet and innocent. I couldn’t stand the idea of someone hurting her or taking advantage of her. And if I was honest with myself, I hated the idea of anyone else touching her. I had no claim on her, but it felt like she was mine.
When she looked up at me with those adoring eyes, all was right with the world. She belonged to me then. I knew it by the way the stars in her eyes only appeared for me. I had watched her with other guys while she worked, and no one got the same adoring gaze I got. That was just for me.
Once we got to the beach where the concert was being held, I found us a spot and laid out the blanket I had brought. I figured we would be standing most of the night to see over the heads of everyone when the bands started playing, but right now, we had more than an hour before the show got started. People were sprawled all over the place on their own blankets and chairs, drinking and partying.
Bethy sank down beside me but left some space between us. I didn’t like it, but she always gave me space. As if she were afraid I’d push her away if she got any closer. She was being smart. I just couldn’t be smart any longer.
I reached over and hooked my hand around her waist and pulled her up against me until her leg was touching mine and her side was pressed up against me. She made a surprised sound but didn’t try to move away. But then I knew she wouldn’t.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I told her.
Just like always, she blushed at my compliment. “Thank you,” she replied softly.
I kept my hand on her waist and began tracing little circles with my finger against her side. She stiffened at first, but then she shivered. That was my breaking point. “Come here,” I said, then moved her to straddle me. Her eyes went wide as she sat on my lap facing me. I cupped her face before I could change my mind and covered her mouth with mine.
She inhaled sharply, and for a moment, she didn’t react. Then her hands were in my hair as I slipped my tongue along her bottom lip. She opened for me slowly, and I dove in, ready to taste her. The feel of her honey-sweet warmth made me shiver this time. It was better than I’d expected. I slid my hands under her dress to feel her bare skin as she made a soft moaning noise and leaned closer into me.
Fuck, this was good. No, this was perfect. This was one of those kisses that changed everything. I wanted to feel more of her, but we were on a public beach, and I didn’t like the idea of other guys watching what was mine.
When she arched her back, pressing her breasts against my chest for friction, I broke the kiss before I lost control and put my hands on her tits, which I’d been using as inspiration daily.
Bethy’s face was flushed, and she was breathing hard as I pulled away from her. She looked dazed, and I wanted to roar with pleasure that I’d put that look there. I held her close to me as I caught my own breath. Her eyes flickered from mine to my lips and back.
She let out a long breath and sank down onto my lap. My erection greeted her, and she stilled. The fact that she was straddling my dick was not helping me calm down. “Don’t move, baby,” I told her through gritted teeth. I reminded myself that other guys could see this. I didn’t like them seeing her like this. It was the only reason I managed to pick her up and move her off of me. The urge to press against her center was intense. But not here. I couldn’t do that here.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. I glanced down at her face. She looked worried and embarrassed. Shit.
I kept her close to my side. Bending my head so that my mouth was at her ear, I pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry for that.”
She studied me a moment before replying. “OK.”
Bethy
Something changed that night. After that kiss, Tripp’s hands were all over me, and he wouldn’t let me move away from him. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I wanted him to kiss me again. I had been kissed before but not like that. Never like that.
The sun had set, and in the darkness, Tripp pulled me closer. His hands were under my dress now and resting on my stomach. His touch on my bare skin felt like an electric current coursing through me. I had no idea who was singing or what they were saying. My eyes were closed as I leaned against Tripp, and I felt his hardness against my back. When I had sunk down on it, I’d had to bite back a cry of pleasure. The sensation between my legs was new, but he’d moved me fast.
His hands slowly moved up until they rested just under my breasts. I breathed hard. I couldn’t help it. With each breath, his thumb brushed the underside of my bikini top. Unable even to pretend I was listening to the band, I laid my head back against his chest and inhaled shakily.
“What’s wrong?” he asked close to my ear. “Is this OK?”
I wanted to scream God, yes! But I didn’t. I simply nodded. Tonight things had taken a drastic turn. I had been convincing myself that Tripp saw me as a friend and nothing more. Then he’d kissed me. Telling myself that he just wanted to be my friend was impossible now. My infatuation was full-blown. I couldn’t hide it anymore.
“Can we go now?” he asked, moving his hands from their resting spot. I wanted to groan in protest. He was so close. The
tingling in my body had been doing things between my legs again. It was driving me slightly crazy.
I managed another nod. Tripp picked up the blanket and threw it over his arm, then grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. His height made it easy for him to navigate through the bodies, since he was taller than most of them. I wasn’t ready to go home, but the idea of getting to press my very needy body against his for the next hour sounded wonderful. Maybe I could find some relief then.
It wasn’t until we were out of the crowd that I realized we weren’t going to the parking lot where we had left his bike. We were going farther away from the beach to the stretch ahead where there were no condos or houses.
It was dark, and I watched for crabs as we walked farther away from the noise. My heartbeat picked up and the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering again as we headed into the darkness of the deserted beach. We walked under a bridge, and Tripp stopped and threw the blanket down before looking at me.
“Come here, Bethy,” he said. His eyes were hard to see in the darkness, but I didn’t question him. I was pretty sure that if he asked me to jump off that bridge into the dark water, I would.
He reached for the hem of my dress and pulled it off, then dropped it onto the blanket. “I can’t promise you anything, Bethy. And I shouldn’t touch you. But I want to so damn bad. Tell me to stop, and I will, sweetheart.”
Tell him to stop? Not in this lifetime. I didn’t say anything.
“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked in a whisper as he reached out and pulled me closer to him.
I managed a nod this time.
He dropped his head, buried his face in the curve of my neck, and muttered a curse. The warmth of his breath caused me to shiver, and I stepped closer to him. “You’re so beautiful. It hurts to look at you and not touch you,” he said against my neck, then placed a kiss there. “I’ve tried to fight this. I just want to keep you safe. Even from me,” he said again as his mouth moved to kiss my jawline.
