by Judith Gould
Even in their happiness they kept to a schedule—of sorts. Mornings and nights—and sometimes afternoons—they explored one another's bodies and made passionate love with an ecstatic, almost primitive abandon. In between, they found time to weave glorious dreams and make heady plans for the future. In those tranquil fourteen days, nothing seemed impossible, no difficulties insurmountable. It was as though they both understood that as long as they were together, they could move mountains if they so chose.
'I’ll fight as long as I have to to help Palestine become the state of Israel, just like Theodore Herzl dreamed,' Dani declared passionately. 'I’ll be satisfied with nothing less.'
Tamara was as fervent as he about a homeland for the Jews, but couldn't help thinking: I only want whatever you want, my love. The only things that are important to me are the things that are important to you.
The days flew past in a blur, and when the time came to leave the tranquil shore, they left without regret, for they knew that their lives were just beginning. Both of them looked eagerly forward to making the glorious dreams and heady plans they spoke of into concrete reality. They not only returned to Ein Shmona loving each other more deeply than before, if that were possible, but they understood each other perfectly and had gained a healthy respect for one another as well. They had left for their honeymoon a married couple, but returned as friends and lovers too.
A surprise awaited them—a newly built house miraculously erected while they were gone. It had four spacious rooms, and was the first private residence with indoor plumbing. 'Everyone pitched in overtime to get it put up in time,' Schmarya told them proudly.
Tamara loved it more than any of the mansions she had lived in in Hollywood.
However, the real miracle that had been wrought at Eilat was soon to become evident. Sometime during those magical weeks, she had become pregnant. When Dr. Saperstein confirmed it, she wept for joy. It was as though Dani's very touch had made her body bloom and bear fruit.
The joy she felt was indescribable.
Nine months later, Dani was at her bedside while she gave birth in the infirmary. It was the happiest day of their lives. They had been doubly blessed.
He rocked the blanket cradling the infant twins in his arms. 'Two beautiful sons,' he whispered proudly, shaking his head in disbelief. 'And they are not even crying.'
'That is because they take after their father,' she said loyally from the cot where her head was propped up by four thick pillows.
He examined their faces closely. 'They look more like their mother.'
She couldn't help smiling. 'All babies look alike. Give them time to grow into their faces.'
'What are we going to call them?'
'I thought we'd already decided on Ari if it's a boy and Daliah if it's a girl.'
'But they're two boys. We hadn't planned for that.'
'No, we hadn't.' She thought for a moment, and then smiled brilliantly. 'How about Asa? Ari and Asa?'
'Ari and Asa it is.'
We have each other and our children, and ours will be a family rich in love and peace and purpose. We will move mountains, just as we've planned, and we'll do it as a family. Nothing can part us, and nothing can stop us.
But the combined forces of history and fate had other plans in store for them.
There was turmoil at home.
As they had feared, over half the territory of Palestine was closed off to Jews, and the heavy restrictions imposed upon the acquiring of land by the Jewish Agency was put into effect. Jews were condemned to a minority status, and the White Paper effectively curtailed immigration. Although it was denounced in Britain's Parliament by Winston Churchill, other Conservatives, and every leader of the Labour party, it stayed in effect.
And abroad, the world was even more in turmoil.
In March 1938, Adolf Hitler had annexed Austria, and then, six months later, Great Britain and France stepped aside and allowed Germany to dismember Czechoslovakia as well. The ravenous Third Reich had gobbled up two entire countries while the rest of the world stood by and watched.
Isolated though they were, the inhabitants of Ein Shmona followed the Nazi exploits more closely, and with greater dread, than most people in the major capitals of the world. The people of Ein Shmona, better than most, knew that the terror which had been unleashed upon the world could easily destroy them all. Word trickling down from Europe was unthinkably horrifying, and their fears were very real, considering the harsh experiences of the past. They were the latter-day children of Moses and, like their forebears, had come to Palestine to escape pogroms and persecution. Now, it seemed, the very dangers from which they fled might well catch up with them, overwhelm them, obliterate them.
To them, Hitler was no Chaplinesque buffoon. He was another pharaoh, another Herod—the dark Angel of Death.
'Why doesn't someone stop that madman?' Tamara cried passionately one evening while they were all gathered around the radio in the community hall, listening to the latest depressing news of Hitler's victories. 'Before we know it, the entire world will be German!'
'Except for our people,' Schmarya corrected her grimly, looking at each of them so resolutely that his own fears merged with theirs, creating a great collective terror. 'We'll all be dead. There won't be a single Jew left on the face of this earth if Hitler gets his way.'
In 1939 Germany and Russia signed a nonaggression pact which freed Hitler to attack Poland without fear of Russian reprisals. France and Great Britain, having guaranteed Poland's independence, declared war on Germany. During the blitzkrieg of April through to June 1940, Germany conquered Denmark, Norway, the Low Countries, and France— in one fell swoop, with hardly any resistance.
Then the Battle of Britain began.
Hitler amassed his troops on the French coast, preparing to cross the English Channel, but those few miles of open water were to be his albatross. He was stopped in his tracks. No matter how many bomber squadrons bombarded London, the British hung on with ferocious tenacity and fought back doggedly. But the endless bombs were taking their toll on Great Britain even though air superiority over the British eluded the Nazis. Day after day and night after night, the relentless Nazi squadrons filled the skies and the bombs whistled down upon British soil. Many feared that it was only a matter of time before the British would have to surrender.
It was on July 5,1940, that Dani broke the news to her.
Over the past several days, Tamara had sensed that he was inwardly struggling with himself over something momentous, but she had come to know him well enough not to press him. She knew that he would tell her when he was ready.
That night after dinner, he proposed that they take a stroll, and from the tone of his voice she knew that he intended to tell her what had been on his mind. They walked in silence, but even before he said anything, she felt a rising dread beginning to choke her. When they reached their favourite spot, a ridge that afforded a view of the entire community, he sat on a smooth boulder and patted it. She sat next to him and took his hand in hers.
The distant cries of the children at play in the supervised playground drifted up to them. Soon, she thought, the twins would be old enough to join them. The white plumes of the irrigation jets made water fountains of spray in the lush, geometrically laid-out fields which would soon yield the third of the four annual vegetable harvests. How tranquil everything looked! she couldn't help thinking. How deceptively peaceful the world seemed! Sitting here now she could scarcely believe that, a mere few days' journey away, Europe had exploded into a massive battlefield of blood and death and gore.
'I've decided to join the British forces,' Dani announced quietly, without preamble.
She jerked as if punched by an invisible fist. She turned to him. 'The British army?' she asked incredulously.
'Well, the Air Force, actually.'
She turned away and stared out into space for several minutes, seeing and hearing nothing other than his shadowy announcement, as if a damaged tape recorder played it
over and over in her mind until it became such high-pitched, garbled gibberish that she thought she would go crazy and scream.
'Tamara,' he pleaded softly, 'please do not be upset with me. Let me explain.'
He reached up and with a finger traced a gentle line from her forehead down to her lips. Usually it made her smile and look at him with a special loving expression. 'Tamara . . . She sat there numbly, neither moving nor looking at him. He was leaving her to don a uniform, march off to war on some distant battlefield where artillery shells burst, bombs whistled down, and bullets whizzed. He would eat cold rations and bleed and . . . and . . .
She turned slowly to him then, and stared into his face. A sorrowful shadow had slid down over his eyes and they seemed to have lost their tawny lustre. 'Tamara.'
'Yes.' Her voice was dull.
'Tamara, you must try to understand.'
Her eyes flared and she slapped her thigh. 'Dani! The British are our enemies! They've proved that time and again! Ever since that idiotic White Paper, they've been keeping a lot of Jews from coming here.' She gestured wildly. 'Even Jews from Germany, whose only hope of survival is to come here! And since they're not allowed to emigrate, you know where they're ending up.' Her voice was thick with emotion. 'You told me so yourself.'
'I know that,' he said gently, 'but I have no choice. I'm not the first Palestinian Jew to join the British forces and I won't be the last. Don't you see? For now our differences with the British must be set aside. A far greater evil is loose in the world.'
She gave a wild, discordant laugh. 'Hitler. Everything lately always boils down to Adolf Hitler.'
'Yes, Hitler.' He sighed heavily and looked very tired.
For a long time she could not trust herself to speak. 'When are you leaving?' she asked at last.
'The first of next week.'
'Four days from now.' She pressed his hand. 'So soon.'
'Yes.'
She watched the blood-red sun sliding silently behind the dark distant cliffs. For a heart-stopping moment everything looked blood-red—the ground, the sky, even Dani.
Her fears pressed in claustrophobically. She moved her arm protectively around him and clung to his side. Terrifying visions of war flickered through her mind like a speeding film, frame after frame filled with mounting horrors. Only now did she realize how much she had taken her newfound happiness for granted, when it was a blessing she should have given thanks for every day.
He was looking at her so gently that she felt he had been reading her mind. 'We all have to do our part, Tamara,' he said softly. 'Don't you see? The only thing keeping Hitler from swallowing up more of the world is England. So far, his troops haven't got across the channel. If they do, the Nazis are liable to arrive on our doorstep next. And then what?' He shook his head sorrowfully, the weight of the world slumping his shoulders. 'We're Jews, Tamara. We wouldn't last a week.'
She stared at him as though in a trance.
We 're Jews. Jews.
And suddenly the ugliest terror of all reared its monstrous head: What if he was wounded and fell into enemy hands and made a prisoner of war . . . and the Germans found out he was Jewish!
The thought made her head spin so crazily out of orbit she was certain she was going to throw up. It took every ounce of willpower to swallow the bile and keep it down.
Dani said, 'Only if enough of us stand up and fight can we hope to survive. You can see that, can't you?'
She fought to be brave and found the courage to give a slight nod. He was right, of course; deep down inside, she knew that as clearly as she knew that death followed birth, that night followed day. His mind was made up. It was in his eyes. She could only agree with him, and hopefully strengthen his courage and resolve even further. It was hard enough for him to march off and do battle against Hitler's seemingly invincible forces without her reminding him of the hazards involved.
Whatever she did, she must not undermine his confidence, for that could prove fatal.
'Ye—' she started, then swallowed to moisten her mouth, and with a supreme effort tried again. 'Yes, darling,' she said simply, pressing the soft warmth of her body against him. 'You must join the British forces. I ... I understand.'
He stared at her speechlessly.
'I'm so proud of you,' she whispered. 'I love you so much.'
He shook his head wonderingly. 'It is I who should be proud,' he said as he pulled her closer to kiss her. 'A lesser woman would have tried to talk me out of it.' He smiled at her. 'You know, you really are your father's daughter.'
Suddenly tears sprang into her eyes. 'My father's daughter wasn't speaking,' she said thickly. 'That was your wife.'
'I know.' He smiled more widely now and dabbed her eyes with his fingertips. 'Don't I know.'
'Dani . . .' There was a frightened look on her face.
'Hmmmm?'
'You'll be careful? You won't do anything foolish?'
He laughed. 'How could I? I must come back, mustn't I? There are mountains to move, babies to make. We need every man, woman, and child to make Herzl's dream of a Jewish homeland a reality.' He grinned confidently, his strong white teeth gleaming. 'Nothing will happen to me until we have a houseful of children.'
She felt a pang in her heart. When he smiled, he looked so young, so fragile, making her aware, not of his strengths, but of his fragility. Bones, muscles, organs, skin—they were all so damageable.
That night, and the three remaining nights they had together before he sailed, they made furious, savage love, as if they had to prove they were strong, potent, and very much alive.
Four days later he drove to Haifa to board the British frigate to take him to England, and she and the children went along. It was the most miserable ride of her life. Their time together was down to mere hours, the meter running. Even the twins seemed to sense her fears and were uncharacteristically subdued.
At the wharf, she was surprised by the sight which greeted her eyes. There was a contingent of at least two hundred other young Jewish volunteers waiting to set sail aboard the same ship. From the carnival merriment it was obvious that the men were going off gladly. Women and men of all ages were on hand to see them off, handing out flowers and glasses of Semillon wine. Musicians played traditional songs, and some particularly lively couples linked hands to dance an impromptu hora under the relentless sun. Tamara could only stare. Despite the knowledge that many of the men might not return, their enthusiasm was not dampened.
Her heart swelled with pride. She looked at Dani. Much as the settlers had struggled to gain their freedom from the yoke of the British, many were willing to set aside their differences and send the flower of their youth off to fight Hitler alongside the English. They knew what was important to them.
This rousing sight brought a lump to her throat and made her proud to be Jewish. The time came for Dani to board the ship, and she had to bite down on her lips and fight against the tears, but it was a losing battle. As soon as that ship casts off, he'll be gone, at the mercy of faceless generals and nameless tacticians, fodder for an arsenal of bullets and bombs and God only knows what other horrors, and he might never come back. I might never hold him in my arms again.
Tears slid in unchecked rivulets down her cheeks as they stood locked in their final embrace, a gust of warm sea wind rippling through their hair. 'I'll pray for you, Dani,' she whispered. She stared into his eyes and stroked his face, as if to memorize it by touch as well as sight. 'Do what you have to, but don't make me a widow,' she pleaded softly in Hebrew.
Unexpectedly, he threw back his head and laughed. 'I'll be back in one piece, and soon. Wait and see. One good Jew is worth ten thousand Nazis. We'll show those Germans. Hitler won't know what hit him. The war will end in no time.'
Chapter 28
The war dragged on and on, with no end in sight. The days were long and the nights unbearably empty. Tamara felt like a widow. With Dani gone, there was a void in her life that was like that terrible loneliness after Louis had died. Ha
d it not been for the unceasing daily work the kibbutz demanded, she would have gone out of her mind. As it was, the hours of drudgery weren't nearly enough to keep her busy. She cared for the twins, played with them, cleaned the house until it shone, organized theatrical events for the settlement's children, polished her Hebrew, devoured all the books she could get her hands on, kept a diary, wrote long weekly letters to Dani, and made herself available to any of the other families who could use her help. She was content to do anything as long as it occupied her mind so that she could forget the constant ache of emptiness for a while.
When more of the men went off to join the British forces, she and the other women learned to clean, oil, load, and practise firing Ein Shmona's hidden arsenal of weapons, so that in case of an attack they could defend themselves. To the surprise of the men, the women were no less marksmen than they. Their touch on the trigger was often more delicate, and they showed more patience lining up the targets in their sights.
The highlights of Tamara's life became those infrequent but exhilarating moments when Dani's letters arrived. She read them over and over. They were invariably censored, and she never knew exactly what he was up to or what his missions really were, but just hearing from him was enough. She knew he was a navigator on an aeroplane, out there amid all the violence and chaos, still alive. Those letters were her lifeline, her salvation from madness.
Months, then years, passed, and still there was no end in sight. Europe and the Pacific became two massive chessboards, and while victories had initially belonged to Germany and the Axis powers, US involvement brought about a turning point. Slowly the tides of war started to favour the Allies in their relentless drive to push back the Axis powers. Now England no longer had to depend on her deteriorating defensive position. Thanks to American technology and massive infusions of aid, including men, armaments and ammunition, Allied bombers began nightly retaliatory sweeps over Germany—missions in which Dani ben Yaacov was taking part.
