Lucas starts sleeping in his bedroom again, on the double bed. He doesn't forget market days, he doesn't let the milk go sour. He takes care of the animals, the garden, the house. He goes back into the forest to collect mushrooms and firewood. He takes up fishing again.
When he was a child, Lucas caught fish by hand or with a rod. Now he invents a system that diverts the fish from the mainstream into a pool where they are trapped. Then Lucas only needs to scoop them out in a net when he wants fresh fish.
In the evenings Lucas eats with the priest, plays a game or two of chess, then walks around the streets of the town.
One night he goes into the first bar he meets on his way. It used to be a well-kept café, even during the war. Now it is a dingy place, almost empty.
An ugly, weary waitress shouts from the counter, "How many?"
"Three."
Lucas sits at a table stained with red wine and cigarette ash. The waitress brings him three glasses of cheap red wine. She collects his money right away.
When he has finished his three glasses, Lucas gets up and leaves. He pushes on as far as the main square. He stops in front of the book and stationery store and stands gazing into the window: school notebooks, pencils, erasers, and a few books.
Lucas goes into the bar opposite.
It is a bit livelier, but it is even dirtier than the other bar. The floor is covered with sawdust.
Lucas sits next to the open door, the only form of ventilation in the place.
A group of border guards are sitting around a long table. They have girls with them. They are singing.
A ragged little old man comes and sits at Lucas's table.
"How about playing something, eh?"
Lucas shouts, "A half bottle and two glasses!"
The little old man says, "I wasn't scrounging a drink, I just wanted you to play. Like before."
"I can't play like before."
"I know. But play anyway. I'd like that."
Lucas pours the wine. "Drink."
He takes his harmonica out of his pocket and starts to play a sad song, a song about love and separation.
The border guards and the girls take up the tune. One of the girls comes and sits next to Lucas; she strokes his hair.
"Isn't he cute?"
Lucas stops playing. He gets up.
The girl laughs. "Touchy!"
Outside it is raining. Lucas goes into a third bar, orders another three glasses. When he starts playing, the customers' eyes turn to him, then back to their drinks. People come here to drink, not talk.
Suddenly, a large, well-built man, with one leg amputated, plants himself on his crutches in the middle of the room beneath the single bare light bulb and begins to sing a forbidden song.
Lucas accompanies him on the harmonica.
The other customers drink up quickly, and one after another leave the bar.
Tears run down the man's cheeks as he sings the last two lines of the song:
The people have already atoned
For the past and the future.
The next day Lucas goes to the book and stationery shop. He picks out three pencils, a pack of lined paper, and a thick notebook. When he comes to the cash register, the bookseller, a pale, obese man, says to him, "I haven't seen you for a long time. Have you been away?"
"No. I was just too busy."
"Your consumption of paper is most impressive. I sometimes wonder what it is you do with it."
Lucas says, "I like filling up blank sheets with pencil. It passes the time."
"You must have a mountain of them by now."
"I waste a lot. I use the spoiled pages to light the fire."
The bookseller says, "Unfortunately my other customers aren't as regular as you. Business is poor. Before the war, things were good. There were lots of schools around here. High schools, boarding schools, secondary schools. The students wandered through the streets in the evening having fun. There was also a musical conservatory, concerts and plays every week. Look out there now. Nothing but children and old people. A few workers, a few winegrowers. There are no more young people in this town. The schools have been moved to the interior of the country, all except the primary school. The young people, even those who aren't studying, move away, to towns that have some life. Our town is dead, empty. The border zone, sealed off, forgotten. Everyone knows everyone else in this town. Always the same faces. No outsiders can get in."
Lucas says, "There are the border guards. They're young."
"Yes, poor fellows. Locked away in their barracks, on patrol at night. Every six months they change them to keep them from forming contacts with the townspeople. This town has ten thousand inhabitants, plus three thousand foreign soldiers and two thousand of our own border guards. Before the war there were five thousand students, and tourists during the summer. The tourists came from the interior as well as from across the border."
Lucas asks, "The border was open?"
"Of course. The farmers from over there came to sell their produce here, the students went to the other side for village fairs. The train used to run to the next big town in the other country.
Now this town is the end of the line. Everybody off! And show your papers!"
Lucas asks, "You could come and go freely? You could travel abroad?"
"Of course. You've never known what that's like. Now you can't take a step without having to show your identity card. And the special permit for the border zone."
"What if you haven't got one?"
"It's better to have one."
"I haven't got one."
"How old are you?"
"Fifteen."
"You should have one. Even children get an identity card at school. What do you do when you leave town and then come back?"
"I never leave town."
"Never? You don't even go to the next town when you need to buy something you can't find here?"
"No. I haven't left this town since my mother brought me here six years ago."
The bookseller says, "If you want to avoid trouble, get yourself an identity card. Go to the town hall and explain your case. If anyone gives you trouble, ask for Peter N. Tell him Victor sent you. Peter comes from the same town as me. Up north. He has an important position in the Party."
Lucas says, "That's kind of you. But why should I have problems getting an identity card?"
"You never know."
***
Lucas goes into a large building near the castle. Flags hang from the facade. Numerous black plaques with gold lettering indicate the offices:
POLITICAL BUREAU OF THE REVOLUTIONARY PARTY
SECRETARIAT OF THE REVOLUTIONARY PARTY
ASSOCIATION OF REVOLUTIONARY YOUTH
ASSOCIATION OF REVOLUTIONARY WOMEN
FEDERATION OF REVOLUTIONARY TRADE UNIONS
Through the door a simple gray plaque with red letters:
COUNCIL INQUIRIES SECOND FLOOR
Lucas goes up to the second floor, knocks on a frosted window above which is written: "Identity cards."
A man in gray overalls opens the sliding window and looks at Lucas without speaking.
Lucas says, "Hello. I'd like to apply for an identity card."
"Renew, you mean. Your present one's expired?"
"No, I don't have one. I've never had one. Someone told me I'm supposed to have one."
The official asks, "How old are you?"
"Fifteen."
"Then you are supposed to have one. Give me your school card."
Lucas says, "I haven't got a card. Of any kind."
The official says, "That's not possible. If you are still at primary school you have your school card; if you are a student you have your student card; if you are an apprentice you have your apprenticeship card."
Lucas says, "I'm sorry. I haven't got any of those. I never went to school."
"How come? School is compulsory up to the age of fourteen."
"I was excused from school because of a psychological disorder."
"So what are you doing now?"
"I live off the produce from my garden. I also play music in bars at night."
The official says, "Ah, it's you. Lucas T., is that your name?"
"Yes."
"Who do you live with?"
"I live in Grandmother's house near the border. I live alone. Grandmother died last year."
The official scratches his head. "Listen, you're a special case. I'll have to check on this. I can't decide this on my own. You'll have to come back in a few days."
Lucas says, "Peter N. might be able to straighten it out."
"Peter N.? The Party Secretary? You know him?" He picks up the telephone.
Lucas tells him, "I was recommended by Victor."
The official hangs up and comes out of his office.
"Come on. We're going downstairs."
He knocks on a door marked SECRETARIAT OF THE REVOLUTIONARY PARTY. They go in. A young man is sitting behind a desk. The official hands him a blank card.
"It's about an identity card."
"I'll take care of it. Leave us."
The official leaves. The young man gets up and offers his hand to Lucas.
"Hello, Lucas."
"You know me?" "Everyone in town knows you. I'm very pleased to be of service to you. Let's fill in your card. Last name, first name, address, date of birth. You're only fifteen? You're big for your age. Occupation? Shall I write 'musician'?"
Lucas says, "I also live off the produce from my garden."
"Then I'll write 'gardener.' It looks more responsible. Now let's see, brown hair, gray eyes… political allegiance?"
Lucas says, "Cross that out."
"All right. And here, what do you want me to write here- 'Official assessment'?"
" 'Idiot,' if possible. I suffered a traumatic disorder. I'm not quite normal."
The young man laughs. "Not quite normal? Who would believe it? But you're right. An assessment like that could spare you a lot of inconvenience. Military service, for example. I'll write 'chronic psychological problems.' Does that suit you?"
Lucas says, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
"Call me Peter."
Lucas says, "Thank you, Peter."
Peter comes close to Lucas and hands him his card. With his other hand he gently touches Lucas's face. Lucas closes his eyes. Peter kisses him lingeringly on the mouth, holding Lucas's head in his hands. He stays looking at Lucas's face for a moment, then he sits down at his desk.
"Excuse me, Lucas. I was moved by your beauty. I must be very careful. The Party does not forgive this sort of thing."
Lucas says, "No one will know about it."
Peter says, "You can't hide such a vice all your life. I won't stay long in this post. I'm only here because I deserted, gave myself up, and returned with the victorious army of our liberators. I was still a student when I was sent off to war."
Lucas says, "You should get married, or at least have a mistress to allay suspicion. You should find it easy to attract a woman. You are handsome, masculine. And you are sad. Women like sad men. What's more, you have a good position."
Peter laughs. "I have no desire to attract a woman."
Lucas says, "Nevertheless, there are perhaps women one can love, in some way."
"You know a lot for someone your age, Lucas!"
"I don't know anything. I'm just guessing."
"If you need anything at all, come and see me."
2
It is the final day of the year. A great cold from the north has gripped the earth.
Lucas goes down to the river. He will take some fish to the priest for the New Year's Eve supper.
It is already dark. Lucas is armed with a hurricane lamp and a pickax. He starts to break the ice covering the pool. Then he hears a child crying. He points his lamp in the direction of the sound.
A woman is sitting on the little bridge that Lucas built many years ago. The woman is wrapped in a blanket. She is watching the river bearing away blocks of snow and ice. Inside the blanket a baby is crying.
Lucas approaches and asks the woman, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"
She doesn't answer. Her large, black eyes stare into the light of the lamp.
Lucas says, "Come."
He wraps his right arm around her. He guides her toward the house, lighting the way ahead. The child is still crying.
In the kitchen it is warm. The woman sits down, uncovers her breast, and suckles the baby.
Lucas turns away. He warms up the remains of some vegetable soup.
The child sleeps on his mother's knee. The mother looks at Lucas.
"I wanted to drown him. I couldn't do it."
Lucas asks, "Do you want me to do it?"
"Do you think you could do it?"
"I've drowned mice, cats, puppies."
"A baby is a different matter."
"Do you want me to drown him or not?"
"No, not anymore. It's too late."
After a silence, Lucas says, "There's a spare room here. You can sleep here with your child."
She raises her dark eyes to Lucas. "Thank you. My name is Yasmine."
Lucas opens the door of Grandmother's room.
"Lay your child on the bed. We can leave the door open to warm the room. When you've eaten you can go and sleep next to him."
Yasmine places her child on Grandmother's bed. She comes back to the kitchen.
Lucas asks, "Are you hungry?"
"I haven't eaten since yesterday evening."
Lucas pours the soup into a bowl.
"Eat, then go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. I have to go now."
He goes back to the pool, scoops out two fish with the net, and goes off to the priest's house.
He prepares the meal as usual. He eats with the priest and they play a game of chess. Lucas loses for the first time.
The priest is cross.
"You are distracted this evening, Lucas. You're making stupid mistakes. Let's play again, and concentrate this time."
Lucas says, "I'm tired. I have to go home."
"You're going to hang around in the bars again."
"You are well informed, Father."
The priest laughs. "I see many old women. They tell me everything that happens in town. Don't make a face! Go on, enjoy yourself. It's New Year's Eve."
"I wish you a Happy New Year, Father."
The priest gets up, too; he places his hand on Lucas's head.
"God bless you. May His peace be with you."
Lucas says, "I'll never have peace within me."
"You must pray and hope, my child."
Lucas walks down the street. He goes past the noisy bars, doesn't stop, quickens his step. When he reaches the unlit lane that leads to Grandmother's house he is running.
He opens the kitchen door. Yasmine is still sitting on the corner seat. She has opened the door of the stove; she is looking into the fire. The bowl, full of cold soup, still stands on the table.
Lucas sits down opposite Yasmine.
"You haven't eaten."
"I'm not hungry. I'm still frozen."
Lucas takes a bottle of brandy from the shelf, pours out two glasses.
"Drink. It'll warm you up inside."
He drinks, and so does Yasmine. He pours again. They drink in silence. They hear the town bells ringing in the distance.
Lucas says, "It's midnight. A new year begins."
Yasmine lowers her head onto the table. She cries.
Lucas gets up, removes the blanket which is still wrapped round Yasmine. He strokes her long, shiny black hair. He strokes her breasts, which are swollen with milk. He unfastens her blouse, bends forward, and drinks her milk.
The next day Lucas goes into the kitchen. Yasmine is sitting on the bench with the baby on her knee.
She says, "I'd like to bathe my baby. After that I'll leave."
"Where would you go?"
"I don't know. I can't stay in this town after what has happened."
/> Lucas asks, "What has happened? Is it the child? There are other unmarried mothers in the town. Have your parents disowned you?"
"I haven't got any parents. My mother died giving birth to me. I lived with my father and with my aunt, my mother's sister. My aunt brought me up. When my father returned from the war he married her. But he didn't love her. He only loved me."
Lucas says, "I see."
"Yes. And when my aunt found out she denounced us. My father is in prison. I worked in the hospital as a cleaner until the birth. I left the hospital this morning. I knocked at the door of our house. My aunt wouldn't open it to me. She cursed me through the door."
Lucas says, "I know your story. I've heard the gossip in the bars."
"Yes, everyone talks about it. It's a small town. I can't stay here. I was going to drown the child, then go over the border."
"You can't cross the border. You'd step on a mine."
"I don't care if I die." "How old are you?"
"Eighteen."
"You're too young to die. You could rebuild your life somewhere else. In another town, later, when your child has grown up. For now you can stay here as long as you want."
She says, "What about the people in town?"
"They'll stop gossiping. They'll shut up eventually. You don't have to face them. We're not in the town here. This is my home."
"You would keep me here with my child?"
"You can live in this room, you can use the kitchen, but you must never go into my room or up into the attic. You must never ask me any questions."
"I won't ask you any questions and I won't disturb you. I won't let the child disturb you either. I'll cook and clean up. I can do everything. At home I did the housework, because my aunt works in a factory."
Lucas says, "The water is boiling. You can prepare the bath."
Yasmine puts a basin on the table. She takes off the child's clothes and diaper. Lucas warms a bath towel over the stove. Yasmine washes the child. Lucas watches her.
He says, "He is deformed around the shoulders."
"Yes. His legs, too. They told me at the hospital. It's my fault. I wore a tight corset around my stomach to hide the pregnancy. He'll be crippled. If only I'd had the courage to drown him."
Lucas takes the bundle in his arms, looks at the little crumpled face.
The Book of Lies Page 12
