by Thomas Briar
Evan, occupying the seat against the back wall, took a sip of his soda and shrugged. “I just thought I could do it. You see, once I started performing I noticed pretty quickly that all of the scripts we followed resembled cheesy porn. And since I’d taken a semester of creative writing back in college I believed I could come up with something a little more interesting without compromising the key elements the voyeurs wanted included within the performances.”
“Of course you’d think that.” Kara smiled, admiring his self-confidence. So far on this Thursday’s evening date, he’d been talkative and happy, like he was as pleased as she was with how last night had turned out. However, as of yet, he hadn’t brought the subject up. And neither had she. The mood was so relaxed between them that she didn’t want to do anything to ruin it. But, of course, at some point during this date she wanted to discuss it, as well as a few other things. Although presently, basking in the glory of all that made him spectacular was perfectly fine with her.
“Why all the sudden interest in my writing? That’s the second time this evening that you’ve brought it up. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you have designs on taking my job. So what gives?”
She made sure her face displayed open honesty. “I assure you that I don’t have the talent or the inclination to be a writer. I’m just curious about you. You seem to be one of those people with a lot of hidden talents. Most people, if they possessed only half of your talents, would be promoting themselves on the Internet to no end.”
Evan frowned. “Fame isn’t worth anything to me. That’s why you won’t find me on the Internet. I don’t want to get famous, to then wake up one day down the road to find out no one cares about what I have to offer any longer. I think that would be the most awful thing ever. Because I’m certain fame, like heroin, is very addictive. And I’m not looking to get addicted to any kind of drug that I may not be able to get tomorrow. I’m smarter than that.”
“That’s makes sense, I suppose.” And she thought it did. It also lent a bleak outlook on her career as an up-and-coming mainstream actress. She couldn’t help wondering how she’d deal with it if she didn’t achieve stardom like she’d envisioned. Or even worse, achieved it for only a short spell and then had to go back to working in advertising. She couldn’t keep her doubts and fears about the future from showing.
Regret immediately plastered Evan’s face. “Hey, that’s just my opinion of fame, and my opinion is suited specifically to my wants and needs, so what I think isn’t worth too much. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn’t put any stock in it at all. You can have a wonderful and fulfilling career in the adult industry. I’m certain of it. I never meant to imply it wouldn’t work out for you just fine. I personally just don’t want fame and all the bullshit that goes along with it. That’s what I meant to say.”
“How do you know it will work out for me?” She needed to know this most of all now.
“Well, if it doesn’t, I’ll be extremely shocked. Because I’m going to pull every string I can for you after you come through for me on Saturday. And I’ll have you know that I’m friends with some very influential people in the industry. You’ll be on movie posters. I guarantee it. And you will become rich and famous. So disregard everything I said a moment ago.”
“Okay.” She forced all of her doubts and fears aside to make her mind return to her original question. “Now please finish your story about how you got into writing porn scripts? I’d really like to hear it.”
“Well, after thinking I could do it, I mentioned my wanting to write a script to Trevor. You remember him from Tuesday night, don’t you?”
“Yes. I won’t forget my night in the house of slaves if I live to be a thousand.”
Evan chuckled. “Nice description of Trevor’s place, indeed. Though you wouldn’t guess it from looking at his apartment, he’s worth millions, along with his brother Brian. Brian runs the day-to-day operations of their porn empire but Trevor is actually the wizard behind the curtain. He’s the one who got them started in porn back in the day. He’s also a freaking genius when it comes to marketing their movies.”
“I see.”
“Anyway, after I asked, Trevor gave me the specifics of what the patrons wanted in their next performance and I wrote it up. He was very happy with it, so he made the pitch for me. The patrons loved it. He then encouraged me to write a movie. I did and he made it into a very successful feature film. I was blown away by my good fortune.”
“Success happened pretty fast for you, huh?”
“Yeah, it kind of did. Sometimes I wonder if I’d still be engineering if my co-worker at the firm where I used to work hadn’t needed an alibi to keep his marriage intact. Or if my sister Bethany hadn’t gotten sick would I have eventually asked my co-worker to help me get into the business out of sheer curiosity. Or, what if my co-worker wouldn’t have returned the favor by introducing me to Brian and Trevor so they could take a liking to me and invite me to join their family?”
Evan took a sip of his drink and glanced around the donut shop. “When I think of all the positive things that happened for me it’s mind-boggling. Except for Bethany getting sick, I can only describe the last few years of my life as a series of fortuitous accidents. Any one thing having been different and I might never have taking up performing and finally writing.”
“Some people have all the luck, I suppose.” Kara couldn’t keep the awe off her face.
“Yeah,” Evan said in a low voice, “I’ve been really lucky. But I would gladly go back to engineering and leading a normal life without a moment’s hesitation if it would keep Bethany from ever having gotten sick. The chemo treatments were brutal on her body. By the time the cancer was eradicated she looked like a skeleton and had lost all of her hair. I couldn’t even shave my head along with her for emotional support because I needed my hair to keep getting the callbacks. It was a tough ordeal. But she made it through it and is perfectly healthy now. That’s the most important thing to me these days.”
“I’m very sorry that happened to her.”
“Me too,” Evan whispered. Then, all of a sudden, he brightened up. “Would you like to meet her?”
“You want to introduce me to your sister?” The hope of their having a future together filled Kara’s heart to near bursting.
“That’s what I said.” He appeared confident and sure of his asking.
“In that case, I would love to meet your sister.” If not for the underlying guilt stemming from her deception, this forthcoming evolution in their relationship would have been perfect.
“Good.” He grinned. “She called me this morning and asked if I would stop by to see her tonight. That she has something she needs to talk to me about. She’s kind of high-strung since her ordeal, but it shouldn’t take over thirty minutes for me to sort out whatever emotional dilemma she thinks she’s in. There’s somewhere I’d like to take you afterward.”
“Count me in.”
“Great.” Excitement dominated his eyes. “And just so you know, you’re going to be blown away by what I have planned for us later tonight.”
“Is it another public exhibition?”
He smirked. “You wish. After last night I was thinking of something a little more intimate than public masturbation.”
The words ‘a little more intimate’ echoed in Kara’s ears. She discreetly licked her lips as her juices started to flow. The thought of telling him about her successful training exercise this morning crossed her mind, but before she could bolster the courage to speak up, a hot flush of embarrassment enveloped her face. She glanced around the shop to offset it.
In doing this, she noticed the trio of young girls on the opposite side of the shop looking her way. One of the girls, a pretty brunette, waved.
She waved back and the girls went back to their sodas and pastries, giggling happily.
Dismissing the girls as only being friendly, Kara returned to courting the happiness in Evan’s eyes. It overflowed onto her to encapsulate them
inside a protective bubble. She suddenly felt like any confession of wrongdoing on her part would be easily forgiven by him now. She decided to test this belief before she could talk herself out of it.
“You know something? This has been the most exciting week of my life so far.”
“Has it now?” Evan took a sip of his drink, the happiness in his eyes growing more intense.
“It certainly has.” Kara became determined to see this confession to its inevitable conclusion and not let anything stand in her way. “You know, before meeting you, I never liked being Kara Gibson. I always wanted to be someone—”
“Excuse us? Miss Karan Gibbs? Can we have your autograph?” a soft, feminine voice interrupted. The trio of young women now stood in a semi-circle around Kara.
“Do what?” Kara mumbled, shocked to the core at these strangers addressing her by her stage name. She glanced up in growing horror at the girls, at Evan, and then once again at the girls.
“I’m Claire, and these are my friends, Tina and Jess,” the brunette said. “We all went to see your award-winning plays The Lonely Room in Chicago last year and Last Chance Winner in New York a few months ago. We’re so excited that you’re going to start filming your first movie in New Zealand soon. We can hardly wait to see it.”
“Uh-uh-uh.” Kara glanced at Evan again, fearing he would quickly connect the dots.
“Yes, Miss Karan Gibbs. Please take a few moments to sign autographs for your adoring fans,” Evan prompted. From his indulgent countenance it was apparent that he believed the trio suffered from a case of mistaken identity.
Kara smiled beautifully. “Of course, I’d love to. Do you have paper and pen?”
“We’re always packing.” The pretty brunette withdrew a small spiral bound notepad and pen from her purse. She quickly handed both over. “We know you’re from Atlanta originally before you moved to Chicago three years ago. Now you live in New York. I’ve always told Jess and Tina here,” the brunette shoulder-bumped both of her friends from her standing position in the center, “that you would finally come back to visit Atlanta and if luck were on our side that we would somehow get to meet you. To think it’s in a donut shop is almost surreal. People won’t ever believe us. We almost went across the street for ice cream instead.”
“What a coincidence. We almost went across the street for ice cream but changed our minds too. So this must be fate.” Kara said this to be personable. “Now who do I address this first one to? Claire, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s Claire.” The brunette nodded, sneaking a smile at each of her friends.
Kara spoke as she scribbled. “Claire, may luck always be on your side, Karan Gibbs.”
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Claire gushed once the pad was handed back over.
“And what is your name?” Kara asked the friend on the left. This girl was blonde with a thin face and wasn’t quite as pretty as the brunette.
“Jess,” the girl answered and handed over an identical notepad and pen.
“Jess, may fortune always favor you, Karan Gibbs.” She winked at the blushing girl as she returned the pad and pen.
“My name is Tina.” The last girl handed over yet another identical notepad and pen. She had long, black hair and an innocent-looking face.
“Tina, may fortune always court you, Karan Gibbs.”
“Thank you very much, Miss Gibbs.” Jess appeared on the verge of tears.
“No, no. I want to thank you nice young ladies for coming over and speaking to me. Without fans, I have no career. It was you three, along with other fans just like you, who made it possible for me to transition into movies. I only hope I continue to make you proud of me.”
“Would you girls like to take a photograph with Miss Karan so your friends will definitely believe you?” Evan asked. “I’m sure Miss Karan wouldn’t mind.”
“Can we? Really?” the brunette asked, digging a phone out of her purse while beaming a delighted smile. The other two girls started hopping up and down in a frenzy.
“How can I possibly say no?” Kara smiled proudly at the reverence given to her.
“If you girls want, you all can huddle up around her and I’ll take a few for you,” Evan offered.
“Okay!” Claire exclaimed.
Evan urged Kara from the booth. He quickly took possession of Claire’s phone to snap several pictures. Then each of the girls used their own phones to take selfies with Kara. Once the photographing was finished, the girls scrolled through their phones, giggling wildly.
“Now, I hope you young ladies won’t be too disappointed but we have somewhere we have to be shortly,” Evan announced.
“That’s okay,” Claire spoke directly to Kara. “We’re just so glad to have met you and also for you letting us take pictures with you. People will have to believe us now.”
“Hey, say your goodbyes,” Evan said to Kara. “I see a cab coming down the street. I’m going to go stop it. So please hurry.”
Kara watched him jog outside. She turned to the girls, giving them all an individual hug. “I’m really sorry, but I have to go now.”
“One last thing,” Claire prompted.
Kara cut her eyes at Evan again. He held the door to cab open. She looked back at Claire. “Yes?”
“Is that your boyfriend?”
“Oh no.” She winced from already wondering how the pictures in the girl’s phones would be construed on the various social networks since she was supposed to be in Fiji this week instead of Atlanta. She quickly added, “We’re only close friends.”
“Well, I think he’s really hot!” Claire gushed.
“Thank you. I’ll tell him you said so. Bye for now.” She hustled outside to let Evan help her into the cab.
“Who in the fuck is Karan Gibbs?” Evan asked as soon as the cab took off down the street. He stared at Kara like they’d just pulled off a bank caper.
She fiddled with her pocketbook strap to bide for time. There was only one of two ways she could play this now. Tell him the whole truth like she’d intended before the trio of girls interrupted her, or spin another lie.
Letting out a guilty sigh, she said, “Karan Gibbs is my first cousin on my daddy’s side. We look identical; people really can’t tell us apart. She’s also a very successful actress on Broadway.”
“Do what?” Evan gawked.
“I said Karan Gibbs is my cousin. You can do an Internet search and I guarantee you’ll think it’s me in the pictures that will come up. Our resemblance to each other is uncanny. It’s like we’re identical twins, except we came from different parents. Oh yeah, she just happened to get famous for acting and I didn’t.”
Sympathy encompassed Evan’s face. He took hold of her hand. “Is that why you’re so determined to become famous? Because she did and you have some sort of rivalry going on with her?”
“Maybe that’s part of it. I don’t really know.” She kept her eyes downcast, despising herself for telling yet another pack of lies. But the trio of girls in the donut shop had burst the protective bubble she’d shared with him. She couldn’t tell him the truth now. Maybe she’d find a way later tonight.
“Well, I wouldn’t worry about her success too much. Just think of all the fun she can’t have in this digital age of cell phones equipped with cameras. Everyone and their siblings are trying to cash in on movie stars’ misdeeds. They can’t go anywhere without being recognized,” Evan said and then squeezed Kara’s hand for emphasis. “That’s the main reason fame isn’t worth anything to me. I don’t want my picture to be on the front page of some celebrity rag under the headline, ‘Sexual Deviant Exposed.’ I’m sure you don’t want that either so you’re luckier than her. She just doesn’t have enough sense to know it.”
“I don’t know,” Kara admitted. “She lives a pretty good life in the limelight.”
“Just wait until she becomes a full-fledged movie star and you’ll hear her bitching and moaning about how she can’t enjoy a dinner out without the paparazzi in
vading her privacy. The limelight won’t be so much fun to her then. Let me tell you another thing, no amount of fame and fortune is worth more to me than what we did together last night. I don’t think it is to you either.”
“It was pretty nice,” she agreed, remembering the wonderful sexual freedom she’d enjoyed within her anonymity.
“So don’t let her mainstream success get you down. You will be celebrated for being yourself, not some fake version of yourself that a publicist creates for you. And above all else, always remember that no one lies as much as Hollywood does, because their whole industry relies on deception. At least what you’ll be doing in porn will be genuinely you. So be proud you won’t be living a lie like your cousin.”
“I suppose,” Kara answered, knowing he spoke the truth. Wasn’t she lying on the social networks every single day of her life? Didn’t she always strive to make people think she was the quintessential good Southern girl so they would like her?
She grieved that she’d changed so much from her original self since striving after fame and fortune. The truth of the matter declared that she’d worked so hard to become Karan Gibbs that Kara Gibson had become a distant memory. Even to her.
“Come on. Shake it off,” Evan urged. “Gloom and doom isn’t attractive on anyone. We’re going to my sister’s, remember? And then I’m taking you somewhere else that you’re really going to enjoy.”
“If you say so,” she tried to concentrate on the positive aspects of her life instead of the negative. Tonight, before their date ended, she would find the courage to confess her great love for him along with every shameful detail of her deception. Then, once his initial shock subsided, she would reveal her grandiose plan to keep them together long-term.
She looked out the window of the cab at the hum-drum of bustling Atlanta while she kept reminding herself that it was a good plan, a foolproof plan, and one that he might actually agree to if he could find it in his heart to forgive her for deceiving him and then love her back.
