“Not about burning. The only other nightmare I’ve had was the night before the party.”
I didn’t want to tell him that it been about him turning into a monster, but I knew if I didn’t tell him, he’d drag it out of me. “It was about you. You ripped out my throat in front of everyone at the Hallows party.”
Apparently, he could handle that. He let go of my shoulders and looked inward. “Damn it. I thought this might happen.”
“Is something wrong with me?” I asked irrationally. “Am I changing?”
“You’re okay; you aren’t turning. There are individuals with the power to manipulate dreams. It’s possible someone is sending you these nightmares. They’re not natural.” He held me tighter. “Don’t worry. I know someone who can help.”
“Could it be Devlin sending them?”
“It could be,” he said thoughtfully. “But I doubt it. If he wanted someone to feel like they were burning, he’d just set them on fire.”
What a charmer. “Maybe we’re overreacting. Maybe it was just a dream.”
“Maybe. I’ll call a man I know just in case. He can tell us for sure. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”
* * * *
It hit me a few seconds after I awoke that I’d be going home. I turned to Danial still sleeping beside me. It had only been a few days, but I would miss waking up next to him. I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair. He stirred but didn’t wake. That simple act gave me a rush of heady pleasure.
Despite all he’d done, all the trouble he’d brought into my life, I knew I was in love with him. He was ruthless; he could be cruel, but he was no serial killer, murdering without provocation. He wasn’t the monster Terian had led me to believe.
I watched him for a while, thinking tender thoughts about him. I remembered his words in the kitchen and the look in his eyes as he watched me. His voice had been so hesitant a day ago, when he’d asked me if I loved him. I could easily lose myself for hours just watching him sleep. When he didn’t have to be strong, or ready for anything or have all the answers. He could just be relaxed and content and in love.
But I had to leave, and the longer I stayed, the harder it would be. I shook myself and got up.
Mary had taken care of washing my clothes and had folded left them folded on my overnight bag. I packed them and went into the bathroom. After a shower, I dressed in the outfit Danial had bought me last night.
I thought about packing my toiletries but decided to leave them. If I was coming back in a few days, what would be the point? Maybe it would reassure him that I would return. I didn’t understand his concern about that. Why wouldn’t I come back?
I looked at my face in the mirror for the first time since the party and noticed a difference. My eyes seemed brighter and my complexion was almost radiant. No matter what I thought as I looked in the mirror, there was a smile on my lips, as if I knew a secret no one else did. Being with Danial had changed me. I looked like a woman in love. Yes, I was a walking billboard with flashing lights.
I laughed at myself and went back into the bedroom. Danial opened his eyes and looked at me. He was never groggy, the way I was when I first woke up. He’d shared that his sleep and dreams weren’t like mine.
His face broke into a smile. As we had spent more time together, his smiles had become less sarcastic and wry. But when he saw the way I was dressed, he grew grim. “You’re dressed already.”
“I have to leave. I have work tomorrow.”
His eyes were unabashedly sad when they searched mine. “Why are you so eager to leave me?”
I felt a stab of guilt and then a rush of anger. I’d hoped we weren’t going to fight when I left, but I’d had an inkling we would. “You know I’m falling for you. I’d like to stay, but—”
“Then stay with me,” he said as if that settled it.
I continued more forcefully, “—I need to go home.”
“Why? This could be your home.”
It sounded so simple, and part of me wanted to give in. But more of me knew this wasn’t something I was ready for; not yet, if ever. I missed the sunlight after only a few days. I missed home. It was too soon.
“I’m not ready to move in with you. It’s not you; it’s me.”
“Don’t you want to be taken care of?” he asked softly. “Loved?”
I don’t know what it cost him to say that, but it cost a lot to hear it. I felt the tears form in my eyes, and my breath tore out of me. But it would be worse in the end if I gave in. I did want to be taken care of. I wanted to be loved. Especially after losing Brennan and being alone. The year after he’d died had felt like fifty. I’d passed happy couples and hated them, remembering what I’d had and lost. I’d felt the ache of missing him and the emotional hole I couldn’t fill. I’d tried to fill it with hard work, volunteering, and animal rescue, but even when I exhausted myself, at the end of the day I could still feel the emptiness inside me. I’d erased all trace of Brennan from my life, putting away the pictures and my rings, even his favorite CDs. I thought it would help, but now, standing here in this maelstrom of emotions, I felt just as bad. Just as unsure.
I clamped down on my emotions. Vulnerable or not, I knew who I was. I knew what I could do and what I couldn’t. And I couldn’t stay with him. I couldn’t give up my way of life, not yet.
“I gave you my answer,” I said more calmly that I felt. “I’m not saying never. I’m not saying no. I’m just asking for more time to make sure it’s the right thing for me. Please understand that.”
I left him and went out to the dining room to find Darkness and Ghost. I also found Theo and Aran waiting for me in the kitchen, looking expectantly and more than a little hopefully. I put my bags on the floor by the door. I knew what they wanted. “Let’s get started.”
In no time, I set them to cutting up two of the smaller pumpkins that I thought might pass for pie pumpkins. Then I showed them how to cook it until it was tender. Aran mashed it and Theo got out the other ingredients, while I made the crust and rolled it out. We only had two pie plates but enough pumpkin for at least four pies. I made extra crust and froze some, showing them how to roll it. We put the two pies in the oven and settled down to wait.
Danial didn’t come in during the prep work. I couldn’t stand his absence any longer. I told Theo and Aran to watch the pies and went back to the bedroom. He’d showered and was buttoning his shirt when I walked in. He looked as delectable as ever. I stood for a moment watching him. He knew I was there, but he didn’t look up.
“I thought you’d left already.” He spoke nonchalantly.
“I wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye.”
He didn’t answer. I stepped behind him and held him around the waist, my head against his back. He turned in my arms to hold me as well.
“This is hard for me,” he said softly. “I’m not a man who hears no often, especially when it’s something I feel strongly about.”
I’d have laughed but the pain in his voice was too real. “It’s hard for me, too. Don’t rush us.”
“I won’t ask again,” he said testily. He tipped my head up to face him. “I tell you now that you’re always welcome to stay, but I won’t mention it again. When you’re ready, you can tell me.”
I nodded once. Before I could speak, he kissed me passionately. I instantly melted against him. I had to get going; I had a lot to do before my head hit my pillow at home tonight.
Danial kissed me again, his fingers twining into my hair to pull me closer. Ah, screw it; I had a little time.
* * * *
Danial and I lay on the bed amidst a tangle of sheets. Our discarded clothes lay scattered on the floor. I thought ruefully of my shower and my hair that was only half-dry.
Danial sniffed and said, “What is that smell?”
Shit, something was burning! I grabbed my robe and ran into the kitchen.
The pie was fine, but Aran’s hands weren’t. They were bright red and smoking. “Didn’t you use th
e oven mitts?” I yelled at him.
Theo ran water over Aran’s hands. “The problem isn’t that he touched it, but that he didn’t want to drop it.” He wasn’t that upset about the incident. “Grab the other pie; I’ve got this under control.”
I got the other pie out and turned off the oven. It was a little brown, but by no means burned. The problem was the burning flesh smell. I opened a window and turned on the ceiling fan.
“He’ll be fine,” Danial said from the doorway. “Look for yourself.”
As water ran over Aran’s hands, the burned skin sloughed off to reveal new skin underneath. Aran grimaced and rubbed his hands together, and I saw the whole mess detach itself and fall into the sink. He washed and dried his hands, then held them up for me to see they were healed. He took the burned skin from the sink and threw it in the garbage. The only evidence that he’d ever been hurt was the lingering smell.
“It’s true. We can heal most anything,” Theo said.
“Good to know,” I said, for lack of anything else to say.
As I left with the dogs, I saw that a snowstorm had dropped six inches of fresh powder. I’d have to plow when I got home. Joy.
Our trip back home seemed to take less time than getting to Danial’s house. I chalked it up to how anxious I’d felt on Halloween and how much better I felt with Danial beside me now. We turned into my drive, where I saw that someone had plowed it.
Danial noticed my amazement and said, “I hired one of your neighbors to do it.”
I wanted to tell him I didn’t need that, but I was grateful. “Thank you.”
The dogs were happy to be home and raced around in the snow. It had come down thicker there than at Danial’s place. Cia came out to welcome us home. She was happy to see Aran and Theo, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she was tired of cat-sitting or she was close to them.
It was good to be home. My wood stove was working faithfully and Jessica was lying on my armchair by the fire. The dogs settled down after I gave them a treat. Danial and Theo waited by the door. It was Theo who spoke.
“We aren’t going to leave any guards here tonight. Things aren’t hot right now. But I’ll be back tomorrow evening with Cia. Danial would like her to stay with you when he’s not with you.”
I wondered if that was for my peace of mind or his. Either way, I was glad of the company. “Is that okay with her though?”
Danial answered. “She’s content to stay.”
That meant nothing. I gave an inward sigh, wondering if he’d even bothered to ask her or just told her that she was going to do it. I’d have to ask her myself tomorrow.
Theo glanced at Danial and left with a goodbye over his shoulder to me.
“You’d better get going,” I said as I hugged Danial. “You have work to catch up on.”
He kissed my forehead. “You’re right,” he said reluctantly. “Be careful, Sar. And call me every night.”
He kissed me a final time. With one last smile, he walked out and closed the door. I watched him walk to the SUV with Theo and waved to him from the window as they drove away.
I sorted my stack of mail. There was a bunch of bills to pay, and letters from my in-laws and a college friend. I didn’t see any letters from Terian. Had one come and Cia intercepted it? If so, it was probably just as well.
I got the bare necessities done, ate a bowl of canned soup, and went to bed. For the last few days, I’d been getting up in the late afternoon. Tomorrow morning, five a.m., was going to feel like death.
Chapter Seventeen
Five a.m. was worse than death; it was hell, complete with torture and agony. My eyes felt like sand coated them. I was so nauseous from exhaustion that I almost threw up brushing my teeth. Adding to the fun, I got my period. Oddly, its appearance relieved me. I could believe I was a normal woman. Despite going through a month of unbelievable chaos, I was still on schedule.
I staggered through the employee entrance with only a few seconds to spare. Mark was just ahead of me, clocking in.
“How’re you doing?” he said as he punched his timecard. “How was your vacation?” Then he took a good look at me. “You look like shit. What the hell have you been doing?”
I hadn’t thought I looked that bad. “I just partied a little too hard.”
“Did you have a good time?”
“Sure did.”
“That’s all that matters then.” He swaggered off into the shop.
I went to my office, where there was a huge pile on my desk. There was no way I’d get out of there by five. My boss, Curt, came in to touch base and echoed Mark’s sentiments. I repeated my answer. He gave me a concerned look, but that was it. Then he said he needed the blueprints pulled for next week’s jobs, all three hundred of them, and I got down to business.
I worked hard to get everything done. At four, I still had a few hours of work left. I called Theo to let him know I’d be working late and told him he could let himself in with Danial’s spare key. He said he would before he abruptly ended the call. Jerk. What was his problem?
There wasn’t anything I could do about it. I put it out of my mind as I filed blueprints and completed inspection sheets.
By the time it was five, I was alone in the office but not afraid. There were at least five guys still on the shop floor getting in their overtime. At the rate I worked, I’d be done in time to get home before dark.
A noise came from the shadowy cafeteria down the hall. Considering how messy the guys were, I wasn’t too concerned. A lot of mice lived off crumbs and discarded food throughout the plant.
I turned to get a folder for a new part. When I turned back, Terian stood before me. I let out shriek and jumped back, crashing into the wall. I managed to catch myself with my hands. The only injury was to my ego.
“How are you, Sarelle?” he said as he extended a hand to straighten me up. He looked much the same as when I’d seen him last, except his hair was cut shorter and layered to fall over his forehead. The back was so short it was almost shaved. There was stubble on his face, although it could have been dirt, and his clothes were filthy. He smiled good-naturedly at me.
I did a double take. “Your eyes are—”
“Contacts. I should have thought of it years ago. And I can regulate my body temperature when I’m calm and concentrate hard.”
He’d picked a dark brown color for his eyes, yet a little of the natural red bled through, giving his pupils the look of aged cherry wood. I couldn’t believe how much more normal he appeared. He was handsome.
“I look that much better?” he laughed.
Was he trying to flirt? “What are you doing here?”
“Did you get my letters?”
So much for giving Cia the benefit of the doubt. “No. Whatever you wrote to me is probably in Danial’s hands right now.”
“So he knows I’m alive? Spectacular.”
I decided to lay it all on the table. “He knows everything. Theo watched that night I saved you. He saw you take the car—”
“Then they probably know where I’m staying.”
He shrugged. I thought he would be more worried, but I had a lot of trouble understanding his reasoning.
“You shouldn’t have written to me.”
“There were no details in the letters. Just thanks for the car and that I’d been able to locate someone to help me understand my nature.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I was a dhamphir most of my life. There are no dhamphirs in the United States, maybe not anywhere. I’ve read several books, but a lot of the information is conflicting. I just managed the best I could most of my life, figuring my eyes and my skin heat were just things I had to live with.” He paused. “Danial’s insult was the best thing anyone could have said to me. There are more than a few half-demons in this country, and I was able to contact one after I left you. Just the little he’s told me so far has made me feel much better. Best of all, I can be around people now without scaring them.”
“I can learn how to control the evil inside me. I’m already doing it. And I might be able to develop other powers besides strength. This guy out west says he can teach me—”
He was manic—and still holding my hand. I pried it out of his grip. “I have to go.”
“Sarelle,” he said with confusion, “I thought we were friends.”
“You held me prisoner and tried to kill the man I love. I shot you,” I said bluntly. “Friends don’t do that.”
“You saved my life by helping me heal and get away,” he blurted. “Friends do that.”
I wasn’t going to have this conversation with him. “I’m with Danial. I spent the last few days at his house.”
“Are you Oathed to him?” he asked coldly.
Like that was any of his business. “No. But he wants me to move in with him. And I may do it. I’m not getting any younger.”
I didn’t know why I was telling a stranger this. Maybe because I couldn’t tell anyone I was close to. It was too much outside the norm for my friends and family. They were all on the far side of normal anyway, leaning toward strange, if not already there.
“Are you going to oath to him?” Terian asked, his eyes searching mine.
“I don’t know. Not now. Maybe someday. But all I’m going to do right now is go home.”
I gathered my stuff and clocked out. Terian followed me to parking lot. I unlocked my car and got in, thinking he would take the hint. But he got in the passenger side.
“Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?” I asked pointedly.
“I wanted to talk to you, but there was a werefox at your house with you.” He sounded shy, but also perturbed. “Likely, the same one who took my letters.”
“For your information, Cia and the guards are there because of you. Danial had a conniption over me saving you after you tried to kill him. I promised him I wouldn’t be seeing you again.”
“Is that why he hurt you?” he growled as he pushed up my sleeves to reveal the fading bruises on my wrists.
Promise Me Page 22
