It wasn’t that we were ashamed of being together; it was down to the fact that we didn’t want anyone to ruin it for us. Sam was nearly six years older than me, and he had a very colorful past. My father being a cop didn’t exactly make it easy for me to go sharing the news that I was seeing L.A.’s baddest boy. Although, to be fair, in the end that title went to Coop, hands down.
He furrowed his salt-and-pepper brows and bit the inside of his lip. “Come on, sit down. Looks like whatever you have to tell me is a sit-down thing.”
“It probably is.”
We sat opposite each other and his gaze intensified. “So, today was your first day as a senior associate. What happened to make you flee and come see your old man?”
I pulled in a breath, relaxing my shoulders. “Sam.”
“Sam? Sam who? Is that your client?” He held up his palms. Of course he’d ask that because he’d never imagine that I would be talking about the same Sam from the past.
“Dad… I mean Sam, as in Sam Hawthorne.”
In an instant he looked completely taken aback. His face… His dark skin actually turned an ashen, grayish shade and his mouth dropped open.
“What? Sam? You saw Sam, our Sam?”
I nodded. “I did.”
“Jesus, where? Where’d you see him? On the road somewhere? In town?”
“He works for Stephens Inc. He’s the business development manager I was supposed to be liaising with for my new client.”
Again Dad looked surprised, because Sam had never actually done anything business related, and for a company like Stephens Inc. They were investment bankers who, to me, looked for any opportunity to get their hands on more wealth.
Sam was more of a technology guy. He’d become that while serving with the Marines.
Dad just looked at me, looking me over in silence, sharing the same silence that had engulfed me for the last three hours as my brain processed what happened today.
“Did he say where he’d been all these years? Or…anything?”
“I couldn’t stay. I left. I just… I saw him and I left.” I left and I damn well knew I was going to hear all about the way I deserted Bradley, and how he’d want a new lawyer to oversee his case. Marcus had already called me five times and left messages. I didn’t answer the calls, but I listened to the messages.
Always and ever the great guy he was, he showed concern for me first. On his last message, however, he expressed that Bradley had wanted another lawyer.
In this instance it was perhaps a good idea.
Dad reached over and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sweetie, you just left? You didn’t want to know what happened to him?”
A tear ran down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. Throughout the day I’d been careful not to cry. I willed my tears away every time they got close because only God knew how many tears I’d shed over Sam. Only God.
I didn’t want to be that person ever again, where I got so lost I didn’t think I’d ever make my way back.
“It wasn’t that.” This was the part he wouldn’t have understood because he didn’t know the full story. Dad didn’t know how in love I was with Sam.
He didn’t know that my heart broke in so many ways when Sam left me.
To him Sam just left because he felt guilt for Coop’s death. To me, Sam left me. He left me. My fiancée left me, and left me alone to grieve a death I feared my whole life. He left me at a time when I needed him so badly. Dad and I both needed him.
We knew full well what happened to Coop wasn’t his fault. Coop was on a self-destruct mission for years. It took me awhile to accept that, and while I may think it now, I still hadn’t accepted it.
Coop’s death and Sam’s departure at the same time was unbearable.
“I didn’t. The shock sent me here. I don’t know if I want to know.”
Dad looked even more surprised to hear me say that. “Sweet girl, we both know Sam. We knew what he’s like. We all dealt with Coop’s death in our own way. It would have been a lot easier if Sam had just told us he had to leave, even better if he told us where he was going, because Lord knew I looked for that boy everywhere I could. But, that was his way.”
“Dad, he never even came to the funeral.” I shook my head.
Coop’s funeral took place a whole month after he was murdered because of the investigation around it. I felt for certain Sam would have made some presence then, except he didn’t. There was no sign of him.
Dad shrugged. “Olivia, I’ve always taught you not to judge. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. It’s probably why you took such a shine to him in the first place. Of all of us, you never judged him; you seemed to understand what made him tick. I know him leaving hurt you, but there must have been some reason why he felt that was the only thing he could do. I still felt like I let Coop down. I still feel like I failed as a father. That’s on me, though. Sam left and no one would have been able to find him, until he decided when the time was right. I guess that was never since today seemed like a coincidence.”
As usual Dad was right. Always right. I just didn’t know what to do with that wisdom and understanding. Understanding didn’t help, because I was still so bitter.
I still didn’t know how I’d be when I saw him again.
If I saw him again.
Maybe he would leave. Maybe he would leave and that would be it.
Was that what I wanted?
I didn’t know.
* * *
Marcus gave me that look again.
He was trying to hide the worry I knew he felt, and doing a bad job of it. He didn’t have to tell me how much he’d stuck his neck on the line for me yesterday. I knew that too.
Last night I decided that I wasn’t going to allow Sam to ruin things for me. I barely slept after speaking to Jada, and this morning when I woke I was determined to get myself back on track. Rewind yesterday and go with the flow, as Jada had advised.
Sam hadn’t been in my life for nearly ten years, and in that time I’d worked damn hard to get myself to the woman I was today. Bradley Henderson was going to get that person and I was going to handle the case the way I would with any other client. With precision, sophistication, and the professional care Silvermans was known for.
“Marcus, I’m okay. Yesterday will not happen again.” I told him that I felt like I was going to faint and had to rush off suddenly. It was the best idea I had for an excuse. Albeit a lie, but it seemed like he accepted it.
“Olivia, your health comes first. I can assign someone else to the case and maybe you can probably take some leave.” His eyes twinkled as he offered up a smile.
The kind that should have wooed me. The kind Jada would place emphasis on because it showed of one of his finest assets: a heartwarming smile that could make a girl weak kneed.
A girl who should have been me. I was trying to feel the way I was supposed to but it wasn’t happening. I’d tried the minute I stepped into Marcus’ office this morning and now—half an hour later as we stood here talking. No doubt that had to do with Sam, but I couldn’t deal with that now.
“I don’t need leave. I think it was nerves yesterday,” I lied.
“You get nerves, Miss Lady? I’m surprised with that go-get-’em attitude you normally exude.” He laughed and leaned back in his chair.
I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear. “You know I get nerves. It’s because the case matters to me. A lot. I feel like everything I do from now on has to hit all the right notes.” That part was true.
I did feel like that. I was in a good position, whereby it could definitely be onwards and upwards if I wanted it to be. It was what I called the ladder. I’d basically just started climbing up that ladder to success and I wanted that success here.
“I can’t dispute that, but heed some advice. Better to call in sick and reschedule, than practically flee in the face of someone like Bradley Henderson. Of course that’s not coming directly from me, but you understand my meaning.”
“I do, and I’m really sorry. I know I must have embarrassed you. I didn’t want to do that.”
He held up his hands. “Never think that. It’s just that Bradley is difficult at the best of times. He’s not exactly fond of this idea to merge with Stephens and that makes him testy.”
That piqued my interest because I was never given the back story on why Bradley even wanted this merge. I didn’t think filthy rich guys like him needed to merge.
“Marcus, if I may ask something, without breaching any client confidentiality, can I ask why this merge has suddenly come about?”
Marcus chuckled. “I’ll give you some insight on the basis of maybe knowing a little more about your client’s circumstances may help you with your case.”
“Thank you. I guess I’m just curious.”
“His circumstances have changed drastically over the last six months. He lost a lot of money after it was discovered that one of his employees had embezzled close to a billion dollars and it was never recovered.”
So that was the back story. As much as I’d heard bad things about Bradley, I wouldn’t have wished for him to lose money that way. Particularly since I knew he hadn’t been handed his wealth on a silver platter like most of the clients we dealt with. Bradley had made his money off his own back. Straight out of college he’d developed his software company, creating mobile apps and games.
Then he evolved from there. The man was a prick, but he worked hard.
“It’s sad he lost so much. I guess Stephens was his answer.” I was going to try and covertly ask a little more about Sam. “Was there no other company? It’s just that I figured he’d probably want to merge with another tech company, not investments.”
“I hear you. Stephens, however, was the only one willing to offer up the money required to continue his research and keep everything as it is. They even allowed him to keep his company name. Olivia, I’m sure you know that with this merge he may lose rights to a lot of his inventions, so I’m going to ask you to either do what you can to reason with Stephens, or set out some terms they can both agree to.”
I nodded in agreement. “Okay. I got this.”
While I didn’t learn much about Sam, more knowledge added to my strategy.
My strategy that I was still working around.
“You got this.” He grinned, showing off the dimple in his left cheek. “I’m thinking, though, that maybe I’ll leave you alone tonight and reschedule dinner.”
Dinner. God… I almost forgot.
No, not almost. I actually did forget.
“Dinner, no, you don’t have to do that. I’m good to go.” I wasn’t, but I didn’t want him to feel like I was trying to find a way out and him offering it was a way out.
“That’s great to hear, but I want the you that’s going to be free of the stresses of the job.”
I understood and I wanted that too. “Okay, how about tomorrow, then?”
He gave me a curt nod. “I’m happy with tomorrow.”
Good, this was good. I was setting a date with a good man who’d never let me down. Even if we had no chemistry this was good for me. Maybe chemistry would come.
“Then it’s a date.” I stood to go. This was definitely like a replay of yesterday with a one-hour difference. Except I was with Marcus and not Jada. The meeting was in ten minutes.
“It’s a date. Let me know if you need me.”
I nodded with appreciation. “Thank you. I promise I will.”
With that, I left and made my way to the boardroom.
Elspeth wasn’t at her desk so I didn’t have the heads up I got yesterday.
I didn’t have to wait too long to know what would happen next, however, because as I opened the door to the boardroom my gaze landed on Sam.
Just like yesterday, he stood by the window looking out at the L.A. scenery of skyscrapers around us. He turned to face me and, just like yesterday, emotions flooded me. Flooded my heart and my soul.
Chapter 4
Olivia
“Morning.” He spoke first.
“Good morning,” I answered.
I walked in and closed the door behind me.
So far it was only my heart that was affected as it galloped a hundred miles an hour. The rest of me was functional.
He appeared more at ease today, and more so since I answered. As if he thought things were okay. They were so far from it but business was business. That was what I was here for.
I moved to where I’d be sitting and put my notebook and pen down. He continued to watch me as I lowered into my chair, then he joined me, sitting in the chair to my left. For me, it was too close.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked.
I tilted my head to the side and regarded him with narrowed eyes. “I represent Bradley so I can’t really talk to you about this matter without him. It would be wrong.”
“I don’t want to talk to you about Bradley.”
I knew that, but I really didn’t want to venture down any form of memory lane with him today. His eyes bore into me and I wished he wouldn’t look at me the way he did. Like he used to.
He always used to look at me different to anyone else. It was what made me take that leap of faith and decide to show him how I felt. Dad always told me that eyes were windows to your soul. It was how he’d fallen for my mom. He said her eyes gave her away. My mom died of leukemia when I was nine so I didn’t remember much, but I remembered how she used to look at me like she loved me.
Sam used to look at me like he loved me. The look he gave me now was too similar for my liking, and it was confusing.
“We don’t have anything to talk about,” I informed him.
“Olivia—”
“That’s Miss St. Claire, or Councilor St. Claire. Either is acceptable.”
He frowned and pressed his lips together. “Miss St. Claire, I think it’s best for us to talk about things that may be important so that it takes the tension away.”
“Mr. Hawthorne, I’m sorry you feel that way, but once again I must remind you that I represent Mr. Henderson, and not yourself. Any tension you feel is not to be discussed with me.”
“Olivia, this is crazy.” He straightened up and stared at me long and hard.
“Sam, I’m warning you. Don’t test me. If you do, I’ll just get someone else to take over.”
“Why didn’t you? I’m amazed you came back.”
“I’m a senior associate here and this is my first case. It’s just unfortunate that you’re here too.”
“Unfortunate? It’s unfortunate because I want to talk to you about what happened?” he challenged.
I sighed with complete frustration. “Nothing happened. You left. End of story. People leave their fiancées all the time. If there was something you had to say to me of any importance it would have been said long ago. Not now. Not in this coincidental meeting of ours. So please leave me be.”
I would have never spoken to him like that before, but the years had hardened me. That shy, naïve romantic I was at twenty-one didn’t live here anymore.
He went to answer me, but the door opened and Bradley came in.
Bradley came in with that smug expression on his face, looking me over with that same assessing look he’d given me yesterday.
It was fine. I could handle him.
“Good morning, Mr. Henderson. I apologize for yesterday.” I thought I should begin with an apology just to avert any comments he’d throw my way. It didn’t look like it was going to work, though. He answered by curling his lips up into a scowl.
“I sincerely hope it won’t be a regular occurrence. I’m a very busy man.”
“I can assure you it won’t, and I’m as eager as you are to get these negotiations underway.”
I was eager for more than one reason.
He walked over and sat to my right so he was next to me and opposite Sam. From the look he gave Sam I could tell in an instant that he wasn’t too keen on him.
“Let’s begin.” Bradley
flicked his wrist and held his hand out.
“I thought we could start out by expressing what concerns you might have and Mr. Hawthorn could provide his responses.”
Bradley lowered his brows and sighed. “This? This is what we’re going to talk about? These people are trying to take everything from me and you want to talk about my concerns.”
“Mr. Henderson, talking things through can often get to the bottom of things in a more efficient manner. If you feel like everything is being taken from you and you’re not happy, then this merger is a bad idea.” I knew that hit him deep because, thanks to my talk with Marcus, I knew Bradley needed this agreement with Stephens Inc. If he was as desperate as I thought, he’d play by my rules.
“Maybe it is a bad idea,” Sam offered to my surprise. “The very fact that we’re here lends to the premise that it’s a bad idea.”
“It’s within my rights to seek legal advice on something this big. This is my livelihood,” Bradley answered him.
“You’ve not agreed to any of our terms,” Sam pointed out.
“The terms are unreasonable.”
“Why?” I cut in. “Let’s talk about why.”
He rolled his sleeves up his thick forearms. “My trade secrets. Stephens wants ownership of my current projects and projects in plans. That is unfair if the agreement was for me to retain my company as it is now.”
“It’s a conglomeration agreement. We work investments; clearly we were attracted to your business because of the idea of venturing into a new market.”
“Stephens Inc. invests in a number of competitors. What’s to stop you from providing access to my intellectual property?”
“I think we need to focus on this aspect a little more,” I cut in again, seeing a way that I could work this to my advantage.
“It’s the only thing I’m worried about,” Bradley replied. “They get access to my creations and I get nothing.”
“What about this? An agreement that focuses on profits gained rather than actual inventions, current or in progress.” I looked to Sam. “The monetary value should really be the concern, not so much the products of the company.”
Dear Olivia Page 3
