Warm hands brushed over my shoulders. The warmth reached out to my depressed state and sparked something in my soul.
I turned instantly, facing Sam.
We just looked at each other in silence. Silence that grew tight with tension and anticipation. Prolonged anticipation that was almost unbearable while the hot tears continued to roll down my cheeks.
The tension and anticipation was there, along with that thing that always sparked between us. It was something I couldn’t deny, not ever, because it was always so strong I could touch it. Now it intensified with the magnetism of his stare.
He reached out and took my face, holding it gently. The tenderness of his touch made my skin tingle from the warm shiver it sent through my body.
“Don’t cry.” He breathed. His eyes brimmed with the same tenderness he touched me with.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t cry. It’s so stupid.”
He shook his head. “Not stupid. You know me. I wouldn’t do something like this unless if I really wanted to. It’ll give me a chance to do some good for a change. I’ve never done that before.” The eagerness shone in his eyes as he spoke, and it was evident that he was passionate about his decision.
I tried to bite back the tears. “You’ll be great.”
“I’ll try. I’ll try because a very long time ago the most beautiful girl in the world believed in me. She believed I could be more than the juvenile delinquent I was, and not that long ago she gave me the best advice ever.”
I stood there, tongue tied, thrown off guard from his words.
Was he talking about me?
I swallowed hard as curiosity got the better of me. “What did she say?”
“You… You said, ‘just try to not be bad,’” he said, answering both of my questions: the question I asked and the one I wanted to ask but didn’t.
“Me,” I said more to myself than him as the blood siphoned from my face.
“You. And the best that I can do is promise you I’ll be careful. I’ll do some good and be careful while at it. Maybe then I’ll be an ounce of the person you deserve.”
My body stiffened as shock flew through me. I wasn’t sure I heard him right.
“What?”
“Every time you look at me, every time you’ve looked at me since you’ve known me, it’s with this admiration. The way someone would look at a person who they truly admired because they did great things. Even when I was at my worst and when I was ready to give up on myself because all that existed in my world was stealing my next car. You still looked at me like I meant something. Like I was important. I want to be that guy and do something that matters, use my skills, whatever they are, to save people. I want to be that guy you see.” The rich timbre of his voice, deep and sensual, sent a ripple of awareness through me and I couldn’t have felt prouder of him.
I reached for him, too, running my finger over the stubble on his chin. The amber glow from the solar panels on the house was just bright enough for me to see the blue of his eyes. In this light they reminded me of the sky at twilight. Not twilight just before sunset. It was more of twilight before dusk. The moment just before the sun kissed the sky with its last light.
“You were always that guy, Sam.”
His mouth curved into a soft smile, revealing the dimples in his cheeks. “To you, but not yet for you, or me.”
He continued to stare at me, holding me in place with the intensity of his eyes and the strength of his words. With his hands cupping my face, and mine against his jaw, he looked at me like he was trying to decide something. When his eyes darkened with what I could only describe as desire, a quiver surged through my veins and my heart took a perilous leap.
Our eyes stayed locked in the moment, and the powerful attraction that flowed between us took over. It was impossible to resist or deny. It pulled us together, and when he lowered to me, I moved to him too. As his lips brushed over mine, my knees weakened and I crumbled against him. I swore, had he not been holding me up, I would have fallen over.
He pulled me closer, smoothing his fingers to the back of my head while he covered my mouth with his, giving me the kiss I’d fantasized about for practically my whole life when I thought of kissing him. And when I dreamed of how my first kiss would be.
Earth shattering. That was what it was. Earth shattering and full of passion, and yet possessive and greedy. It sent a current of electricity right through my body, igniting every single nerve and fiber in my being. His mouth worked magic on me and he angled my face to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue inside my mouth. Tasting me.
We kissed, tasting each other within the velvet darkness, and I wished this could be our forever.
This moment, forever.
“Die Hard,” a voice cried and we jumped apart, breathless.
My lips were on fire and my body weak.
“Die Hard,” cried the voice again. It was Coop. “Are you guys out here?”
It sounded like he was on the terrace.
“Liv, if you’re out here, I’m sorry. I reckon Sam will be like John McClane in Die Hard, or I guess like Bruce Willis in any film he’s in. He’d be the hero. The kind of guy who’d always be able to get himself out of anything and come back to us. Sam, if you’re listening… I guess I’m freaking because I’ll miss you. I’ll miss you, bro.”
While Sam still held me, he glanced over his shoulder.
The look in his eyes was something I’d never forget. It was one of deep appreciation.
“I’ll miss you too, Coop,” he said, but not loud enough for him to hear.
He looked back to me, smiled, and lowered back down to reclaim my lips.
Chapter 14
Sam
Present day…
It was my phone that woke me up. I couldn’t believe that I’d completely crashed out. Crashed out and crashed down.
The phone rang and I jumped with a start right out of a dream. A dream about her. Dreams of my girl.
It wasn’t until I answered the phone and woke up properly that I remembered for the billionth time that she wasn’t mine.
The rude awakening came when I looked around and realized she’d gone.
“Hey man, you still there?” Xavier asked. His voice brought me back.
“Yeah, I’m here.” I ran my hand over my beard and frowned.
I hadn’t gotten in touch with the crew yesterday. Of course he’d be calling.
“We’ve been sitting on edge since yesterday. Please tell me the plan didn’t go to shit.”
“No, better than expected. I just got tied up. Bradley has the chip at his house. He has it locked up in the basement. Can you believe it?”
“You’re shitting me. The dude has it in his house?” Xavier gasped then laughed.
“In his house just sitting there, but in a secure facility.”
“Norton’s gonna be here in an hour. Can you get here?”
Shit. I wanted to find Olivia. I wanted to go see her. Seeing her was more important than meeting with the guys.
Last night wasn’t enough. It rekindled all that I felt for her. Everything.
I didn’t want forgiveness for Coop’s death. In my head it was my fault. I would always flounder in the tumult of guilt. The depth would hold onto my soul like a steel weight pulling me under, but her words did something to my tired soul.
They set me free on some level. The parts of me that told me she’d blame me.
She didn’t. Hearing it meant everything to me. It was more effective than when Joe said it. Last night also made me realize something else.
My relationship with Olivia existed outside of Coop’s death. I’d seen the two as synonymous. Because I thought I caused one thing to happen, I believed I couldn’t have the other.
The two things were separate. Coop got himself mixed up with the mafia. The worst kind of people ever. Not even the kind that lay low, either. Coop was an associate for one of the most infamous drug trafficking criminals. The whole thing was so bad and so corrupt that no one had been charged
with his death. I had my part to play. The part that would always and forever be in my mind, but it had nothing to do with Olivia.
I had to at least explore what last night meant.
“Can you guys meet without me?” I had to try. This was me separating the goal of my mission to fulfill another. “I can come by later.”
Last night could be one of those things that just happened and would never be again, but I didn’t want that. There was also this secret mission of mine that I was hiding that made me feel like a fraud to her, but I couldn’t allow it to stop me.
“You know we can’t, bro.” Xavier chuckled. “The boss wants you. Plus, Sam, you’re the one who’s running this show. On this ride, we’re just tagging along. What are we gonna say to him? He wants a plan. I don’t need to remind you of what’s at stake.”
I released a sigh of frustration.
“Okay.” I guess I had to be there, and he was right. “I’ll be there in forty minutes.”
“Cool.”
“Xavier, something weird happened at the meeting yesterday.” I thought I’d mention my concerns now since I didn’t particularly want to discuss it in front of Norton until I knew more.
“What happened?”
“Bradley told me about the chip and showed it to me. That’s how I know it’s in his house. He showed it to me.”
“That makes no sense. Why would he show it to you if he stole it? It’s supposed to be secret.”
“Exactly. Doesn’t make any sense at all. Then he was talking about it like he was gonna market the thing to protect companies from the same thing that happened to him. He didn’t sound anything like the threat we’d been given the brief on.”
“I’m not sure what to make of that. Sam, do me a favor. Don’t mention any of that when you see Norton.”
I bit the inside of my lip. This was odd too. Xavier wasn’t the hush hush type of guy. He got things out in the open.
“Okay, why though? It seems off, Xavier. I’m not trying to find excuses, but it seems off.”
“I think maybe there’s some questions we shouldn’t ask.”
Mixed feelings surged through me. If he was hoping that would stop me from asking more questions, it didn’t. I had more questions. His answer tended to lend to the possibility that there really was more at work here.
“Just stick to the plan,” he added.
“Okay. Stick to the plan. Copy that.”
“See you in a bit, man.” He hung up.
In all the time that I’d worked with the crew, I’d never had cause to be suspicious of anything or any of the members. It could be nothing. It could just be that whatever I wasn’t supposed to know was classified and well above my pay grade.
It didn’t feel that way, though. I tended to know when that was the case.
I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly twelve. It was late in the day. I hoped Olivia didn’t think I thought last night was some one night stand, because nothing was truer than how much I wanted her.
I wanted her, and this time I was determined to get her back.
I didn’t know how I was going to do it yet.
To me, last night had to be a start.
* * *
I looked at the serious expressions set deep on the men in the room.
All were focused as I spoke.
We met in the large meeting room on the upper level of the warehouse. It was the first time we’d met like this since getting here. I guess, too, that it was the first time that we’d met like this and had something laid out as to what we needed to do as a unit. Norton had taken care of everything else, so when I got to Silvermans on Monday I literally just stepped into my role as business development manager.
“What we need is a window. A window of an hour tops when we know Bradley won’t be at home. I get in, replace the chip with a dupe and get out.”
Norton nodded his gray head and looked impressed. Honestly, the man had given me an uncomfortable feeling right off the bat, but that was just me, and it was worse now since I thought something was amiss.
“How soon can we get this together?” he asked.
“This needs to be wrapped up as soon as possible,” Xavier cut in before I could answer. He flashed Norton a look and he nodded. Looked like they’d discussed something more, or something else prior to my arrival.
“I need time to track Bradley’s movements.” It would also give me my own window to dig a little deeper. “It doesn’t seem all that hard though. I’ll come in over the weekend and disable his main security system that will allow me to access to the basement lab to remove the security from there too. By Monday I’m sure we can truly wrap this up.”
“Fantastic.” Norton clapped his hands once and stood up. “Let’s do this, guys.”
I nodded.
Norton, Xavier and Oz left the room. Patrick stayed behind. We hadn’t spoken in days and I was sure he was curious to find out if anything happened between Olivia and me.
He pushed his chair back, scraping the metal legs against the concrete floor, and stood up. With a smirk on his face, he came over to me and sat on the edge of the desk.
“You know I’m gonna grill you, right, man?” He chuckled and ran his hand over his goatee.
I pulled in a steady breath. “I suppose you are, but I need to get going.”
“Two minutes.” He put up two fingers.
“Alright, two minutes.”
“You go see her?”
“Yes and no. It just worked out that we both saw each other.”
“Right, and did you get reacquainted?” A cunning smile lit up his face.
“Patrick, you know me.” Unlike the others, I was not the sex-talk type. Maybe in my younger days. Definitely not now, and especially not about last night.
“Silent as a tree,” he joked.
That probably summed me up. Since Coop, I didn’t share my feelings much with anyone, and I didn’t get close, either. We all worked as a unit, trusted each other, and I guess we were all friends, but there was a line with me that I didn’t allow anyone to cross.
“So, what are you going to do?” he asked.
I shook my head. “About what?”
“Her.” He smirked. “Seeing her wasn’t part of the plan. It just happened, and as soon as we’re done we’re gone. On to the next mission, which I can’t wait for. L.A.‘s too fast paced for me.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Don’t really have much time.” His expression grew serious. “Sam, our jobs…our line of work is the kind where you can’t really have much of a relationship. We’re off grid. For some of us, like moi, love ’em and leave ’em is fine. I’m not commitment guy. And God knows I love women far too much to think of settling with one. I sound like an ass, but that’s me. I know that’s not you, though.”
My gaze fell to the ground. Our jobs were what you called selfish. Designed for loners, guys who indeed had no desire for commitment. We didn’t exist, we didn’t have a name, and we just went from one job to the next, getting paid crazy amounts of money to remain exactly that. Nonexistent. It seemed fitting for me years ago when I joined up. I wanted to be nonexistent.
I didn’t think there would come a time when I’d have to question my choice, and I certainly never thought I’d be considering questioning my choices after one night with Olivia.
“I’m well aware of all that, Patrick.”
“Just making sure, and checking you know what you’re doing. I guess if she was someone else, someone who didn’t matter so much, there wouldn’t be any concern. Old flames are a whole other category. Different stories, especially ones like yours since you didn’t really break up.”
“No, we didn’t. But, me leaving was enough to end us.”
“From where I’m sitting, doesn’t look like you ended.” He stood and rested a hand on my shoulder. “Just be careful, okay?”
I nodded.
The job was very much on my mind. Ignoring that fact wou
ld be like ignoring that your arm was falling off.
One step at a time, though. One thing at a time. Then I’d know what to do.
I went to the first place I figured Olivia would be. Silvermans. I was heading to the main entrance when I saw her in the coffee shop next to the building. She was sitting with Jada, who looked exactly as glamorous as she did eight years ago.
I pushed the glass door open and went inside. Jada saw me before Olivia did and leaned closer to whisper something.
Olivia turned and looked at me with wide eyes. The deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression. The deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression from the shock of seeing me, but there was something else there. Something in her eyes. It was that good old admiration I always clung onto.
That was my ticket in. She may have been surprised to see me, but I knew she was glad I came.
I’d work with that and see how far I’d get.
Chapter 15
Olivia
We drove back to Sam’s place.
I went with him.
Jada’s advice again. That was all she said when she saw him.
“He’s here, go with him.”
The funny thing was I didn’t need the prompt.
I’d turned around in my chair at the coffee house and when I saw him my heart soared. I would have gone with him anyway. So, me being here wasn’t Jada’s doing. It was mine.
It was all mine.
We drove there in silence, but not the awkward kind. It was more the sort of contemplative and appreciative type where we enjoyed the fact of being near each other.
The mood changed, though, when we arrived. One of us had to say something but neither of us had.
I walked over to his floor-to-ceiling glass windows and gazed out to the beautiful medley of turquoise-and-green waves that rippled across the sea. It was a pretty picture with the golden sand gracing the shore and the palm trees dotting the shoreline. Almost made me think I was on an exotic island somewhere. Somewhere we could get lost in each other.
Sam walked up behind me, brushed his fingers across my waist and bent his head to plant a kiss on my neck. It made me smile. It made me smile and feel giddy.
Dear Olivia Page 12
