After I'd agreed to go, Dani pulled me aside.
“Dylan will be there.”
“That's what I'm afraid of,” I said.
“Trust me.”
I was starting to hate that phrase, but despite my reservations I dressed to look my best and drove out to the beach. Dani had taken charge of all of my matchmaking notes, but she wouldn't give me a clue what she had planned. Whatever she was up to was only going to make things worse, of that I had no doubt. So why was I doing this to myself when I could have been safely at home reading or binge watching Netflix? At that point all I really wanted to do was crawl into my bed, pull the covers under my head, and not come out again until summer vacation.
At least it was cozily warm inside Ashton's house. I shed my coat and found my friends gathered in the den playing a charades game Dani had gotten for Christmas. When Delaney saw me she jumped to her feet in excitement.
“Allie! Look who's here!”
The girl sitting beside her waved at me.
“Nicole? What are you doing here?”
Nicole had been Laney's next door neighbor and best friend since kindergarten, until her family had moved away at the end of our sophomore year. She grinned happily.
“Dad got transferred back here. They decided they couldn't live without him.”
I bent and hugged her. “I'm glad you're back. We've missed you.”
“It's good to be home and starting off the new year with my friends.”
I sat down on her other side and joined in the game, but I wasn't really feeling it. I found myself watching Laney and Walker, Molly and Quinn, and Dani and Ashton as they teased and flirted with each other. Why couldn't I find that? However happy I was for them, I couldn't help but feel down as I reflected on all of the guys who had walked away from me without a word. And now there was Dylan, who had hit me far worse than my obsession over Seth because I'd never spent any time with Seth. Plus Seth had never kissed me. That kiss had finished the job of stealing my heart which Dylan had begun that night at Caroline's, and it tore me up that he didn't know and feel the same way. Even if Dani pulled off some kind of a miracle I knew it wouldn't last, because he didn't trust me. Without trust, eventually he'd leave like everyone else.
A cold ache pierced my heart just thinking about that, but what if Molly was right? What if it was worth taking the chance? I doubted that I'd ever get to find out, though. As far as I could tell he wasn't even at Ashton's. I hadn't seen him anywhere when I'd come in. I craned my neck to see if he'd snuck in while I was distracted by the game.
Dani caught me looking and leaned over. “He'll be here,” she murmured into my ear.
“Frankly I'd be just as happy if he didn't show.”
“Will you please just trust me and stop being so freakin' pessimistic?”
“Sorry. I just go by what I'm used to. You get burned enough and it's hard to stay optimistic, you know?”
“I know. But it will work out.”
“What if it doesn't?”
“There are other guys out there, Allie.”
She was right, of course, but I wasn't interested in any of them. I only cared about Dylan, with his bright blue eyes and his smile that made me feel warm all over and his kiss that left me breathless and flying. This new obsession was so much worse than the one I'd nurtured for Seth. It made me wish I could go back to the simpler days, the easier days, before we'd kissed. At the same time I never would have given up that kiss, not for anything. I never wanted to forget that one brief moment of shining joy and excitement that dimmed every other moment of my life in comparison.
An hour passed as we continued playing games and talked about our hopes and expectations for the new year, and I grew more anxious with each passing minute. I wasn't sure whether it was because I was afraid Dylan wouldn't show up or because I was afraid he would. I'd almost given up any thought of seeing him when a sharp, chill gust of wind from the front of the house scattered the game pieces on the table and announced a new arrival.
Dylan swept in, rubbing his hands together. “Sorry about that.”
My eyes flew to him, and my heart froze as though the outside air had penetrated to its lowest depths. He looked so incredibly hot in jeans and a navy sweater that made his eyes even more impossibly blue that I could hardly bear to look at him. What really made my heart twist in agony, though, was the tiny beauty with green eyes and black hair who was clutching his arm. Kylie Croft was a sophomore and she had been at the very bottom of my list of matchmaking prospects for Dylan. What was she doing here with him?
I jerked my head around to stare at Dani, who was looking oddly pleased with herself. She caught my eye and gave me a reassuring wink. She had planned this! What had she been thinking?
We shifted to make room for the newcomers to join us, and when I ended up next to Kylie a cold, sick lump settled in my stomach. Next to her petite loveliness I looked like a gawky cow—talk about adding insult to injury! I tried to keep up the appearance of enjoying myself, but all I really wanted to do was get out of there. As the current round of our card game ended I hopped up.
“Start without me,” I told them. “I need to get something to drink.”
I avoided looking at Dylan as I fled to the kitchen, where I struggled to clutch together the ragged pieces of my heart. Dani followed close on my heels.
“Kylie Croft?” I demanded. “Seriously, Dani?”
“I know what I'm doing. She's all wrong for him, and when he compares the two of you he'll see how right you are for him.”
My voice rose to a shrill squeak. “Are you crazy? The only thing he's going to see when he compares the two of us is how much of a cow I am next to her! How does that help me?”
Dani kept her voice low and reasonable. “He's going to realize he's making a mistake and the next thing you know you two will be having your Happily Ever After.”
I shook my head. “You really are insane.”
“Watch and learn, my young apprentice.”
I went back to the living room with her and watched Dylan and Kylie out of the corner of my eye, but nothing I saw made me feel any better about the situation. Kylie glued herself to Dylan, and they were laughing together and flirting hard as we started a new game. As best I could tell, Dylan never so much as glanced my way. How was he supposed to compare us if he never looked at me? If anything, the two of them acted like soulmates or something.
The sick feeling in my stomach swelled as my insides twisted, and I wanted to wring Dani's neck. She was supposed to be the matchmaking queen. Well, apparently she was even better at it than she thought, because even couples she didn't want to work out did. She seemed put out as well, which didn't improve my peace of mind any. I gave up—I couldn't look at them anymore. I was afraid my eyes would give my feelings away and expose my pain to everyone there.
Some of my friends got tired of the games and pulled up Youtube on Ashton's TV. Dani and Laney dragged their boyfriends to their feet and started to dance. Kylie turned to Dylan with a seductive smile.
“Shall we?” she asked.
He stood up and held out his hand to her. “You guys are going to have to finish without us,” Dylan told us over his shoulder.
Quinn dragged Molly away, and I was left alone at the table. I dropped my cards and stared at my hands. This was turning into a total nightmare. I knew I should have stayed home. I was never going to let my friends talk me into coming to something like this again. I'd just be a hermit and stay away from parties and boys from now on. I was feeling more sorry for myself than I think I ever had when someone sat down beside me.
“You look like someone shot your dog,” Walker said.
“I'm fine. Just a little tired is all.”
“Tired of watching Kylie hanging all over Dylan?”
I started to deny it then shrugged. What was the use?
“Is it that obvious?”
“I spent the last few months watching Molly pining over Quinn, and Dani over Ashton. I'm kin
d of an expert at pining girls.”
I snorted a laugh. “You've been watching girls pining over you since middle school, Mr. Bad Boy.”
“True. But since I handed in my player card I only have to deal with the ones after other guys. Which is actually kind of nice for a change.”
“It isn't so nice for us.”
“You guys worry about it too much. Despite Dani's claims, you can't make it happen. You just have to wait for it, and trust me, when it's there and it hits you'll know it. And then there won't be any getting away from it.”
“But what if only one of you feels it? Like I did with Seth?”
Walker gave me a skeptical look. “Are you seriously going to tell me that the way you felt about Seth is anything close to what you feel for Dylan?”
“Nooooo...”
“There you go. Hang in there and don't eat yourself alive worrying about it. If it's meant to be, it will work out.”
“Thanks, Walker.”
“It's what I'm here for. Except Laney is back and wants to dance some more. Chin up, Allie.”
I smiled after him, feeling a little bit better. He was such a great guy. Laney was so lucky. I was happy for her and jealous at the same time. I just hoped that Walker and Dani were right and it would work out for me someday.
By then it was getting close to midnight, so Ashton turned the music off and switched the TV over to a show doing the countdown. We all gathered around to watch, and I listened to the others discussing their New Year's resolutions. I silently resolved to stay away from boys for the year. It wasn't worth the heartache—at least not for me. I wasn't sure why it seemed to work out so well for all of my friends. I could only look at Dylan and wish I was starting out this new year with a kiss like the one we shared under the mistletoe.
I had to laugh at myself for that, though. So much for my New Year's resolution! It was broken before the new year had even started.
Only a minute was left on the clock, and my friends were all holding onto their boyfriends in anticipation of the big moment. Even in a room full of people I managed to feel totally alone. The seconds ticked away, one by one, until it was all over.
“Happy New Year!” the announcer on television yelled.
Everyone in the room echoed, “Happy New Year!”
As I watched, Kylie threw her arms around Dylan and kissed him with everything she had.
I turned away, wondering how long you could live with a broken heart. He wasn't mine, and I knew he wasn't interested. It shouldn't have meant anything. So why did it feel like the whole world was ending?
Chapter Nine
I went home right after that, pleading a headache. I doubt it fooled anyone, though. About the time I crawled into bed, just wanting it all to be over, Dannika texted me.
Dannika: I'm sorry :(
Me: It's okay. Don't worry about it
Dannika: I don't understand what went wrong
Dannika: He should have been ready to gnaw his own arm off to get away from her after five minutes
Me: Well, she is awfully cute
Dannika: So are you!
Dannika: I totally expected him to ditch her and kiss YOU at midnight
Me: But instead I turned into a pumpkin
Dannika: Stop that! Don't get discouraged
Dannika: It won't last, and then we can try something else
Me: Just let it go, Dani
Dannika: But I know him! You guys are perfect for each other. You can't just give up
Me: I already have
Me: Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I'm just really tired right now
Dannika: I understand. Get a good night's sleep and you'll feel better
Me: No doubt. Nite
Dannika: Nite
For a long time I lay there in the dark staring up at the ceiling, reliving Dylan and Kylie's kiss. Happy Freakin' New Year.
I woke up in a lousy mood that even a heavy dose of coffee couldn't cure. While I drank it, I stared out the window at the gray, dismal day that was a reflection of my heart. I had to shake this mood, because I hated sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
Whenever I started feeling down on myself I made it a habit to hit the gym. It was a positive way to deal with unhealthy emotions, and the endorphin rush after a good workout usually left me feeling better. I hadn't been this low in a long time—not since the beginning of the past summer when a couple of jerks at the beach had made nasty comments about how I looked in a bikini. That had been bad, but this was far worse. Probably because rejection by a guy I knew and really liked was bound to hurt more than insults by random losers I didn't know. I threw on my gym clothes and headed out into the icy drizzle, determined to exercise myself to the point where I couldn't think anymore.
I ran for an hour on the treadmill while listening to music and trying to clear my head of all the dark thoughts pressing in on me. I pushed myself harder than usual until my heart was pounding and I was pouring sweat. When the timer beeped I shut the treadmill down. It was time for a break and some water. I pulled out my earbuds and reached for my towel.
“Hi, Allison.”
I turned slowly. Seth stood behind me in a tight, black tank top that looked like it had been spray painted onto the taut muscles of his torso. It set off his broad shoulders, and his toned arms gleamed in the bright fluorescent lights. When he smiled at me I caught a gleam of interest in his eyes that had never been there before. It was exactly the way I'd dreamed of him looking at me ever since I'd first started crushing on him. And now I felt... Nothing. He might as well have been a stranger passing on the street. I wiped the sweat off of my face and smiled back, feeling hollow inside. I should have felt something, shouldn't I?
“Hi,” I said.
He laughed. “Back to monosyllables?”
“No. Just catching my breath.”
“I didn't realize you went to this gym.”
I stared at him in disbelief. I'd been going here for six months and he hadn't noticed? Granted we usually weren't there at the same time, but I'd seen him more than once. Yet another kick to my already bruised ego.
“I've been coming for a while. I like working out.”
He looked me up and down with a lopsided smile. “It shows.”
I blushed under the intensity of his gaze. “Thanks. Same for you.”
“Got to do something. I spend too much time either sitting in school or in my truck delivering pizzas. And eating pizzas.”
We both laughed at that, even though it wasn't much of a joke.
“So... Are you busy tomorrow night?” he asked.
My brain tried to lock up. This couldn't be happening. Not now. I said the first thing that came to mind in an effort to buy time.
“Don't you have a girlfriend?”
Seth shrugged. “We went out a few times, but she's not my girlfriend.”
I gave him a hard look. “Does she know that?”
“We're not a thing, Allison. I haven't even seen her since before Christmas. I think she's interested in one of the football players.”
“Seems to be the thing these days.”
“I don't see you with any of them.”
“My friends already snatched up all the good ones.”
A sly grin crept across his lips. “Fair enough. But you still haven't answered my question.”
“No, I'm not busy tomorrow night.”
“Would you like to be? I'd love to take you out. Grab some dinner. Anything but pizza.”
“Yeah, I can see where that would get old for you.”
“Give me your number and I'll text you and we can decide on a time and place.”
He handed me his phone and I typed in my number. I gave it back and he looked me in the eyes and typed in a text. When my phone dinged he winked.
“Just checking.”
I couldn't help but smile. “Did you really think I'd give you a fake number?”
“If you were anyone else I'd say no, but something about you is differ
ent lately.”
“I'm not sure what you mean.”
“I'm not exactly sure, either,” he admitted, “but something has changed. Anyway, I'll text you later. Enjoy the rest of your workout.”
I watched him walk away, totally confused and conflicted. Why had he done it? And why had I accepted? A few weeks ago I would have spontaneously combusted from excitement at the idea of going out with Seth. Today I only felt dread. I didn't want to go out with him, which was something I never would have imagined myself saying. But it was true. I didn't want to go out with anyone except Dylan. I didn't want anyone else looking at me that way. I wished I could get out of it, but I'd already agreed. I'd have to go through with it, but that would be the end of my involvement with him. Even if I couldn't have Dylan, I no longer wanted Seth.
I joined Molly and Dani at Laney's house that afternoon to play Monopoly and have some girl time. At first I threw myself into the game in hopes that it would distract me from thinking about Seth—or Dylan—but my friends couldn't seem to talk about anything but their boyfriends and it was driving me crazy.
I groaned as I rolled the dice. “If I have to hear how amazing Ashton is one more time I will put hotels on every property and bankrupt all of you one at a time. Slowly.”
Laney stuck out her tongue at me. “What is up with you today? Usually you're in a better mood after you go to the gym.”
“It's okay,” Dani said, trying to mollify me. “I have been overdoing it. A little.”
Molly's face lit up with an impish grin. “So does that mean I can talk about how awesome Quinn was when he—”
“No! Can we just play the game and not talk about boys for a while?”
The others passed knowing glances between them.
The Perfect Match Page 8
