by Reece Butler
She had yelled at him about her fantasies. Had used the F word with him, more than once, saying that was what she wanted. Yet he seemed calm, almost cold. She closed her eyes to his calm appraisal. The heat of embarrassment faded, though she still tingled from one set of curls to the other. She nervously waited for him to say something. Anything.
She waited a long time. So long that the heat had faded and she was breathing without panting.
She jerked when he grasped her ankle, but he held it loosely, as if he wanted to have a connection rather than haul her to him.
“Tell me something about you,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
She looked down at him. He looked calm and composed, as if they were having a first-date coffee in a public place. Yet they were naked, in bed, after having had hours of wild sex.
“We haven’t had a chance to talk.” A touch of warmth showed in his eyes. “We’ve been too busy doing other things.”
“I’m thirty-six, have never been married, and have a multiyear contract to provide medical services to the town of Climax and surrounding area,” she said briskly. “I am happily single, and plan to remain so. As of yesterday, I may become a mother.”
He didn’t need to know how the sight of him made her pussy cream. Or that his touch made her mind go blank and her legs fall open. He certainly didn’t need to know that his forceful personality made her want to do terrible things just so he’d punish her with spanking followed by more hard sex. She’d had a taste of both tonight, and wanted more. Much more.
“You’d make a good mom,” he said, surprising her. “You’ve spent your life taking care of others.”
Tears suddenly prickled her eyes. She shut them, but couldn’t shut out his calm, controlled voice.
“You’ve had years and years of study, of going without, seeing your mother and sister sacrifice for you. Textbooks were your friends since there wasn’t time for anything else. Maybe you found a boyfriend or two along the way, but none were worthy of you. Then you came here. You were starting to settle in when your sister married a couple of cowboys. And then you met me.”
He kissed her leg. Gently, like a lover. She tried to hide the quiver that ran though her at the touch.
“You said you wanted it hard, just like I gave you. Nikki, I’ve never been able to let go like that before. I liked it. A lot. And if you want more, I’m game.”
He tightened his hand around her ankle. It felt like he had her whole body in his grasp. Her chest was so tight she had to open her mouth to inhale. A trickle of fluid escaped her pussy. The sheets would need to be changed.
He moved, and she jerked. He slowly sat up, releasing her ankle. He moved leisurely, putting a pillow into place and leaning his shoulder against the headboard beside her. The sheet pulled away, exposing his rising cock. She stared at it in fascination as it twitched with his heartbeat.
“Do you want Conan in your bed, pet?” He gently drew the knuckle of his free hand over her cheek and down to her neck. “Because I can do that, as well as this.”
He ran his fingers up the back of her neck and into her hair. His touch was gentle, but firm. After what they’d done, he knew her body intimately. Yet he’d not touched her with this deliberate authority before. He stopped when his hand reached her rib cage. Her breasts trembled just beyond his knuckles. She wanted him to touch her nipples. To put his hot mouth and agile tongue on them. To twist and nip them just right to send her over the edge.
“Sometimes, sweet Nikki, a powerful woman needs to be taken in hand by an even more powerful man. She needs to give up control, to release that burden and place it in the hands of her man.”
She trembled. Oh, God, he knew what she wanted. He understood how tired she was of having to be responsible. His fingers tightened in her hair. It wasn’t a sharp pain, but just enough so she knew he could take control if he wished.
If she wished.
“Do you want that, pet?” he murmured. “Do you want to give me control, just for a while, so you can relax and enjoy doing what you’re told?”
Could she trust him? Everything in her said yes. She trusted Brenda and Aggie and they trusted Eric. But…
“Umm…”
“I sense your need, and your worry. I doubt you’ve ever given control to anyone.” His fingers walked up her ribs toward her breast. Not far enough, just teasing. “You would have obeyed orders at work, of course. But you’ve not placed your will in the hands of another. That takes trust.” His finger swooped along the lower edge of her breast. She hissed and arched. “I will never harm you, baby girl. I’ll only do what you want and need.”
He dropped his head while raising his eyebrows. His look was both promise and warning. He would do with her what he believed she wanted and needed, not what she said. Like Aggie, she wouldn’t know what he would demand, or when. She could just…be.
“There will be times when you won’t like what I say you need,” he explained. “But while we are together, you will obey me.”
Her heart raced at the idea. She’d called his bluff, and he’d answered with an even greater challenge.
“I don’t want…” She stopped, not sure what to say.
“You don’t know what you want, do you?”
“I don’t want to be hurt.”
“Pick a word,” he said. “Something you’d never say.”
“Why?”
“It will be your safe word. If I do something that you really don’t like, you say your safe word and I’ll slow down so we can talk it over.”
“Like a safety net?” He nodded. “What if I want you to stop? Just stop, all together?”
“Then say ‘red.’ But know that whatever we are doing is over. Don’t say it because you have a touch of healthy fear, or don’t think you can do what I believe you can. Because everything will stop. You will never know what you might have learned had you trusted me.”
“I’m supposed to trust you?” She found her head shaking. “I’ve never trusted a man in my life, and few women. I just met you, and you want me to trust you enough to agree to obey you?”
“You trusted me enough to do what we’ve been doing since we met.”
“Oh, that.” Her ears heated up.
His low chuckle warmed her all over. His warm brown eyes and rueful smile made her melt.
“I’m not some stranger you met in a bar. I grew up here. I’m a well-known member of this community.” He snorted. “But I’m nowhere near as valued as you. If I do anything that hurts you, my ass will be in a sling and my balls in a vice. And that’s before my brother gets hold of me.” He touched her, just a finger, but she felt it over her whole body. “I want this, however long it lasts, to work for you. If you agree to submit to me, it will be my responsibility to help you grow and learn about yourself.”
A rush of emotion threatened to overwhelm her. Was this the real Eric Frost? Not the one intent on proving something, or the one half-crazed with wanting her.
What did she really want in a man? What she’d never had before. Someone who put her before himself. Not all the time, but when she needed it. Who not only listened to her hopes and desires, but believed in her being able to accomplish them. Who helped her, laughed with her and, when necessary, held her when she grieved. Who treated her as an intelligent, multidimensional woman, and relished the challenge she presented.
What she really wanted was a man she could trust to be there when she needed him.
Was Eric that man? Maybe. But unless she stepped forward, right now, she’d be stepping back. Back to hovering around the edges of other people’s lives.
“Give me your safe word,” he said, breaking into her thoughts.
“Safe word?”
“Something you would never say, no matter how upset you were. For obvious reasons, words such as ‘no,’ ‘don’t,’ and ‘stop’ are useless.” He winked. “Because I won’t, unless you use the safe word.”
“You mean, like aardvark?”
“Aard
vark it is.”
She chewed her lip. Right from the start, he’d treated her differently. He wasn’t awed by her being a doctor. He liked her size, and certainly liked her body. The way he called her “baby girl” made her feel soft and feminine. She wanted to curl up in his lap knowing he’d make everything right in her world, just for a while.
Did she want what he offered? She swallowed hard.
“You are not a doormat,” he said in the same quiet, calm, determined voice. “You are a strong, independent woman choosing to trust that I will give you what you crave. Do you agree to me taking you in hand, giving you what you’ve been wanting all these years?”
She wasn’t sure what the expression about him taking her in hand meant. Not really. But she knew what he intended. The deep, dark craving in her trembled with moist need.
“I…I’m afraid,” she whispered.
“Afraid of what I might do to you? Or that you will enjoy it too much?”
He did know her well. “Both.”
“Uncertainty when challenged, even a touch of fear, is good. It brings a certain tension.” He ran the backs of his knuckles up her ribs, deliberately curving around her breasts, teasing her. “It’s a tension of wanting, but not knowing. You won’t know what I will demand of you. You won’t know when, where, or how I will touch you.”
He suddenly caught her nipple between his knuckles, pinched once, and released. The joyful pinch was gone as she arched to beg for more.
“Did that hurt?” he asked.
She nodded. “A bit. But I liked it.”
“I will never, ever harm you. But I will, when I know you need it, make you sting.”
It was the sting that made her arousal peak. She wanted it. Wanted more.
“While we are here together, will you obey me, Nikki?”
She’d waited years and years to find a man who was interested in her as a person. Eric wanted her, wanted to help her achieve her fantasies, because they matched his. She gave a slight nod.
“Say it,” he ordered.
“Yes!” she blurted. “I’ll obey you. In bed.”
He lifted her into his lap, her left shoulder leaning against his chest. He cuddled her, holding her snug until she realized she was not to move. Then he ran his hands over her body. Not as a lover. No, this was sheer possession, proving that she was his property. That he would care for her in every way he thought right.
When he did nothing else she sighed, relaxing against him. Letting him care for her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Eric held his woman close. She was bountiful as well as beautiful. Lots to hold onto, and to share. She’d agreed to obey him, with a qualifier that it was only for sex. That would do for now. If she was pregnant, this would become more than a short affair. She had no choice in the matter, though he wouldn’t point that out for now. What would it be like to have her belly swell and round with his son?
“Would you marry Matt?”
She pulled back her chin and blinked up at him. “Matt?”
She looked so cute, like a startled rabbit. He had to smile.
“My younger brother, head honcho of the Circle C ranch? He wants you.”
She scowled, elbowing him in the gut as she sat up. He allowed it.
“If your brother wants me, why didn’t he ask me? All those weeks after we met, he avoided me. Then he holds me like a desperate man while we danced. And as soon as he’s gone, you jump me.”
He didn’t point out it was close as to which of them jumped the other.
“Matt asked me to check out the tall, blonde, gorgeous doctor named Nikki. When I saw you heading toward me, all piss and vinegar, I knew he meant you. And I wanted to make you mine.”
She flopped back against him, scowl still in place. “If he wanted me, why the heck didn’t he go after me?” She paused. “Don’t tell me your brother asked you to haul me into bed?”
“Why not? We’ve always planned to share a woman, just like Dad and Pops. Matt’s too shy to go after a woman like you.”
“Like me?”
He got another elbow as she straightened. She lifted her head like a queen. It made him want her to proudly bend that head and submit fully to him. He didn’t want her to lose that sense of pride, or self. Done properly, submitting brought the sub a much greater appreciation of herself. With his help, Nikki would learn her full value, to herself as well as him and Matt. She would bend to him at home, but hold her head even higher in public.
As a medical doctor, Nikki already had reasons to hold her head high. That was part of Matt’s problem. He thought he wasn’t good enough for Nikki.
The same damn thing as happened to him with Vivian.
Only, this time there’d be a far different result. He was older, wiser, and knew not to get his heart involved. He’d lose neither the woman or, if there was one, the child.
“You’ve seen Lance’s ravens at the MacDougal ranch?”
“Of course,” she replied, frowning. “They’re always around. But what’s that got to do with Matt?”
“Raven is Lance’s totem, the animal spirit he’s closest to. He’s a spiritual healer. Simon’s totem is Wolf. He has a strong sense of family, and is a great teacher. Mine is Bear, a strong leader with a bit of stubbornness.”
“A bit?”
“Matt’s totem is Otter,” he continued, ignoring her dig. “He’s shy, playful, and eager to please, but a hard worker. Lance figures your totem is Polar Bear. You’re loyal, intuitive, and empathetic, a skilled survivor. You’re also independent, territorial, and command respect.”
She might be able to hide her expressions at work, but not from him, when curled in his lap. Nikki liked what he said, but felt uncomfortable with praise. That would change.
“Again,” she replied sarcastically, “what does this have to do with Matt?”
The sarcasm was a defense mechanism, one she’d not need when she accepted her true self. If she allowed him, he would help her grow beyond the shy, awkward adolescent that huddled inside her. She would be confident in herself, standing tall no matter what.
She might reject him at that point. He’d have to accept it, and let her go. He’d know he’d helped that transformation, and be proud of the woman she’d become.
No, damn it! She was not going to leave him, or Matt. If he did this right, she’d want both of them in her life, as well as their children. She needed a soft hand with steel behind it. That meant providing visible comfort, backed by his power and determination to protect and provide for her.
He gave her a slight squeeze and smiled to calm her agitation.
“Can you imagine how hard it is for a shy, playful otter to walk up to a polar bear and ask her to dance?”
She stared blankly at him. Her color was up, but not too far. He was learning her moods, and how quick they could change. The questioning scientist in her was intrigued, but she wasn’t going to let go of the thread of conversation.
“You’re a medical doctor,” he continued. “You’ve spent the best part of your life with your head in a book, studying. Matt and school didn’t get along so well. He’s smarter than a whip, with an intuitive sense of what the land and animals need, but he’s not educated. You scare the shi—sugar out of him.” He paused, letting it sink it. “And you make him hornier than a billy goat in spring. He told me that you had a prime ass and everything else to go with it.” He winked, friendly but with a touch of lust. “Matt may not have schooling, but he knows what we both like. And that, baby girl, is you.”
She turned away, fiddling with the sheet. She had those forehead wrinkles again. Her eyes dashed around the room, settling on nothing. She was obviously thinking, so he let her have at it.
“He wears a pair of old spurs on his cowboy boots,” she said, as if that made sense in reply to what he’d said. “Those silver ones without sharp spikes, and an ancient hat that he never takes off.”
Eric realized she was talking about watching Matt walk down the street. Each had t
aken a gander at the other when they could and thought no one was watching.
“Those spurs have been passed down from Oscar Cutler, one of the three men who started the Circle C over a hundred years ago. The son who runs the ranch gets them. Since I made it clear pretty early on that I wasn’t staying, Matt wears them.” He dropped his voice to a murmur. “Matt loves to watch your ass wiggle as you walk.”
“My behind doesn’t wiggle!”
He couldn’t help grinning at her expression. “Yes, pet, it does. And it’s most enticing. He watched you whenever he could. And it made him so horny he couldn’t ride a horse without taking a cold shower.”
She groaned, blushing again. “Gad! I’d slow down, but he’d never catch up. And when I stopped and turned, he’d disappear into a store!”
Matt had told Eric about stepping into the beauty parlor to escape facing Nikki. Instead, he’d faced a trio of smirking women who would tell the whole damn world about it. It took a hell of a lot of guts for a man to do that. Matt played the easygoing cowboy, aw shucks and always friendly. But he didn’t get serious about women, or get near serious women. Not that he didn’t like women. Those buckle bunnies on the rodeo circuit went after him like flies on a cow patty.
“I guess the two of you have a mutual attraction. Just like us.”
Sure enough, she blushed again. He couldn’t wait to play strip poker with her. She’d be nekkid in no time flat. Unless she took something off. Then his brain would drop below his belt and his tongue would get stuck to the roof of his mouth.
She cleared her throat.
“Just because I’ve seen your brother here and there, and danced with him once, does not mean I want to do this with him.”
“You mean, letting Matt show you how slow loving can ring your bells?” He ran his callused fingers over her soft skin. “Hard and fast is fun, but sometimes it’s nice to tie a woman down and take your time with her. Kissing and licking and nipping until she’s so wild to explode that she can’t hardly take it. If there’s two men pleasuring her, so much the better. Blindfolded, she won’t know who is doing what, or where they’ll target next. All she’ll be able to do is feel.”
