The Embrace

by Jessica Callaghan

  He nodded and guilt flashed over his face, making him seem almost vulnerable. There was no falseness or facade to this expression, and I took it as a moment of honesty. It felt strange to see such a powerful figure exposed, but it warmed me to him even more.

  He joined me on the sofa, his thigh gently brushing mine. I was still clad in only my silk nightgown and I suddenly felt the stab of embarrassment at my appearance.

  He saw me pulling the hem of my dress down over my bare legs and averted his gaze, like a true gentlemen. He obviously came from a time where men were still instinctively protective of women. The longer I spent with Robert, the less I saw him as a menacing figure.

  “I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer most of your questions yet. It’s not the right time.” He told me in his exotic voice. I was ready to interrupt but he carried on before I had the chance.

  “Don’t worry. Soon all of your questions will be answered and everything will be out in the open ,but you aren’t ready yet. I know it’s frustrating but it’s just the way it has to be. I’m genuinely sorry I can’t help you more, Louisa.”

  I tried to speak but his honesty and fragility made my voice catch in my throat.

  “You know my name.” I whispered, finally managing to shake off his effect on me.

  He nodded again. Nothing to be said, I suppose. He was a man of few words and it seemed as if every syllable he spoke had a deeper purpose. Nothing he said was accidental, and if speaking was unnecessary then he simply wouldn’t say a word.

  “I’ve been following you for a long time.” He said, as if he was admitting a shameful secret.

  He leaned closer to me. “I’m sure you want to get changed after everything you’ve been through tonight. I think I have some garments in your size.”

  That word, garments, said in his romantic accent, sent a shiver down my spine. I tried to shake it off. I had too much to think about with Gabriel and Dahlia, I didn’t need another complication to add to the heap.

  Robert led me up a sweeping wooden staircase and towards a bedroom. The room was immaculately decorated, like the other rooms in the house, but it had an emptiness that the rest of the place lacked. It was clear no-one had lived in this room for a very long time.

  Robert lead me over to a wardrobe and opened the doors, delicately pawing through the clothes inside while I hovered in the doorway. I didn’t want to disturb a room which was as neatly preserved as an old photograph.

  Robert pulled a dress from the wardrobe. It was white and would reach to around my knees, with lace panels and small, delicate flowers dotted over it. It was beautiful, nothing like any of the outfits I had at home which were mostly red, expensive and seductive. This dress looked more like the innocent dress of a virginal youth.

  He stood in the doorway while I dressed, but kept his back turned like the gentleman he was. I felt my skin prickle at the tension between us. We had spend months in each other’s lives without ever meeting, and it had built up an undeniable connection between us. Despite my better judgement I almost wanted him to look at me. I knew he could sense my attraction for him, so I didn’t even try to hide it.

  There was a mirror on the back of the door and I looked at myself. It hadn’t taken me too long to accept that I still had a reflection, despite being a vampire, yet once again the image in the mirror shocked me. I looked so young and free, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

  In the reflection of the mirror I saw Robert turn and begin to approach me. Before I knew it, he was right behind me and slowly he stroked up and down my arms. Goose pimples popped up on my skin, marking a trail where his skin touched mine.

  “You look beautiful.” He said.

  It was all he needed to say. I had been told I was beautiful hundreds of times since the transformation, but most of the time it was from humans who were under my spell. Robert said it in a way that felt sincere, more genuine than anyone else.

  The room around me blurred as I turned to face him, our bodies just inches apart. He was much taller than me but he was looking down, and our faces matched perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle.

  I knew I shouldn’t be doing it, but I had done a lot of things that night which I wasn’t supposed to do. I don’t think I could have stopped myself if I tried. My body had control now, not my mind, and so I kissed him.

  Maybe it was the way the compliments sounded in his French accent, maybe it was the stress of Gabriel’s actions, or maybe it was a release of the tension which had been building between us for month. All I knew was that it felt predestined. It was as if every moment in my second life had been leading up to this kiss.

  I became more passionate as the kiss went on, throwing my arms around his neck and gripping tightly so that he couldn’t leave me like so many others had throughout my life. Despite my enthusiasm, he seemed reluctant. For a moment he got lost in the kiss just as I had, but then he pulled away, holding me at arms length.

  I was confused. I had sensed the attraction between us, something I knew he couldn’t deny. I had never known anyone but Gabriel to turn me down, and he had always had an alterior motive for manipulating me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. I was hurt and I couldn’t hide it.

  I could see the torment written over his face. He was wracked with guilt.

  “I can’t. I would love to, but I can’t. It isn’t the right time. Not until you come here with a clear head.” He trailed off, but he didn’t need to say anything else. I knew what he was saying was right. If I had gone further with him I would have been filled with guilt. Robert was special but I still belonged to Gabriel, and I couldn’t erase the sire bond.

  It was awkward between us, to say the least. We walked out together and didn’t say anything else but there was a definite frostiness which hadn’t been there before. Normally I would never have considered kissing another vampire but now here I was, practically offering myself to Robert and yet I knew nothing about him but his name.

  “I can’t go home.” I whispered as we left. My voice was so timid, it didn’t even sound like me. I was exhausted and it had taken all my strength just to get the words out.

  He nodded. He seemed to know everything that had happened between Gabriel and I, things no-one else knew. Right now it felt comforting to have someone who knew my background without me having to explain it all.

  “I understand.” He said it with such honesty that I had to accept it. I genuinely believed that he understood my problems. “You can stay here for the day but you have to go back to him tomorrow.”

  “I can’t. I can’t go back to him. I’ve done terrible things, you don’t understand. I’m scared of him.” It felt strange to finally say my feelings out loud. I didn’t understand why Robert would even suggest it.

  He turned and took me in his arms. Although he had rejected my advances, this embrace didn’t feel sexual. It was like a hug from an old friend, a comforting gesture. I hadn’t had a friend in so long, and I realised just how lonely I had been feeling.

  “You have to go back. The next few weeks are going to be tough but there’s a plan, things have to go a certain way. You have to go back to Gabriel for a while. It’s not forever.” He spoke with such sincerity that I had to believe him. “I’m sure you know by now that you can’t trust him, but I promise I will never let him hurt you.”

  I knew I shouldn’t be so trusting but something about Robert felt genuine. At that moment I trusted him with my life. As my tired body began to give up, I felt the tears spilling out, gently landing on Robert’s chest. I needed to sleep and forget my struggles for a while.

  I pulled away, ready to make my excuses and go to bed, but Robert gently brushed a tear away from my cheek. His hands were soft, his touch tender and loving.

  “You’re so beautiful when you cry.” He murmured, almost too quiet for me to hear.

  I had hundreds of questions for him and I needed to know more before I went back to Gabriel. I didn’t know how long it would be before Robert and I woul
d meet again.

  “How do you know so much? You know about vampires, about me. You know all these tricks and powers that I’ve never even seen. What makes you so special?” I asked.

  It was a simple question but it showed how little I knew about Robert, and how strange it was for me to feel so close to him already.

  He beamed and took my hand, leading me down the hallway to another bedroom which felt more lived in and less like the abandoned shrine in the first room.

  “I’m very old. In fact I’m one of the oldest around. When you get to my age you know a lot about the world around you, good and bad. You don’t need to think about that yet. Get some rest in here.” He kissed the top of my head and then disappeared down the hall, moving like a whisp of smoke.

  I was glad he had given some kind of answer, but I was still no wiser as to his origins or his reasons for following me. He seemed to care for me beyond the level of a stranger and I felt a deep admiration for him in return, despite not having any justification for it.

  I had so much to think about. I entered the spare bedroom, which was just as beautifully decorated as the rest of the house, and lay down on the bed. There were no windows and the room plunged in to darkness as soon as I closed the door behind me. Darkness was comforting to me, something I had full knowledge of. I knew what to expect when the world was dark.

  It took me just moments to fall asleep. I had been through too much for one night, almost more than the rest of my second life in it’s entirity. I needed to forget it all for a while, and sleep was the only way to do that.

  If Robert’s warning about Gabriel was as serious as it seemed then I had to be on top form. I needed to sleep off my fight with Dahlia and my hectic night so that I could return to my nest in full strength.

  As I fell asleep Robert’s face flashed up in my head once again and, despite all the worries over my past actions and my future danger, I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face. Something about Robert was special and I knew that no matter what happened I had to find out more about this charismatic figure who had entered my life in such a strange way.

  Chapter 28Vampires do not dream as humans do and so sleep is a time of deep peace for us. For a few moments after waking I experienced the pure, tranquil seconds before my body fully reached it’s peak. Then I remembered everything. I remembered that I was due to walk back in to a home filled with danger and accusations that very night.

  I stretched and felt the bones in my body click. As I stretched my arm out I felt something on the pillow next to me and I reached out to pick it up. It was a note, obviously left by Robert. I hadn’t heard him come in to the room at all and I suppose that was just another one of the benefits of being an old vampire. He could move without alerting anyone to his presence, even other vampires.

  I opened the note and took in Robert’s handwriting. It was in formal cursive but there was a shakey quality which implied he had written it in a rush. It wouldn’t have been out of place on the historical documents from centuries ago, with their own elegant yet unusual style.

  The note went as follows:

  “Louisa. I’m afraid I had something to attend to but I didn’t want you to wake up and think I abandoned you. You have to go back to Gabriel. I know it will be hard, but I’ll make sure you are safe. You should change back in to your other clothes before you leave so that he doesn’t suspect anything. I’m sorry I couldn’t satisfy your questions; all in good time. I’m so glad I finally got to meet you. It feels like I’ve known you for decades. You are more than I ever could have imagined. Not long now. Robert”

  I read the note over a few times and let the words sink in. I had carried a similar note with me before, from Gabriel. This note was different. It was more precise but somehow more personal. It seemed to perfectly reflect Robert’s personality.

  It was so silly. I had only met this man once and in a matter of hours he had gone from a potentially dangerous stalker to a kind, charismatic friend. I had even thrown myself on him despite my connection to my sire. I had given up my mortal life to be with Gabriel and join the world of vampires, but I was willing to throw it all away. I could never have imagined my life changing this much in less than a year but here I was, swinging from one person to another.

  I changed back in to my skin baring negligee. I had left it in the room next door and I hesitated when I entered. I didn’t want to disturb the still, preserved state of the room but I had to. There was something strange about the whole house. Robert certainly had a back story and I hoped that it wouldn’t be too long before I found out more about him. He knew everything about me and yet I knew nothing about him, just like my relationship with Gabriel.

  On the way back to the nest, I found a lonely tourist to feed on. I didn’t know how Gabriel was going to react to my return but I needed to be at full strength, just in case something went wrong. I still didn’t know if Dahlia was dead, but I had to be prepared just in case.

  As I got closer to the flat I let my nerves take over. The drama over Dahlia was the most serious threat to our relationship yet. Gabriel had promised to turn her in to his mate, while I had potentially killed his newly created vampire, something only the sire should do. Then just hours later I had thrown myself on another vampire.

  The night Gabriel had finally freed me from the prison of my human body had seemed perfect. I could never have imagined it would end up so warped and destructive within just a few months.

  I hovered outside the door for a few moments, building up the courage to go in. I could tell that Gabriel was inside the apartment. He was my creator so I guess we had an eternal link between us. He could probably tell I was outside too but he didn’t come to greet me. Maybe he was waiting for me to make the first move.

  I pushed the door open slowly. The flat looked like a whirlwind had gone through it. The sofa was turned over, the tables were broken and battered and some of the small ornaments I had often admired lay shattered on the floor. Some of it was probably from my fight with Dahlia but I hadn’t stopped to pay attention as I left. Gabriel easily could have torn the home apart in a rage.

  He left our bedroom and came to a halt in the middle of a pile of destroyed items. I looked at him carefully and tried to work out what was going on in his head. There was a sadness in his eyes but I could tell there was anger too. His emotions were expertly hidden, unlike Robert who exuded honesty with every word he said.

  “I didn’t think you’d be coming back so soon.” He said.

  He was acting like a victim. I wanted to shout at him, to tell him how I really felt, but then I remembered Robert’s warning. I had to be calm and pretend I was still the submissive vampire Gabriel created.

  I bent my head and tried to look as if I was truly sorry. I suppose I was sorry, at least about the fact I may have taken the life of another vampire in a fit of rage.

  “I’m sorry Gabriel. Is she...” I stopped. I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t mention her name again.

  I kept my eyes focused on him, waiting for a reply.

  “She’s dead. You killed her.” That was all I needed. My knees went weak and I felt a dull throbbing in my head. I had killed a higher being, someone who had been given a second life just like I had. It was the cardinal sin of a vampire, and even though I had my reasons, I felt terrible about what I’d done.

  I nodded, trying to take it all in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. She just kept talking and the things she was saying, I couldn’t stand it. She acted like she knew you. She said that she was going to be your new mate and I wasn’t going to be part of your life anymore.”

  I realised as I spoke that I was finally airing the truth for the first time. Even during my brief night with Robert, the first time in weeks that I had felt safe and secure, I still hadn’t been able to tell him the complete truth. I was laying my cold, dead heart on the line for Gabriel.

  “I thought you were stronger than that. I thought we were stronger. I can’t believe you’d take another vampire�
��s life, and one so young.” He sighed and shook his head. He was disappointed in me. I had sworn to myself I wouldn’t let Gabriel make me feel guilty, but I couldn’t help it.

  Within a split second he was in front of me. I had hardly seen him move and it was a sudden reminder that I had to keep my wits about me. He took hold of my arms but I didn’t feel scared. I didn’t have any fear anymore since Robert’s guarantee of protection.

  He looked me right in the eye, staring me down. His face was just an inch in front of mine. If he wanted to kill me right there then I wouldn’t even be able to fight back, but instead he kissed me. It wasn’t the kiss of passionate lovers, the way we used to show our affection. Now it felt like a transaction between siblings. The spark between us had all but gone after my experiences with Dahlia and Robert.

  I don’t know if he realised my feelings, or if he felt the same way, but that moment would resonate with me for the rest of my second life. I had only ever loved one man and I had given my human life for him, but now I had lost that love. I had imagined spending eternity with Gabriel and now I barely even wanted to touch him.

  His smug smile told me he didn’t know how I felt. He thought everything was fine, the balance of power had been restored in his favour.

  “I forgive you.” He whispered to me, the spiritual leader forgiving the sins of the child. “I chose you to be my mate and that’s a life long commitment. I turned Dahlia and I have to accept the way she turned out. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

  I put my arms around him in a gesture I hoped would convince him I still loved him. I knew he wanted me to be his disciple, the willing student who would follow him no matter what. He had forgiven me, and I was expected to graciously thank him for it.

  “We should probably tidy this place up.” I told him, trying to take my mind off the horrible feeling of shame spreading through my body.

  “Have you fed?” He asked, pretending to care about me.

  I nodded. It hadn’t been the most satisfying of kills and I certainly had room for more but I couldn’t stand going out with him yet. Hunting would be the ultimate test of my facade of devotion, and I wasn’t ready for that yet.