JAYDEN

by Becca Fanning

  “Did she understand the fact we’d share her?”

  “Someday. I didn’t exactly focus on the most terrifying aspect, Jay,” Kon retorted dryly.

  “She’ll love it.”

  “Of course she will, but she doesn’t know that yet. Jesus, I had to explain anal sex to her… that’s how much we have to tell her.”

  Despite the gravity of the situation and the fact that their cocking up could truly impact Leila’s introduction to sex, he couldn’t help but be satisfied that she’d be theirs and theirs alone.

  The very notion was like feeding an addict a purse dose of cocaine. The bliss and the high were worth it at the moment, but after, the shit would fall. And that’s what would happen if they rushed her. If they didn’t let her take this at their own pace.

  Jay just hoped she wasn’t as slow as a snail. He’d wait as long as it took, but he’d be suffering in the meantime.

  Chapter 6

  As Ava shoved a donut into her mouth, Leila had to wonder how she actually managed to sink the sweet treat between her teeth.

  Luck? Or practice?

  She didn’t even look at her food. Just shoved it toward her mouth, seeming to find the perfect target every time.

  It was a wonder the woman wasn’t several hundred pounds. The way she ate was truly atrocious.

  It was almost amusing how many sugary treats and snacks Ava managed to consume, but what was really unjust was how she managed to get away with it.

  Leila’s problem had always been putting on weight and getting it to stick. She knew so many women would hate her for that ‘ability’ like it was a gift or something to be constantly fighting to remain healthy. Most of the women in her circle had struggled to stay slim, as any of the portlier ladies had been highlighted in chapel for their gluttony. Remaining slender had been imperative in their Church.

  She wasn’t sure who the women would be more jealous of. Herself or Ava who could consume a small car in candy and not put a lick of weight on thanks to a metabolism that was fueled by her Bear.

  “You’re staring again,” Ava grumbled as she carried on working.

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Sure, you can. Just stop looking at me.”

  “You eat so much,” Leila admitted. “It’s fascinating.”

  “You mean to tell me you watch me eat because I’m like some kind of damn documentary?”

  Leila cleared her throat. “I guess. Did you ever see Supersize Me?”

  Ava rolled her eyes. “Yeah. I did. But look, I eat my veggies, too.”

  Leila snorted. “Like veggies would make up for the metric ton of sugar you eat every day.”

  “Jesus, what are you? My mom or a sugar Nazi?” She stroked the packet of donuts. “She doesn’t mean it, my babies. She’s just being mean.”

  Despite herself, Leila had to chuckle. Over two weeks in Ava’s company would do that to a girl.

  If you didn’t have a thick hide before, you sure as heck would have one after.

  She was crass and coarse, blunt and honest. In fact, she was like a female version of both Jay and Kon mixed together.

  The notion had her blinking in surprise.

  “Were you and the twins close when you were growing up?”

  Ava frowned and actually took her attention off the computer screen for a moment—high praise. “Of course. We’re close in age, and we were the first kids in this place. It was either play together or stick to dolls.” She grinned. “Trust me, it was far more fun to plait Kon’s hair and try to put make up on Jay.” She let out a hoot. “You should have seen Mundo’s face when I painted their nails. That was hilarious. He wanted to go ape shit, but he was thinking, Jesus, this is the Prez’s daughter. Then, he remembered exactly who my dad is—he loves them—tore me a new one, and didn’t stop blistering me until I’d taken all of it off their feet and hands.”

  “You gave them a mani pedi?” Leila demanded, laughing at the notion.

  Ava grinned. “Yep. My proudest moment, and Mundo’s least proud.”

  “That’s hilarious.”

  “It is when you consider how damn beefy they are.” Ava shot her a look. “It must be a sick twist of fate to put someone so tiny between the two of them.”

  She shrugged. “You’re not thinking anything everyone else hasn’t thought.”

  Ava narrowed her eyes. “If they’re not being good to you, let me know. I will go furry on their ass.”

  Leila’s eyes widened in horror. “No! Don’t do that. Everything’s fine.” She’d heard the tale from Sammy, her brother-in-law’s brother who worked at the clubhouse on their bikes. When Ava had shifted the last time, she’d murdered men from Sammy and her brother-in-law, Spyder’s, old MC.

  Female Shifters weren’t like their male counterparts. They shifted out of fear and terror, and went on a rampage as a result.

  Leila had learned in the past two weeks that males shifted for pleasure or for stress release.

  She guessed it was unfair that females didn’t get to enjoy their She Bear as a past time, but Ava didn’t seem to mind. Neither did Jessie, the sister of her mates.

  Both women seemed perfectly content to remain in their human form. And Cinda, Jay and Kon’s aunty, was exactly the same.

  While the males seemed perfectly in tune with their Bears, that definitely wasn’t the case for the females.

  Everything had a balance, she guessed. And was it her place to guess at that balance? Nope.

  “I appreciate you looking out for me, Ava, but there’s no need. Honestly.”

  The other woman huffed. “You’re just saying that because you’re afraid I’ll kill them.”

  The ease in which Ava let those words loose had Leila wincing. “You really shouldn’t talk like that, Ava. You do know that, right?”

  “That’s the Church talking again. I swear, every time one of their dictates comes out of your mouth, I’m going to make you eat a donut or something. Negative reinforcement might do it.”

  Leila bit her lip. “I’m really trying not to talk about it as much.”

  “I know,” Ava retorted, trying and failing to sound sympathetic.

  The twins were a lot more patient with her when a lifetime’s dictates poured from her mouth. In truth, said strictures usually came forth only with them and Ava. They were the most incorrigible of all the people she’d met of late.

  Ironic, wasn’t it, that that was the case.

  The three of them didn’t seem to respect her past, whereas everyone else, even the Prez, Mars, himself, tried. She guessed she liked the way Ava, Kon, and Jay treated her though.

  It put her at ease, and they were a reminder that they were her future, while the Church was most definitely her past.

  “Do you think that would work?” Leila asked, voice soft. “The donut thing?”

  Ava blinked then burst out laughing. “You take me so literally sometimes, sugar.”

  “You mean you were joking?”

  “Of course.” Ava snorted. “Although you could probably do with being fattened up.”

  Leila rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know I earned that comment.”

  Ava shot her a grin, then sobered up a little. “You have to say whatever’s on your mind, babe. Even if it is a commandment.” She grunted at that. “Still, I want the truth. They’re being good to you, aren’t they?”

  “Of course, they are. You’ve seen them.”

  “What I’ve seen are two sexually frustrated beasts,” Ava retorted wryly. “That’s why I asked. I wanted to make sure they were taking out their urges on everyone but you.”

  Leila’s eyes widened, and her cheeks turned bright pink with mortification. “You mean people know we’re not doing it?”

  Ava snorted. “Oh, honey, you can say the word, you know?”

  More mortification filled her. “This is too humiliating,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands. “How do they know?”

  “You don’t scent of them,” Ava said simply. “A
nd they’re angry. Not at you,” she added hastily. “Simply at everyone else because their passions are running high.”

  “W-What should I do?” she beseeched.

  “Leila, do you know how long I waited for my mate?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I found Chris when I was fifteen. I had to wait a decade for him to claim me. I was wicked pissed. All. The. Time. So was he. It changed us. Waiting made us meaner, not as light-hearted and jovial. We suffered as we waited, but wait we did.

  “Yeah, the boys are suffering now. Maybe that’s not fair on them. However, it’s not fair on you to push yourself into something you’re not ready for. You’re a virgin, right?”

  Gulping at the frank talk—heck, did this Clan do anything other than frank talk?—she nodded.

  “I was too when Chris claimed me. I know you’re frightened and nervous, more so because of your past. I was raised to know how good sex is.

  “My parents get on my tits, but hell, I never once doubted their love for one another. Their need. The passion they share was something I always wanted for myself, and when I realized who Chris was to me, the waiting made it all the harder because I’d see my mom and dad and had longed for a connection like that. And that kind of link is forged in so many different ways, you won’t begin to understand it until you’re actually living it.”

  “Explain, please,” she pleaded. “Let me try to get this in my head at least.”

  Ava pursed her lips, then turned around in her desk chair so they were properly facing one another. Her desk was large, and they’d brought another computer in for Leila to work on, and they still shared the same desk space. She tilted her chair too, so they were directly opposite one another, no computer or data to hook their attention.

  “I can imagine what the Church told you. A woman listens to her husband. Does as bid. And if she doesn’t, then she’s not a good wife. That sound about, right?”

  Leila blinked. “Yes. We’re taught that men are the protectors and the providers. We have to listen to them if we want to stay safe, want our families to remain protected by the Lord.”

  Ava rolled her eyes. “All cults teach that same hooey. Shit, you think they’d come up with something more original.” She paused, then rubbed her chin. “I guess you don’t fix what ain’t broke.”

  “Amen to that,” Leila teased a little, making Ava grin.

  “Anyway, if you’re a virgin, I doubt you know much more than the mechanics, and probably not even that. Maybe they said you just have to put up with your husband’s bestial urges, you to have supplicate them because if you don’t, and if he goes elsewhere for it, then it’s your fault he cheated and broke a commandment.”

  “Sounds about right,” Leila admitted shakily.

  Ava nodded. “Jerks. Sex is more than just a chore. You don’t just have to lie there and take it. Men want more than that anyway—well, real men do. They want you to be active in it, want you to enjoy it as much as they do.”

  “Really?” Leila whispered, feeling a tad scandalized by such a notion.

  “Of course! Don’t you want to enjoy it too? Rather than just be a recipient, wouldn’t you prefer to be an active part of the fun?”

  “I-I guess.”

  Ava nodded again. “Well, the truth is, when you do that, the closeness and intimacy between you and your mates will just skyrocket. I swear to you now, nothing beats that connection. Nothing.” She swallowed heavily, and Leila could sense how deeply her own words were affecting her. “It’s indescribable, Leila. You’ll never be alone, ever again. And me and you? We’re kind of fine with our own company, but this is different. This is like being with the best parts of yourself.

  “If there’s one thing in this world that saddens me, it’s that most people don’t get to experience what we do with a mate bond. We are so lucky, so fortunate, and I don’t think we truly appreciate that.”

  Leila bit her lip. “I guess I don’t because I never expected it. I’m trying though. I-I know what you mean about needing them and the closeness there is. I feel that already.

  “I’m okay in here. I enjoy what I do with you, and I want to help. It matters to me. This entire project is so worthwhile…”

  “But you miss them.”

  It was a statement not a question. “Yeah. I do. Then, when I go downstairs, and I don’t see them right away, it’s more than disappointing. It could make me cry.”

  Ava nodded. “That will lessen with time. Not because you’ll disregard them, but because the mate bond isn’t forged yet. It’s making you insecure and weepy and emotional. Once it’s set, you’ll feel better. You’ll go downstairs and wish they were there, but rather than focusing on their absence, you’ll think about when you see them next.”

  Leila let loose a shaky breath. “I prefer the idea of that.” She patted her heart. “I-I don’t like the feeling. It’s kind of painful.”

  “Of course it is, and for someone who never expected to feel so much for someone, never mind two people, it must be crazily overwhelming.”

  “It can be at times.” She gnawed at her bottom lip. “Are they suffering? They don’t say anything to me about it.”

  “Why would they? They don’t want you to feel badly.”

  Ava’s bluntness had her flinching. “I’m not doing right by them.”

  “Don’t be stupid, Leila,” Ava retorted, tone harsh for the first time. “Don’t you dare be thinking like that,” she continued, before Leila could feel hurt at her words. “Thinking like that will have you leaping into something you’re not ready for, and simply for their benefit.

  “You’re not holding out on them to punish them. You’re not doing anything malicious or unkind. You’re simply acclimating to this new world of ours. You’re learning them, letting them learn you, and when you all come together, whenever that may be, it will be a thousand times better because you haven’t rushed into anything.”

  Leila ducked her head. “But the Clan must think I’m some kind of tease or something. If they’re copping an attitude too, then that can’t be good for the rest of the people here.”

  “It isn’t, but we’ve dealt with worse than the twins’ tantrums,” Ava answered wryly. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this because you’re a softie, and it won’t achieve what I want it to achieve…”

  Leila frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, if you look outside in say--” She peered at the clock on her desktop. “Twenty minutes, two bears will go out into the yard and they’ll start fighting.”

  Leila’s eyes rounded. “Are they Kon and Jay?”

  “Yep,” came the bright response. “Now, I’m not telling you that so you’ll hare off to save them from themselves. I’m telling you that so you’ll watch them. You’ll see their Bears. They’re as much a part of them as the pretty faces you see.

  “With your background, you must be leery around Shifters anyway. But you’ll be doubly scared because hell, they’re big bastard bears. But coming to terms with those beasts will help you accept Kon and Jay. By avoiding the Bear, you’re avoiding the purest part of them.”

  “The purest? Really? It’s an animal.”

  Ava’s lips twitched. “Don’t you think animals have souls? Is that what your Church preached?”

  “I-I guess.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I like dogs,” Leila pondered. “I wouldn’t like to think they died and didn’t go anywhere.”

  Laughter barked from Ava. “I swear to God, you’re so fucking cute sometimes. And this from a woman who loathes cute.” She grinned. “Well, animals don’t sin, so that straight away makes them better than humans, don’t you think? That’s what makes them pure. At least, in my mind.”

  “That makes sense. I can see why you’d think that because they don’t purposefully hurt people, do they?”

  “Nope, they don’t. So, what are you going to do?” she asked. “Are you going to go meet them in that form?”

  “Yo
u really think I should, don’t you?”

  “I do. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

  “I’m nervous.”

  Ava snorted. “You’re always nervous.”

  She grinned. “I didn’t used to be, but this place, and heck, the world, it’s so frightening sometimes.”

  “You need never be afraid now,” Ava told her, tone deadly serious. “You not only have those two who will kill for you, but also, the Clan. We’ll all have your back now, and we’re damn stronger than anything any Church could throw at you.”

  Chapter 7

  With a roar, Kon rushed at Jay, not stopping until he’d tumbled his brother over. The beast watched with satisfaction as the white specked Grizzly tumbled ass over head down a craggy hillock in the Clan house’s backyard. Jay shook his head, wagging it from side to side as though trying to clear it of the fuzzy haze that would have overset him from the roll down the hill.

  It didn’t stop Jay from rushing up toward him though, jaws gnashing and fangs bared as he approached.

  “Stop!”

  The soft voice penetrated the haze of rage that had overset him since his shift. The Bear recognized its mate’s voice and turned, tilting around to source her in the yard.

  She was approaching them, but as she neared, she was trembling. Shivering and shaking like she was walking through the Antarctic.

  Her terror was pungent in the air, and it had his Bear rearing back in surprise. Jay let out a small rumble as he topped the hillock and saw Leila shivering in place.

  Almost in unison, the two of them plunked down on their asses, knowing that making themselves smaller would make them seem less formidable.

  It seemed to work because she didn’t run off back to the clubhouse, if anything, she took a hesitant step forward.

  “Ava said I should come and meet you in this form,” she told them, her voice almost a whisper as she let her gaze drift over the pair of them.