by Pam Mingle
She shook her head, clearly signaling she didn’t want to discuss it. “Now I wish to see you without your clothes, Adam.”
He let out a short bark of laughter. “I am yours to command, madam.” He yanked his shirt over his head. So aroused he couldn’t comply fast enough, he was reduced to hopping around so as not to lose his balance while he tugged off his boots and britches. He could hear Cass giggling. How to romance your intended. He could write the book on how not to.
…
When he was finally still, Cass stared unabashedly. She stepped behind him and ran her hand down his powerful back and over the taut curve of his buttocks. He was long of thigh, and his calves bulged with muscles. “Explore all you want, love. It’s only making me want you more.”
Adam spun around, surprising her. Cass stepped back in shock when she caught her first glimpse of his arousal. Truly, she didn’t see how that part of him was going to join with her…part. But since she only had a vague idea about the particulars, she decided to let him be her guide,
“Having a change of heart, are you?” Adam asked, smiling.
“Maybe. A little.” She trembled slightly.
“Don’t worry, darling. It will be my pleasure to make you ready for me.”
I love hearing you call me darling. And love. She’d never be able to resist him if he kept that up.
He lifted her and carried her to the bed. Easing his body alongside hers, he resumed kissing her, while stroking her tenderly and whispering endearments. Cass told herself to relax. This was her beloved Adam, the man she’d adored most of her life. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Gradually, with his kisses and his touch, her trembling subsided.
“What would you like me to do?” Cass asked.
“More of what you were doing when we were standing. Touch me.”
So she did, this time exploring the bands of muscle across his chest, even massaging his nipples gently, as he had done to her. Adam gasped, all the while continuing his gentle stroking of her.
His hands moved to her inner thighs, and then to her most intimate place. He worked magic on her sensitive flesh with his fingers, caressing, stroking, and gliding inside her until she couldn’t help making soft gasping sounds. Maybe that was something a lady shouldn’t do, but she couldn’t help it. And Adam seemed to like it, since he said, “That’s it, love, tell me.” Arching, she felt close to coming apart, and when she finally did, her body shook with unexpected tremors. Crying out with pleasure, she hurled herself into his arms. “I didn’t—I never knew…”
Adam framed her face with his hands and kissed her so sweetly, she ached inside. Feeling more confident, Cass reached out and put her hand on his rigid flesh. “Oh, sweet Jesus!” Adam cried. “Don’t!”
She jerked her hand away, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. I thought you would—”
“Yes, darling, it feels heavenly, it’s just that…never mind.” In one fluid move, he was above her, lifting her knees and opening her to him. She felt him at her entrance, yet he hesitated.
“Are you sure, Cassie? Are you sure you want this, too?”
“Very sure.” She had no intention of stopping now. Reaching toward him, she ran her palms over his chest, delighting in the feel of his hard, sinewy flesh.
Laughing softly, Adam began to push himself inside her. At first, she felt only joy in the claiming of her body by this irresistible man she’d desired for so long. Then the feeling changed, became uncomfortable, even painful, and at its worst, she cried out once, sharply. Adam paused, mumbling an apology. He waited a moment before he began to slowly withdraw and then slide back inside her.
“Cassie,” he whispered, his breath caressing her ear. “You are exquisite. So sweet. Everything a man could want.” Maybe Adam’s words helped ease the pain, because suddenly she was moving her hips in rhythm with his, and it felt good. So good. Cass was caught up in the ancient dance between male and female. She and Adam were joined together, performing an act common to all of humanity. Yet it was unique to them, because the way they felt, what they meant to each other, belonged to them alone. The idea affected her profoundly.
All she could hear for a few minutes was their breathing and their bodies brushing against the sheets. Adam’s eyes were glazed and his face looked as if he were far away. A moment later, a primal noise erupted from his chest and he did something that shocked Cass. He spilled his seed on the bed and not inside her. Then he dropped down onto her, kissing her and enfolding her in his arms. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Cassie.”
She felt giddy, too sated to talk. They lay in silence for a time, until she came back to herself. “Adam, why did you—”
“We can’t risk you getting with child.” He rose and walked over to the washstand. She heard a splash of water and after a minute realized he must be washing himself. Then he came back with the wet cloth. Embarrassed, she rolled to the side while he cleaned the sheet as well as he could.
And she wondered, couldn’t help wondering, had it been pleasing for Adam? She needed reassurance, because she would have been devastated if she’d disappointed him. He climbed back in bed and spooned himself around her, kissing her neck and ear.
“You were magnificent, darling.”
Cass breathed a sigh of relief. “Truly? You’re not just trying to make me feel good?”
“I hope you already feel good, so no, I’m not. Do you think you’d like to do this again sometime?”
She knew he was teasing her, but twisted around to face him anyway. “Yes! Good God, yes.” They both laughed. Much later sometime during the night, Cass felt her night rail sliding over her skin, and the covers being drawn up around her body.
When she woke up in the early dawn, shivering, Adam was gone. She felt an ache, an empty place inside, and wondered why this seemed like the end of something rather than the beginning.
…
Nothing in particular had been scheduled for the following day. Some of the men went off to hunt hare and squirrel. Others chose angling. Jack and Adam, Cass noticed, both opted for riding. Their horses probably did need a good gallop, she thought, and no doubt Jack wanted to talk privately to Adam. She’d like to be privy to that conversation. Then again, perhaps not.
The ball was planned for that evening, and tomorrow, everybody would take their leave. Cass was not at all sure what lay in store afterward for her and Adam. He had yet to speak to Sir William, and before making any further plans, he must do so. He wouldn’t need her for that, so she would probably return to London and not see Adam again until he, too, had returned. Cass dreaded the thought of being cooped up in the carriage with her cousin. She could travel with Jenny and her mother, although that would leave Louisa by herself, something her cousin would never countenance.
Most of the ladies remained in the salon, reading, writing letters, or talking about their ball gowns, jewelry, and the styling of their hair. Seated near a window, Cass tuned them out and gazed outside. She couldn’t keep Adam out of her thoughts. And when she allowed him in, she couldn’t prevent a little twitch of a smile pulling at her lips. When Jenny approached her and asked if she wanted to walk around the park, she had to drag herself back to the present. Aware that the other girl would have questions, Cass was not particularly enthusiastic about the idea, but she would not decline. She loved Jenny, looked forward to having a sister her own age. She would have to be as honest as she could without betraying the true nature of her arrangement with Adam.
Tying their bonnet strings as they left the house, they decided to take the gravel path that led to the wood. Both girls wore sturdy half boots. It had rained during the night, leaving the air clean and clear. Cass inhaled deeply, drawing the freshness into her lungs.
“Forgive me if I am intruding on your privacy, Cass, but will you tell me what in heaven’s name persuaded you to agree to Adam’s scheme?” Cass could sense Jenny’s eyes on her, but she kept her own gaze forward.
Nothing like getting right to the point.
“Surely my brother explained,” Cass said, hoping foolishly that might put an end to it.
“He explained Adam’s reason for telling his father he was engaged to you. I understand Adam’s thinking, to a point. It is your decision I cannot fathom.”
Cass was irritated, though she tried not to show it. Would she ever reach a point at which she no longer had to justify her decisions and actions to Jack and Jenny, or Louisa? “My life is dull and predictable, Jenny. I wanted to do something exciting. Something daring. Is that so difficult to comprehend?”
“Forgive me, Cass. I didn’t realize you were so dissatisfied.” Her apology sounded sincere, and Cass felt bad about her sharp response. “My fear is that at the conclusion of this, you will be hurt once again.”
“It may seem unthinkable to you, but I’m willing to take that risk.” Cass stopped walking and looked squarely at her friend. “Your life is settled. You know its course exactly. You will marry Jack and bear his children. You will be Lady Linford and take your place in society.”
“You make it sound so tedious,” Jenny said, scrunching up her face.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I know you and Jack want me to find a husband, because you think that is the path to happiness. I’m not convinced marriage will make me happy. I’ve been betrothed, and it led to heartbreak. I’m not sure I can go through it again.”
“But Bentley was ill. He was not right in his mind.”
“Wasn’t he? I don’t know. Perhaps it was my own failings that contributed to his breakdown. Something in me that makes me unsuitable for marriage.”
Jenny shook her head, then said, “I hope you know how preposterous that sounds.”
Cass lifted a shoulder, wishing this conversation would come to an end.
“Exactly what are you getting out of this arrangement, Cass? How will it benefit you?”
Cass wasn’t sure of the answer to that question. Although she’d all but sworn to Adam that becoming his lover and political advisor was all she wanted, she had doubts. It angered her that Jenny’s question forced her to confront them. Was she kidding herself? Why had she felt so lost and alone after they’d made love, if all she wanted was an affair?
Jenny was staring at her, and Cass knew she must answer. “I can’t explain it further. You will have to accept what I’ve already said. Now, may we speak of something else?”
“Of course. One more comment, and then I promise not to bring the matter up again.” She paused, and Cass could see her considering what she wished to say. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you don’t want love and marriage and a family. In fact, I don’t believe Adam, either. If he didn’t want to marry you, why did your name spring to mind during the discussion with his father? There, I’ve said it, and now I’m finished.” She inhaled deeply, as if she’d been waiting to draw breath.
Cass was stunned. How dare she presume to know Cass’s deepest feelings? And Adam’s? Jenny continued to chatter away, and Cass provided short, disjointed responses. As they neared the house, her friend said, “Why not come to Italy with Jack and me? We would love having you.”
Cass laughed. “Oh, yes, you would love having me on your wedding trip. Kind of you, dear, but no, thank you.”
“Many couples take family members, you know. It is not unusual.”
“I don’t want to risk my brother’s ire for the rest of my life, so I politely decline.” Cass linked arms with Jenny, appreciating her sweet nature and her desire to help. It was time to talk of less weighty topics.
“What are you wearing to the ball tonight?”
Chapter Nineteen
The end-of-house-party ball had been officially declared Adam and Cass’s betrothal ball. Adam had protested that they didn’t want the fuss, but he knew it was wise to go along with his mother’s wishes on this. Hopefully, hosting it here in Surrey would put paid to the idea of repeating the ordeal in town. And it would be beneficial to reacquaint himself with some of the more distinguished citizens who would be in attendance. He was sure Broxton would be joining his wife and daughter for the festivities, and it would afford Adam a good opportunity for an informal meeting with the man prior to the more official one.
After making love to Cass last night, it was difficult to focus on politics. Adam wished he could have revealed his true feelings to her, could have told her it had never been that good before. He’d lost himself in her. Nearly lost his soul. To his astonishment, her gratification had been paramount to him. But he couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t let her believe they could be more to each other than lovers.
Cass was distressed about the ball, as he knew she would be. He wasn’t sure he understood her reluctance, although he knew it was related to Bentley’s death. Someday he would insist that she tell him the story. The real story, not the one the gossips bruited about. “I danced with you at the Mainwaring ball, and you were perfectly at ease,” Adam had told her when she protested.
“Because I could go unnoticed. Practically. At this ball I’ll be the center of attention.”
Nevertheless, she had given in, and now they stood side-by-side with Deborah to greet their guests. For a time, the line seemed to go on forever, although Adam knew not that many people had been invited. He wanted to get the celebration underway so that he and Cass could open the dancing. Later he’d have a chance to waltz with her and hold her close. He was having trouble suppressing visions of her naked body, especially since her elegant ball gown showed off the tops of her creamy breasts.
“Adam,” his mother was saying. “You remember Sir William, of course?”
Of course…not. He’d asked his mother to be the first to receive guests for this very reason. He hadn’t seen the man for so long, he was afraid he wouldn’t recognize him. Broxton cut an imposing figure, tall with an upright posture, despite his somewhat dated style. His hair was powdered and pulled back into a queue, and his evening clothes would have been fashionable ten years ago. Not that Adam cared.
He thrust out a hand. “Sir William. Glad you could join us. We’ve been enjoying the company of your wife and charming daughter all week.” Broxton smiled stiffly.
“May I introduce my fiancée, Cassandra Linford?”
The older man turned to Cass and bowed. She curtsied and they shook hands. “Welcome, Sir William. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Adam had instructed her not to mention the election unless Broxton did. An awkward silence ensued, during which he seemed to be studying Cass.
“You’re the Viscount’s sister? Good man. I like him.”
“Yes, my brother is Viscount Linford.” She laughed nervously. Adam could sense her discomfort.
Finally Broxton said, “Must look around for my wife and daughter,” and quickly walked away. Cass turned to Adam, brows raised.
“He’s a somber old gaffer, isn’t he? Nothing much to say to any of us.” Adam wondered if he should read anything into that, but greeting the remainder of the guests distracted him, and he did not think about it again.
At last the flow of people dwindled, and Deborah conferred with the orchestra and announced the dance. Cass and Adam stood at the top, closest to the musicians. And the evening officially began.
…
After she and Adam had gone down the middle, Cass had a chance to truly survey her surroundings. He took her hand and pulled her closer so they could hear each other over the music. “The ballroom looks beautiful,” Cass said. “Deborah has outdone herself.”
“And it smells like you. Like roses. I told her they were your favorite. Deborah could do this in her sleep, I imagine.”
Still, Cass was impressed. The room had been aired and the wood floors polished. At the far end, the huge stone fireplace was festooned with greenery, which had been intertwined with roses and dianthus. Huge bouquets rested on every table, made up predominantly of roses. Pale pink, deep scarlet, yellow ones, white ones. Every shade imaginable. Candlelight glowed from the chandeliers and sconces, highlighting the gleaming dark wood paneling.
And every woman there showed to advantage in the soft glow.
“How are you feeling, Cassie?” Adam asked.
She shrugged. “Fine. This was never going to be easy. I knew that.” In truth, she’d been grappling with her feelings ever since her talk with Jenny earlier.
“Have I told you how stunning you look?” Adam’s eyes swept her from head to toe. Cass was wearing her new sage green ball gown with tiers of vandyked lace at the hem. The neckline plunged into a V, deeper than was customary for her and she knew her bosom pushed up provocatively. This was the dress that had caused her to row with Louisa. Cass’s only worry had been that the design would hide her scar, and the clever dressmaker had been able to achieve that.
The next set was a cotillion. Deborah had thought that the country neighbors would be more likely to be familiar with its figures and changes than they would for those of the quadrille, and Cass agreed. Her partner was Squire Remson, a very agreeable man who danced quite capably.
Adam had asked her before the ball to save the first waltz for him. After the cotillion, the squire had escorted her to the edge of dance floor to stand with Jack and Jenny. Cass had no idea where Adam was. She’d caught a glimpse of him dancing with Miss Broxton—she supposed he felt obligated to dance with her—and was now sneaking glances around the room to see if she could spot him.
Jenny distracted her. “It’s a lovely ball, Cass.”
“Yes.” Cass could hear the unspoken words. If only it weren’t such a sham.
Then she felt a hand at her back, and Adam was there. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “May I have the pleasure of this dance, Cassie?”
She could have melted, simply at his light touch at the small of her back, his breath at her ear, his nearness. A liquid warmth spread through her body, and she wished that she did not always have such a visceral and immediate reaction to him. It made thoughts of eventually separating from him all the more painful. But now was not the time to think about that, so she smiled and laid her hand on his arm.
