“Yes, I recall,” said Talon, fidgeting with the bracelet on his wrist. “And I was hoping I’d have thought of a solution by now, but I haven’t. I can’t bring a Guardian to our base, Deryn. It would cause pandemonium. Maybe we’d be able to get away with it if he were a lesser known Guardian, but he isn’t. Everyone knows Xander Ruby. He’s taken too many of our people’s lives.”
“I have not!” snapped Xander. “Yes, I’ve taken some but your people have killed just as many of my friends, if not more! For years I’ve only ever killed who I had to!”
“Who said you had to kill anyone?” said Nita.
“If it was my life or theirs then they had to go. That’s how war works.”
“You’ve killed innocent people.”
Xander scoffed. “No one fighting in a war is innocent. Don’t pretend all of your people are good and righteous while all of mine are evil. There’s good and bad people on both sides.”
The door to the radio tower opened and all of their heads snapped toward it. Relief filled the room as Rees, Lincoln and Izzy entered.
“How the hell did you beat us here?” asked Rees, plopping into a chair and breathing for perhaps the first time that day.
“We took a slide,” Talon said vaguely.
The three tunnelers blinked.
“We’ll explain once everyone’s here.”
It was a good two hours before the other five members of their party walked through the door. The moment they did, Odette kicked the desk holding the record player, knocking it to the floor. Then she punched the wall.
“So. Fucking. Close!” she screamed, tossing a few things around.
Everyone looked confused but Xander, who sniggered lightly.
“I knew the two of you wouldn’t come up with this whole plan to rescue me if you didn’t have your own agenda. Let me guess. Lona?”
Odette grabbed a book off of a table and threw it at him. Deryn instinctually swung her arm and whacked it away before it could make contact.
“She was right there!” Odette shouted while charging back out the door.
“If you told us what you were doing we could’ve gotten her away sooner,” Evangeline said to Neo.
“We weren’t going to risk it. If one of you got captured who’s to stop you from blabbing about the Guardian’s daughter trying to kidnap her sister?” said Neo. He sighed and held out his hand. “Earpieces, please. We need to get back. Make sure we’re seen by people so rumors don’t circulate.”
Everyone took out their earpieces and handed them over. When he reached Deryn, she shook her head.
“I don’t have it.”
“And just who does?” asked Neo.
“Someone on the inside.” She glanced at Talon. “It’s a long story, but I’m going to need one to communicate with them.”
Neo didn’t look pleased but still said, “Fine. We’ll switch our frequency.” He handed one of the earpieces to Deryn. Then he held down the button on a different one until a hologram of a keypad popped up. He entered a code, changed the frequency and closed it out. Then he handed that one to Xander. “Contact me if these people treat you like shit and we’ll come take care of it.”
Xander nodded and took it. “Thank you, Neo. I mean it.”
Neo nodded back, his eyes falling to the floor. “Our inside source contacted us on the way here. Someone was executed in your place.”
Xander’s chest tightened. The thought of someone else dying in his place hadn’t even crossed his mind. And with Luka being so close to him -
“Wyatt’s dead.”
Xander felt a small bit of relief, but then the guilt of that relief consumed him. While he may not have been as close to Wyatt, he was still a friend. A friend he’d had since childhood, and who’d clearly been chosen by the president to punish him.
“I want to hear about your escape,” said Neo, heading for the door. “Contact me tonight if you can.”
Xander nodded, unable to look one of his other childhood friends in the eye.
“Wait.”
Neo paused by the door and Xander attempted to stand. While Deryn helped him, Neo walked forward. The moment Xander was up and Neo was within reach, he swung his arm and punched him.
Neo stumbled back a few steps, blood oozing from his nose. He gripped the bridge of it and held his head back. “Dammit, Xander!”
“That’s for breaking your promise,” said Xander, slumping back to the floor as his hurt leg started to ache.
Neo laughed through the pain. “She’s a big girl, Xander. She wanted to help save you and we needed extra bodies.”
“For Lona, not for me.”
“If that were true then Lona would be the one sitting here, not you. She was a bonus we thought we’d try for and it didn’t work.” Neo sighed. “I need to go. Does anyone have a tissue I can stuff in this thing to stop the bleeding?”
Nita opened her pack and pulled one out.
He ripped it in half and stuffed a piece in each nostril, saying a congested sounding, “Thank you,” before heading for the door again. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re alive, Xander.”
“I’m glad no one died saving me.” Except Wyatt, who was completely innocent when it came to Xander and his deception.
“Holy shit. We’re all alive,” said Rees, looking around the room. “We went into the center of the city with two members of the most wanted family in Utopia, rescued a fucking Guardian from the top of the president’s flashy tower and the most anyone got was a bloody nose? How are we all standing here right now?”
“We’ve been touched by an angel,” said Neo. “It’s the only reasonable explanation.”
“It would’ve been nice if that angel made an appearance five fucking years ago when all our lives went to shit,” said Xander, resting his exhausted head against Deryn’s shoulder. It felt nice to close his eyes again without being shocked. But then images of Deryn being raped by his father began to play behind his eyelids and he quickly snapped them back open. The shock suddenly didn’t seem so terrible.
“Xander.” Deryn’s warm hands cradled his cheeks and he was forced to look into her sea-green eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m so tired,” he said, barely hearing Neo leave as Deryn’s screams echoed in his ears.
“Lie down then. Go to sleep.”
Deryn repositioned herself so his head could fall onto her lap. He closed his eyes but his breaths were ragged. She stroked her fingers through his hair but even that wouldn’t make the images disappear.
“Maybe you could play the song,” said Xander, pointing in the direction the record player had fallen when Odette kicked the desk.
Nita went to it. She checked to make sure nothing was broken before placing the stylus exactly where it needed to be for Blackbird to play.
“Izzy, while he rests would you mind looking at this?” asked Deryn, touching the collar still locked around Xander’s neck.
Izzy stepped forward and dropped to her knees. She tapped the button that sealed it. Nothing. “It doesn’t appear to be active,” she said. “I’m sure they never intended for him to be this far from the motherboard. Still, we should get it off of him in case there are some side effects. We have a saw that should be able to cut through it in the tunnels but ... well, we’ve never had to cut anything off a neck before and he’d need to stay very, very still.”
“I can do that,” Xander mumbled as he tried to focus on the music.
“Okay. We’ll be back then,” said Izzy, exchanging a nod with Lincoln and Rees.
The three of them headed for the door.
“So what exactly is the plan here?” asked Everett as soon as they were gone.
“Who are all these people?” Xander whispered to Deryn while the Resistance members discussed a plan, or lack of one.
Deryn leaned close and kissed his temple. “The three who just left are tunnelers who agreed to help. These three are Neetles’ team. They all trained with us at Eagle.”
“
Names,” he said, eyeing Evangeline from across the room. She kept eyeing him back ever-so-slightly, the trace of a question formed on her lips.
Deryn sighed and stroked her thumb across his cheek. “You know her name, Xander. Please, just sleep. I’ll tell you everything that happened later.”
He nodded. His throat ached as he looked at this girl who had just risked her life to save him. Evangeline Bellamy, granddaughter of Anna Bellamy, the woman whose neck he jammed a knife into as punishment for her part in Deryn’s escape. It was not the most recent life he’d taken, but it was the most recent innocent life. The last innocent life.
Xander closed his eyes while Deryn continued to stroke his hair.
“You two are quite intimate,” said Everett, glaring in their direction.
Deryn scowled at him. “I never tried to hide my feelings. Now why don’t you shut up and let him rest.”
“Excuse me.”
Everett rose from his chair, but Evangeline grabbed his hand and yanked him back down.
“For once in your life could you just keep your mouth shut?”
His cheeks flushed as Evangeline scolded him, his eyes diverting to the floor. “So what is the damn plan?” he asked again. “When they get back and saw that thing off, what the hell are we supposed to do with a Guardian?”
“Defected Guardian,” corrected Evangeline. “I’ve always been good at reading souls and his is good. He’s on our side.”
Deryn felt Xander tense beneath her touch as Evangeline said these words. So similar to what her grandmother had said about Xander only moments before he plunged a knife into her neck.
“I don’t think your soul reading is going to be enough to convince everyone he’s defected,” said Nita.
“Some might,” said Evangeline with a shrug. “You put me on your team because you trust my intuition.”
“Yes, but I don’t need convincing. I’ve thought he was on our side since we first met up with him.”
“He’s helped people on your side,” said Deryn, still stroking Xander’s hair as his breathing grew even. “More than just me. He’s helped Outsiders hiding in the city, and he has this function on his Element that makes it look like someone’s heart has stopped, but then they wake up like nothing ever happened.”
Silence.
“Isn’t that what they used to take you prisoner, Adrian?” asked Everett.
Adrian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Kinda.” He glanced at Xander, seemingly debating something.
Everett shook his head. “Strike one.”
“Hold on,” said Adrian. “We are keeping him in some form or other, aren’t we? There’s no chance of him going off on his own and being recaptured?”
Everyone looked at Talon.
“We’re not going to let him go off on his own,” he answered. “I was thinking he could stay here for now. Until we can convince everyone at the base that he isn’t a threat.”
“You want us to stay here alone?” asked Deryn.
Talon took a deep breath. “No, not you. Just him. And I’ll leave him with a guard.”
Deryn narrowed her eyes. “I really don’t think you’re understanding this ‘package deal’ thing, brother. If he stays here then so do I.”
Talon leaned forward and rubbed his temples. “Deryn, no. You’re needed at the base. You can come back here and visit him but you can’t -”
“I’m not leaving here without him.”
“Dammit, Deryn!” shouted Talon, sitting up straight. “When the hell are you going to ask me about Dad?”
“When I’m on my way to the base with Xander by my side,” she stated.
“I can’t bring him there!”
“Yes, you can! Clearly you’re in charge so just -”
“Could you not be selfish for just one fucking minute! Dad is sick, alright? He’s sick, and he doesn’t have time for this bullshit!”
Deryn’s eyes widened. “What?”
Talon sighed, his body relaxing. “He’s been sick for a long time. He found out five and a half years ago.”
She blinked, a few scattered pieces in her mind coming together. “That’s why he came for us.”
“Yes. That’s why he came, that’s why he started this fucking rebellion and that’s why after he’s gone we’ll still be fighting this damn war. He knew he was going to die and he refused to go until we were both safe. He still refuses.” Talon glanced at Nita, who nodded for him to continue. “He’s living on borrowed time right now, Deryn. He’s begged us to keep him alive until he has the chance to see you again, but he can’t walk, he can barely speak, he’s constantly falling in and out of consciousness. We’ve been struggling to keep him alive. Adrian’s girlfriend is a miracle healer but his borrowed time is running out. He’s living in constant pain. Deryn ... you have to go back, you have to see him ... And we have to let him go.”
Deryn’s head lowered. A tear trailed down her cheek as she stared at Xander, so full of pain even as he slept. She closed her eyes and more tears fell. “No.”
The air thinned as everyone watched her, no one moving a muscle.
“No,” repeated Talon, the word quiet and breathless.
“I’m not going to the base without Xander.”
“I don’t understand. How could you do this to -”
“To who? A man who came unprepared to a battle and started a fucking war? The Outsiders lost that day at Eagle because they weren’t ready. They didn’t have enough fighters, their plan was weak, but they came anyway, because their ‘leader’ was apparently dying and he couldn’t wait another fucking minute to get his children back.”
“But you were turning eighteen. He couldn’t wait another minute because he was thinking about everything you would be forced to do!” defended Talon.
Deryn rolled her eyes. “I was bound for the Government Lab, Talon. Not guard duty. I can’t imagine he didn’t know that. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I was actually kind of excited to work there. I wouldn’t have been terribly happy being trapped in those damn walls but I would’ve been okay. But that didn’t happen because of him and I ...” She paused and wiped away a tear. “I’m not okay, Talon. I’m not. I’m a mess and I’m broken, and now you want to take me away from the one person who makes me feel like I could someday be whole again, by sending me back to the man responsible for the five years of hell I went through.”
Talon closed his eyes. “Are you saying we shouldn’t have fought these past five years for our rights? For our freedom?”
“No. What I’m saying is there are casualties in every war, and in this war I’m one of them. If he needs to pass on then tell him I’m dead.”
“Deryn.”
“Talon.”
Xander’s hand stretched out and took hold of her wrist. Deryn jumped. She’d thought he was sleeping. She leaned in close to him.
“What is it?” she asked.
“You need to go to your father.”
“What?”
“He’s been fighting to get you back for five years. Even if you went to work in the Government Lab, the war still would’ve happened and you still would’ve been trapped on the inside. It was a long time coming.”
“But -”
“Don’t argue with me. I’m too exhausted for that. And stop being a dick to your brother. He already risked his life to rescue me and I can’t imagine he did so happily.”
Deryn huffed. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Der -”
“I’m not leaving you!” she shouted, prying his fingers from her wrist. She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. “I was a slave for five years and escaped only to be stuck in an apartment for six months. I’m sick of being told where I can and can’t go! If I want to stay where you are then that is what I’m damn well going to do. Now get some fucking sleep already!”
Xander glanced at Talon and shrugged before closing his eyes again. Talon cracked a smile.
“You wouldn’t leave me to go see your dy
ing father,” said Deryn, still pouting with her head against the wall.
Xander sighed. “Yes, but my father is a bastard. Which I’ve been reminded of nonstop for the past two days.”
“He didn’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
“The choice was your life or death, Xander. You would have made the same choice as him if it were my life on the line, and don’t you dare say you wouldn’t.”
“Why exactly are you defending him?” asked Xander, opening his eyes and knitting his brow.
Deryn shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t want you hating him because of me.”
“We should do a patrol of the area,” said Nita, getting to her feet. She knew the conversation was growing personal, and this was not something Talon needed to hear. “All directions. Adrian, go north, Evangeline south, Everett east., I’ll go west and Talon, get in the trees and watch the area around the radio tower. Get back on our regular two-ways and update every fifteen minutes.” She pulled an extra radio out of one of the drawers, turned it on and handed it to Deryn. “If you need us for anything.”
Deryn nodded as she took it and placed it on the floor beside her. Once everyone was gone, Xander sat up and leaned against the wall beside her.
“Why did you lie to me?” he asked with tears in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I thought about telling you the truth so many times but I just ... I couldn’t. Because I didn’t want things to change. I didn’t want you to not be able to look at me. Like now.”
Xander closed his eyes and let his tears fall. After several sobs, he opened them again and looked at her. Really looked. When she didn’t look back, he grabbed her chin and forced her to stare into his eyes.
“I love you,” he said. “Nothing will ever change that.”
“I love you, too.”
“No more lies.”
She nodded. “For both of us.”
He nodded.
“How badly are you hurting right now?”
“Physically, I feel like hell. Mentally, I’m somewhere much deeper and more painful than hell. Is there a supreme hell?”
“It’s called uber hell and it has many levels.”
Arise (Cruel and Beautiful World Book 3) Page 9
