by Jessica Gunn
“I’m glad to see you’ve woken, Mr. Hallen,” he said as he entered the room.
“Where am I?” I asked. Somewhere in Boston, for sure. But how far from Headquarters?
Oh, fuck. Did Jaffrin get a call? Did he know I went out on my own? I wasn’t sure who I was more afraid of disappointing in that regard: Sandra or my boss.
“Boston General,” he said. “You were brought in last night with extensive injuries from a fight downtown. You’re very lucky the women you saved thought to call the authorities.”
I cringed. “That bad?” It sure felt like I’d gotten my ass kicked.
The demons’ faces flashed across my vision along with pieces of memory. Glimpses into our conversation… about Riley and Lady Azar. About them working for her.
I had to get out of here. Screw what Jaffrin would think or do when he found out I’d gone out on my own without authorization. I’d discovered what I’d joined the Fire Circle for all along: information regarding Riley. Poor information, sure, but it was better than the absolute zero amount of clues Jaffrin had cooked up over the past two months.
The doctor nodded. “Yes. You suffered quite the concussion, so expect to see side effects from that for a while. Your ribs are also fairly bruised. Multiple cuts and lacerations. We can discharge you today, but I want you to follow up with your primary physician tomorrow morning.”
I nodded. “Will do.” Might as well add that to my to-do list at Fire Circle Headquarters when I got out of here. I’d tell Jaffrin about the demons first, then visit the infirmary since that’s probably where he or Avery would be sending me anyway.
“Good,” said the doctor as he smiled. “And your girlfriend should be here within the hour to fill out your paperwork for you. You’ll be home later today.”
My heart stopped, coldness sweeping through me. “Girlfriend?” Oh shit. Sandra knows.
“Yes, Ms. Sandra Williams?” he asked. When I nodded he continued. “We called her first thing this morning; we found her number in your cell phone as your emergency contact. She’s worried about you, so I’m sure she’ll be here soon.”
I gulped. This would not go well at all.
And I was right. When Sandra arrived forty-five minutes later, she didn’t speak a single word as she worked with a nurse on the discharge paperwork. And when the nurse finally left us alone so I could get dressed, Sandra sat in the chair on the farthest side of the room from my hospital bed and stared. No words said, she just looked at me.
I had to say something. And it had to be the right something.
Except there was nothing right about this. I’d tried to tell her the truth before and she’d waved it off. And instead of proving this whole magik and demons thing to her in some other way, I’d kept it a secret.
“Sandra.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t bother.”
“You have to hear me out.”
“No, actually, I don’t,” she said. “You said you were working.”
“I was.” At least that part wasn’t a lie. Not really.
Finally, she looked at me. “And you just happened to get into a fight to keep two women from being assaulted?”
“I mean, yeah.” Was it so hard to believe I’d try to be the hero? I was a quarterback for eight years in high school and college. It was my job to be the hero.
But that wasn’t what she’d meant.
“They said you mumbled something about demons in the ambulance ride over,” Sandra said. “They asked me if you were a religious type. I lied.”
I swallowed hard. She knew I didn’t give a damn about religion. “Please, let me explain. I found information on Riley and—”
She jumped up from her chair and swiped at the air in anger. “Don’t you dare talk about him right now. I swear to God, Ben. I am done with this.” She gestured between us. “You’re going off the deep end. We’ll talk about that at home. Right now, all I want is for you to get dressed and for us to leave this hospital. Can you handle that without saying another word?”
I nodded numbly, my heart shattering.
All of this was my fault. All of it.
If I’d just told her about my powers early on. If I’d had Rachel confirm it. If I’d been strong enough to take Lady Azar’s people when they came for Riley.
All I could do was nod and follow Sandra’s lead and not speak the entire way home.
We took the commuter rail back to our town and Sandra drove us home. When we pulled into our driveway, it was like I was seeing the house for the very first time. Weeds had grown up around the house and trees, what flower beds once existed on her parents’ second home were now infested with plants. My car sat unused in the garage, dirty and with a flat tire.
The house inside was clean except for the living room, where empty take-out containers were strewn on all the furniture with the exception of the couch and TV stand.
I limped into the living room and cleared off a spot for myself on the recliner, which had been covered in dirty clothes.
In the months since Riley’s kidnapping, neither of us had functioned well. Sandra least of all. And instead of helping her, instead of being there for her, I’d gone off following my first real lead at the whim of a stranger in a suit at a bar.
I closed my eyes, creating a dam to hold back tears that threatened to spill over. The events of last night screamed into horrible focus, and suddenly, my utter stupidity screeched in front of me.
I could have died. Like, really, really died. And then what would have become of Riley? Of Sandra? Of what little family I’d left behind?
“I called your cousin,” Sandra said as she plunked into the couch. “Rachel should be here soon to help you pick up your things.”
My heart screamed to a stop. There was no way I’d heard her right. “My things?”
Sandra fell back against the couch and crossed her arms. “Yes, Ben. I think we both know what’s going to happen next.”
I did. It was obvious at the hospital. But she couldn’t do this, could she? I was closer to getting Riley back than I’d ever been. I just needed more time, more training.
But Sandra didn’t know that. She hadn’t even believed me when I’d showed her my powers.
“Sandra, please, hear me out,” I said.
She lifted an eyebrow. “You have an explanation for last night?”
I nodded as determination swept through me. My fists curled along with the renewed courage. “It’s the same as before, Sandra. I told you the truth two months ago.”
She shook her head slowly, eyes narrowing with disbelief. “That you have magic powers and demons stole our son because of it? How do you expect me to believe that, Ben? You don’t believe in demons. Or God. Or any of that bullshit.”
“Because these demons aren’t born from the Bible, Sandra. It’s a long story, a rather boring one actually, but it’s all true. I showed you my magik. You’re the one who chose not to believe me.”
Fire flashed in her eyes and she stood from the couch in a jagged, fury-filled moment. “I chose not to believe you? You! Ben, I’ve been here alone, dealing with our son being kidnapped alone, because you ran off. If that’s your way to deal with your guilt or anger or whatever you’re feeling—because frankly, I have no fucking clue—fine. Do what you need to. But you know what I think you need? A therapist. Someone to talk to since you won’t talk to me. And when you do, all you do is spin stories about magic and fantasy. Well, guess what? This is reality. You need to leave this house. Today. So we both can survive this…” Her ferocious glare broke and she looked to the ceiling, right up through the second floor, at Riley’s nursery. “And move on.”
Move on? How could we move on? It’d only been two months. That wasn’t long. We could still find him—I would find Riley and that was that. “We can’t give up hope, Sandra.”
She squeezed her arms around her chest tighter. “I’m not giving up, Ben. But I am moving back home. I need to be with my parents. And you need to f
ind a way to deal with this. A real way.”
“I am. I promise.” I stood, too. “Do you need me to show you my powers again? When Rachel gets here—she has them, too. I’m not lying to you about that.”
“But you lied about where you were last night,” Sandra said. Not a question.
“Only about what I do for work. I was working. I was on patrol.”
She sighed, a heavy exasperation. “Patrol for what?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. The truth would only sound like lies to her, but if this was ending, if our relationship was over and only up for question again upon successfully finding Riley, then the truth was what she deserved. Whether she’d believe it or not. “Demons. I was patrolling for demons, looking for information about the ones who took Riley. And I did find some. I ran into two demons looking for more people to send to—”
Sandra held up her hand. “Collect your things, Ben.”
My heart felt like it was being torn to pieces, my love for her in her hands and she was squeezing it dry. I loved Sandra. I wanted to marry her. To be Riley’s father. To always be by Sandra’s side.
But it wasn’t enough. Not in the face of our son’s kidnapping. Not when juxtaposed with this war between good and evil.
“I’m telling you the truth.” The words came out small, weak. Useless, much like how I felt.
She nodded in small motions, arms still crossed over her chest. “I believe you are, Ben. But I’m not sure if it’s the actual truth or the truth you’re choosing to put faith in. And until I know for sure, until Riley is—” She gasped, sobbing as tears streamed down her face.
I wanted to go to her side. To hold and comfort her. But my feet remained planted to the floor. Sandra didn’t want that support anymore. Not from me.
Sandra straightened and inhaled deeply. “Until Riley is back, until you figure out your stuff and your truth, I can’t be with you. This is too much. I just picked you up from the fucking hospital, Ben. The hospital.”
I wiped away my own tears. Traitorous bastards. “I know.”
She shrugged, nodding, a confused mix of signals and feelings. “Then please just let this happen. For now. We can’t live like this anymore.”
I glanced up at the ceiling, crying, biting my cheek to keep from speaking all the wrong words or any words at all.
Sandra was right. This was not living. This was existing inside of a cloud of pain and hurt and lying. A cycle of distrust and guilt.
“No,” I said. “We can’t. I’ll go collect my things.”
Sandra didn’t say anything as I walked past her to the stairs and began climbing them one painful step at a time. When I got to the first landing, I turned back to her.
“I will find him, Sandra,” I said. “Whether you believe me or not, I’ll take down the demon who took Riley and I will return him to you. I promise with everything that I am. I love you, Sandra.”
She didn’t respond to that, and we didn’t speak as I packed up my things and waited for Rachel to show up. When she did, I asked Rachel to bring me to the commuter rail.
I was headed back to Boston, determined to find my son.
Chapter 15
I pushed open the front door of Ella’s Café at exactly 9 a.m. For once in a very long time, I’d not been late for something. That deserved a gold star, surely, but after Sandra had kicked me out, I’d settle for a single moment of peaceful thoughts.
Rachel and Amanda must have gotten here sometime before me because they already sat at a table with steaming mugs of hot drinks in their hands. I crossed the small café, its beige walls and 70s-themed décor threatening to swallow me whole. My black eye had faded some, but my face throbbed as if it hadn’t been days since that fight in the alley.
Maybe they wouldn’t notice.
I made my way to their table and slid into the chair next to Rachel with a wave. “You two got here early.”
Amanda’s eyes brightened and she rushed out of her chair to hug me. I squeezed her tight before flagging down a waitress for a cup of coffee.
“Way to disappear off the face of the planet,” Amanda accused. She was smiling, but her eyes narrowed. I hadn’t really talked to anyone, Rachel’s parents included, more than absolutely necessary since Riley was taken. I’d dodged both Rachel and Amanda’s calls, skipped family dinners. They must have thought I’d run off searching for Riley.
I ran my hand over my buzzed hair and down the back of my neck. “Yeah, uh, I’ve been busy.”
“Depressed,” Amanda corrected.
I shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. “And pissed off. I know I went MIA on you guys, but I’m back this time.”
“You never should have run,” Rachel said as she swiveled toward me, one arm on the table. “We’re always here for you.”
“I know.” The waitress came with my coffee and set it down in front of me. Just the scent alone was enough to wake me up after the non-existence I’d had since ending things with Sandra. “Thank you,” I told her.
Amanda looked up at me with watery eyes. “Ben?”
“Hey, none of that,” I said.
She sniffed and wiped a fallen tear with the back of her hand. “But he’s just a baby.”
My fists clenched, my heart twisting, but I wouldn’t let Amanda see more of a reaction than that. I had to protect her from this, all of this. If the demons wanted Riley, what’s to say they wouldn’t come after her, too? “I know, Amanda. I’m sorry I let you down. That I let him down.”
Rachel reached a hand to my arm and squeezed. “You didn’t disappoint anyone. You were jumped. What were you supposed to do?”
I threw back a swig of coffee, suddenly wishing this mug was filled with something stronger, and slammed the ceramic back onto the table. “According to Sandra, I was supposed to do everything I didn’t. I let her down and because of me, Riley is gone.”
Rachel rolled her eyes and scoffed. “She wasn’t there.” A pause. “Wait a minute, are you two…?”
I nodded, wringing the handle of the mug with my fingers. “Yeah. It’s over. Even if they find Riley. I… don’t blame her. There was a lot of miscommunication between us.” As in, I’d joined a demon-fighting organization because our child had gotten targeted for a reason no one understood. You know. The little things.
Rachel’s gaze found mine knowingly, like she somehow sensed everything that’d happened was about more than me being jumped. I hadn’t had time to tell her the truth in between my benders, overnight stays at hotels, and general wallowing in self-doubt. I should have told her sooner.
This was the mantra of my life.
“Hey, Amanda,” Rachel said, not turning from me. “Why don’t you go ask someone for a full pot of coffee and a food menu?”
Amanda looked from Rachel to me and back again, her eyes wrinkling. “I’m not a kid. Whatever you need to say, I can handle it.”
“It’s not about Riley,” Rachel said. “Go, please. I need to talk to your brother.”
Amanda shook her head but left the table anyway, glancing over her shoulder every few steps.
As soon as she was gone, Rachel said, “Spill.”
I closed my eyes. Rachel deserved the truth. I only hadn’t told her all along about the Fire Circle because I’d wanted to make sure they were legit. And then… then I’d gotten lost in the thrill of it all. The promise of finding Riley. “I met a man a few weeks ago, after Riley was taken, who told me he knew which demons were responsible.”
“Demons,” she echoed, her face deadpan. “Ben—”
“He runs the building we went to in Boston, Fire Circle Headquarters. The one that burned down,” I said. “He’s the head of a group of demon hunters, some of which have magik. He said he could help me learn to control my lightning and help me find Riley at the same time. How could I refuse that?”
Rachel shook her head slowly. “I don’t understand what this has to do with Sandra kicking you out.”
“I went demon hunting without my training team,” I said as
flashes of the demon attack crossed my mind. I still smelled the wet ground and nearby trash dumpsters, dank and disgusting. “And got in over my head.”
“As per normal,” she said, but there was a hint of a smirk on her face. “And Sandra found out?”
“No. She got called to the ER to pick me up.”
Rachel eyes widened as she gasped. “Ben!”
“I know, okay? I know.” I leaned back from the table. “It wasn’t the smartest move. But I killed one of the demons. I got someone who knew about the guy who took Riley.”
She leaned in closer. “Killed? What’s going on?”
I turned toward her and lowered my voice to keep anyone else from hearing. “The Fire Circle trains people like you and me to fight demons. Some high-up demonic organization stole Riley. The Fire Circle doesn’t know why, but they’re fairly certain they can help me recover him.”
“While learning about your magik,” she said slowly. “You realize how this sounds, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah. And do you realize that what we saw on Castle Island is just as strange?”
She swallowed hard, turning her gaze on Amanda at the hostess table. “So is that the secret to our powers? We have them because we’re meant to fight demons?”
“I honestly don’t know. All I can count on is the fact that this guy, Jaffrin, sought me out. He wants to help find Riley. And all I have to do is rid Boston of those assholes who steal children and kill innocents. I think I can do that for a while. Not like I have anything better to do.” College was over. So was the only relationship I’d ever known. And if I never found Riley and brought him home safely, I’d never forgive myself.
“I think you have a hero complex,” Rachel said dryly. She tipped her head toward Amanda, who was now making her way back. “You can’t ever tell her.”
“Wasn’t planning on it—unless she suddenly gets powers,” I said.
Rachel nodded. “Good. That’s a hell of a talk to give someone.”
She wasn’t kidding. Until I’d first set foot in Fire Circle Headquarters, I wasn’t sure I believed any bit of it. And now… now I knew exactly what I was up against.
