by Amanda Cabot
Elizabeth’s professors had warned their students about the dangers of physicians treating their own family, pointing out that it was difficult to maintain objectivity when dealing with loved ones. They had not, however, mentioned patients’ potential reaction.
Elizabeth shook her head as she crossed Capitol Avenue. One more block, and she’d be at her office. And, if her prayers were answered, Gwen would realize that she didn’t need Lady Meecham’s or any other tonic.
Her fear that Harrison did not find her attractive had no foundation. Every time he looked at Gwen, the man appeared smitten, but either Gwen did not notice his occasionally lovelorn expression or she refused to believe that she was the object. Harrison had obviously wanted time alone with Gwen at the park, but it appeared that whatever they had discussed while they’d strolled around the lake had not allayed Gwen’s worries. If only those two would admit their feelings. Surely that would resolve Gwen’s concerns and keep her from buying another bottle of tonic.
Gwen had vowed that she wouldn’t drink anymore, and Elizabeth knew she was serious when she made that resolution, but whether she could adhere to it was questionable. The manufacturers were clever when they concocted their so-called remedies. The high alcohol content dulled pain and created the illusion that the medicine was healing the patient’s ailment. That very same high alcohol content also encouraged dependence. That was good for sales of the patent medicine, but it was most definitely not good for those duped into drinking it. Though Elizabeth hoped Gwen would be strong enough to withstand the siren’s call of the bottle, she was realistic enough to know that she could not stop her friend. All she could do was pray that Gwen had the strength she needed.
Elizabeth smiled as she rounded the corner onto Central, knowing the buildings would block the wind for the final yards to her office. She could tell that a few tendrils of hair had come loose, but a minute in front of the mirror she kept in her kitchen would remedy that. By the time her first patient arrived, she would once more be well-groomed.
Elizabeth raised her eyebrow at the sight of a carriage parked in front of her office. When she recognized it, her pulse accelerated. There was no mistaking the Eberhardts’ buggy, but Miriam wasn’t scheduled for an appointment this morning. Elizabeth practically ran the short distance to the carriage.
“You’ve got to come.” Delia leaned out, her lips pursed with worry. “Miss Miriam needs you.”
“What’s wrong?”
“She’s bleeding, Doctor. I’m mighty worried.”
So was Elizabeth. Bleeding was never a good sign, and it was particularly worrisome during pregnancy. Miriam’s baby wasn’t due for more than two months. If she delivered now, chances of the infant’s survival were not good. “When did the bleeding start?”
“Less than an hour ago.”
At least Miriam hadn’t been losing blood all night. As quickly as she could, Elizabeth unlocked the door to her office. When she had packed everything she might need for a delivery, she returned to the carriage and climbed in next to Delia. “You could have gone to my home. That would have saved a few minutes.”
“I did,” Delia replied. “You’d already left. Mrs. Amos wasn’t sure which way you were walking, so I had Roscoe bring me right here. When I saw that your door was still locked, I checked with Mr. Nordling. He said you were usually in your office by now.”
Most days she was, but today Elizabeth’s worries about Gwen had kept her home later than normal. She could only hope that the delay had not harmed Miriam.
Within minutes, Roscoe had parked the buggy in front of Maple Terrace and ushered Elizabeth inside. As she hurried up the stairs to Miriam’s room, Elizabeth couldn’t help remembering the first time she’d been summoned here. Then her patient had had diphtheria. Today could be equally dangerous.
Elizabeth gave a perfunctory knock on the door before entering. When she was inside, she kept her expression calm.
“What’s this I hear about bleeding?”
“Oh, Doctor, I’m so scared.” Miriam’s pallor and the trembling of her hands underscored her fears.
“It may not be serious. Some women experience this occasionally.” But a quick examination revealed that Elizabeth’s optimism was misplaced. Miriam’s bleeding was cause for concern, particularly when Elizabeth could not find the source. With nothing to clamp or suture, all she could do was try to stanch the flow.
“My baby. Is my baby going to be all right?”
Though she wanted to assure the expectant mother that everything would be fine, Elizabeth could not. She settled for telling her the truth. “I’ll do my best. I’m encouraged by the fact that you’re not having contractions. The longer your baby remains in the womb, the better for both of you.” Miriam’s pulse was thready, but that was to be expected, given the loss of blood and her fears. “Your baby’s heartbeat is regular.” Elizabeth wouldn’t mention that it was fainter than she would have liked. “Now all we have to worry about is stopping the bleeding.”
It took longer than Elizabeth had hoped, but eventually the flow ceased.
“What caused it?” Miriam asked when Elizabeth assured her that she and the baby were no longer in danger.
“I’m not sure.” How Elizabeth hated admitting that! “There’s still much we don’t know about the human body, especially women’s bodies. What I do know is that you’ve lost a lot of blood. You need to regain your strength.” Miriam nodded slowly, her green eyes solemn as she regarded Elizabeth. “I want you to stay in bed until the baby is born,” Elizabeth continued. When Miriam started to protest, Elizabeth held up her hand. “I know you’ve probably planned to attend parties and other gatherings, particularly as we get closer to Christmas, but I’m afraid they’d be dangerous. You should not exert yourself at all, and you most definitely should not climb stairs.”
Miriam closed her eyes for a second, making Elizabeth wonder if she was trying to stop tears from falling. “My parents will be upset,” she said. “Their Christmas Eve party is the highlight of the season, and I know they wanted Richard and me to be there. I hate disappointing them.”
Elizabeth suspected it was Amelia Taggert’s disappointment and possible disapproval that Miriam feared. The few times she’d met him, Cyrus Taggert had impressed Elizabeth as a rational man and a doting father who’d put his daughter’s health above all else.
“Your baby’s life and yours are at stake,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Surely that’s more important than a party.”
“You’re right.” Nodding slowly, Miriam extended her hand. “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll do as you said.”
Jason was whistling when he left Mr. Ellis’s shop. Though he had had little opportunity to sample the confections that were reputed to be as delicious as the baked goods he and Elizabeth enjoyed, Jason had just purchased a box of candy for her. He smiled as he looked down at the box with its jaunty ribbon, hoping Elizabeth would be pleased by the gift. Flowers, books, and candy, he’d been told, were suitable items for a man to give the woman he was courting.
There were few flowers in Cheyenne at this season, and Jason knew Elizabeth had little time to read. That left him with one choice: candy. And, judging from the relish with which she ate dessert, he suspected it would be a welcome gift. Though he was tempted to take it to her right now, Jason had decided not to give it to her at the office. Perhaps it was foolish, but the candy wasn’t for Elizabeth the doctor. He’d bought it for Elizabeth the woman. While he wasn’t certain she saw the distinction, he did. Though he’d begun this temporary courtship to help Elizabeth the doctor, it had been Elizabeth the woman he’d kissed, and it was Elizabeth the woman who haunted his thoughts.
Half an hour later Kevin Granger’s voice interrupted Jason’s perusal of the divorce papers he was drafting for Nelson Chadwick.
“Do you have a moment, Jason?”
“I always have time for you,” he answered with a broad smile. The widower was one of Jason’s favorite clients, a man he wouldn’t mind having as a f
riend. “Come in.”
Kevin stretched his long legs out in front of him as he settled into the chair Jason had indicated. “I was in town getting some supplies and I figured I should let you know that I’ve been thinking about what you said. It was good advice.”
“What advice was that?” Though they’d discussed a wide range of subjects in the two times they’d met, the only advice Jason could recall offering was that Kevin should name a guardian for his daughters.
“You told me children need two parents and that housekeepers are poor substitutes for a mother.”
Jason nodded as he remembered how didactic he’d been that day. “I didn’t mean to preach at you.”
“I reckon you come by that naturally.” Kevin shot a wry smile at Jason. “I don’t mind admitting that at first I was kinda riled by the idea of marrying again. No one can take Ruby’s place, and it irked me that you’d suggest it. But then I realized you weren’t saying that I should replace her. A new woman—a new wife—wouldn’t take Ruby’s spot in my heart. She’d have her own.”
That was what he had meant, though Jason wasn’t certain his words had been as eloquent. As he recalled, he’d been a bit pompous, certain he knew better than Kevin how children should be raised. The day he’d gone to the ranch had shown Jason just how wrong he’d been. Kevin knew far more than he did about what children needed, and—more importantly—he was giving it to them. Jason doubted any of Kevin’s daughters would ever question her father’s love. “It sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.”
Kevin shrugged. “The first steps, anyway. I hired a man to help with the sheep so I’d have more time with the girls, and I took them to church on Sunday. You were right again. Folks welcomed us.” Kevin grinned at the memory. “A couple of the ladies were especially welcoming. One of them, a widow lady with a boy of her own, invited us to supper this week. She’s watching the girls right now.”
It was a beginning. A good beginning. The fact that Kevin had opened his heart and mind to the idea of a second wife so quickly was more than Jason had hoped for. “I’m glad for all of you.”
“There’s no tellin’ how it’ll work out, but it’s a start. I’m mighty obliged to you for the advice.”
“I’m glad I could help.” The truth was, all he’d done was plant seeds. Kevin had nurtured them.
Kevin leaned forward, his smile turning into a conspiratorial grin. “I’m gonna give you some advice in return. You oughta find yourself a gal of your own. There’s nothing like the love of a good woman to make a man’s life complete.”
Jason was still thinking about Kevin’s advice as he approached Elizabeth’s house that evening. He hadn’t spoken to her all day. In the morning, she’d rushed off to the Eberhardt house before he could greet her, and he hadn’t seen her return. She must have, for she’d left him a note, probably while Kevin was in his office, saying she had to make a house call and would go home from there.
A full day without Elizabeth. Jason hadn’t realized how much he looked forward to the time they spent together until it had been taken from him. Without Elizabeth, today had seemed like a stew without seasoning. While it might provide sustenance, there was little flavor and no pleasure in tasting it. Fortunately, he had a way to add savor to his day. The candy gave him an excuse to see Elizabeth.
“Good evening, Jason.” Gwen smiled as she opened the door. “Elizabeth didn’t mention that she was expecting you.”
“She wasn’t.” He looked around, surprised when he didn’t see her. She had told him that normally she spent the hours between supper and bedtime in the parlor. “Is she home?”
“Yes.” Gwen nodded at her daughter, who was playing with her doll. “Tell Aunt Elizabeth that Mr. Nordling is here.”
Rose scampered off to do her mother’s bidding, and a few minutes later Elizabeth emerged from her room. Surely it wasn’t his imagination that she looked different, that her shoulders were slumped and her smile a bit forced.
“Is something wrong?” Elizabeth’s eyes were troubled, as if she were expecting bad news.
“No,” Jason was quick to assure her. “I just wanted to see you. Would you like to take a short walk?” Though the night was cool, the wind had diminished enough that they could walk and talk. In private. It was probably foolish, but Jason wanted to be alone with Elizabeth when he gave her the candy.
For a second, he thought she would refuse, but she did not. “That sounds wonderful,” she said softly. As she reached for her cloak, she turned to Gwen. “I won’t be long.”
Jason waited until they reached the bottom of the stairway before he spoke. “I missed you.” He crooked his arm so that Elizabeth could rest her hand on it.
“I missed you too. It was a difficult day.”
He’d guessed that much from the almost haunted expression in her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I can’t.” He heard the regret in her voice. “You know I can’t discuss my patients any more than you can tell me about your clients.”
But she wanted to. He took comfort from that realization. Perhaps Elizabeth the doctor and Elizabeth the woman weren’t as far apart as he’d feared. Perhaps one day she’d recognize that she was a woman first, a doctor second. But that day, Jason knew, was not today.
Sensing that she needed cheering, he stopped and looked down at her, hoping she’d see the amusement in his eyes. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today,” he said in an overly melodramatic tone. “One of my clients shocked me.”
“What did he do?”
“I’m not sure you’re ready for this revelation. You’d better hold on to my arm.” When she tightened her grip, he pretended to frown. “Are you ready?” She nodded. “All right. Here it is: he took my advice.”
Elizabeth placed her free hand on her chest and feigned astonishment. “You’re right. That is shocking. Truly shocking.” Amusement colored her voice as she said, “I do hope you didn’t admit that to him.”
“Of course not. I had to be professional.”
Her expression sobered again. “That’s what’s been worrying me.”
“You don’t think I’m professional?” Jason surmised that she meant nothing of the sort, but he had to do his best to cheer her.
“It’s not you. I’m worried that I’m not as professional as I ought to be. I try not to, but I’m afraid that I’m making a classic mistake and am becoming emotionally involved with my patients.”
Miriam Eberhardt. Though Elizabeth had mentioned no names, Jason was confident that it was Miriam’s case that worried her today. Or maybe not. There had been something unusual in Elizabeth’s expression when she’d spoken to Gwen. Though the woman did not appear to be ill, Elizabeth had seemed worried about her.
“I imagine it’s difficult not to become involved,” he said slowly. “The reason you became a doctor was to help people. You care about them.”
“Perhaps too much. In school they warned us about the dangers of becoming too close to our patients. The professors told us to keep a balance, that we couldn’t let our patients become part of our lives. They said we must separate our personal feelings from our responsibilities as physicians.” Elizabeth looked up, the confusion evident in her blue eyes. “I’m not sure I know the difference anymore. I’m a doctor, but I’m also a woman. I don’t know where one stops and the other begins.”
To Jason the distinction was simple. Being a doctor was nothing more than Elizabeth’s profession. Just as he would still be a man even if he did not practice law, Elizabeth would be a woman even if she never treated another patient. The problem was, she was so tightly focused on her career that she didn’t seem to realize that.
They’d been walking steadily north and were now opposite Barrett Landry’s mansion, the house where Elizabeth’s sister Charlotte and her son would live when she and Barrett returned from the East. Jason guided Elizabeth across the street, stopping in front of the handsome three-story brick building.
“Perhaps I can help
.” He pulled the box of candy from his pocket and offered it to her. “This is for Elizabeth the woman.”
Her eyes widened in apparent pleasure when she read Mr. Ellis’s name on the cover. “Oh, Jason!” Elizabeth untied the cord and gave the chocolates an exaggerated sniff. “Do you know, this is the first time anyone’s given me candy?”
He tried not to let his surprise show. Surely someone had given this beautiful woman chocolates, and yet the fact that no one had could be the reason why she had so much trouble separating her profession from herself. It appeared that no one had treated Elizabeth like a woman.
That part of her life had just ended.
20
She hated November. If her mother were still alive, she would say it was foolish to hate a month, but Tabitha knew better. November was the most boring month of the year. The wind had begun to howl. It snowed occasionally. Worst of all, there were fewer parties than during any other month. Tabitha could not think of a single good thing about November. And that idea of setting aside a special day to give thanks was downright ridiculous. There was no reason to thank God or anyone else for the things she’d received, when they were the result of her own cleverness.
Tabitha looked around the room she had designed as her private retreat, her eyes lighting on the elaborate mantel. Not only had the marble been brought all the way from Italy, but Nelson had even hired Italian craftsmen to carve it. This room was beautiful. No one in Cheyenne would deny that the whole house was magnificent. Tabitha’s clothes were some of the finest in the city, her collection of expensive jewels unsurpassed. But all that beauty had come at a price.
For once the splendor of her royal purple and gold room failed to soothe her, and Tabitha frowned as she admitted that the price she’d paid was more than she had bargained for. Living with Nelson had been worse than she’d imagined. At first he’d been a cheerful, easily biddable man, but now he was as gloomy as a November day. He refused to discuss anything that interested her, and he seemed annoyed when she didn’t care about the latest order that the lumber company had received. Why would she care about pieces of wood? The only thing that mattered was how much money he was making from selling that wood. It was no fun, no fun at all, being married to Nelson Chadwick, especially in November.
