Goose bumps broke out over the back of my neck and raced down my spine. I nodded and gripped the wheel even tighter.
His palm slid down the side of the wheel until his hand brushed against mine. “Hey, you want me to drive?”
His touch didn’t shake me. Maybe it should have.
Yeah, it definitely should have.
It felt good. It felt right. It calmed me down.
“I’m good now. Sorry,” I said, my words hoarse.
The pad of his thumb brushed across the back of my hand before his arm disappeared back into the backseat.
Deep down inside my jeans, my ball sack tingled.
“Oh my God!” Joey gasped and fell back.
I stole a glance to the side. She was plastered against her seat with a hand pressed against her chest. Dark curls spilled around her very pale face, and her eyes were wide as saucers.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Took about ten years off my life, Drew!” she fussed. “Guess I didn’t need them anyway.”
I couldn’t help it. Her smartass acceptance of my almost deadly behavior made me smile. “Something tells me you got plenty of years left on that engine.”
Her smile was fast. “You know it.”
I held out my fist between the seats, and she pounded hers against it.
“Thanks for being my navigator tonight.”
“We make a pretty good team,” she replied.
“Hells yeah.” If there was one thing I learned with absolute clarity tonight, it was Joey Gamble was a woman I’d drive with any day of the week. She was definitely someone I’d want on my team.
She settled back against the seat, and I became aware of Trent’s distance. He was no longer leaning up between the seats. His oversized palm was no longer taking over the side of my seat. I glanced in the rearview mirror, and our eyes collided.
He was sitting in the center of the bench seat, a pinched, sour look on his face.
Just before he looked away, I thought I saw a shade of bleakness move through his gaze and, along with it, a flicker of hurt.
The rest of the ride passed in silence. I kept a white-knuckled grip on the wheel and forced my focus to remain on the present, on the road.
We made it to the hotel Joey was staying at about thirty minutes later. The Mustang slid to a stop right under the awning near the entrance.
“I’ll walk you up,” I said and unbuckled the belt.
“That’s not necessary.” She waved me back.
I didn’t listen. There was no way in hell I wasn’t going to at least see her to her door after everything that happened tonight. I’d already been enough of a dick; I didn’t need to make it worse.
Besides, I couldn’t be sure some of Lorhaven’s goonies wouldn’t be staking the lobby out, just waiting for a chance to get her alone.
I left the engine running but leaned back in the driver’s door and into the dim backseat. “I’ll be right back.”
Trent didn’t say anything even though I waited for him to.
Joey was on one of the top floors, and I insisted on riding the elevator up with her and making sure she got inside. The ride up was silent but charged, and I assumed it was because she was pissed I insisted on escorting her.
But when she opened the door to her room and motioned me in first without a hint of any hostility, I started to wonder if I was imagining things.
Fuck, this entire night was jacked up.
I walked through her entire suite, checking the place out. I was more thorough than I really needed to be. Clearly, she was safe here. This was the best hotel in the town and the security was top notch. Ron Gamble wouldn’t allow his daughter to stay anywhere less.
I needed the few minutes of quiet checking her bedroom and bath afforded me. I needed the air. I needed the minute to try and pull myself together, because I felt like I was coming apart.
I’d never felt so twisted up inside. And at the same time, so pissed.
I didn’t know how to handle it.
Usually, I’d get in the car and drive, but I’d been driving all night, and I felt worse now than I had before.
“All’s clear,” I told her, stepping back into the small sitting room.
“Thanks for checking,” she said as she kicked off her boots.
“Hey,” I said, stepping up close. “I’m sorry about tonight. Putting you in danger was the last thing I wanted to do.”
She tipped her head back and looked up, a sardonic grin twisting her lips. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I had fun?”
I laughed. “I like you.”
Her teeth flashed with a wide smile. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“You know you like me.” I teased.
“You’re the first guy in a long time who isn’t afraid to actually spend time with me. Most guys are so scared of my father I get treated like china.”
“Your father’s the one who told me to drive with you.” I pointed out.
She laughed. “I’m pretty sure tonight wasn’t what he had in mind.”
I grimaced. “Maybe we could keep that little adventure between us,” I whispered conspiratorially.
“It’s a shame,” she mused and turned away.
I caught her arm, my brow furrowing. “What is?”
She glanced down to where my hand held her and back up. Her eyes softened a little. “That you’re already taken.”
“Taken?” I felt my nose wrinkle. “I’m not taken.”
She looked a little sad. “Oh, but you are.”
“Honey,” I drawled. “I’m as single as a dollar bill.”
“With lines like that, it’s no wonder.” She laughed and tried to pull away.
I pulled her back, this time a little harder than before. She stumbled against my chest.
“I don’t see any other girls hanging around. Do you?” I rumbled.
Both her palms slid up my chest and stopped just below my collarbone. “Girls? No.”
The way she said that… My head drew back. “What?”
“Nothing,” she murmured and pulled away.
Frustration made me growl. “Uh-uh.” I grabbed her around the waist to push her up against the wall. “Tell me.”
“Kiss me.” It was spoken with clear challenge.
I lifted an eyebrow.
She lifted one in response.
I didn’t ever back down from a challenge.
Without another word, I cupped her jaw in my palm and splayed my fingers across the back of her neck. I watched her as I leaned in, slowly lowering my face, letting her anticipate my arrival.
Just as her tongue jutted out to wet her lower lip, to prepare for my kiss, I jerked forward. I caught her lips and the tip of her tongue in my first touch.
I slid my lips over hers as her tongue drew back, and we kissed softly at an unhurried rate.
It was a good kiss.
More sensual than heated.
And then it was over.
She pulled back, her head going up against the wall. Still holding her face, I searched her eyes.
“That’s what I thought.” She sighed.
I felt my eyebrows shoot up. “Which is?”
She slid out around me and stepped into the room. “For someone so smart, you are incredibly dense.”
“Spit it out already,” I snapped, feeling surly. This was the first time ever a woman didn’t seem completely thrilled with my kiss.
“You’re not interested in me, Drew,” Joey said, blunt. “I think you want to be. But you’re into someone else.”
“Did you hit your head tonight when I wasn’t looking?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be an asshole.”
“All right.” I played along. “Who is it you think I’m into?”
This ought to be good, considering she was the only other person I’d been hanging out with besides Trent.
Realization smacked me in the face. She saw and nodded.
Oh shit.
“Tr
ent and I are just friends,” I stammered. “Best friends.”
“You almost killed us all tonight after seeing him at a gay bar with someone else.”
“He lied to me!” I shot out.
“And who are you lying to, Drew?” she asked softly, her voice a complete contrast to mine.
The question was like an uppercut to my jaw. I felt my head snap back.
“Tell me our kiss made you want more,” she goaded. “You might be able to lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. That was lukewarm at best. A kiss between friends.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. She was right. That kiss was nothing I wanted to repeat. But that didn’t meant I was hot for my best friend.
Joey crossed to the door and palmed the handle.
“Kiss him,” she suggested. “Just once. I haven’t been around you two long, but it’s been long enough. One kiss is all it’s going to take. The second you do, you won’t be able to deny what you and I have is friendship, but with Trent?” She pulled open the door. “It’s way more.”
“I’m not gay,” I echoed as I walked numbly out into the hallway. I was oddly shocked by this conversation.
When I glanced back at Joey, she smiled softly. “Neither is Trent.”
The words hung there in the empty hallway long after she’d closed the door.
Trent
Things were changing. Shifting so fast I felt as though I were grasping at smoke. I couldn’t grip the way it used to be, the way I wanted it to be still.
Things were changing.
They would never be the same again.
Drew
He was sitting in the passenger seat when I got back in the Mustang.
I didn’t look at him. He didn’t look at me.
There was all this… stuff between us.
Anger.
Confusion.
Lies.
I drove to my place, thankful for once that everyone was gone for the weekend. I didn’t think I was ready for the conversation we were about to have. But if I waited until I was ready, we would never have it.
As freaked out as I was right now, the idea of not talking was even worse. It scared me to my core to be at odds with Trent.
He was my person. The one I always wanted to be there.
I’d never allowed myself to think about in what way I wanted him to be there. But avoidance went out the door when I saw him at the bar with another guy.
I didn’t like it.
No, I hated it with soul-searing passion.
In the driveway, I cut off the engine and palmed the keys. I didn’t look back to see if he followed. I knew he would. There was no way all the tension filling the air was one sided.
It was time.
I tossed the keys on the table by the front door, kicked off my shoes, and made a beeline for the kitchen. For lack of a better idea, I put on some coffee.
The front door rattled when it closed behind him, and I felt the tension between my shoulder blades intensify.
My hands were shaking. It was painfully obvious as I poured the water into the back of the machine. I no longer knew why they were shaking, though, or rather which emotion inside me was making them quake.
Too much.
There was just too much inside me right now to understand which emotion was strongest.
“We need to talk about Lorhaven,” Trent said, stepping into the kitchen.
“Fuck Lorhaven.” I snarled and slammed the coffee pot onto the burner.
“You told me you wouldn’t go around him alone anymore,” he argued.
“And you told me you had a frat thing tonight.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed with the force of his swallow. My eyes watched candidly as it moved with his attempts. “Drew.”
A million.
That’s how many times he’d said my name.
One.
That’s how many times he’d said it like that.
Something in my chest collapsed. It literally crumbled to pieces.
I leaned against the counter, needing something to support my weight. “Why did you go there?” I forced the words, my tone husky.
Trent rubbed a hand over his face and then slung his thumb in the pocket of his jeans. He looked everywhere but at me—the floor, the ceiling, the shoes still on his feet.
I looked only at him. I had to look. I had to see.
I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for, but I was positive I’d know it when I found it.
“You went to a gay bar on the other side of town,” I pressed. I couldn’t take the silence. “You lied to me about it. Why?”
“I…” His voice trailed away.
“Did you think I wouldn’t accept you?”
His hazel eyes snapped up to mine. For the first time in what felt like eons, his golden gaze was there for me to take in. “No.”
“Then…?”
“I just wanted to see, okay?” he rushed out.
I held his eyes. “See what?”
He shifted, shuffling from one foot to the next, before answering. “I’ve always wondered… about myself. About the way I feel. It’s confusing… to feel one way but know it should be the other. So I conformed. I did what was expected.”
His eyes took on a desperate note. “It wasn’t that bad… Until… It’s getting harder…” He cleared his throat and looked away.
“Until when?” I pressed.
He didn’t answer, and it made me impatient. “Until when, Trent,” I demanded, harsh.
Goddamn, this was killing me. I couldn’t take another second of this… this… unknown.
“Until I met you!” he burst out. His arms spread wide with the force of his exclamation.
A flush spread beneath my skin. Desire. And something else.
Possession.
“From the second you sat down beside me at Screamerz, I felt a connection with you. At first, I thought it was just friendship… you know, the kind Rome and B have. But it’s not. Not for me. It’s more…”
There it was. The words I’d been waiting to hear.
It seemed like I’d been waiting way longer than just tonight to hear this confession.
Deep down you always knew, too.
The thought caught me off guard. But I couldn’t deny it. I didn’t have time to think about it, to try and make sense of the feeling, though, because Trent kept talking.
“I went tonight because I wanted to see, I thought I could maybe try out a few… things and see if it made me less confused.”
He shifted again. It’s odd how his nervousness drew me. How predatory it made me feel.
Hearing him say these things… it made me insane.
“What things?” I ground out.
He glanced up, as if he hadn’t realized what he said. “What?”
“You wanted to try out a few things,” I replied. “What things?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he exclaimed and went to push a hand through his hair. But he couldn’t because the backward hat was still perched there. He settled for making a frustrated sound in the back of his throat.
“Kissing,” I said, and his eyes flew up to mine. “Touching.”
As fidgety as he was just seconds ago, now he was equally still.
I lowered my voice. “Is that what you wanted to try?”
He nodded miserably. “I thought maybe—”
He didn’t get to finish because an angry sound ripped out of my throat. I pushed off the counter, and his eyes widened when I stepped forward.
“You went to some bar full of strangers so you could pick out a guy to hit on and fool around with?” Oh my God, just the thought of it brought back all the anger I felt in the Mustang.
“Well, yeah.” He shrugged.
The image of him sitting at the bar with the lumber lame-o assaulted me once more.
Everything inside me rejected it. I rejected just the thought of Trent with that guy—with any guy—so forcefully that my hands started shaking all over again.
“No,” I growled.
Trent bristled. “No?”
“No.” My voice sounded like gravel.
“Look, man. I get you’re pissed. And I get this conversation sucks, but you don’t get to tell me what to do.”
I felt my eyes narrow. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not sitting over here getting all pissy about you and Joey.”
I drew back like the room suddenly filled with a bad fart. “Me and Joey?”
He nodded. “I catch your vibes. You were flirting with her in the car tonight. She has a total lady boner for you.”
I snickered. “You said lady boner.”
His lips twitched, but then he crossed his arms over his chest and this look came over his face… a look I was pretty sure I would see reflected if I looked in a mirror.
Jealousy.
He was jealous of Joey, and I was jealous of every stranger he would consider… trying things with.
“Try with me.” My words were abrupt.
His hazel eyes widened and the arms crossed over his wide chest fell to his sides. “What?”
“You want to try with a guy. See what it’s like… Use me.”
Temptation flashed in his eyes, and it made me hungry. It made me feel like I’d been starving for a very long time and didn’t even know it.
Temptation gave way to resolve.
“No,” he replied, flat.
“Why the hell not!” I demanded.
“Because you’re my best friend.”
“You said there might be more.” I shifted a little closer.
He didn’t back up.
“What about you, Drew?” Trent’s voice was tentative. “Do you think there might be more?”
Here it was.
The moment of truth. The moment I had to be honest with myself.
A sudden surge of panic slapped me in the middle. I’m not ready. I’m not ready for this. I’m not as brave as Trent.
And Trent was brave. In that moment, he was the bravest person I’d ever met.
He took my silence for decision, and his shoulders slumped just a fraction as he turned away. “It’s okay, man. I get it.”
“Wait,” I said and caught his wrist.
Both of us paused and glanced down to where I held him. He felt strong and solid beneath my grip. Not delicate and fine-boned like all the women I’d bedded in the past. Trent was warm and sure. He was a net strong enough to catch me. Strong enough to take my fall.
#Junkie (GearShark #1) Page 16
