by Vivian Arend
It was a normal, ordinary evening out dancing with good friends. The only change was that he had a pretty woman he wanted to call his by his side most of the time.
A number of the ranch hands were there. Ginny accepted their invitations to dance, coming back each time to Tucker with amused updates.
“Some of them are buttering me up in order to get on your good side,” she said with a grin, stealing a long drink from his beer. “You okay with this?” she asked, leaning in close so she didn’t have to yell over the music.
“Being here with you, or you dancing with other guys?”
“Both.”
He shrugged. “You like to dance. As long as they’re respectful, I’ll put up with it tonight.” She blinked in surprise. “They’ve got questions. Some of them are probably double-checking you’re okay with what’s going on. They’ll be happier hearing it come from you.”
She curled her arms around his biceps and squeezed for a moment. “You’re smart. And you’re right.”
“I’m smart, yet I also fucked up royally.” Tucker saw Alex making his way over and gestured to the man. “Dance with him. I need to talk to your brother.”
Ginny frowned. “I told Luke—”
“This isn’t about us,” Tucker assured her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and turned her toward Alex. “Go. Dance.”
Alex raised a brow. “That’s incredible timing.”
“Don’t be a jackass,” Tucker told him.
Ginny snickered. “Come on, Alex. I have questions for you.”
Now Alex was the one who looked worried. “Tucker, what are you getting me into?”
“Not me. This is all her,” Tucker drawled. He watched them dance away and slid farther to the right to where Luke and Kelli had taken possession of a low table. He hauled a chair next to his friend and sat down close.
He leaned back, watching Ginny as she laughed with Alex.
His position put him close enough that his head was only inches away from Luke’s. “Thank you for being a whole hell of a lot smarter than I was a few minutes ago.”
Luke stretched his arm along the back of Tucker’s chair and leaned in even closer. “You’re my best friend, and if we go outside right now, I will rip your spleen out through your throat.”
“You would try to rip my spleen out,” Tucker corrected him. “I’m still a better fighter than you. But I should’ve given you a heads up, and I’m sorry.”
“What the hell,” Luke complained. “You’re lucky Kelli clued in faster than me what kind of trouble it would make if I threw a fit in public.”
“That’s what I’m apologizing for,” Tucker explained. “Dammit, this was supposed to be a gentle transition into people seeing Ginny and I as a couple.”
“Good job. There is no doubt whatsoever that you have a thing for each other,” Luke said dryly. “How long?”
Damn, Tucker really didn’t want to say nine years. “Long enough that we know we like each other.”
His friend laughed. “You’re such a fucking bullshitter. Answer the damn question. When did you start up with my sister?”
Reluctantly Tucker told the truth. “Remember the year Ginny called from the bar because Dare decided to hold a wake for her family and things were getting out of hand?”
Luke leaned back, exasperation in his body as he shook his head. “Holy crap, man. Seriously? That long ago?”
Tucker shrugged. “She told me it was something she really wanted, and since we were both grown-ups—”
“Don’t give me the details,” Luke complained. “Because I don’t want to know.”
Tucker stayed silent. Not much else he could say in that moment.
Luke took a long drink of his beer, then shook his head, leaning in to continue to curse Tucker out. “Christ. Not once in the past nearly ten years you felt like you should tell me?”
“What was I supposed to say?” Tucker asked seriously.
Luke made a face. “How about ‘I like your sister’?”
They’d been friends for too long. Instinctively, Tucker responded the way he would’ve to any other prompt. “Luke, I like your sister.”
His friend grimaced. Then his lips quivered, and his eyes rolled back in his head. Then he full on laughed, smacking a hand on Tucker’s shoulder a touch harder than a friendly good-old-boy pat. “You’re such a jackass. Fine. I’m glad you like my sister. Good luck dealing with her because while she’s one of the most wonderful people I know, she is a fucking handful.”
“Thank you for not blowing a gasket and making things tougher for me and the whole apprenticeship deal.”
Luke shrugged and took another pull on his beer. “What you should be thanking me for is the fact that I’m not going to beat you up later.”
“You mean you’re not going to try to beat me up.”
His friend shook his head disbelievingly. “You didn’t tell me you slept with my sister.”
Ginny was back. Settling, of course, into Tucker’s lap. She glared at her brother. “For fuck’s sake. We already talked about this. Leave Tucker alone. Besides, I talked him into it. It took three hours before he caved.”
Luke blinked then glared at Tucker. “Why did it take that long? Didn’t think she was good enough for you?”
Delight rolled in hard. “Now you want to beat me up for not sleeping with her fast enough?”
“Sounds about right,” Luke agreed.
Ginny sighed, a huge, exasperated thing. “Luke.”
Tucker was so stinking amused. “Is there any scenario in your brain where I don’t get beat up?”
Luke considered for a moment. “Not that I can see.”
Kelli outright laughed. She shoved at Luke’s shoulder then gestured to the dance floor. “Come on. Instead of threatening to beat people up, we’ll burn off energy on the dance floor, deal?”
“Brilliant.” Ginny was on her feet, hauling Tucker after her. She spoke to Kelli on the side. “Dinner at my place tomorrow for the four of us, yes?”
“We’ll be there with bells on,” Kelli promised.
Then Ginny was back in Tucker’s arms and everything was right with his world.
The music turned slow and soft. As Ginny swayed in his arms, she looked thoughtful. “I hope that went better than expected.”
“I screwed up,” Tucker admitted. “I know Luke doesn’t have an issue with us being together, and he’s not really talking about sex. But I did blindside him. We’re best friends, and until now, we've shared about the important things in our lives. That’s on me, and I’m grateful he reacted in a way that keeps things rolling forward with this new job. I’m grateful he’s my friend.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have teased you into moving too fast.”
No way. “Goddess, you do things to my brain that I don’t expect, but you’re not responsible for my actions. I’m an adult, and if I can’t think things through a little harder before I act, that’s on me. Never you.”
She dipped her chin. “Okay. I still feel a little guilty.”
“Well, feelings are feelings, but I’m saying you need to remember it’s not your fault. And in the end, things turned out fine.” He twirled her a little closer, savouring the feel of her body’s heat. “Let’s focus on that part, okay?”
She twisted her head to rest it on his shoulder, swaying comfortably against him. “Okay.”
A great evening on the dance floor turned into an even better evening in Ginny’s bed. Tucker caught himself whistling as he crossed the distance between her cottage and the barns the next morning.
Of course, if he’d wanted an example of how fast the rumour mill operated, he had it in spades. As he grabbed a cup of coffee in the mess hall, more grins were aimed his way than usual. A few hours later, he turned the corner in the barn and came face to face with Dustin, who was definitely not wearing a grin.
“We need to talk,” Dustin said gruffly, staring accusingly at Tucker.
Tucker pulled
in his patience. He was pretty sure the topic wasn’t Dustin’s chore list.
The young man was the little brother Tucker had never had, and while there were enough years between them that he’d spent more time quasi-babysitting than having deep heart to hearts, he also knew what it had been like growing up in the Stone family.
Hell, Walter Stone had been the one to explain the birds and bees to Tucker, his own dad having zero interest in answering those types of questions.
No—scratch that. Deb Stone had gotten in the first round of information, much to Luke and Tucker’s youthful embarrassment. His summertime mom had discussed the logistics of the deed in clear black and white. She’d not only told them most women needed clitoral stimulation to climax, she’d told them to watch women-friendly porn if they needed tips.
God, Tucker could still hear her voice, and his cheeks heated at the memory.
Sex with the right person is fun, but it comes with lots of responsibilities. If you’re both enjoying yourself, then you’re doing it right. If you can’t figure out how to make sure she’s happy first, stick to using your hand.
Walter had followed up, clearly amused as all get-out at their flushed faces. He’d given them each a box of condoms and the strict admonishment to never go without.
Dustin would have been too young to have had his parents explain the facts to him, but the next generation? Caleb had a healthy sense of right and wrong when it came to sex. Neither Luke nor Walker had been hound dogs, but they hadn’t been dismissive of the women who enjoyed getting together with the men on the circuit. Tamara didn’t seem the wilting-flower type when it came to straight truths and facts.
Blunt it was. Tucker figured if he considered himself a substitute Luke at this moment, things would work out fine.
“I can’t believe you never said a word about you and Ginny getting together for all those years.” Dustin’s frown deepened. “I can’t believe you thought it was a good idea to sleep with her.”
“Why?”
Dustin paused. “Why what?”
“Why wasn’t it a good idea? We’re adults. We spent time together in a way that made us both happy, but private enough it didn’t need to be shared.”
If ever a man seemed uncomfortable with a topic of conversation…poor Dustin all but twitched. “But you shouldn’t have slept with her unless it meant something,”
“Now you’re digging yourself a hole.” Tucker gave the young man his driest possible glare. “You’re saying no one should ever have sex until they’re in a long-term, committed relationship like marriage?”
Dustin was more indignant than embarrassed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Are you saying that your sister isn’t allowed to make responsible adult decisions about whether she has sex with someone who cares enough to make sure she has fun and stays safe? Do you think she shouldn’t have sex, period?” Tucker paused but didn’t give up, because this was a point about more than the sex. “I really hope you can untangle your brain around this one, because Ginny and her friends need to make choices that are right for them. Fitting their behavior into some antiquated ‘men can enjoy sex, but women who do the same thing are whores’ idea just makes you look bad.”
Dustin looked as if he were debating between crawling into a hole or punching Tucker in the face. Or both at the same time.
Before the kid could decide, Tucker shrugged. “Also, I wasn’t just having sex. It definitely meant something.” He paused. “But if nothing permanent comes of it, we still did nothing wrong. Understood?”
“Stop being all reasonable. You’re making me twitch,” Dustin complained.
“Sorry to be the voice of reason, but this is important. Both in how you treat Ginny and how you deal with this in the long-term.”
“I’m not going to call her names,” Dustin insisted.
“No, you’re smart enough to know she’d kick your balls through your spleen if you did. But this isn’t just about Ginny. Great that you know better than to insult your sister.” Tucker looked the young man over. “You know enough to not insult other women? Or better yet, you ready to tell any of your friends who are being jackasses and making rude comments to stop, even if it’s not your sister involved? Because when I see that, I’ll know you’ve learned this lesson.”
Dustin sighed, his shoulders all but caved in. “You’re right.”
“Of course, I am,” Tucker said dryly, hiding a smirk when the kid’s head snapped up to see if he was kidding around. Then Tucker deliberately raised his arm and examined his watch. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Dustin noted the time and swore softly, snapping upright. Before he took off at a sprint, though, he paused and met Tucker’s gaze straight on. “You’re okay.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Tucker meant it.
The kid was already gone, probably now doubly scared that he’d be late for work.
Life was damn funny at times, Tucker thought. Ginny was totally going to get a kick out of knowing Dustin went to bat on her behalf, misguided as it was.
Tucker headed back to his own unending to-do list.
Once again, whistling.
18
Ginny stared at the hard cover journal in her lap. She stroked her fingers over the surface then slowly opened it to a clean page.
Pen in hand, she started writing, fully aware that she’d chosen a spot about a third of the way through the book. Deliberately avoiding page one. The same way she’d still avoided reading the opening pages of her mother’s journal.
She shoved all that aside and put pen to page.
I’m dating Tucker Stewart.
* * *
Even writing that makes me feel squiggly inside, because I think back to all those notes I used to write to Dare, gushing about how handsome he was. How strong and muscular—and that’s when my teenage brain couldn’t quite understand exactly what fun all those muscles could add to a relationship.
* * *
It’s been a week since we officially became a couple in public, and things have gone quite well. No trouble reported yet from Tucker in terms of smartass remarks from the men. My brothers have all been strangely well behaved, the mystery of why solved the other day when I discovered Tamara’s younger sister Lisa had, at some point in the recent past, laid bets that Tucker and I would become an item in the future.
* * *
That woman is freaky. Based on nothing but stories she’d heard over the years, she somehow put two and two together and made a hundred bucks. She’s either very, very smart or very, very lucky.
* * *
Anyway, I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to write in this journal. I’ve read through some of the stuff mom wrote, and it wasn’t a daily here’s what’s happening/here’s what needs to be done kind of thing. More about the aha moments, I suppose.
* * *
So what’s my aha reason for writing today?
* * *
I like dating Tucker. He’s sinfully sexy, and any time we can get physical, it’s hot and yet special. But being with him has become about more than sex.
* * *
I catch him looking at me sometimes, and I just want to ask him what I can do to make him happy. I hate that his parents weren’t there for him when he was little. I might hate that my parents died when they did, but I got to have them for some very important years. His parents aren’t dead, but for how much impact they had on his world, they may as well be.
* * *
I am a tangle of emotions.
* * *
Maybe that’s my aha moment today, because I’m very happy about many things, and still so confused about what the next step is.
* * *
How did you decide, Mom? How did you know when it was time to change direction in how you guided us? To let us fly or to guide us back to the nest a little longer?
* * *
How did you know you were making the right choice?
She stared at the page a little
longer, suddenly aware that the fire in her stove was dying. That she still had breakfast dishes in the sink, and that in spite of everything that was going well in her world, she was on the edge of tears.
What the hell?
Ginny gave herself a firm scolding. “Damn, you’re mopey. You need to get some energy tea brewing and snap out of it.”
Only one cup of tea later, when she was still feeling cranky, Ginny wrapped herself up and headed to the barn, climbing into the hayloft and dropping herself into the Operation Prove It headquarters.
Sunlight beamed in through the old window, turning the bales golden brown and lighting up the small space like a cathedral.
She laid back on the pokey surface, not even caring that she’d forgotten to bring a protective layer. She just stared at the rafters overhead and slowed her breathing as she listened to the distant sound of voices and animals. The rattle of feed pails, doors opening and closing, the occasional neigh or burst of laughter.
Familiar. Peaceful.
A soft creak on the floorboards brought her to a half-seated position as Tucker slid into the space and settled beside her. He rested his hands on the bales then sat quietly.
Ginny slipped her fingers over his. “Hey.”
“Hey. Everything okay?”
She shrugged. “I feel unsettled.”
He made a soft noise then picked her up, cradling her in his lap as he braced his feet on the center bale and leaned back. “Makes sense.”
“Really?”
“Goddess.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You forget what day it is?”
Ginny considered. “Wednesday?”
Tucker rocked her softly as if they were in some sort of giant easy chair. “It’s February tenth.”
