Bird nodded. It certainly was.
35
HELP
Tan let the warm water of the bath surround him. He had no feeling left. He didn’t care if he lived or he died. Bird had meant something to him. He could relate to her, and she’d cared enough about him to seek him out, listen to his story, clear his name and save his life. Nobody except his mother had cared this much about him. But Bird had cared, and now she hated him. And Cody. His soulmate. He’d killed him with his slingshot. It had taken Tan three tries — the animal was quick — but he’d gotten him with the fourth rock. Between the eyes. And he’d been happy about it. But only for a moment.
PAUL ARRIVED AT THE BARN as Julia and Bird were scrubbing themselves, fully dressed, in the wash stall. Soap was everywhere. They were wearing rubber scrub gloves on their hands and singing “Rubber Ducky” at the top of their lungs to break the tension.
Both saw Paul at the same time, and gasped guiltily at his expression.
“It wasn’t Cody,” explained Julia.
Paul’s puzzled expression intensified. “What wasn’t Cody?”
“Sorry!” Bird said. “One minute while we rinse ourselves off.” They stood under the shower until the suds disappeared, then Julia turned off the water. Bird grabbed two big towels and handed one to her little sister. She told Paul how Tan had shot a coyote with his slingshot, a coyote he thought was Cody. “He feels so bad,” Bird explained, “that he actually said he wants to get help.”
Paul listened carefully. “This could be a very significant event.”
Bird nodded. She certainly hoped so. “Do I tell him that it was a wild coyote?” she asked. “If he knows he didn’t kill Cody, will he decide he doesn’t need help?”
Paul thought about it. “I see your point.”
“But we have to tell him sometime,” said Julia. “Otherwise he’ll never trust us again.”
“I wasn’t going to not tell him. It’s just when and how.”
“Let’s see how things are going at the house,” suggested Paul. “Then we can decide how to deal with it.”
Bird inhaled deeply as they headed down the lane, taking in everything around her. This was her last day at Saddle Creek.
She admired Sunny and Charlie as they grazed contentedly in the front field together. Bird felt at peace amidst the rolling green fields, the scent of the vibrantly coloured flowers and the sound of birdsong. She thought of all the things that made her happy. Winning at the horse show with her beloved horse, being surrounded by people whom she loved, having helped solve a mystery. Knowing that Cody was still alive. Knowing that Tan was going to get help. She sighed again.
We really showed them today, Bird.
I had a great time. Thank you.
I like to win, Bird. I’m glad we won.
Me, too.
You admit it now?
Yes, of course! But we’ll never win if we forget why we’re out there.
I know, I know. To have fun. You’re getting boring.
When they entered the house, Lucky jumped on Paul and wagged his tail. “Down, boy,” he commanded.
Why do you still jump up on Paul, Lucky? You know better.
Because he expects me to.
He tells you not to.
He doesn’t mean it.
Bird smiled and patted his head. Smart dog.
Hannah was at the sink making a salad. “Wash up, folks! Eva and Stuart will be here soon.” Then she saw Julia and Bird, soaking wet. “Oops. I guess you girls don’t need a bath.”
“We washed the dirt and coyote germs off,” said Julia.
Hannah stopped what she was doing and turned to face her. “Coyote germs? That’s a little insensitive, Julia. Cody was far more than a coyote, he was like a pet.”
Julia didn’t say anything. Bird looked around the kitchen. “Where’s Tan?”
“Upstairs in the tub. Why?”
Bird told her about the mistaken identity.
“Thank heavens,” said Hannah with a huge smile on her face. “That sweet animal. We would’ve missed him so badly.”
“But here’s the problem. How do I tell Tan?”
“Good question,” Hannah answered. “We have to do this right. Mack Jones is dropping by shortly to talk to him.”
“Did you call the hospital?” Bird asked.
“Yes. And they’ve been in touch with CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto. They’ll take him in. Alison Wedger has been wonderful, too. She’ll be here tomorrow morning to drive him down to the city.”
“Is Tan okay with all of this?” Bird worried.
“He knows it’s the right thing, and the right time.”
“I’m glad he’s getting help.” Bird choked on her words and wiped away a tear.
“We’re all glad.” Paul turned for the stairs. “I’ll go up and make sure Tan knows what socks to wear. He can’t have my argyles.”
“I’d never give him your argyles!” Hannah teased.
When he’d gone, Hannah’s expression turned wistful. “You’re going home tonight, girls. I’ll miss you both. I’ve loved having you here with me.”
Bird and Julia hugged their aunt tightly.
Bird was deeply sad to leave. She loved Hannah. Hannah was a good and kind and strong person. She’d looked after her and raised her while Eva was learning how to look after herself, and had always done her best for Bird, even through very difficult times. This holiday had reminded her how much she felt at home here among the horses and the farm work. Life in the country suited her.
“Can you babysit us again some time, Aunt Hannah?” Julia asked.
“Of course! I want you here every chance I get,” Hannah answered. “Maybe you girls can stay forever. Oh my heavens, I will miss you!”
Hannah and Bird and Julia were locked in their hug when Stuart and Eva walked through the door.
“I guess my girls weren’t too much trouble,” Eva said with a sniff.
“Aren’t we lucky?” Stuart quickly put his arm around her waist. “We can go on holiday anytime, and never worry.”
Eva smiled tensely. “We are lucky. I’m glad Julia and Bird love their Aunt Hannah so much.”
“We love you, too, Mom,” said Bird, recognizing their mother’s insecurity.
“We love you more,” Julia enthused.
Paul came down the stairs and greeted Eva and Stuart. Then he turned to Bird. “Please come upstairs. Tan needs to talk to you. Now.”
Bird took in Paul’s expression with a sinking feeling. Something was very wrong. Julia would have to deal with Eva’s issues alone. She ran upstairs and went straight into the bathroom. Tan lay in the tub, covered in luxurious bubbles. His eyes were red and swollen.
“Bird,” he said,as soon as he saw her. “Cody was a wonderful animal. He should be alive right now, and I should be dead.”
Bird put the toilet seat down and sat. “Tan, listen to me.”
“No. There’s nothing you can say.” Tan’s voice was oddly calm — not like the other times he’d been angry or upset. “Paul said not to worry, but I can’t help it. It’s over. I don’t want help, Bird. I’m too tired. I don’t have the energy.”
Bird gazed at Tan’s haggard, ravaged face. She felt his exhaustion. She could only imagine how daunting the prospect of rehabilitation was for him.
“Do you have the energy to go back into the woods?”
“No.”
“I understand, Tan.”
“I don’t know how you can.”
“Trust me, it’s one thing I’m good at.”
“But I killed Cody.”
Bird hesitated before she spoke. “Tan,you did an awful thing. You were mad at Cody, and you aimed your slingshot between his eyes, where you knew a stone would kill him.”
“You’re right.”
“And you told me you’d get help.”
“Yes.”
“Because you can’t control yourself, right?”
“Right.”
>
Bird took a deep breath and plunged in. “It turns out that it wasn’t Cody that you killed.”
Silence.
“You killed a wild coyote.”
Silence.
“An innocent, wild coyote. He followed you around, thinking that you’d lead him to food. You thought he was Cody. He wasn’t.”
Silence.
“You killed a coyote, Tan. Just not Cody.”
“I killed a coyote, but it wasn’t Cody?” Tan blinked, trying to understand. “I didn’t kill Cody?”
“You did not kill Cody.”
“He’s still alive?”
“Yes.”
“It wasn’t Cody,and you didn’t tell me!” Now Tan was shouting. Oddly, Bird much preferred this emotion to the flat, lifeless tone he’d been using before—at least he cared enough to yell.
He continued. “I can’t believe you’d be so horrible. Cruel, Bird! You let me think I killed Cody and you knew I didn’t? I hate you!” Tan thrashed angrily in the bubbles, sending soap all over the bathroom.
“I thought it was Cody! I didn’t know until later.”
“When did you find out?” Tan peered at her disbelievingly.
“When Cody showed up. I thought it was his ghost.”
“You didn’t!”
“I did.”
“That’s stupid! There’s no such thing as ghosts!”
“Well, I thought it was his ghost, and then I realized it was him.”
“You’re crazy.”
“As crazy as you?”
Tan became quiet. He made circles in the water with his hands. “I am crazy. I’ve been crazy for a while. I don’t know why.”
“But you’re going to get help, Tan. Your mother is coming.”
Tan began to cry. “I want to see her. I haven’t seen her in a long time.”
Bird noticed someone at the bathroom door. It was Hannah. Bird quietly moved to the door and whispered, “Mrs. Wedger should come tonight.”
They looked at the bathtub, where Tan was quietly crying.
Hannah nodded. “She’s on her way from Toronto. Paul had the same thought, and already called her. Mack sent a cruiser, and he’ll ride back down to Toronto with them.”
Bird turned back to Tan. “Hang on,” she said softly, as she returned to her perch on the toilet. “I’ll wait with you until she comes.”
Alison Wedger arrived within the hour. Her tired face was kind and intelligent, Bird thought. And beautiful.
Tanbark stumbled to her as she walked in the door.
“Mom,” he cried as he buried his face in her shoulder. “Mom.”
Alison held him tight.
“Please sit down Alison, Tan,” said Hannah after a minute. She pulled out two chairs. “Make yourselves comfortable until Mack comes. Tea?”
Alison nodded. “That would be lovely.”
Paul sat with them while Hannah busied herself at the counter. “Alison, I’m Paul. That’s Hannah over by the sink.”
Hannah waved.
“And this is Bird.”
Bird smiled at her. She noticed the worry lines around Alison’s eyes.
“Hello, everybody. I’m a bit of a mess right now. I hope you understand.” Alison kept her arm around Tan, whose head was bowed. “I haven’t seen Tanbark for so long.” Her voice cracked, and Hannah brought her a tissue. “I wondered if I’d ever see him again.”
Paul nodded. “Of course. I’m glad you could get here so quickly.”
“I just dropped everything. I’m so glad he’s safe and wants to get help.” She couldn’t say anything more.
“Tan is lucky to have a mother like you,” said Bird, “who has always cared so much for him, through everything.”
Alison looked at Bird directly for the first time. “Thank you, Bird. I cannot count the sleepless nights.” Her smile looked intensely sad. “You’re the one who found him, aren’t you?”
“I guess. But really, he found me.”
“But you understood that he was good. That means a lot to me.”
Bird chuckled softly. “Tan and I’ve had a few trials, that’s for sure.”
Alison stroked Tan’s forehead and smoothed his unruly hair. “He wasn’t always like this, you know.”
Hannah brought the cups to the table. “I remember him when he was fifteen or so. He was on top of his game.”
“What a difference.” Alison sighed. “Tanbark was the best at everything. Smart. Athletic. Popular. Then came the chemical imbalance.”
“It can happen to anyone,” said Paul.
“And it does,” answered Alison. “It came as a complete surprise to me.”
Hannah poured the tea. “Milk? Lemon? Sugar?”
“Just clear is perfect.” Alison smiled at her hostess. “The good news is that a chemical imbalance can be treated successfully once the ill person decides to get help.”
“But how do you know you need help,” asked Bird, “when you think that you’re fine and it’s everybody else who needs help?”
“That’s the big problem,” Alison smiled sadly. “I guess something finally happens to make a person sit up and see what the people who love them have been seeing for a while.”
Bird thought about the dead coyote. At least he’d given his life for a good cause. “Do you think Tan will get better? Will he be like he was before?”
Alison cocked her head in thought, and smiled. “That’s what they tell me, and I want to believe it!” She tightened her grip around her son’s back. Her eyes held conviction and strength. “I’m told that once the person has admitted that he needs help, which is now, this disease can be mastered. It won’t be easy. With treatment, counselling and hard work, it’ll take some time, but we’ve begun the healing—thanks to all of you.”
Mack Jones arrived as they were drinking their tea. “It’s best we get to CAMH as soon as possible,” he said after introductions were made. “There’s a room all made up for him. They’re waiting for us.”
Bird studied Tanbark. He was holding on to his mother, his face still buried in her shoulder. It must be scary to be him, she thought. She considered how brave Tanbark was. His greatest fear had always been confinement. Now he must face that fear, and many more.
“Goodbye, Tan. I’ll miss you.” Bird gently touched his trembling arm and said, “I’d like to visit you sometime.”
Tan turned his head and squinted, his eyes blurry. He said, “Yes! Visit.” He bent his neck and rested his head on his mother’s shoulder.
“Time to go,” said Mack in a quiet voice. “The car’s waiting.”
Without a backward glance, Tanbark, with his mother and Mack at either side, walked out to the cruiser and got in. The tires crunched on the gravel road, and they were gone.
Bird let the tears fall down her cheeks.
36
ALL GOOD THINGS
Tan leaned on his mother’s shoulder in the back of the cruiser and dozed. He was so tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of running. Tired of avoiding people. He didn’t want to think about anything. All he knew was that his mother was here to help. He repeated silently — I need help. I need help. This time, he was going to get it.
BIRD AND JULIA QUIETLY SET THE TABLE in the dining room, while Hannah and Eva bustled in the kitchen. Pete and Laura had been invited, and were expected at any moment.
The sound of a vehicle attracted their attention. Bird recognized the truck first. “The Piersons are here.”
“Come on in and sit down!” Hannah was warm in her welcome. “Tanbark and his mother just left for Toronto. We need some cheering up.”
Laura nodded. “I know exactly what you mean, dear. It’s very sad, but he’ll be fine, I have faith. He’s young.” She smiled kindly. “He’s in the best of hands. He’ll soon respond, with the right medication. You’ll see.”
Hannah hugged her elderly friend. “I hope you’re right.”
All around the dining room table, faces glowed with goodwill. Bird looked at each person, one by o
ne: Laura Pierson, bubbling with energy and love; old Pete, intelligent, tough-minded and perceptive; Aunt Hannah, hard-working, honest and caring; Paul, trustworthy, kind and generous; Julia, funny, sweet and earnest; Eva, insecure but good-hearted and loving; Stuart, attentive and sensitive. Bird loved them all.
Paul carried a tray of champagne flutes—two with ginger ale for the girls—and set it down on the table. Everyone took a glass. Paul held his in the air. “I propose a toast.” He cleared his voice and said:
“Fear less, hope more.
Eat less, chew more.
Talk less, say more.
Whine less, breathe more.
Love more.
And all good things will be yours.”
“Beautiful!” exclaimed Laura.
Pete held up his glass,then drank.“That’s an old Scandinavian proverb, isn’t it, Paul?”
“Indeed it is, sir. To honour your Norwegian heritage.”
“Let me add this,” said Pete, “to honour my Canadian friends and family. To truth, love and life. And to hard work and good luck.”
Under the table, Lucky’s tail thumped. To me? A toast to me?
Yes, Lucky. I’m sure he meant you.
After the dinner dishes were done, while everyone else sat around the fire chatting about the recent adventures, Bird quietly slipped out the kitchen door. She walked through the moonlight, filling her lungs deeply with the fresh night air. She savoured the aromas of earth, newly cut grass, wild leeks and young pine.
Later that evening, she and Julia would go back to the house that Stuart and Eva had bought when they got engaged. Tonight, she’d sleep in her new bed, in the bedroom that she’d helped decorate. But before she went, there were two things she needed to do.
Sunny?
Here.
Can you come to the fence? I want to rub your ears before I go.
No. I’m busy.
Bird snorted wryly. This wasn’t how she’d imagined their parting. She climbed over the fence and stumbled on a rock in the dark.
Ouch. Dumb horse. I just want to pat you one more time. Why do you make everything so difficult?
You’ll be back. I know it.
Of course I’ll be back, but aren’t you even a little bit sad that my holiday here is over?
Mystery at Saddle Creek Page 26
