Cathy would have been lonely at this time without her mother’s company, with so many of her friends dispersed. She worked several hours a day at the hospital on a constantly changing rota so she made no new friends, but spent happy hours with her mother, talking over old times and planning for the future.
Maureen had suggested that Anne and John should turn two rooms in the Fitzgerald house into a flat for themselves and her father had agreed, so Anne and John spent a blissful leave making the rooms into a home for themselves.
Joe had gone back to London but when the Battalion, few of whom had returned from Italy, was made up to strength they moved to Hawick in Scotland. It was obvious by now that the Second Front was about to begin, and Gene was one of those who were moved down the coast to where troops and equipment were being organized for the invasion of France.
John had been promoted to sergeant and shortly afterwards was also moved down to Eastbourne ready for the invasion. By this time it had been confirmed that Anne was pregnant and that the baby was due in January. She told Sarah that she was terrified that John would be killed before the baby was born.
‘Don’t worry,’ Sarah said. ‘Joe says this time it’s going to be different altogether from Dunkirk because Hitler’s had such losses on the Russian Front and in other places, and we’re so much stronger with our own troops and the Americans and the others on our side.’
‘I hope he’s right,’ Anne said. ‘I know we’ve been lucky having John in England for so long, but just now I’d love to have him home.’
She seemed suddenly to think of Sarah’s long wait and said hastily. ‘You and Joe are good friends, aren’t you? I haven’t seen him much on his leaves, with the shift work. We’ll all be strangers by the time this is over. I wonder if Terry will have changed?’
‘He probably will,’ Sarah said, blushing. ‘We’ll just have to wait and see.’
In June the invasion of Europe began and John was among the first wave of troops. Gene landed a few days later but it was July before Joe went out with reinforcements.
‘It’s like a switchback,’ Anne complained as she listened to the news with Cathy and the rest of the family. ‘One day everything’s going well and you think it’ll soon be over, and the next day they’re held up again.’
‘Don’t worry, love. I’m sure John will be home before the baby’s born,’ Cathy comforted her, and for a while it seemed she would be right.
In late September Joe wrote of the wonderful welcome they had received when they liberated Brussels, of the lights being turned on and the flowers and fruit and wine heaped upon them, and the kisses from everyone from nine weeks to ninety. Once again hopes were raised at home, but there was bitter fighting still to come.
The end was near as Germany was overrun, and on May the fourth the unconditional surrender of all German Forces was announced, to take place on the following day.
By that time Anne’s baby, Gerald John Redmond, was four months old. ‘It’s history repeating itself,’ Sally said when he was born. ‘John was born when his father was away in the Army.’
‘Yes, but John will learn by my mistakes,’ said Greg.
‘And by mine,’ Cathy said quickly. They smiled at each other, all the bitterness of those years forgotten.
Sarah took part in the celebrations on VE Day but with a sinking heart as she thought of the months ahead. Already, as Germany was defeated and prisoner-of-war camps liberated, the prisoners had begun to come home. Lorry loads of men drove past the office where Sarah worked and the girls had made huge “Welcome Home” banners, and hung them from the windows when the convoys were expected, ringing a handbell so that the men would look up and see them.
‘Wouldn’t it be exciting if you saw your boy friend on one of the lorries?’ a colleague said to Sarah, but she had warning of Terry’s arrival in a letter from France. It was formal in tone with a few “darlings” scattered in it. Like currants in a cake, she thought.
She was surprised to learn from Maureen that Terry had written to his father asking if he could bring his friend Frank to stay as his father, his only relative, had been killed when his house was destroyed by a landmine.
The Fitzgeralds all gathered for Terry’s homecoming. Eileen had been demobilized, but she was a quiet, sad girl now. She had been married to an Air Force pilot who had been killed three weeks after their wedding, and to Sarah seemed greatly changed.
Stephen had arrived home on holiday, Helen and Tony were there with their small daughter, and Anne and Maureen were already at home with their father. Only Joe was still away in Germany, and for once Sarah was glad that he was absent.
Sarah decided to go to the Fitzgeralds’ house on the evening of Terry’s arrival, and felt a hypocrite when Mr Fitzgerald praised her for her thoughtfulness.
‘We’ll want to have a good look at him,’ he said apologetically, ‘but there’s plenty of room in the house for you two to go off on your own later.’
Now that the time had come, she felt terrified. So much depended on what happened in the first few hours after she and Terry met.
She worried about what she should wear. After the years of clothes rationing she had only a few dresses and had worn each of them when she was with Joe. Her best dress was the one made from the deep blue material that Mick had brought her, but that was Joe’s favourite.
Fortunately her grandmother handed her some clothes coupons. ‘Get yourself a nice dress, love,’ she said.
Sarah hugged her, feeling her pleasure in the gift mixed with guilt and worry about what people would think when they knew the situation. Why am I so thin-skinned and such a worrier? she thought with exasperation. I wish I could stop it and just let things happen. Kate would.
She said this to her father when all the rest of the family were in bed. ‘We’re all a bit on edge these days,’ he said. ‘And it’s worse for you with this problem, and being a natural worrier anyway, and sensitive to other people’s feelings.’
‘But why am I like this?’ she said. ‘I’m sure I don’t want to be. I’d like to be the same as Kate.’
‘Oh, well, we are what we are, I suppose. You’ve just inherited different characteristics. Grandma told me once that when she was young she would worry over a pin. She was talking about you at the time.’
‘I hope I’ve inherited other things from her but I could do without that trait,’ Sarah said ruefully.
Greg smiled at her. ‘It makes you what you are, love,’ he said. ‘And we don’t want you to be any different.’
Sarah had planned to leave Terry alone with his family when he arrived and go later to the Fitzgeralds’, but Tony came to escort her there shortly after his brother’s arrival.
‘This chap Frank is with Terry and so far hasn’t left his side for a minute, so I think your tact was wasted, Sarah,’ he said. ‘You’ll find Terry changed in some ways. I suppose he’s grown up.’ He squeezed her arm affectionately. ‘Of course, you’re not the quiet little girl you used to be.’
How nice all the Fitzgeralds were, Sarah thought, and how much she liked them. The thought was followed by another: I hope they don’t turn against me.
As they drew near the house, Tony released her arm. When they saw Terry’s tall figure waiting, Tony moved on quickly, clapping his brother’s shoulder as he passed him, and Sarah and Terry moved towards each other.
But he looks just the same, she thought as Terry took off his cap and bent to kiss her. There was no passion in the kiss and Sarah only laid her hand on his arm. They smiled self-consciously at each other, and Terry crooked his arm for her to slip her hand through.
‘Does it all feel very strange?’ Sarah asked as they strolled along.
‘Yes, it does. I suppose I expected things to stand still – well, I knew there’d be changes, I suppose. Mum—’
‘Yes, it’s sad for you,’ she said gently. ‘But she would have had a lot of pain if she’d lived.’
‘So Maureen told me. She hasn’t changed much, but the
others – all these marriages, and a new nephew and niece.’
‘Was it bad for you over there?’
‘In some ways. We got fed up with time dragging past, but the Germans were all right. We got pally with some of the guards and were sorry when they were sent to the Russian front, poor blighters.’
‘It said on the news that prisoners were treated badly.’
‘Some were, I suppose, but we were lucky. The main thing was Frank and I managed to stick together, even for working parties. That reminds me – we’d better get back. He’s a bit shy with the family.’
Maureen opened the door to them. She detained Sarah to whisper, ‘Well?’
‘All right,’ Sarah whispered as Terry went ahead. ‘I don’t feel strange, I feel quite easy with him, but it’s like being with Tony.’
‘You haven’t talked?’ Maureen asked.
‘No. He wanted to get back to Frank,’ said Sarah. Maureen grimaced and led the way into the room. Terry introduced Frank to Sarah. He was a thick-set young man who to Sarah seemed far from shy as he joined in the conversation in which the family told Terry of events over the years.
‘Yes, I think you wrote to Terry about that, didn’t you, Sarah?’ he said several times, and she began to feel glad that she had written nothing very personal in her letters.
A little later Frank suddenly leaned forward and said to Sarah, ‘What do you think about Canada, then?’
Sarah realized that Terry, sitting beside her, was making frantic signals to Frank. A blush spread over her face but she could think of nothing to say.
Tony stepped in quickly. ‘What do you think of Liverpool? Do you see many changes?’
‘I do. Even from the bit we saw coming here. It all looks shabby and dirty, and the people! What a miserable-looking bunch. The Jerrys look more cheerful, and they’ve lost the war,’ Frank said.
There was a stunned silence then Helen said sharply, ‘Liverpool’s been knocked about, and people are shabby maybe but I wouldn’t say they were miserable. They’ll be able to buy new clothes soon, and rebuilding’s started.’
‘It’s just that I remember Liverpool as such a lively place, and I’ve talked about it like that to Frank,’ Terry said tactfully. They all felt that he must often have to smooth feathers ruffled by Frank.
Maureen brought in tea and sandwiches and said to Terry, ‘I’ve put yours and Sarah’s in Dad’s den.’ They went into the little room and Terry took Sarah’s hand.
‘Sorry Frank blurted that out about Canada,’ he said. ‘I want to do what you want, Sarah. It’s been a long time for you to wait, with everyone else getting married. Do you want us to get married right away?’
Sarah shook her head, then with a rush of courage she said, ‘Do you think we should? I mean, when you went away, Terry, it was only a last minute thing about being your girl, and even then I thought if it didn’t work out we could part with no hard feelings. It was just circumstances that made the difference.’
‘That’s true,’ he said. ‘But, Sarah, five years is a long time to wait. You don’t think we should get married right away?’
‘Do you want to?’ she said. ‘Tell me honestly, Terry.’ He hesitated and she said, ‘I think we’re both fumbling about. You think we should marry because it’s been so long, or rather you’re prepared to marry for that reason. And I feel that if you’ve been planning marriage I should marry you, but if you’d rather go to Canada with Frank, I think you should.’
Terry listened to her in amazement. ‘By God, Sarah, you’ve changed! You’re so confident, so – so grown up. I could never have imagined you talking like this.’
She blushed. ‘I took Maureen’s advice,’ she admitted, ‘I said a little prayer before I started.’
Terry’s hearty laugh rang out and he leaned forward and kissed her. ‘I’m very fond of you, Sar,’ he said. ‘I appreciate all your letters. They’ve been an anchor.’
‘And I’m very fond of you, Terry,’ she said. ‘I like all your family, but now we’ve got it settled that we’re good friends but don’t want to marry, I can tell you.’ She took a deep breath then said in a muffled voice, ‘Your Joe, Terry. I love him and he loves me. We didn’t say anything for a while, and when we did we didn’t do anything underhand. We decided that we couldn’t do anything until we knew how you felt.’ She gave a wavering smile. ‘I was relieved when you spoke about Canada.’
‘Well, bloody hell!’ he said. ‘I’m just surprised,’ he added hastily. ‘Our Joe. Still waters run deep.’
‘We didn’t deceive you. We didn’t make any plans or tell anyone. We thought we’d wait until the war was over and you were home and we could see how things worked out. Maureen and my dad are the only ones who know. They guessed just by seeing us together. It’s such a relief to know we agree, Terry, that what we feel for each other isn’t enough for marriage.’
‘It’s a relief to me too, Sarah. After a while I began to realize I’d pushed you into this situation, but there was nothing I could do. I know you didn’t want to send me a “Dear John” letter while I was there, and I didn’t want to send one to you. Thank God we’re all sorted out now.’
The next moment the door opened and Frank walked in, but Terry firmly ushered him out again.
Sarah stood and Terry put his arms round her. ‘So that’s settled then, Sarah? No wedding for us. I’ll go to Canada with Frank, and you’ll marry Joe and live happily ever after.’
‘And you don’t mind that it’s him?’ she said.
‘No, it’ll keep you in the family,’ Terry said with a grin. ‘The more I think of it, the more I see how well suited you are.’ He gave her a quick kiss. ‘Come on, let’s go and disappoint the family.’
‘Don’t mention Joe yet,’ she said quickly. ‘I want to tell Mum and Grandma first.’
They went in and Helen looked up inquiringly. ‘Wedding bells?’
‘No,’ Terry said. ‘Sarah and I had each decided it wasn’t a good idea, but neither of us wanted to send a “Dear John” letter. We’ve sorted it out now.’
‘Good,’ Maureen said briskly. ‘How about a drink, Dad? You’re not usually so slow in that direction.’
There were exclamations from some of the family, but no one looking at Sarah and Terry’s happy faces could doubt that it was a joint decision and the right one.
Later, when Terry walked home with Sarah, he said he was surprised that the family took it so calmly. ‘They’re all more concerned with the changes in their own lives,’ she said. ‘The children and houses and all that.’
Sarah’s family welcomed Terry warmly and he was introduced to Gene who was sitting in the kitchen with them. Kate flourished her engagement ring with its large diamond under Terry’s nose. ‘I suppose you’ll be buying one of these for Sarah?’
Terry ignored the question. ‘Now I know I feel old,’ he said. ‘You engaged, Kate! You were only a sprat when I went away.’
Greg asked questions about Terry’s journey home and conditions in Germany, and conversation was general until Terry stood up to go. Kate and Gene had already left. ‘I’d better be off,’ he said.
Sarah said laughingly, ‘Yes. Frank will be like a hen on a griddle.’ She went to the door with him and returned almost immediately.
‘Who’s Frank?’ Cathy asked.
‘Terry’s friend. He’s staying there but they’ll go together to Canada soon.’ She looked at the amazed expression on her mother’s face. ‘Terry and I aren’t getting married, Mum.’
‘But you both looked so happy,’ Cathy murmured.
‘Yes, but for different reasons,’ Sarah said. ‘The way Terry explained it at his house, we both knew it wouldn’t work but neither of us could say it in letters in case the other one was still planning to marry. We’ve sorted it out now. Terry’s going to Canada with Frank, and I’m going to marry Joe.’
‘Joe Fitzgerald, you mean?’ Cathy exclaimed.
‘Yes, Mum. We’ve known for a long time, since Dunkirk, but we coul
dn’t do anything until Terry came home.’
Cathy looked from Greg to her mother. ‘Did you know?’ she asked.
Greg said nothing but Sally said calmly, ‘I didn’t know but I guessed, just seeing them together. But Sarah said nothing, so neither did I. I could have been wrong.’
‘Oh, Grandma, you don’t think we were sly, do you?’ Sarah said.
Sally shook her head. ‘No. I could see you were in a cleft stick the way things were, but I think you and Joe are better suited.’
‘So do I,’ said Greg. ‘I like Joe.’
‘Yes. I like Terry too,’ Cathy said, ‘he’s a nice lad. But Joe – I’ll be made up to have him as a son-in-law. All the same, Sarah, I don’t think you’re sly, but you’re more crafty than I gave you credit for to keep it dark all this time.’
She flung her arms round her mother. ‘I’m so glad you don’t mind, Mum,’ she said. ‘It was hard to hide it from you but we had to do it.’
‘As long as the Fitzgeralds don’t mind and Terry isn’t hurt,’ said Cathy.
‘Hurt! He’s relieved,’ she laughed. ‘It was all a sort of joke at first. If he hadn’t seen that photo and asked for it, he’d never have thought of me as his girl.’
‘So it was all my fault for framing the photo,’ Greg said. ‘You see, Gran, it’s always my fault.’
‘Remind me to cry for you when I’ve got time,’ Sally said drily, but she was smiling and Sarah knew that she was pleased at her news.
Sarah slipped away to send a note to Joe immediately, and Cathy looked at Greg. ‘What next?’ she said. ‘And you don’t seem surprised either. I must go round with my eyes shut.’
‘No, You were just sure that Terry was the one,’ he said. ‘I think they behaved honourably in keeping it quiet.’
Sarah received an ecstatic letter from Joe. He told her that he had asked for special leave to see his brother before he went to Canada. It had been granted and he would be home in a week’s time. Terry planned to sail to Canada within a month. Maureen told Sarah that she would be sorry to lose him so quickly, but not at all sorry to see Frank go.
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