Victoria Are you speaking as a father or as a friend?
Balance Whichever you prefer …
Victoria Is that your last word?
Balance Yes.
Victoria Thank you. (She goes out)
Balance (shouting) Victoria!—Simpkins!—Show the gentleman in.
(Plume comes in)
Balance (with outstretched arms) Captain Plume!
Plume Mr. Balance.
Balance Welcome to Shrewsbury! The gates of our city are open wide to you.
Plume Thank you, Mr. Balance.
Balance You must again regard this house as yours.
Plume You are very kind. And how is your charming daughter, Mr. Balance?
Balance Let me wish you every success in your efforts to carry off …
Plume (startled) Sir? …
Balance … a splendid company of grenadiers.
Plume Quite so, sir. Quite so.
Balance (sits down) You must give me a detailed account of our military situation over there, captain.
Plume Our situation over there is a situation … how shall I put it? … an unusual situation. From a military point of view. From a military standpoint.—May I inquire whether your daughter …
Balance I have to admit that six months ago I trembled for England. Bunker Hill has restored my confidence.
Plume I have something to show you. As a lawyer you may be interested in this rubbish they’re handing out all over America.
(Simpkins comes in with whiskey)
Balance (reading) “Draft of a Declaration of Independence.” The gall! “When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another hitherto …” High treason!
Simpkins Scoundrels.
Balance (reading) “All men are created equal …” Where does the Bible say that?—“Liberty and the pursuit of happiness …” So here it is in black and white; these new ideas we’ve heard so much about. It’s base greed, that’s what it is! (Simpkins shakes his head sadly)
Balance Do these rebels—these Franklins, Jeffersons, and Washingtons—really think the English crown will stand for such ideas?
Simpkins Pah!
Balance On the pretext that it costs too much, they refuse to import our tea. More than ten thousand cases of unsold tea are rotting in Liverpool docks at this very moment. At the same time, these lawyers and backwoods generals, reared in equality, want to sell their cotton, which we need here, to God knows who, merely because they get better prices. Imagine a colony presuming to trade with the whole world. Whoever heard of such a thing!
Simpkins Tsk, tsk.
Balance Is something wrong, Simpkins?
Simpkins I beg your pardon, sir.
Balance Imagine, sir, if your tenants suddenly proclaimed their independence and, instead of sending you their eggs, decided to send them to town and let you perish for want of albumen?
Plume I have no tenants, sir, but of course you’re right.
Balance What’s more, these “new ideas” are contagious—they spread like the plague. The whole civilized world must join forces against these rebels. The Germans, I hear, have already come forward, with thirty thousand Hessians.—Have our losses been considerable?
Plume Considerable. You could make my work here a good deal easier, Mr. Balance, by taking the example of most other counties. Instead of sending the shiftless riffraff to jail, send them off to war.
Balance I don’t hold with such practices. There’s no need for them in Shrewsbury. Our people know what they owe our king.
Simpkins Thank God!
(Balance stamps his foot. Simpkins goes out)
Plume I hope you’re right, sir. So far I must admit …
Balance Your presence will change all that, Plume. A bit of martial music in the square, a captured flag or two, a patriotic speech, not too high-flown for our good country folk, and, of course, you can always count on the ardent support of our fair sex. Shrewsbury will give you everything you need, captain, everything!
(Victoria, in traveling attire, comes in, followed by a servant carrying her bags. She nods briefly and goes out)
Plume Your daughter, Mr. Balance?
Balance Yes. On her way to visit her uncle in the country, Captain Plume.
Plume Oh.
3
At Melinda Moorhill’s house.
Melinda sings, accompanying herself on the harp.
Melinda
Chloe in the forest glade.
Achilles from behind a tree
Stepped, “Oh could you, pretty maid
Favor me?”
Fearfully the maiden gazed
Hid her features in the meadow grass.
Said the hero, mournful and amazed
“Don’t you care then for my gold cuirass?”
As Achilles turned to go
Birds fell silent in the brake.
Listening to the brook’s bright flow
Chloe spake.
Said the maid: “It’s easy to resist
Lion, stag, and strutting peacock, too.
Golden armor leaves me unimpressed
But I have noticed that your eyes are blue.”
(Victoria rushes in followed by her servant with her bags. The servant puts the bags down and leaves)
Victoria Can I stay with you, Melinda? For a week. Father wanted me to go to Uncle Harry’s in the country. But I can’t leave Shrewsbury at the moment.
Melinda Of course. You know you are always welcome here (They embrace)
Victoria I’m so unhappy!
Melinda I’m so miserable!
(They both burst into tears)
Victoria Dearest Melinda!
Melinda Dearest Victoria! (Calling) Lucy, bring the tea! (To Victoria) Is it your captain? I hear he’s back.
Victoria This time I shall make sure he doesn’t go off again. How are things between you and Worthy?
Melinda Oh, Worthy! I must have made some mistake. Now he wants to marry me.
Victoria Well?
Melinda I don’t know.
Victoria But you love him.
Melinda Yes, but …
Victoria And he loves you. To be sure, he’s not a hero…
Melinda What do you mean? Everyone can’t go dashing around the world like your Captain Plume. What have you got against Worthy?
Victoria Against Worthy? Nothing. On the contrary, I fail to see why you treat the poor man so cruelly. He’s a gentleman of rank and fortune. Besides, he is friends with my Plume, and if you’re not nicer to him …
Melinda Heavens, Victoria! Must we talk about Worthy and me? I only said that he was getting rather stodgy.
Victoria Small wonder when you’ve trained him like a dog.
Melinda Worthy is not a dog, Victoria. And now let me tell you what I think of your Captain Plume! He’s a depraved, lazy, importunate fop!
Victoria My dear Melinda, your opinion only proves how well suited you are to your stodgy Worthy now that you’ve inherited twenty thousand pounds. You treated him like a man as long as you were trying to extract five hundred pounds a year from him. Without success, of course.
Melinda What do you mean by that?
Victoria My meaning is perfectly clear.
(Pause)
Melinda Without success! I don’t envy you your success. Such success is easily come by.
Victoria You think so?
Melinda Besides, you don’t stand a chance.
Victoria Really?
Melinda You poor deluded goose! Do you think a dashing young officer, who in the past six months has had half the world at his feet and has a girl in every town, is going to settle down in a God-forsaken hole like Shrewsbury for the sake of the insignificant daughter of a justice of the peace?
Victoria What do I care how many girls he’s got waiting for him! I wouldn’t want a man with nothing on his mind but me!
Melinda Victoria, have you lost all pride, thro
wing yourself at the first rowdy rake of an officer … ?
Victoria There you go again! Unfortunately, this is your house, Melinda …
Melinda I wouldn’t have taken it amiss if you had stayed in yours, Victoria …
Victoria Don’t worry, Melinda, I’ll take your gentle hint.
Melinda The sooner the better.
Victoria I am always quick to follow my inclinations. Your humble servant, madam. (Flounces out)
(Her servant picks up her bags and follows. Lucy brings in the tea)
Melinda Impudent hussy.
4
Market place.
The recruiting officers have arranged a band concert. A platform has been set up in front of Mr. Balance’s house. The recruiting booth is decorated with captured flags. A broad-shouldered man is sitting at a table outside the Raven. The band strikes up a military march. Kite steps out of the inn and stops in front of the broad-shouldered man, eyeing him admiringly. Pearmain and Appletree are looking at the pictures on the wall of the booth.
Kite (to the broad-shouldered man) Oh! Allow me to congratulate you on your chest development.—Mike!—Money’s no object to our good King George. (Mike the potboy has come out of the inn) Mike! Ale for the gentleman. (He catches sight of the farm boys and walks toward the recruiting booth) Gentlemen, may I invite you to drink a pint of ale with me this evening?
Appletree When it comes to that, we’ll take on the best of them.
(Plume, Balance, Melinda, and Worthy come out of Mr. Balance’s house. They step up to the platform to a flourish of trumpets)
Kite Shrewsbury salutes the hero of Bunker Hill!
(Plume waves to the crowd in all directions)
Kite Three cheers for Captain Plume! Hip, hip, hurrah!
(The farm boys join in)
Kite Let’s have a cheer for the king and the honor of Micklesbury! (He goes into the inn with the laughing farm boys)
(The guests of honor take their places on the platform. Simpkins serves them whiskey)
Balance Ladies and gentlemen! You have just seen one of the men who are making it possible for England to pursue her policy of strength throughout the world.
Worthy A herculean task! (He listens to the music)
Balance (points to the square) The ice is beginning to melt; Shrewsbury is yielding to the martial strains of Höchstedt and Blafontaine. The blare of brass is injecting a little heroism into the anemic souls of our citizens. Plume! I insist on an account of the battle of Bunker Hill.
Plume This is rather embarrassing, Mr. Balance. One battle is very much like another.
Simpkins Ahem!
Balance Did you say something, Simpkins?
Simpkins Begging your pardon, sir, but we know all about Bunker Hill here in Shrewsbury, sir. Indeed we do, captain.
Balance What do you know?
Simpkins The river is called the Hudson, Mr. Balance. Upstream there’s a dam and a mill pond, sir; downstream, barley fields. The rebels had managed to cross the Hudson but under cover of night, Captain Plume—begging your pardon, sir—maneuvered eighty grenadiers and a field-piece through their lines. A single well-aimed shot—am I right, captain?—sweeps the dam away and the water starts flooding their barley fields. To be sure, our brave soldiers were decimated by murderous musket volleys, but then it happened as Captain Plume had anticipated. Those rebels are no soldiers, they’re common dirt-farmers who’ve forced themselves into uniform. At the sight of a good-sized flood, such people soon revert to being dirt-farmers, he he he! That night a whole corps of dirt-farmers ran off to repair the dam and save the drowning livestock on their flooded farms. At eight o’clock in the morning we attacked. The outcome is common knowledge. Pardon, sir. Pardon, captain.
Balance Thank you, Simpkins.
(Simpkins goes out)
Balance (to Plume) What would you say was our main base of operations at present?
Plume Boston.
Balance Boston? You’ll have to explain that.
Plume (using whiskey glasses to illustrate) Boston, Howe, Washington. (He makes a sign to Worthy and during the following explains the battle to Balance)
Worthy (to Melinda) Madam, I am obliged to express my astonishment at your coldness to my friend Plume. You know how highly I regard him.
Melinda Is that a reprimand? Are you finding fault with my manners?
Worthy (meekly) Not at all. I am merely making an observation.
Melinda Whatever has been the matter with you these last few days? The day before yesterday, no sign of you. Where were you? Yesterday you sent your servant for the novels you had lent me, which I hadn’t even read! Today …
Worthy Today?
Melinda You seem to have fallen under some bad influence. Have you come here for the sole purpose of insulting me?
Worthy I had no intention of either insulting you or seeing you. I came, I must admit, in the hope of meeting someone else.
Melinda Oh!
(Brazen comes in)
Balance Who is that overdressed fellow with the sash? Never saw him before! What regiment is that anyway?
Worthy I’ll wager he knows you, though. He knows everybody and his brother. It’s Captain Brazen. He’s a Caesar with the ladies; veni, vidi, vici, and there you have it. No sooner has he talked to the maid than he’s slept with the mistress.
Brazen (approaching with outstretched arms) Mr. Worthy, your humble servant, and so forth. Listen, my dear fellow … (He whispers in Worthy’s ear)
Worthy Don’t whisper. When company’s present…
Brazen Mort de ma vie! I beg the lady’s pardon. Do introduce me, my dear fellow.
Worthy Captain Brazen—Miss Moorhill.
Brazen Moorhill! (Strikes himself on the forehead) The Sussex Moorhills or the Welsh Moorhills? Lovely lady, your servant, and so forth. And who might that be?
Worthy Ask him.
Brazen So I will. Your name, sir.
Balance Most laconic, sir.
Brazen Laconic! A very fine name, indeed. I’ve known several Laconics abroad, splendid chaps. Poor Jack Laconic. Killed in the battle of Peshawar. On the Ganges. Well I remember that fateful day, he was wearing a blue ribbon on his cap and all we found in his pocket afterwards was a piece of dried ox tongue. Malaventura! I have good reason to remember: on that very day, twenty-two horses were killed under me.
Balance You must have ridden mighty hard, sir.
Brazen Torn to pieces by cannon balls, they were, all but six that were gored to death on the enemy’s chevaux-de-frise.
Balance Do you know Plume? Captain Plume?
Brazen Plume? No. Is he related to Dick Plume, who was with the East India Company? He married the daughter of old Tonguepad, chairman of the Lord Raleigh shipyards. An exceptionally pretty girl, apart from a slight squint in her left eye. She died giving birth to her first child. The child survived. A little girl, it was. But whether she was called Margaret or Margery, upon my honor, my dear fellow, I can’t remember.
Melinda Mr. Worthy, would you see me home? It’s rather noisy here.
Worthy Not at all. The band plays these marches beautifully, Mr. Balance.
Melinda I asked you to see me home, Mr. Worthy.
Worthy I should be delighted to, madam, if, as I mentioned before, I hadn’t arranged to meet someone here.
Melinda I do hope there’s one gentleman here who will be good enough to see me home.
Brazen (putting his arm around her waist) Dear child, here is my hand, my life-blood, and so forth. Your servant, Worthy. Ditto, Laconic.
(Brazen and Melinda leave)
Kite (from the taproom) Ladies and gentlemen: long live our good King George! Hip, hip, hurrah!
Balance (laughing) Veni, vidi, vici!—What’s come over you, Worthy? (Goes into the house)
Worthy Plume!
(Kite comes out of the taproom. The broad-shouldered man lifts his glass; it is empty)
Kite Mike! Another pint for the gentleman. (He goes out)
Worthy Plume! She’s thrown herself into the arms of another man!
Berliner Ensemble Adaptations Page 29
