by Jill Monroe
The casino held an air of excitement and hope, and he had to weave his way around a multitude of tables and machines. The gaming floor was not designed to give a person a direct route to the restaurants, doors or elevators leading up to the hotel rooms. Eric had to pass by every conceivable kind of temptation. Funny that with all the decadence and enticements surrounding him, Danni had proved to be the biggest lure.
After unlocking his office, he cut a glance to the wall where he’d pinned her delightful body. His body remembered everything. The softness of her hair against his cheek. The weight of her breasts against his chest. Damn if he couldn’t still hear that sexy intake of breath she’d made when his fingers caressed the curve of her hip. Yes, things between them were definitely back on track.
He hadn’t calculated on sex coming up so soon in their relationship. Although he’d been charged with overplanning and being far from spontaneous, Eric usually won over any sex partner with his deliberate and intentional approach to sex. In fact, he savored the chase…the anticipation.
But with Danni, he wanted to rip her clothes off and have her right there against the wall. He didn’t want to chase. He didn’t want to anticipate. What was wrong with him? He closed his eyes and focused. Focused until every thought of Danni faded into a controllable compartment in his mind.
Ex-girlfriends accused him of being shut off, or hiding from some kind of emotional trauma in his past. The truth was far less dramatic. No childhood pain hid in his closet. He was simply a loner. He didn’t have to get involved.
This was reason number one that made him good at his job.
Danni had proven to be unpredictable. That’s why it had taken him a moment to recover from her admission of her old ways. Offering her that twenty bucks had come from the hip. He hated shooting from the hip. Planning and execution was his forte.
Another reason he was good at his job.
Grabbing files from his desk, he headed out of the building. He wasn’t in top form for this meeting. Sure, he had good things to report, but after that tossing and turning in his bed last night, he’d finally given up the pretense of trying to sleep. Instead he hit the gym around four-thirty to work out his frustrations.
With thoughts of Danni, a different set of frustrations flooded him. Maybe he’d have to hit the gym again. He wanted her. Wanted her with the single-minded determination he usually reserved for work. But why?
Danni had a wariness, a cynicism that drew him to her. Yet she was a woman with a lot to prove. Eric admired that about her. But had she set out to prove that his faith in her wasn’t wasted?
He winced at the thought. Then once again, he pushed the idea of Danni out of his mind. There were a lot of people counting on him. He had a job to do as well. He wouldn’t fail.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, Danni stood outside Cassie’s office. Her best friend met her at the locked door. Not even Cassie’s receptionist hovered around the place.
When Danni saw her best friend, all remnants of her goofy grin vanished. Cassie’s skin stretched tight across her face with strain, and she was reaching for her glasses. A nervous habit that still existed, even though she’d gotten that laser procedure a few months ago. “Follow me,” Cassie said. “It’s on my computer.”
Danni followed Cassie down the hall, then halted with a gasp.
For years, Cassie had advocated a “no computer” policy for her desk. Something about being cluttered and distracting from real work. With her practice expanding, the small closet she’d used to house her computer was now stocked with large file drawers and the computer now sat on her desk. A computer that flashed two very naked, very into each other and very entwined people.
“You doing research on Internet porn?” Danni asked, grasping for a reason those writhing images would now be bombarding her. Somehow the porn stuff didn’t seem to mesh with the avocado-green of Cassie’s walls. Cassie insisted it was a calm, soothing hue great for her patients that would soon be the next “in” color. Basically, it reminded Danni of her grandmother’s kitchen back in Oklahoma.
“Look closer,” Cassie insisted, her voice tight.
Danni sat in the comfortable brown chair and studied the action on Cassie’s monitor. Then she tilted her head sideways. First right. Then left. “Is that his…what is that?”
Cassie made a groaning noise. “You don’t want to know.”
Danni swiveled on the computer chair to stare at her friend. “Then why am I looking at this?”
“Because I need an honest opinion. Can you tell that’s me?” Cassie asked, scrubbing her hand down her face.
No way. No way in hell. Danni’s eyes widened, but she quickly spun around to take another peek. “Oh, you weren’t a blonde yet. Now I can tell it’s you.”
Cassie groaned again. “So if I hadn’t told you, would you be able to recognize that it’s me?”
“Do you want me to lie? I’m really convincing, you know.” The couple shifted on the bed. “What’s that thing he’s doing right there?”
Cassie made a choking sound. “That’s his special move.”
Danni couldn’t look at the screen another second. She frantically searched around the office to distract herself from the monitor. Hmm, when did Cassie get that new picture on the wall? What was that…a blue dog?
She’d never had an awkward moment with Cassie. Ever. The woman knew every embarrassing intimate detail of Danni’s life, including the details of her first time, which had been on top a hay bale. But this, this was awkward.
Loud moans from the monitor filled the room. Danni almost choked. “Well, at least you were enjoying it.”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on,” she said, sounding exasperated and stressed. “I was faking it. Look at him.”
Danni was trying not to.
“What he lacked in skill,” Cassie went on, “he definitely made up for in enthusiasm. Watch him just pound away.”
Again, Danni was trying not to.
“Actually, it was pretty sweet,” Cassie said, her voice turning softer. “He wanted me to come so hard, he was really trying. Hence all the moaning.”
“So you’re pretending?”
Cassie took her eyes from the screen for the first time and met Danni’s gaze. “It’s called faking. Don’t you do it?”
“No. How’s the man ever going to know what you like if you don’t tell him? Doesn’t pretending just confuse them?”
“We were twenty. We’d been together since we were about eight. Our whole life was mapped out. We were saving ourselves for each other.”
Another loud moan came from the monitor. “So what made you two change your minds?”
“Obviously some guy never talked you into playing ‘just the tip,’” Cassie said, the smile on her face not reaching her eyes.
“Yeah, I guess there were some good things about being incarcerated during the hormone years.” However, that might also account for the hay bale—trying to capture something she’d missed out on. “So you…lie? The most intimate act between two people and you lie through the whole thing?” Danni asked.
Cassie hissed a breath, ruffling her straight blond hair. “You’ve never added in an extra moan, just to, you know…wrap it up?”
“No. Never.” Once again this proved the warping of her education. Honest people lied in bed, while the liars didn’t? Go figure.
Danni snapped her fingers. “You know, this explains a lot now that I think about it. Remember that one guy I dated. Ken. He really sucked in bed, but he thought he was a god. I’m sure it was this whole faking business. There should be a rule. It gives men the wrong idea of what they should be doing. He thought I had a problem.”
Cassie shrugged. “Sometimes I have things to do.”
“Well, it could be worse.” In Danni’s experience it could always be worse. And she had a real skill at finding the brighter side.
“How?”
“At least your time on film is with someone good-looking. He’s got a great ass.”
/> “Yeah,” she said with a sigh.
Something in Cassie’s voice, that wistful tone made Danni pause. And suddenly it all clicked. This was the guy. The man who set Cassie on the path to learning as much about herself as possible and then spreading that to everyone else around.
“He’s the one, right?” Danni asked.
Cassie stiffened, instantly returning to counselor persona. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Wow, this was weird. Danni had never seen Cassie even remotely flustered. She even had her arms folded across her chest. Protectively.
Oh, sure it was okay to show your best friend the illicit sex tape, now Internet video podcast that everyone could see, which you made when you were young and stupid, but talk about the man in said illicit sex tape…
A good friend wouldn’t press the issue. Delve deeper. But then most people weren’t best friends with the woman who wrote How Could I Have Made Such a Mistake?—How To Have Mature, Adult Relationships While Still Hating the One Who Broke Your Heart.
Most people didn’t view avoidance as a four-letter word like Cassie did. Cassie had led Danni down the rocky and often painful path of self-discovery. It was only right of her to return the favor. And just what was Cassie’s catch phrase? A smile played on Danni’s lips. Ah yes, she remembered. Identify. Rectify.
It was time for Cassie to start identifying. Or at least dishing the dirt.
“How’d you find this?”
“My sister sent me the link. I’m not even going to ask her why she was on this site.”
“So, who’s the guy?” Danni asked again, her tone firm.
“Oh, the one who’s going to meet the business end of my heel? Doesn’t matter.”
Danni hid a grin. Weak attempt at diversion from the question. That must be the problem with living a life of self-truth. When you didn’t want to tell the truth, you didn’t have the skills to lie.
“Cassie, come on.”
Cassie hesitated a moment, as if even saying his name would make her head start to spin. “His name is Dirk. Dirk the soon to be dead.”
Danni laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, I mean it’s the name. I’ve heard it before, but never knew anyone in real life was called Dirk. Do you ever see him?”
“Dirk called me a couple of times after his period of discovery, but I wasn’t interested. His mom still lives in my hometown, so unfortunately I bump into him at every major holiday.”
Danni was now certain there was a story here, and she couldn’t wait to get to the good part. She opened her mouth to ask another question. However, Cassie was already talking.
“I’ll tell you one thing. Holidays will be a joy after this, because I’m going to find whatever computer he used to upload this thing and smack him in the face with it.”
5
“I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT after class,” Danni told Cassie, reaching for her cell phone. “Just let me call and cancel.”
Instant regret filled Cassie. “What? No. You’re not going to cancel a date because of me. I can’t even believe you would suggest that.”
For the first time since she’d met Danni, her friend seemed to be going out with someone semi-normal, while at the same time Danni had managed to tell the man the truth about her past. Cassie wasn’t about to let her blow it.
Personal crisis or not, she and Danni had worked long and hard to get to this point. Despite Danni’s natural inclination to ruin her own life, Cassie wasn’t going to let her wreck it on her watch.
Danni hesitated, phone midway to her ear. “You’re upset. I—”
“It’s against the rules,” Cassie said, cutting her off.
Danni’s brows drew together in obvious confusion. “Rules? There are rules about breaking a date?”
“Certainly,” Cassie sighed. “Sometimes I forget you didn’t learn the same things at fifteen that I did.”
“Rules. Rules. Rules. Is there anything in my life that doesn’t have a rule?”
Cassie looked at Danni, expressionless. “No, there are always rules. So listen closely. When you have a date, the previous plans with your girlfriends take the back seat.”
“I thought the rule was never cancel plans with your girlfriends for a boy. Doesn’t that seem more empowering?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cassie shrugged. “That’s just the way things are.”
Danni traced her finger over the plastic case of her cell phone. “But I can’t believe you’d even suggest I go out with someone right now.”
Cassie unfolded then folded her arms across her chest, her expression fierce she knew. She couldn’t help it, and she didn’t really care. “You know, now that you mention it, I’m feeling a definite all-men-are-scum sentiment right now. Maybe hanging out with me would save you from one more really scummy man.”
Danni’s gaze dropped, and she looked at her nails. Over the years, Cassie had learned to pick up the many subtle hints and gestures of the woman who strenuously guarded her every inner feeling and emotion. It was so obvious Danni would rather be with Eric. And yet she wouldn’t hesitate to break her date to help Cassie. That’s what made Danni such a good friend. Eric was the future. Cassie’s problems with Dirk were the past. If Cassie wanted to get one message across in her writings and work with patients, it was progress never went backwards.
Cassie reached for Danni’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze. “Really, don’t worry about it. I’m embracing the calm even as we speak.” Cassie made a big show of taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “But I do need your help. How do I locate a guy without asking his mother for the address?”
A sly smile lit Danni’s face. “Ahhh, finally. I can actually contribute.”
Cassie arched a brow. “How about finding someone to rough the guy up?”
The color drained from Danni’s face. “Uh, I probably know someone, hmm, maybe someone from—”
Cassie decided to give her friend a break and waved her hands through the air. “I was kidding. Why is it you never get my jokes?”
“Maybe because they aren’t funny,” her friend said with a wink, the color returning to her face.
“I’m a riot in the Marriage and Relationship Therapy community.”
Danni nodded. “I’m sure you are. Now listen, I’m about to impart a few rules of my own. First, for every five-minute con, there’s hours of investigation.”
“Do we run a credit check? Internet search? Look at the ISP for whoever linked the tape?” Cassie’s questions came rapid-fire.
“Call his old telephone number,” Danni suggested.
Cassie’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. “That seems so, so simplistic.”
“It always is. TV and movies always make the basics so outlandish. You wouldn’t believe what kind of information people volunteer over the phone. Like their weight, social security number. You name it.”
Cassie picked up the receiver of her multi-line telephone on her desk, and began to dial. It really irked her that she still knew Dirk’s old home phone number by heart. Suddenly she was seventeen again, dialing this number nervously after school. Aching for him to be home from football practice. Almost hoping that he wasn’t.
Danni gave her the thumbs-up sign.
Her heartbeat quickened as the connection went through. She’d expected to hear Dirk’s mother’s voice, but Dirk answered. Two rings. Two lousy rings and she was now ear to mouth with the demon spawn himself. Her stomach tensed with nerves.
“Hello,” he said, his voice deeper. Smooth and sexy.
Cassie slammed the phone down. “He’s there.”
“So he answered, and then you…hung up?” Danni asked, looking as if she was trying to hide a smile.
“Yes. Figures he’d be back in Carson City. We’d planned that he would become an architect and join his father’s construction firm after college. I guess he stuck to the plan. Except for the me part.” Heartbreaking rat. Heartbreaking rat with
a computer.
Danni shrugged her shoulders. “Now you know where he is.”
A moment later the phone began to ring. Cassie peered at the display and groaned. “Oh, no. I can’t believe it. That’s a Carson City exchange.”
Danni sucked in a breath. “He must have star-sixty-nined you. Sorry, I haven’t done a lot of the covert stuff since all the new phone options. Are you going to answer it?”
“No. Yes. I am a mature adult woman. I can handle this.” Cassie snatched the receiver from the bed. “Hello,” she barked into the phone.
A long pause was her answer. Then…“Cassie? Cassie Coleman, is that you?”
Every atom, no smaller than that, was charging right now. The voice on the other end was definitely Dirk Carr. More resonant and sexier, but yes, still the scumbag of her dreams.
“Yes. Who is this?” she asked, feigning polite bewilderment.
“It’s Dirk Carr. You just called me.”
She snatched a pencil off her desk and worked it between her fingers. “Oh, right,” she said, shooting for casual. “Well, I’m glad you called, Dirk. I’ve been needing to talk to you.”
Excellent. She made it sound as if he’d been the one to call and she’d said need, not want. “I was planning on driving up to Carson today. When would be a good time for you?” It would take her less than an hour to drive to her hometown, and she’d like to get this taken care of now. It’s exactly like what she wrote in her book—no putting off when putting together your life.
“Anytime,” he said, sounding open and warm. “I’m living in Carson City now. I was helping my mom move some stuff when you called before.”
“I’d heard she’d broken her knee a few months ago. How’s she doing?” Bad move. She did not want to make this personal.
“Oh, she’ll be skiing soon enough.” His rich voice held laughter. “Let me know when you get here and I’ll take you to dinner.”
