by Sosie Frost
“I just do, I guess,” I said. “It’s instinct. I’m used to kids. I know the signs.”
Tabby made a grabby motion with her tiny fists towards Rem. He hesitated as long as a man could reasonably delay before surrendering to the little girl. He took her to the couch, but she still wasn’t happy until they settled down together. I perched on the sofa’s arm, keeping a respectable and modest distance between my pink jammies and the conniving serpent staring from his wrist.
“Have you changed her?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Fed her?”
“She didn’t really want to eat.”
“Did she drink some water?”
“Yeah.”
Better than I’d thought he’d do. “Okay. Try to get her to sleep.”
He didn’t like that answer. “That’s it?”
“She has a cold,” I said. “Rest will help.”
“But there’s nothing else you can do?”
“Short of magic?”
Rem raised his eyebrows. “I’m a desperate man, Cas. Bippity Boppity Boo this shit. If it’d make the kid feel better, I’d shank the fairy with her own wand.”
“Let’s not hold Mickey Mouse hostage yet.” I scooted next to him and nudged his side. Those muscles were hard as a rock. “Tabby has a cold. It’s part of growing up. Cuddle her, keep her warm, and pray she doesn’t wake Mellie.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it. Now we can take her to the doctor tomorrow to make sure. Do you know which pediatrician Emma used for them?”
“Probably none.”
“None?”
Rem bit his words before answering. “I mean, I don’t know. She never said what she did when they got sick.”
“We’ll call Doctor Barlow tomorrow.”
“Who?”
“Simon Barlow.”
Rem fumed. “You gotta be kidding me.”
“He opened a practice in Butterpond. He’s great with kids.”
“Fuck me.” He corrected himself as I glared at him. “Sorry, Tabby.”
Rem went silent. Poor guy. Not like he knew what to do for a sick baby or a sick sister.
“How is Emma?” I asked.
I thought he didn’t hear me. He stayed quiet for a little too long. “Doing okay.”
“We could take the kids over to visit. She might like to see them.”
“No.”
Harsh and quick. I flinched. So did he.
Rem apologized and gestured to the baby. “If she’s sick, Mellie might get sick too. I don’t want to drag them around Emma.”
“Oh, the chemo. Right.”
“Yeah. Right.” He gave Tabby a couple pats to her bottom and settled into the couch with a heavy sigh. Dark circles traced under his eyes, but his smile could still melt parts of me that had no business warming for a man like him. “You sure you don’t want to be a nanny? You’re good at this.”
“I should be. I babysat enough in high school. Plus that degree I’m lugging around should prove it, even if it doesn’t seem to impress any schools in the area.”
“So why not do it?”
“It’s too much of a risk.”
“So, you’d rather stay on the farm instead?” He snorted. “You can either wait for another job to fall into your lap, or you can pray for rain instead.”
Yeah. My family had learned that the hard way. “Tell that to Jules. He’s dead-set on rebuilding the farm. Crops. Animals. Everything.”
“Why?”
I lowered my voice as Tabby finally closed her eyes. “Because that’s what Dad wanted for us.”
“Jules never got along with your dad.”
Yeah, I remembered those fights. “I guess he had a change of heart.”
Rem shuffled with the baby towards the Pack-N-Play. I helped settle her into the blankets, and we tip-toed away with bated breath while she closed her eyes.
Crisis averted, for now.
I sunk into the couch, unsure why I was even telling them any of this. “The family’s not doing so good. Mom’s been gone for four years. Dad, three months. None of my brothers even spoke to each other at the funeral. No one came home for holidays. No one stopped by to visit. There’s too much hate.” I nearly laughed. “And now Jules thinks he’ll solve every problem by planting some corn.”
“Maybe he will.”
“He wants me to stay and help.”
“Why don’t you?”
I smirked. “You, above anyone else, should understand why I want to leave.”
He extended an arm behind me, still on the couch, but inviting me closer. “Enlighten me.”
“Because I want to be like you.”
Rem nearly choked. “Like me? You don’t want to be like me, Sassy.”
“Why not?”
“You can’t even hold an axe,” he said. “Canadian winters aren’t for you.”
“So I’ll buy a coat,” I said. “Point is, you got to leave. You hopped in your car, drove away, and started a brand-new life away from here.”
“It’s a lonely, cold, and miserable life.”
“Well, I don’t think I’ll be a lumberjack.”
“Don’t think I should be one either.”
I leaned against the couch, almost grazing his arm. “Then why did you go?”
A dangerous question, especially in the middle of the night when exhaustion accidentally unstuffed all the curiosities and pains and feelings I’d shoved deep into the pit of my stomach, where they belonged. Besides, Rem might have offered a dangerous answer, something neither of us were prepared to admit.
His fingers drifted to my cheek. I craved his touch, but he only twisted one of my curls, pinching it just to watch it spring back in place.
“Why didn’t you leave yet?” he asked.
“I had to stay.”
He nodded. “And I had to go.”
“You didn’t even say goodbye.”
Rem’s eyes had a way of darkening when he got serious. “Would you have wanted to hear it?”
Yes.
No.
It didn’t matter because the past was done and we’d all suffered enough for it. Nothing would change what had happened, no matter how many times I’d hit eighty-eight miles an hour on the highway, hoping it’d propel me back five years to prevent everything from falling apart.
“What happened that night, Rem?” I whispered. “Really. What happened in the barn? What happened with the fire? What happened when you ran away?”
He teased another one of my curls. “That’s all in the past. Who can remember it?”
“I can.” I brushed his hand away only to hold it close. To feel him. To enjoy a warmth that wasn’t mine to share. “Tell me. Please.”
The shadows lifted. He flexed his fingers between mine, light and dark, smooth and calloused. With a little tug, he pulled me closer.
In another world, in another time, and with no less than two glasses of wine, I might have snuggled against his chest. Now, I knew better.
So why did I let his strong fingers stroke the back of my hand?
“Long ago…” He sighed. “An idiot boy met a pretty girl.”
“How pretty?”
“Prettiest he’d ever seen. Had all these crazy curls in her hair. Gorgeous smile. And a booty that—Lord have mercy—would have driven any red-blooded man to his knees.”
I wasn’t impressed. “Beauty is such a curse. Can’t find any jeans that fit it, can’t trust any of the neighbor boys to not be intimidated by it.”
“Well, that boy was intimidated. Only thing he could do was run far, far away.”
“Why?”
“To protect her virtue.”
And now I knew it was a fairy tale. “You honestly thought you were gonna score back then?”
“You didn’t stand a chance, Sassy.”
“What sort of girl do you take me for?”
“The kind of girl who needed a good roll in the hay.”
“Kinda hard to roll
when you burned the barn down.”
He frowned. “It would have been worse if we’d—”
“You are so damn sure of yourself.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re just as cocky now as you were then.”
“No. But I’m every bit as irresistible.”
I poked his chest, pretending not to stare at the hard, beautifully tattooed, monster of muscle. “You slick bastard. You lured me here under the pretense of a sick child.”
“I’m resourceful too.”
“There’s a word for men like you.”
He grinned. “Give me some credit. This wasn’t my plan, but I’m a great opportunist.”
“You mean, scavenger? A bottom-feeder?”
“Oh, I’ll eat anything you want me to, Sassy.”
No way. “You’ll catch that cold easier than you’ll catch me.”
“But you’re spending the night here, aren’t you?”
Oh, now I got his game. “If wishes were horses, Remington Marshall, you could buy back every animal we had to sell for Dad’s medical bills.”
“You think I’m going to let you drive home this late at night?”
“I just drove over here.”
Rem gestured to the baby. “Well, that was an emergency.”
“And maybe it’s imperative that I leave this very moment.”
“The temptation too much?”
“I’m drowning in my own lust.”
He winked. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you mouth-to-mouth.”
“My hero.” I stood. “I’m going home and getting back to bed.”
“No way, Sassy. Your brothers would kill me if I send you out alone this late at night. God only knows what’s lurking out in those deep dark woods.”
“I’m more worried about who is creeping in the living room.”
“Beware the evil you know.” His charm was boundless. So was his confidence. “It’s late. Come on. Stay the night. Hell, stay longer. I need your help with the kids. It’d be great.”
It would have been great…long, long ago. Now, I was smarter, wiser, and more vulnerable than ever. That old wound was held together with a band-aid and a couple inspirational clippings from Cosmo. Last thing I needed was a new scar to show how stupid I was.
“I’m not the little naïve girl you left behind,” I said. “I won’t fall for your tricks.”
Rem snickered. “What tricks? Offering you good money and benefits to watch the kids? I’m such a monster.”
“Slick son of a bitch.”
He took my hand. I pointed to his intruding fingers, so easily encompassing my palm.
“You know exactly what you’re doing, Remington Marshall.”
He grinned. That cocky, self-assured smile, framed by the dark scruff of a beard. If a tree fell in the forest, he had probably knocked it over with that smile. How was I supposed to defend myself? If I fell head-over-heels for him, I didn’t want to imagine the sound I’d make.
“I might be trying to keep you here.” His hand brushed my cheek. I should have pushed him away, but his touch rendered me quiet and lost in the best, most hopelessly fuzzy way. “Five years ago, I thought leaving you would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was wrong.” His thumb stroked my bottom lip. “Letting you out that door tonight will finally kill me.”
I’d go first—my heart had stopped with his touch. “We can’t do this.”
“Do what?” Rem’s lips barely grazed mine. “This?”
Another kiss. Another tremble.
Another huge mistake.
I leaned into his kiss, savoring that commanding and teasing way his tongue swept over mine. A fierce shiver surrendered my body. The warmth spread, binding me in a furious demand that nearly allowed him to push me onto the couch.
Had I learned nothing these past few years?
Rem’s words lowered, a dark and husky tease. “Cas, I’m not trying to ask your forgiveness. I know you can’t give it. And I don’t blame you. But now…I need a friendly favor.”
Another kiss. Deeper. Hotter. My chest ached, and I sucked in a quiet gasp that did nothing to quench the desire burning through me.
I escaped the kiss with a wavering sigh. “This isn’t a friendly favor. This feels like a seduction.”
Rem grinned and licked his lips as if to taste me once more. “Oh, Sassy. Believe me. You’ll know when I’m seducing you.”
Hopefully he’d let me know so I could build a better defense. Right now, the most I had around my castle was a moat of wetness sticking my pajamas to my legs. A girl needed some cannons or drawbridges or a glass of red wine for this sort of invasion.
A cool rush of air separated our bodies. I froze in the unwanted freedom.
“Favor first,” Rem said. “Seduction second.”
“So I get to reject you twice?” My voice wobbled as much as my legs. “Sounds like fun.”
“I won’t put the moves on you if you stay the night.”
“Pretty sure there’s an Aesop’s Fable that would warn me otherwise.”
“The bed is big enough for both of us.”
He quieted as Tabby fussed in the crib. The charm faded, and the worry returned. The exhaustion plagued us both. It was a long ride to the farm. And that baby wasn’t likely to sleep much at all. She needed someone to comfort her. So would Rem.
“Fine.” I gave up. “I’ll stay the night.”
He winked. “I knew you would.”
“I’ll even sleep in your bed.”
“Now it’s a party.”
“Gotta warn you…” I arched an eyebrow. “I sleep in the nude.”
“What a coincidence. Me too.”
I unwrapped the blanket from the back of the sofa and made an impromptu bed on the couch, complete with swiped pillow from the bedroom.
“You’re such a gentleman for giving me the bed. Sleep tight, Rem.”
I waved and shut the door tight, savoring his groan.
6
Cassi
I’d planned to put a good fifty miles between me and my shame—aka Remington Marshall.
Now I wasn’t sure I’d make it fifty feet.
I’d escaped the cabin at five-thirty in the morning. Just early enough to sneak back to the farm and crash in my own bed for, hopefully, the last time.
This was it. After that kiss, I couldn’t afford to stay in Butterpond. I’d spent five years getting over Rem. All he’d needed was five minutes to almost get me under him.
Tabby’s cold wasn’t reason enough to delay my trip, and I wasn’t nearly drunk enough to let Rem’s lips touch anywhere but my tush on the way out the door.
I would not allow myself to wonder what if, not even for the teeniest, tiniest fraction of a second.
Just like I wouldn’t lose myself in those chestnut eyes. I’d ignore that melted chocolate voice and forget the sweet kisses, the heat of his hands, the tickle of his beard…
Rem texted me at seven. You didn’t stay for breakfast.
The accompanying picture of a spilled bowl of cereal and half-bitten ham sandwich wasn’t the gourmet meal featured on the brochure.
I shouldn’t have replied. Watching my figure. All those Gerber Graduates go right to my thighs.
Rem wasn’t cutting me a break. You got plenty of exercise running away this morning.
He was one to talk. Imagine how toned I’ll be once I’m in Ironfield.
Won’t need to imagine if you send me a couple pics. Or if you stay here.
Not happening.
Tell me what I can do to keep you here.
Oh, it was a dangerous, terrible question. Forget the palm fronds, swinging hammock, and Mai Tai. The only thing I needed from Rem were the three little words we’d had the foresight to never admit. Even Superman knew to avoid his Kryptonite.
I smirked. I’m immune to your charms.
It was a lie, but if it convinced me long enough to pack my last bag and head to the car, I’d spin a couple other yarns.
No, I haven’t gained five pounds si
nce Easter. Go head and splurge on the new purse—what’s fifty bucks to your infinite wallet? Your brothers will be fine without you. There’s no way they’ll murder each other in cold blood over the last Pop Tart in the pantry.
Quint’s profanity echoed from the stairs. “Son of a bitch, Jules! Get your own goddamned breakfast!”
The epic battle between Toaster Strudel and Cheese Danish would occupy most of Jules and Quint’s morning. That meant I had only one brother to worry about.
The squeaking floorboards didn’t fool me. I dove for the towel on the back of my door, burst into the hall, and yelled as Tidus slammed the bathroom door in my face.
“Are we teenagers again?” I pounded against the door. “I’m leaving today. I need to shower.”
Life as the youngest of six—and the only girl in a herd of slobbering men—meant I lived on the bottom of the food chain. Scraping together the heels of the bread for sandwiches, growing up to wear Ninja Turtle handmedowns, and waking at all hours to secure a bathroom to myself.
I pounded again. Tidus spoke over the hum of an electric razor.
“Figured you’d use Rem’s bathroom this morning.”
He thought he was so damn cute. But if I had shared some suds with Rem, he’d be the first at the cabin with a loaded shotgun.
“Tidus, I’m serious. Can I please shower first?”
“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“What about Rem?” he asked.
“What about him?”
Tidus snorted. “You aren’t going to help him?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
Because life didn’t run on hormones and rainbows. “There’s too much history.”
“So?”
“He singlehandedly torched the barn. The stress sent Mom into an early grave, Dad into a depression, and scattered all of you guys to the far corners of the world. I think I ought to be on my guard with him. Now let me in the shower!”
On cue, the pipes squeaked. His ass wasn’t in the water, but he shouted anyway. “Sorry, Sassy. Can’t hear you! Get in the downstairs shower before Varius.”
Damn it. I pushed off the door and pummeled my way down the stairs. The old wood creaked, and the railing wobbled and cracked—too many years of too many stampeding boys careening down the steps. I crashed through the kitchen. Jules slapped Quint’s finger out of his face.
