I looked around the hall we were standing in, nobody else was around, so I gave her a kiss. "Listen, I hate long good-byes, and you have a busy day ahead of you. Remember that payment covers your board, so make sure they give you a room here. It'll be safer than that crawl space you're living in now. Also work hard, the next time I come through here I want to see a doctor! Okay?"
"Oh thanks again!" And she threw herself at me and kissed me again. Actually I kind of liked it and would have loved to linger, but she had a career to start. So I gently pried her off again and propelled her down the hall, back to the Squirrel's desk.
"Do your company proud!" I whispered smiling.
"But who are they?" She asked confused.
"I don't know, make one up!" I grinned and left. My last glimpse was of her sitting down and talking to the Assistant.
I then walked all the way to 'The Water Hole', and told the bartender he should call my friends and earn the reward. By the time they showed up I was quite smashed. No mean feat when you considered that they got there in under twenty minutes.
"Jotun! Just where the hell have you been!" Hissed Azelett, who was as angry as I had ever seen her, her tail fur bushed out like a bottle brush.
"Sorry, I didn't want to make you guys worry. Strike that, yeah I did want to make you worry at first. Now I'm sorry I did. But you were right, all of you. And I really did need some time off. Have a drink, relax, accept my apologies, okay?"
"You're drunk aren't you!" Accused Azelett.
"Damn straight!" I slurred. "But I'm on vacation, you said so yourself. Now are you going to make me drink alone?"
"Nah," Said Shotoon smiling and sitting down. "But you did have us worried there you know. Nobody knew anything, or at least they weren't talking!" He picked up one of the glasses I had sitting on the table and helped himself.
Rieselle sat and looked at Azelett who sighed and joined us. She picked up one of the other drinks and sniffed it, "what is this stuff anyway?"
"Velvet bomb. Guaranteed to take out a rhino. Try it!" I grinned lopsidedly.
"How many of these you have so far?"
"A lot, come on, try it."
She did, actually they all did, thought only Shotoon had two. We switched to beer after that, I didn't protest, I didn't want to pass out anyway.
"So where'd you go?" Asked Azelett icily, "And where's your little playmate?"
I was surprised she didn't say Bitch! She was steamed all right.
"I went and saw a play, heard a Wolf recite his own poetry, met some nice people with typical jobs, and went rafting in the mountains." I took a gulp of my beer, "Great huh?"
"And the Barmaid?" She asked again, just as icily.
"She's at school I guess," I turned and starred at Azelett. "I haven't hurt a fly since I saw you last. I've been very, very, very, good. Would you please accept my apology and let us all move on? I said I'm sorry and for once I actually mean it."
She wasn't ready to buy it yet, but I saw her jerk a little, so I think Rieselle had kicked her under the table.
"Okay," she said sullenly, "But we're still going to talk later!" She warned.
"Yes," I sighed. "There is much I need to say. But we have tomorrow for that, tonight lets party!" I laughed and called for another round.
Rieselle and Shotoon loosened up, and Azelett didn't try and play the ice queen all night. So I had fun, and I think they did too. We were unmolested the entire time, and made it back to the rooms they had rented by midnight.
I was actually able to walk without too much help, but then I had thrown up in the Bar's bathroom before leaving, so there wasn't too much alcohol left in my gut.
The next morning found me with one hell of a hangover, I had forgotten to take any de-tox pills the night before. I was looking around for something to take when a knock came on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked quietly.
"It's Azelett, who else?"
"Quit screaming and come on in, it's open!" I went back to searching my bag.
"What's with you?" She asked coming into the room.
"Headache, got anything?"
"That's what happens when you drink too much!" She said sternly.
"I'd pin you to the floor and make you come clean if I didn't feel so bad," I muttered. "What is your problem? Don't you like me anymore? You want off the team?" I sighed the last part.
"That wasn't a nice stunt your going off like that, it would have been my neck and you know it!"
"I don't see Rieselle and Shotoon holding any grudges," I retorted. By this time I found a pain killer and swallowed it without water. Hopefully it'd take effect before my head exploded. Corporate knows Azelett wasn't helping my head any.
"It wasn't their idea, it was mine! They wouldn't have gotten in half the trouble I would have! And who knows just how much that could be!" She was building up power like a ship getting ready to jump, and in my present condition I sure didn't want to see what would happen then.
"I would not have skipped, or left you to face the company alone!" I almost shouted it out. "I do not, and will not ever abandon any member of my team no matter how much they may have succeeded in pissing me off!" I was in her face now, my fur had all bushed out in anger and she suddenly realized I was not in a healthy mood.
"Let's get one thing perfectly straight! And that goes for you two in the hall," I added catching the scent of my other two team members through the open door. "You are called my handlers for a reason and you've all been in this business long enough to know it! I am the boss, period. And if you don't like my decisions or my behavior, or anything else about me for that matter, you don't call me on it in public! Or I'm gonna walk!"
I sighed and grabbed my aching head, the pain killer hadn't taken effect yet. "Look," I continued in what I hoped was a more reasonable tone of voice. "What was I supposed to do? Sit around and argue with you? Beat the living daylights out of you?
"Because if I had stayed around that's what would have happened! It doesn't matter that you were right and I was wrong. It wasn't the place to discuss it."
I noticed the other two were in the doorway now looking at me, kind of differently too.
"What's with you two?" I asked concerned.
"You just admitted you were wrong," said Rieselle. "You're not dying or something are you?"
"Yeah you must be sick," teased Shotoon, "Cause you've never done that before! We thought all the apologizing last night was just because you were drunk."
I turned and looked at Azelett.
"What are you looking at me for?" She asked.
"I thought maybe you wanted to get a shot in too," I sighed. "Look guys, you're the only friends I have, and this week I finally figured that out. I also figured out a few things about myself that I really don't know how to deal with yet. So I would really appreciate all the slack you can afford, and your forgiveness as well. Please?"
"He's even getting polite!" Rieselle said acting shocked. But I could tell she was teasing me now too.
"What things?" said Azelett, "Just what have you figured out about yourself?"
"You really do like to pry don't you?" I asked giving her a slanted look.
"Damn right I do," she said putting her hand under my muzzle, "But you're right about us being your handlers and right now you don't look too happy. Give!"
I glanced at the others, then the door. They got the idea and stepped inside closing it.
"I've been lying to you all about something, and maybe myself a little as well." I started and looked at them.
"About what?" Shotoon asked looking concerned.
"About this damn job. I keep saying how I hate it and all that, well that's not exactly the truth. Yeah I hate all the controls they have on me, and I hate the place they keep me locked up most of the time. But not the job. Oh, no. I love the job."
I glanced up and noticed them exchanging glances with each other, so I continued.
"I enjoy the killing, hell I love it! It makes me feel like a go
d, knowing there isn't anybody I can't nail! I've never missed, did you all know that? Not once! I'm addicted to the whole thing, it's like a drug, and I'm not so sure I want to stop. Hell, I don't know if I could, even assuming they'd let me!"
"Well I'll be," Mumbled Rieselle. "I never ever thought I'd see one of you guys admit it."
"You knew?" I asked looking up quickly.
"Hell, yes Jotun! We've known you for years, how couldn't we? Even Azelett here figured it out already."
"Then why didn't you say anything?" My vision was starting to blur, I had to keep blinking my eyes.
"You know how thick your head is Jotun," She smiled softly. "The only way you'd ever believe it was if you figured it out yourself."
It took me a moment and a couple of deep breaths to compose myself. "Thanks for putting up with me and everything. I appreciate it. Friends?" I asked looking around.
"Friends!" They all said, and I gave them each a hug.
We packed our meager belongings and walked back to the spaceport, there wasn't any rush so we took our time. Azelett was back to being her old self, and was doing her best to cheer me up. It was working too, I felt like a totally different person walking back. I hadn't changed much really, but the little I had changed was the most important part. I had some true friends now, and I was honest with them. It didn't matter that they had known the truth all along, what mattered was that I wasn't afraid to admit it anymore.
You can't really be honest with yourself if you're not willing to be honest with your friends after all.
The next few weeks were some of the most enjoyable I had ever spent while returning. I didn't mind that I was going back, I mingled with the crew and even had fun. I kept out of trouble and just totally behaved.
"Holt's gonna be thoroughly confused." Rieselle said with a snicker the day before I was due to be picked up. "Not a single complaint, hassle, or incident. The man will just go crazy!"
"Maybe you should have me strapped to a stretcher under sedation!" I laughed, "That's about what he expects this time!"
"That or a corpse," agreed Shotoon. "But I'd rather see the expression when he shows up and there's nothing wrong!"
"So what are you going to do when you get back this time?" said Azelett.
"I was thinking of changing the rules at first. Now though, I'm not so sure that would be a good idea. It is an insane asylum even on its best days, but I am going to try and tone it down some.
"The biggest thing I want to do is find a way out," I said determined. "I want to live in the real world again! It may still be the same old gripe I've always had, but for once I think I just might mean it." I laughed as I thought about it, I wonder if I could be happy in a regular job? Or if I'd miss the hunt and the kill too much to stay away ...
When the shuttle arrived I was waiting at the hatch to meet it. Holt never even got the chance to get off, I just walked right on before he had even gotten out of his seat.
"What, your weren't ready to rush to my rescue!?" I said acting shocked.
"Boy that was quick," He replied looking up and settling back down. "I suppose I should check with the Captain to see what kind of trouble you’re running from, but screw it." He turned forward to the pilot, "Seal it and let's go!"
I sat down surprised myself, I had expected Holt to go find out what kind of trouble I had caused. He was that kind of guy.
"You getting short Holt?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?" He looked back up from the report he was reading.
"Well, you've been here a long time and all that," I started.
"Cut the shit Jotun. It shows huh? I guess I should've expected you to pick up on it. Yeah I'm out a here as soon as we get back."
That was a shock!
"As soon as we get back? Then why did they even send you?"
"Because somebody had to bail you out of whatever you got into this time, why else?"
"They replacing you?" I hoped I wasn't going to be stuck with just Harold and Jaime, that would be trouble.
"No" he said and he smiled.
He knew it too, something was changing, I wonder what else he knew?
"Any idea what's going on here?" I asked quietly leaning forward.
"You're asking my advice?" He chuckled, "Why would you ever care what I think? Why should I tell you?"
"Because while we don't like each other, we've always played it straight and never lied," I growled back. "Now give!"
He sat back and thought a moment, then looked around. He noticed the open door to the cockpit, so he closed that. Then he leaned back and talked.
"Okay, we both know Harold and Jaime aren't here to help you. I think a lot of my duties will be pushed off onto your Field partners. Siedman is making you part of ‘his’ team, whatever that is. Just like Jaime and Harold are.
"He's a rising star that one, though why he came to this group I'll never know. He's got a few more people he's recruiting into his little network, none of the old hands like me though, all new people. That's suspicious too."
"Wait a sec," I thought about that. "Now you said he chose to come here?"
"Yeah, he's high enough up to have his say, he's a Junior VP but not that junior."
"And he's taking a personal interest in the Head Assassin," I said thinking. Some things were falling into place, but not all. "Do you think he's being sanctioned by the Board or the President?"
"I don't see how he couldn't be, at least by somebody at the corporation's head. Hell even the CEO keeps abreast of what goes on here. They all know your code name by heart I bet!
"Anyway, something's up. What I have no idea, but I can say that I'm glad I won't be in the middle of it! And I can't say that I'm sad that you are!" He laughed at that, "Good Luck Jotun! I think you're going to need an awful lot of it."
"I have some advice for you, too." I said after spending a few minutes thinking about everything he told me. Something was nagging at me, but I sure as hell couldn't put a finger on it. "Get as far the hell away from me and this place as you can. It'll be better for your career."
"What, a parting threat Jotun? I'm surprised at you!"
"It's not a threat, it's a fact. I have a bad feeling about all this, and I also feel that people around me are going to get in deep trouble with corporate over this. Think about it, if a shakeup is coming, they'll need scapegoats. That means a lot of firings and demotions."
He thought about that alright! People like him couldn't leave the company, if he left the company might feel it couldn't trust him anymore, and with all that he knew about the corporation's seamy side, that would be fatal. So if he got demoted, he was screwed for the rest of his life.
"Damn, you got a good point there. But I've already been re-assigned to Kera, I think Siedman wants me where he can keep an eye on me. I'd never get past that."
"Oh, I can think of a way," I said smiling.
"What?" He demanded.
"Severe psychological stress, combined with some physical trauma as well." I smiled as big as I could. "From like if I was to break the both of your legs before we got back."
"You wouldn't." He gasped.
"Only if you ask me to." I laughed smiling. I was enjoying this way too much, I guess I am still something of a sick bastard at heart. But hey, change never comes fast.
"You lousy son-of-a-bitch," He swore. "Can I at least take some pain killers first?"
"Sure," I said passing him the bottle from my bag. "Don't worry, I'll make the whole thing real quick, you'll be in shock before the pain hits anyway."
"You know what the sickest thing about this is?" he asked as I got up.
"No what?" I stretched a little to limber up, I was going to make this as fast and painless as I could. I did owe him that much.
"I'm gonna actually be in your debt for breaking my legs!"
"Isn't life great?" I smiled.
7
I was on 'no visitors' for a month after that. Siedman gave me a lecture personally about 'respect for fellow compa
ny employees', but I could tell his heart wasn't in it.
The wink kind of gave it away.
Holt was right about that, Siedman didn't like him and didn't trust him. Suddenly I didn't feel so guilty about maneuvering Holt into the position I did, and could see why he accepted it. The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that there was something wrong going on in the corporation.
So I spent a lot of time lying in my Lilac bushes and enjoying the open space while reading Shakespeare. I did try and see what I could find out about my last assignment and target. Nothing was mentioned anywhere in any of the newspapers about it. Even on the planet in the town where it had happened, and getting that info took the whole month! The local newspaper only had a sidebar on a disturbance in the local church. But our intell gave us a confirmed hit, so I knew it hadn't been a double.
I did see a few interesting changes in politics taking place on Earth: First, the Government was beginning to listen to the public outcry about the violence in Corporate maneuvering. Second, several Senators had retired suddenly and there were rumors of a scandal. Third, there was a big push afoot to increase the size of the Earth Government's Space Navy. And forth, there was a new anti-corporate political movement inside the largest political party on the planet that might affect the next presidential elections.
Azelett showed up exactly one minute after the prohibition on my visitors ended.
"Before you start!" I said jumping out of bed and grabbing her wrist, (well it was a minute after midnight!) "Let's take a walk." I dragged her out to the gardens, where I was sure nobody could hear or see us.
"How's Holt?" I asked quietly.
"Fine," she looked quizzically at me, "They transferred him out three days after you thrashed him, why?"
"I just want you to know before you go off on me that he agreed to it. Asked me to actually. He needed a good reason to get out, fast."
"And you were just too happy to give it to him weren't you?" She said looking at me.
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