The sound of clanking armor and Ashra’s crying faded further, echoing softly as they descended the stairwell. Yuiv collapsed to sit, bringing his knees up to his chest and cradling them as he bowed his head and sobbed.
In his own throne room before all of their people, Adariel struck. She used a tool of science to stun Yaokken, and when he fell, she seized upon the black crown.
Chapter 27
To Make Amends
A coward the Imperial Guard had called him.
In the dark of a forgotten passage, crying like a child, the sting of the knight’s epithet rang painfully true to Yuiv. His true soul-staining sin had never been lying, or stealing, or treason, but cowardice. It had always been easier to avoid the truth, take what he wanted, or yield to pressure than to do what was hard. Being strong was hard, it was scary. It required one to face pain and uncertainty. Being a coward was easy, requiring no cost but one’s own self-respect, something Yuiv had paid freely.
Yes, he understood now and it was as if he saw his past through new eyes. Cowardice had been why he had let Calid turn him into a thief, for to refuse the older boy would’ve meant losing his friendship and protection. Cowardice had been why he had let Leadren bully him into doing his dirty work; he had been afraid of what the governor might do if Yuiv refused him. Cowardice had been why he ignored his instincts and helped Leadren open the Sentinel Gate. Cowardice had been why he had nearly fled Hirath, afraid that facing an Amigus magistrate would mean a prison sentence. Cowardice had been why he had stood paralyzed in the dark while three Imperial Guards took the princess to what was likely her death or worse.
Yes, he was a coward, a despicable, selfish coward.
“I’as sorry,” he whimpered as he sobbed. Oh, if only there were some way to undo all that he had done, to fix things, to, what had Alderman Ekale said? To make amends? Yes, if only there were a way he could make up for opening the Sentinel Gate. That was the first in a cascade of mistakes that had led him to the dark of the secret passage, a scene emblematic of his shame. If only he could do something to change things. He wasn’t powerless, for he was of the Kalyra and had been gifted with something few men had. The problem was that he couldn’t decide how the ability to heal was an asset to him in his current situation.
“Why are you crying, Yuiv?” Tyra asked. Thinking that the voice was inside his head, Yuiv started as he turned to see the woman kneeling beside him, her crystal eyes giving a surreal cast to the dark chamber.
Yuiv bowed his head. “I’as let em take her, and I’as done’d nothin to stop em. I’as scared.” Yuiv was surprised how easily and how fully he slipped back into his street speech.
“You still blame yourself for all of this?” she asked.
Yuiv nodded, scrubbing his eyes on the sleeve of his gentlemen’s coat. “If I’d never open’d the gate, everythin’d be fine.”
Tyra rubbed his back. “No, Yuiv, Leadren would have found another way. This isn’t your fault.”
“I helped em cuz I’as scared. Same witha princess, I let em take er cuz I’as a coward.”
“They would have killed you and taken the princess anyway.”
Yuiv looked up at her. “What good is bein Kalyra if I’as can’t help nobody?”
Tyra smiled at him. “You are very special, Yuiv. More special than you know.”
“You don’t know’d me!” Yuiv snapped.
“Yes, I do,” Tyra said.
“How?”
“I am your mother,” she whispered.
Yuiv’s tears staunched. “Wha-dya you say’d?”
Tyra smiled, crystal eyes lighting the room. “I said that I am your mother, or I was when I was alive.”
“You’as dead?” Tyra being a spirit had never occurred to him, for she seemed as real and as solid as any normal human, she even felt warm.
She nodded. “I shed my Dyn almost fourteen years ago, when you were only a few months old.”
“An my papa?” Yuiv asked, hungry to hear everything she had to say.
“Jalidar was his name, and he died around the same time. “She rocked back to sit.
“What happened?”
Tyra drew in a deep breath. Do spirits breathe? “When you were born, your father and I were living on the outskirts of Hirath. We were young, newlywed and poor, but we had a small farm that Jalidar had inherited from his father. Unfortunately, he also inherited all of his father’s debts which turned out to be far greater than anyone in his family had known. Because of ruthless creditors and two years of poor harvests, we lost the farm and everything we owned, save for our gelding, Lek, and an old wagon. So we took what we had and we left.”
“Where’d ya go?”
“We were heading to Lisidra. Your father had heard that they were always in need of miners to work the ore veins of Tuchian, and although it would be a difficult life, it was all the hope we had. As you were still very young and the weather cold, you and I spent most of our time riding in the wagon as your father drove our one horse. On the fifth day of the journey, we were waylaid by a band of highwaymen.” Tyra hooked a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “Before I knew why the wagon had stopped, the bandits had killed your father and had begun tearing apart our wagon looking for money. They were angry when they found none and so spent the next two days getting their reward out of me.”
Yuiv suddenly felt a mixture of hot indignation colored with nausea. “They hurt you?”
Tyra nodded. “For hours at a time, giving me only an occasional break, which I devoted to tending you. I kept you alive with only my Jia since the thieves had eaten our food and had drunk our water.”
“You’as Kalyra?”
Tyra smiled ruefully. “I was an Estadi, something that wasn’t much help to me in that situation. Perhaps if I had been an Astadi instead, things would’ve ended differently.” Tyra sighed. “Eventually, they got bored with me and left, leaving me lying on the road naked and bruised. Knowing that my infant son was alone in what was left of our wagon, I forced myself to rise and stumble over to check on you. Their last round of abuses had been the longest, and so I had not been able to tend to you for almost a full day.” Tyra’s voice caught, “Apparently, it had been too long.”
“What?”
“When I found you, you weren’t breathing. The cold and lack of nourishment had stolen your life.”
“I’as dead?”
Tyra nodded, a small tear leaking down her right cheek. “Those bandits took everything from me: your father, Lek, my honor, and my helpless baby boy.”
Yuiv shook his head. “I’as don’t get it. You’as usin yer Jia on me.”
“You should know by now that an Estadi can only heal in proportion to their physical health,” Tyra chided. “That’s why you weren’t able to fully heal Sitrell the first time you tapped your Jia.”
“Cuz I’as tired an hungry.” Yuiv nodded.
“And I was only able to trickle a little of my Jia into you because of the abuse I was suffering.” she shook her head. “You were so small that I thought it would be enough.”
“But if I’as dead―”
“I used my Jia to revive you.”
“But Jalek say’d Estadi can’t fix the dead. How didya―”
Tyra raised a hand. “It is true that only YaJiann can give life, but an Estadi can restore the dead on one condition.” Tyra paused and dropped her eyes to the floor. “An Estadi can restore life,” she said, “by sacrificing their own.”
The revelation slammed into Yuiv. His young mother, the only member of their little family to survive the bandit’s assault, had freely given up her life in order to restore his. She had not been a coward, not like him.
“Why?” he whispered, tears again flowing down his chapped cheeks.
“There is scarce a mother who wouldn’t die to save her child; it is the way of things.” Tyra turned her lamp-like crystal eyes on his face. “But more than that, I wanted you to have a chance at life. I was young, true, but you had just come into
the world, and having your life stolen from you before you ever had a chance to live it seemed too unfair, too cruel. So I pled with the Creator for a miracle and YaJiann whispered to my mind the secret of the Estadi, the key to raising the dead.”
“But how’d I get to Lisidra?” Yuiv asked.
“When I found myself freed from my Dyn, I came to understand that while I couldn’t directly interact with your world any longer, I could still have an influence. So, I found some travelers and pressed my will upon them until they were convinced to take a road that led them to you. After they buried me, they took you to Lisidra and left you at the orphanage.”
“An then you’d goed to the Crystal Star?”
Tyra smiled and shook her head. “I was permitted to remain behind, so as to watch over you.”
Yuiv looked up in surprise. “You’as there for all my life?”
Tyra nodded.
“An my papa?”
Tyra looked sad again. “Because I chose to stay here, I still have not seen Jalidar since before he died.”
“Why?”
“Laws governing the interaction of the planes are very strict. The universe is a place of order and balance, Yuiv.”
Yuiv shook his head. “No. I’as mean’d, why’d you stayed to watch me?”
Tyra smiled again, her eyes brightening as she did. “Because I am your mother, and”―she hesitated―“you are very special.”
Yuiv scoffed. “If I’as special, I’ad could do’d somethin to fix things.”
“You can,” Tyra said, standing.
Yuiv looked up in surprise. “I’as like you, an Estadi. I can’t fight.”
“What if I told you that another army approached Salatia Taeo from the south.”
“More Auk’s?” Yuiv ground his teeth.
Tyra shook her head, “Thousands of Amigus troops.”
Her words thrilled Yuiv, causing the storm clouds of his despair to start waning and a ray of hope to shine through. “How?”
“I brought them from Sayel Nen,” she answered, “but unless they can find a way into the city, they will not be able to help. That’s why you need to go open the south gate and let them in.”
“Me?”
“You wanted a chance to make amends? Well what better way to atone for opening the Sentinel Gate and letting in an enemy, than by opening the south gate and letting in an ally?”
“The south gate,” Yuiv said. “That’s far.”
“Yes, and the city is being overrun. You’ll need a horse to make it there before the Aukasian army can secure it.”
“What bout the wall guards?” he asked. “Cana they’d open it?”
“The entirety of the Amigus wall guard was diverted to defend the east gate, leaving all other gates abandoned.”
“But, I’as not a soldier, I can’t fight.”
Tyra stared down at him, shining eyes intense. “You are the only one who can do this. No one else knows and no one else has your gifts.”
“What gifts!” Yuiv snapped. “I’as can’t heal the gate open.”
“You didn’t know you were a Kalyra when you opened the Sentinel Gate.” Tyra smiled. “And you didn’t know you were a Kalyra when you brought Sitrell to the hospital in Hirath. And you didn’t know that you were a Kalyra when you snuck into one of the most heavily guarded palaces in the world to speak with a man locked in the dungeon. You have cunning and courage, Yuiv, gifts as rare as anything the Kalyra possess.”
“But you’as helped me.” Yuiv bowed his head.
“And I am helping you now, but I can’t do this for you. Only someone who can walk in your world can save the city.”
Yuiv thought of Sulia. Sitrell’s mother had treated him with more compassion than any other person he had ever met. She didn’t treat him like an orphaned thief; she treated him like a noble-born son. What would happen to her if the city fell? Sitrell had saved his life and taken him into his own home. At the very least, he was honor-bound to save the man’s mother. Yuiv cast a tempted glance at a ladder plunging down into a black shaft. That would lead to the tunnel, to escape.
No. Yuiv shook his head. No more running away, No more cowardice!
He stood, meeting Tyra’s glowing crystal eyes. She was smiling like a proud mother. Did she know his thoughts? “Okay, I will do it.” His language was clear, perhaps his etiquette training was taking hold.
Tyra’s smile broadened. “There is a stable in the courtyard below. Go there to get a horse, ride to the south gate, and make sure to avoid the main streets. Once at the gate, you can open it by means of a mechanism inside the gatehouse.”
Yuiv exhaled, trying to breathe out his anxiety. “And you’as be with me?”
Tyra walked to the false wall and pulled open the hidden door. “I will always be with you, my son.”
And then she was gone.
Yuiv rushed back into the storeroom, the spring-hinged secret door slamming shut behind him. The room was a mess, broken barrels overturned and the wooden door splintered and hanging askew. Yuiv pushed past the door, palm catching a splinter as he entered the stairwell. He glanced down the steps and dashed down, taking two or three steps at a time. I have to get to the gate before the Auk’s do! It wasn’t long before he came to the landing where Gyaden lie in his gore. Yuiv avoided looking at the man, his shame recurring at the sight of the fallen hero who had given his all to protect the princess. He might die too, but the possibility no longer paralyzed him. In fact, he felt an odd sense of rightness, as though he were finally doing what he was meant to do.
Though the tower was tall, Yuiv was able to reach the bottom of the stairwell fast. When he landed at the bottom, he found the Niazeride hand unit, lens shattered and case cracked. Part of him had hoped that the weapon might have miraculously survived. Disappointed but not surprised, Yuiv dashed out of the stairwell into the palace foyer and froze, skidding to a stop on the smooth marble floor. The titanic chamber was filled with Aukasian soldiers. He ducked back into the stairwell. How was he supposed to get out of the palace?
Window, Tyra whispered. Yuiv titled his head up to where moonlight poured in through a hole in the wall three flights up. Another followed further up the stairwell wall followed by another and then another.
“Shards,” Yuiv rasped.
He was going to have to climb down the outside of the tower. Not giving himself time to think about the challenge, he bolted back up three flights to the landing with the window. He had to jump and grab hold of a stone slip in order to hoist himself up to the opening where he rested into a straddling position, left leg dangling above a dizzying drop to the courtyard below.
He reached up and examined the spire’s exterior wall, stone just rough enough to provide Yuiv handholds, small handholds. He took another look at the ground, wishing he hadn’t as the fifty foot drop made him sick to his stomach. He shook off the vertigo and sucked in a deep breath. For Sulia. For Sitrell, for Lisidra and Hirath, and for Gyaden. He clenched his eyes shut and brought his right leg up so that he was sitting on the outer edge facing the night.
For Olan.
With that, Yuiv reached up, found stones to grip and scaled down the side of the tower. At first, his fear of falling made the process grueling. But once he settled into a rhythm and focused his thoughts on other things, the time passed more quickly and Yuiv soon found himself a little over halfway down the side of the spire. He could see a slate gable roof below―the stables. A trumpet blew and Yuiv looked out over the city. Though dark, he could see black masses moving through the streets, one procession heading south.
“Hafta hurry,” he whispered.
He quickened his movements, heart pounding as he abandoned examining each handhold for reliability. It was a race against time and he couldn’t afford to be cautious. This proved to be a mistake as his foot slipped from its perch and gravity pulled him off the wall.
Yuiv’s frightened shout cut off as he slammed into the roof of the stable, lungs expelling all of his wind. He sucked
at the air, gasping for each and every breath. After a moment, breathing came more easily and he turned his attention to a bruised shoulder. Yuiv glanced up to where he had fallen from and marveled as he realized that he had underestimated the height of his climb. From what he could tell, he had to have fallen over twenty feet to the stable roof. Still not necessarily a lethal drop, but he should’ve at least broken a bone. As he rose to all fours, Yuiv caught a light-blue reflection in the opaque slate roof. It was fading, but he unmistakably knew what it had meant; his Jia had ignited as soon as he had fallen. Was that why he hadn’t been hurt? He wished he knew more. Perhaps Tyra could tell him more about how to use his power and exactly what an Estadi could do.
Yuiv scuttled along the roof, crouching low as a contingent of Aukasian soldiers marched out from the front of the palace. He crept to the roof’s far side, slid down the incline, and swung himself over the edge. He dropped eight feet to the ground, and rounded a corner to the building’s unlocked side door. Yuiv slipped inside the palace stables, darkness and equine silhouettes greeting him. A horse nickered at him as Yuiv approached its pen. He unhinged the wooden half-door, grabbed the horse’s bridle and led it down the aisle toward the hanger doors.
He didn’t waste time trying to saddle the horse—he didn’t know how anyway—and so it took him a moment to figure out how to pull himself onto its bare back without the aid of a stirrup. Once atop the horse, he snapped its reins and launched the beast into a gallop using the shadow of Aradell to help hide him from the light of enemy torches.
As Tyra had directed, Yuiv kept to the back-paths and alleyways, avoiding Salatia Taeo’s arterial streets, that were flooding with Aukasian infantry. Yuiv looked up at the southern horizon. Too many buildings blocked the wall from view, but he knew he was winding in the right direction. It would take double the travel time moving so cautiously, and he very well could still die in the attempt. It was in that thought that Yuiv came to accept that possibility. He was still afraid to die, but his fear felt subordinate to his purpose. Did that mean he was no longer a coward?
Heroes of the Crystal Star (Valcoria Book 1) Page 33
