by Izzy Shows
It seemed like getting her flowers and taking her on a date wasn’t enough. I had to do something more, be more, in order to be worthy of her.
She’d saved my skin more times than I could count, and I wanted to do the same for her.
“You’re awfully quiet,” she said, breaking the silence at last.
“Hm? Oh, just thinking.”
“What are you thinking about?”
Shit. I should have realized she’d ask that.
“Er, nothing important.”
I saw her glance at me out of the corner of my eye. “You’ve been a little withdrawn lately. Anything you want to talk about?”
“Withdrawn? Me? Pfft.” I smiled. “I’m never withdrawn.”
“Sure you are, especially in the beginning, but I’d thought that was past. Then you kissed me, and...well, you seem to be reverting.”
Oof. She was hitting the big stuff now. How could I explain to her that I was afraid? It didn’t seem like a fair situation, but it was the one I was in. She was definitely taking advantage of the whole ‘stuck in a car together’ thing.
“I just...” I stared out the window, trying to gather my thoughts. She waited patiently for me to continue. “I’m worried I’m going to hurt you.”
She made a small sound, and I looked over at her to see what was wrong, but she just seemed a little startled.
“Blair, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Why don’t you let me decide what I want to be a part of?”
“But everything goes wrong around me. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
Like I did Mal.
The thought came as quick as an arrow, and it wouldn’t go away once it was in my mind. That wasn’t a fair thing to be thinking, but I couldn’t seem to get it to go away. Emily wasn’t like Mal at all; she was the light while he was the darkness, and I knew she wouldn’t hurt me like he had.
But what if I drove her away? Everyone left me sooner or later. Mal had actually been quite predictable in that regard, though it had hurt all the same.
“You’re not going to lose me,” she said, as if it was that simple.
“You can’t possibly know that. You don’t know if I’m going to say or do the wrong thing one day, and then you’ll wish you’d never bothered with me.”
She sighed. “You don’t put a lot of stock in yourself, Blair. That’s something I hope you’ll let me work on with you, but I know it’s probably a tall order. I’ve been around for this long, haven’t I? And you haven’t done anything to scare me away.”
“Not yet,” I muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“Mhm. Listen, I know it’s scary. Change is always scary, but change can be a good thing. And in this instance, it’s a good thing. Don’t run away from me before we get anywhere.”
She’d made some good points, but the anxiety in the back of my head wanted to argue with her. She didn’t understand how things would be different now. Because yeah, sure, she’d stuck around for this long, but that had been under a certain dynamic. Mostly a working one, with the friendship sprinkled in.
The evenings we’d meet for tea to talk and catch up--I smiled as I remembered that. Would we still get to do that? I’d never been so much at peace as I was when I was spending time with Emily, and those evenings were a favourite of mine. I didn’t see a reason for that to go away.
But I saw a lot of reasons for her to go away, and she’d take those evenings with her.
“You’re not saying anything,” she pointed out.
Whoops. Apparently, I’d been quiet for too long.
“I don’t know what else to say. You make some logical points, but that doesn’t change the way things seem to be from this side.”
“I know. There’s only so much you can do for the emotional side of the brain, other than to give it time. I hope you’ll give it time.”
Time. Yeah, I could do that. It was the least I could do for her.
Twenty Three
Home.
The moment I was inside my door and safely locked in, all I wanted to do was crash on the couch and drift off into the sweet embrace of slumber.
That was what Diego had told me to do, and I knew it was the smart thing to do, but there were more important matters at hand.
“Miss!” Fred squealed as he came into the living room and saw me. “You is not looking good!”
Ugh. He was the second person to tell me that today. What, did I look like a zombie or something? Apparently, overreaching yourself with magic makes you look like shit, but there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about that without wasting time sleeping.
“You need sleep.”
Weylyn’s voice was inside my mind, as if he’d known what I was thinking.
“I’ve got stuff to do,” I said.
“It can wait. You won’t be able to get much done while you’re in this state.”
“Well, I have to eat, don’t I?” I asked as I headed into the kitchen. “I can talk and eat at the same time.”
My energy levels were dangerously low, and even the thought of putting a sandwich together sounded like too much work. But it was the easiest way to get some energy into my system without wasting time.
I could quiz Fred while I ate, and then maybe I could take a nap.
Not a bad plan, eh?
But not a sandwich. That was too much effort.
I pulled a can of soup out of the cabinet and dumped it into a pot that I put on the stove.
A few minutes later, I was spooning it into a bowl and carrying it into the living room. It wasn’t going to be the tastiest meal I’d ever had, but it was chicken and vegetables and that’s good for you, right?
Yeah, protein, all that junk. I put the bowl down on the coffee table before I let my knees release and crashed onto the couch. Too much energy required to lower myself down like a normal person. I grabbed the bowl off the table and started spooning the hot liquid into my mouth.
It burned on its way down--I’d just taken it off the stove--but the moment it was in my mouth, I was already feeling better. Yeah, eating was a good idea. And besides, Diego had been worried about me sleeping. It was probably a good idea to get some energy into my body before I passed out.
Just in case I went back into that ‘total body shutdown’ version of sleep. I didn’t want to do that, if it was as bad as Diego had said. He’d certainly been worried about it.
It didn’t make sense to me that an emergency shutoff could be bad for you, especially when it had been the only time I’d gotten any sleep without nightmares.
Not the only time.
The memory came, unbidden: of the night I’d been at Mal’s place. I’d crashed on his couch waiting for him to come home, and he’d watched over me while I slept. It had been the first time I’d had any kind of peaceful sleep, and it had been beautiful.
It scared the crap out of me. I didn’t like to think about the whys of that scenario, because they opened up a conversation I wasn’t ready to have with myself.
Just like anything else that had to do with Mal and me. I didn’t want to go down that road. I was sure I wouldn’t like what I found there, no matter how inviting it might be.
“So, Fred,” I said after I’d gulped down another spoonful of soup. “Let’s chat.”
“Yes, Miss?” He came to take a seat beside me, looking just as concerned as he had when I’d first come into the house.
“I want to know everything you know about the vampires here in London.”
His forehead wrinkled. “Miss Blair, that is a lot of things to be sayings. Cans you not be more specific?”
Taking another sip of the soup, I thought about that. That was the trouble with Fred. He couldn’t just give you information; you had to ask for it. It wasn’t that he refused to volunteer information, it was more that he didn’t exactly put two and two together when it came to what you might need to know in addition to what you’d asked for.
You had to be spec
ific.
“All right, let’s focus it in a little,” I said. “Rebellions. Has there ever been a vampire rebellion in London?”
He nodded his giant red head. “Yes, Miss. There has been several.”
I nodded. “OK, and the city’s still standing, so that’s good. Good indicator that we could probably survive this.”
He squirmed in his seat.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Right?”
“Well, Miss, these rebellions is usually taking place in the middle of a war. Is when things are most unstable. Vampires is taking advantage of this and challenging their leaders during times of great suffering. This is also helpings them, because it hides the destruction they is causing.”
That hit me like a sack of bricks. OK. So, everything was horrible then.
“Exactly how much destruction are we talking, here?”
“So many deaths, Miss Blair. So many innocents has died because of vampire revolts. They is not caring about the innocents. Some of them is enjoying the slaughter. They is usually the young ones that do this. The old ones is knowings the value of keeping things in balance, but the young ones...” He trailed off, shaking his head.
And that was exactly what we were dealing with. Young vampires challenging Dudley because they didn’t like his restrictive laws on feeding. But those laws were the only thing keeping a tenuous peace in place inside the city. Not that the average citizen knew about that peace, but I did.
I knew that if the law was lifted, blood would run freely in the streets. It would mean anarchy. It would be hell to try to get control of. I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own. The Order would have to help.
God, and Diego wouldn’t be able to go home anytime soon.
“All right, so we have to avoid the rebellion at all costs...”
“Yes, Miss.” Fred’s eyes were wide as he looked at me, and he shuddered. “If a rebellion is allowed to take place... The carnage, Miss. Is awful. They is destroyings everything, raping and pillaging and hurting and killing, and is so, so bad.”
My stomach churned at the idea of bloodshed that would be reaped upon my city if I didn’t pull this off successfully. Why did everything always have to rest on my shoulders?
Just once, I would have liked for someone else to take care of things for me. Maybe I could take a holiday, then.
Yeah, right. Fat lot of good wishing for that would do me. Might as well wish for snow in hell.
“And have there been any rebellions that were cut short? That the nobility, the Baron or whatever, was able to take control of?”
Fred hung his head. “No, Miss. These rebellions, they is never ending well for the reigning Baron. If the rebellion is allowed to take place, it will mean death.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat and put down the spoon that had been halfway to my mouth. I couldn’t eat anymore.
I had to stop this rebellion, no matter what it cost me.
Twenty Four
Unable to think of anything else, my stomach churning at the thought of the bloodshed that was headed our way, I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and clear my head.
I was going to handle this, just like I always did. Right?
I’d fucked up royally with the Utakar, but that was just one black mark on my record. And then there’d been the fight during the Proving, when things had taken a particularly nasty turn for me. If it hadn’t been for the other Wizards intervening when I’d screamed out that the officer was tainted, I would have been killed.
So, overall, I hadn’t been having a good time of it lately.
But that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be able to pull this off. It was all about confidence, right? I just had to be confident in myself, and I’d get this handled.
All I needed was for the vampires to believe that I was big and bad enough that they’d stay in line. Surely, it wouldn’t take too much longer for that to click into place for them.
They hadn’t taken too well to my presence so far, but it was bound to happen. It was a new scenario for them; they’d never had to deal with an outsider before. Soon, they’d recognize that there was nothing they could do but submit to Dudley, and then I’d be able to go my own happy way and get back to business.
I lit my cigarette and took a drag off it, allowing the nicotine to rush through me. The buzz helped to numb the thoughts that had been racing through my mind, taking me to a place where I could relax at least somewhat.
There was going to be a week or two of tension, and then everything was going to be.
“Yeah, and pigs might fly,” I muttered as I took another drag off my cigarette. I knew the truth, deep inside my soul. This was going to go badly, and I was going to have to pull off the impossible, squashing a rebellion before it went too far.
Historically, it had never happened, according to Fred. And Fred was never wrong. He’d never once given me a piece of information that had proved to be false--well, OK, there’d been that one time with the werewolves. The little guy was super-prejudiced against werewolves. He’d painted them as savages who would rip your face off no matter what you tried to say to get them to calm down. Then I’d met Geoff and the guy was hella sexy, but also a good guy.
We’d mind-melded together, and I’d seen the truth inside of him. He wasn’t a cold-blooded killer, and he was doing everything he could to keep the beast caged inside him. It had hurt to see the amount of effort and pain he had to be going through every day just to live a normal life, but I appreciated that he was working so hard.
It couldn’t be easy. But he was doing the impossible.
If Geoff could do the impossible, so could I.
I took another drag off the cigarette, nodding to myself. Yeah. I could handle this.
Three figures emerged from the fog that had crept up on me out of nowhere. My body tensed, my muscles going rigid, and I cursed myself for being stupid enough to go outside when I wasn’t up to full power. I didn’t even have my wands on me.
Thank God I always had my rings and wind chain with me, and the cuff that afforded me strength. Originally, I’d wanted it to hide the mark that Mal had given me, but it had seemed pointless to constantly wear something that didn’t do anything when I had the opportunity to make it into a focus.
That allowed me to still wear it today, even though the mark was gone. It was a constant reminder of what had been and what had changed.
The three figures came into full view a moment later--vampires.
Fuck. I didn’t have a single stake on me.
What were the chances this was just a pleasure visit?
Slim to none.
“What’s up, guys?” I tried to sound nonchalant as I took a last drag off my cigarette and tossed it down to the concrete, where I stubbed it out with my boot.
“You’re the Hunter,” one of them said. He sounded dead inside, which sent a shiver down my spine.
“That I am.” I would have preferred to refute the statement, but it wouldn’t do me any good now. I’d publicly proclaimed myself the Hunter in front of all of the vampires. They all knew who I was, even if they didn’t know my actual name.
And now they seemed to know where I lived.
Had they followed me home from Diego’s? Did they know about Emily, and if so, were they going to hurt her?
Emily’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. She’s slaughtered hundreds of undead. She can handle a few vampires.
I had to remind myself of that. She wasn’t going to go down easily just because a few pesky vampires were sniffing around. Hopefully, they didn’t even know about her, and this was a freak incident.
“Dudley brought you in,” he said. He appeared to be the ringleader. Or at least, neither of the other ones was doing much talking.
I wanted to use the spell Diego had taught me today to sense exactly how powerful they were, but I knew I was low on magic and that was a bad idea. If I was going to have to fight these guys... Oh, boy. I was in for a bad night.
Could I make it back insid
e the house?
Instinct told me that even if I could, it’d be a bad idea. If I ran away from these guys, it was going to get back to the other vampires, and they’d know I wasn’t anything to be worried about--scared away by three vampires once I was alone.
Never mind the fact that I didn’t have any of my weapons and I was running on no sleep at all, with only half a bowl of soup in my belly. Yeah, fuck everything. I was so screwed.
“Once again, you’re correct. Dudley brought me in because some vampires seem to be screwing around. You wouldn’t know anything about that, now, would you?” It was taking everything I had to keep myself puffed up, playing the part Dudley had set up for me.
Maybe if I shit-talked big enough, they’d get scared away. Somehow, I doubted I’d be so lucky.
“If Dudley had to bring in something as little as you, he must be losing control. Not as strong as he used to be.”
Ah, fuck. And hey, hold on, I wasn’t small! I’m a tall woman, easily clearing the head of your average male, and I’d bulked up quite a bit in the past few years. I used to be a scrawny thing back, when I wasn’t eating on a regular basis--those were bad days, when I wasn’t making enough money to even pay my rent--but those days were long gone. I could hold my own in a fight, and I didn’t appreciate the implication that I was some twig they could snap.
“Dudley doesn’t want to get his hands dirty with your blood. He doesn’t think you’re worth it,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t mind.”
And that settled it. Without so much as a ‘how do you do’, they launched themselves at me.
I ducked to the ground, allowing the first vampire to slam into my door. I jumped off the small stoop and sprinted a few feet away before I turned around, crouching into a fighting stance. The three of them had to get their bearings as to where I’d gone, but now they were stalking towards me again.
You need to immobilize two of them, get it down to a fair fight.
“Terra!” I called to the Earth, lifting my hands. The magic was hard to grasp at first, but once I had it, it came with a vengeance. Roots came springing up from the ground, encircling the feet of the two of the vampires. I sent them digging into their skin for good measure, making sure they wouldn’t be able to move.
