by Faith Starr
I wonder if it’s still as soft.
With that thought ringing in my head, I forced myself to check out the itinerary on the dry-erase board because staring at Logan wasn’t doing me any good. My thoughts kept wandering back to when we were together.
I sighed and rested my elbow on the table, chin in fist.
Damn Logan Trimble!
“We’ll be dividing you into groups for all the activities,” Susanna continued, “which will happen on a rotation basis. After dinner our son, Brian, will organize you into groups by name and number. Please take note of which group you’ll be in prior to going to bed tonight, so you’ll know where you have to meet up in the morning for your first activity. We’ll keep you plenty busy with lots of fun outdoor adventures, but if you find you want to take a break, please let one of our staffers know beforehand. We’d hate for other guests to miss out on their scheduled activity if a staffer has to wait for you to show up. If you find you’re running late for whatever reason, please come to the dining hall. I’m usually in here prepping meals. I can either escort you to your group or have you join another group, depending on what the activity is and its location on the ranch.”
It would probably be beneficial for me to let the staffers know tonight I’d be holed up with my e-reader. That way they wouldn’t be expecting me to show up for any of the scheduled activities. I had downloaded a few good books at the airport prior to departing, so I had more than enough to keep me occupied while here.
“Brian, Layla, Andrea, Kyle, Bruce, Stephen, Patty, and Taylor will be leading the groups and assisting around the ranch. Feel free to ask them for assistance as well as me and Jack. We’re here to make this vacation as relaxing and carefree for you as possible. I don’t expect you to have all their names memorized by the morning, but by week’s end, trust me, you’ll know each and every one of them by heart. They’re going to give you a vacation to cherish. So, with that being said, I’m not going to take up any more of your time because I’m sure you’re all starving. Please come up and help yourself to our delicious buffet. Everything’s fresh and home-cooked daily by me, Patty, and Andrea. For those of you who informed me in advance that you follow a vegetarian diet, those dishes are on the left side of the buffet. Bon appétit.”
She waved her hand over the buffet and stepped behind it to help serve with some of the other employees. Jack assisted in keeping the line of guests flowing smoothly, joking around and talking with each person who passed by him.
So far, I found the place to be exceptionally welcoming. The smell of the food alone put me in a semi-hypnotic state. Too bad I couldn’t eat any of it. I wanted to wait for the mad rush to dissipate, especially for the tall, well-built hunk of a man named Logan Trimble to get his meal and perhaps take it to go. Yeah, I know—wishful thinking on my part.
Kate spotted me and approached.
“Why are you sitting back here?”
“Because when I came back from the restroom, Susanna was talking to the group. I didn’t want to interrupt.” God willing, she’d buy my rationale.
“Well, now she’s finished and dinner’s ready. Come on. Let’s go get something to eat. It smells fantastic in here. I’m starving.” She licked her lips.
For once I agreed with her, my stomach begging for whatever Susanna served that intoxicated my sense of smell. Unfortunately, Kate would be the only one tasting that decadent food. The small amount of confidence I thought I had gained walking back into the dining hall must have decided to chill outside with the fresh air and the Addisons’ dogs.
My hands still trembled with fear of the unknown. Pretty pathetic, I know. But that was how deeply Logan had hurt me, and my heart had never recovered because of the pain he had inflicted on it.
There was no way around it—I’d simply have to wait until he finished eating and left the building.
“Are you okay?” Kate gave me a thorough inspection from head to toe.
Wow, how touching that she’d actually detected my unusual behavior. For the most part, she remained too consumed in her own thoughts to take notice of others around her.
“My stomach’s a little upset.” I rubbed it and scrunched my nose to make my lie sound more plausible. “It’s probably from all the traveling. You go on ahead. I think I’ll go sit outside and get some fresh air. I’ll come back when I’m feeling better.”
She shrugged and left for the buffet line. She evidently hadn’t caught sight of Logan yet, because if she had, she would’ve been chewing his ear off and pointing in my direction.
I stepped out onto the deck again and sat on the wooden rocking chair, using my feet to push me back and forth at a slow and steady pace. I didn’t understand why I continued to torture myself. In the big picture, the situation regarding me and Logan was no big deal. People ran into their exes every day, and the world didn’t come to an end. Except in my case: did those people carry around as much baggage as I did over my failed relationship?
My stomach gurgled so loud one of the dog’s ears perked up and he looked over at me. Shit. I couldn’t go much longer without nourishment. I didn’t want to pass out from low blood sugar.
On the bright side, maybe the guests would be finishing up soon and leaving the dining hall to head over to the bonfire.
Okay Drew, you can do this. It’s time to walk the plank. I certainly didn’t want or need an audience witnessing the dreadful occurrence.
The three or four steps to the dining hall entrance felt more like three or four miles as I trudged to the door. Peeking through the screen door, I saw guests beginning to shuffle out on the other side of the building. Yes! What a relief. Perchance I’d be lucky and get to ride solo in my quest for food.
The dining hall hummed with the few remaining guests when I entered, most of them bringing their empty dishes to the counter for washing.
I hightailed it over to the buffet line, where staff members had already removed most of the food. Damn. It was slim pickings by this point, but I didn’t care. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. So I gathered what scarce food remained and sat at an empty table. I scanned the room, noticing a couple of stragglers chatting over tea and coffee. Fortunately for me, Logan had never been the chitchatting type. He wasn’t one of them.
With closed eyes, I made a silent prayer of thanks for his absence, then opened them and dug in to my food. The macaroni and cheese tasted as scrumptious as it smelled and even after all this time, was still hot.
Too hot.
Ouch!
I burned my tongue. I fanned my mouth and went to take a drink when I realized I had forgotten to get myself one.
Shit. I hurried over to the beverage bar, poured myself a glass of ice water, and took huge gulps.
Mmm. It felt so good, washing the remnants of scalding-hot food down. I drank some more for good measure. That was when I felt his presence, his all-consuming presence.
“Excuse me.” He reached in front of me to get a glass.
Great. He didn’t recognize me.
For added insurance, I admired the wall opposite us.
So far so good.
My glass could use a refill, but I waited for him to finish filling his cup with lemonade first.
When I turned around, his gaze caught mine and my eyes widened.
“Drew?” He stepped back, staring at me.
I could tell he had the same amount of awe going on as I did. At least I’d had a breather to prepare myself for our chance meeting. Not that it helped calm me down in any way, shape, or form.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
My palms had begun to sweat so profusely it surprised me I didn’t drop my glass. I set it on the counter next to us.
“Hi, Logan. Fancy meeting you here.” I hated my nervous giggle. It always showed up at the most inopportune times, like now.
The corners of his lips rose. I’d seen the gesture on multiple occasions. He was amused. Jerk. It was too bad his smile got my heart beating faster every time I saw it.
“What’re
you doing at Addison Ranch?”
Was that delight in his voice? Say what? I hadn’t expected him to be so thrilled to see me yet my psyche welcomed it.
“I guess I could ask you the same question.”
“I’m here for some R and R.” He swiped his hand through his hair. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re here. You look fantastic.”
It didn’t get missed that he gave my body a once-over. Let’s hear it for the minimal amount of makeup I’d put on.
I dried my hands on my shorts and picked up my glass. I took a few sips of water, hoping that would help my overly dry throat and numb tongue. The darn liquid didn’t want to go down, though. Swallowing became a struggle.
“I’m here with Kate, my sister. Do you remember her?”
“Of course I remember Kate. I guess things must be better between the two of you if you’re vacationing together.”
His eyes narrowed; suspicion in them. He knew there had to be more to the story. He and I had been together long enough that he knew all about Kate. In fact, he’d never been fond of her mean-girl style of dealing with people.
“No, things aren’t better. We’re here on her honeymoon.”
His brow went down. “Her honeymoon?”
“Yeah. The groom changed his mind at the altar, so here I am.” I put my hand up to emphasize my pretend enthusiasm, spilling water out of my cup in the process. I ignored the mess. Logan glanced at the small puddle on the floor but didn’t say anything.
“That’s fucked-up. Guess her loss is my gain.”
Huh? My confusion must’ve given me away, because he clarified.
“We’re both here together.” He pointed between the two of us.
“I wouldn’t quite say we’re here together.”
Shut up, mouth!
He chuckled at my comment.
“I was just about to eat dinner.” I didn’t know why I’d said that. He hadn’t asked. My nerves had me saying stupid shit in an attempt to fill the awkward silence.
“Mind if I join you?”
Say what?
I blinked so much, I probably resembled someone with a nervous twitch disorder.
“Sure, why not?” I forced my lips to smile without quivering and took some deep, calming breaths as I traipsed to the table. The deep breaths didn’t do shit to help calm me down, and with Logan following so close behind me, I caught a whiff of his cologne.
The ass still wore my favorite scent. And why did the few short steps to the table feel more like a two-mile jog?
5
Logan
Well, I’ll be damned. And to think, I’d wanted to bolt after dinner. Bumping into Drew? Shit, the last thing I ever expected to happen, especially out here in the boondocks. I found it to be almost surreal. And yet here she was, as beautiful as I remembered but sporting longer hair. Her sparkling green eyes still brightened up her entire face. And her smile? Fuck, it could light up the sky on the darkest of nights.
I wondered if she still hated me. I’d royally fucked things up between the two of us. And despite the fact that I took full responsibility for my actions, it still felt like she’d ripped my heart out when she broke up with me.
Drew saw through all the bullshit and knew me as Logan Trimble, a regular guy who loved to play guitar, not the well-known guitarist for Steam. Hell, for all I knew, she was a follower of our band and viewed me differently now that the guys and I had become famous.
Nah. Somehow I knew that when it came to Drew, that would never be the case. She used to come watch me and the guys play local gigs, cheering us on and beaming with pride even if our audiences only had five people in them. Back in the day before we’d made it.
Hmm, how things had changed. These days our audiences and paychecks were a lot bigger. We didn’t get mobbed every place we went, especially when we rode solo, but our faces became more recognizable on a daily basis as our popularity grew. And along with that fame for me were the nightly fucks with nameless women who didn’t mean shit to me. The best part about sending them off on their merry way afterward—they couldn’t hurt an already broken heart. To this day, I still winced when I thought about the look on Drew’s face when she had walked in on me and that slut making out on the couch.
Christ, what a fucking painful memory. I released a heavy sigh, my usual when rehashing the past.
At the table, I sat opposite Drew and watched her take a small bite of her food, subsequently wiping her mouth.
Fuck, I couldn’t believe she sat in front of me. I consciously blinked to make sure my mind hadn’t taken off to dreamland because the chances of bumping into her at the ranch had been slim to none.
“You used to come here with your family every year.”
She remembered. How touching.
“Yes, ma’am. This very one.”
“It’s ironic that Kate wanted to come here on her honeymoon. Don’t you think?”
“I’d say. What a coincidence.” Or possibly a sign? I preferred the latter.
She shrugged and took another bite of her macaroni.
I felt somewhat relieved she had taken the lead in the conversation because I suddenly had difficultly stringing coherent thoughts together, something that never happened when I spoke to a woman. But Drew wasn’t just any woman. She was the woman.
“I’m impressed with your memory. My parents used to bring me here every summer for a week. I’m keeping the tradition alive, or at least trying to.” Whew, luckily my brain got on board and worked properly, giving my mouth intelligent words to say.
Her eyes took on a somewhat dreamy haze. “I know this may sound crazy, but I can still remember you going on and on about your experiences here as if they happened yesterday.”
“Now you too will get to see what I bragged about. This place is still as beautiful.”
“I haven’t seen much of it other than my cabin, which I must say is quite cozy and comfortable. It also helps that Kate and I have a two bedroom.”
Drew had her own room. That meant she’d have privacy. Lucky me.
Shit. I needed to stop this train of thought pronto. She probably only acted friendly toward me because of the situation we currently found ourselves in, when in reality, I’d bet my life on the fact she despised me. My smile abruptly faded.
“Maybe I can give you a tour? I know this ranch inside and out.” The words kind of slipped out without any forethought on my part.
I waited anxiously for her reply, hoping and praying I hadn’t jumped the gun.
She took another bite of her mac and cheese, her free hand twirling a piece of loose hair. I watched her intently, thinking about how I used to slide that wavy brown hair behind her ear. And the scent of it? Mmm, she had always used a shampoo I loved the smell of. I inhaled deeply, the divine scent quickly coming back to me.
Fuck.
I couldn’t help but stare at her, yet I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I noticed by the way she shoveled food into her mouth without responding that I was doing exactly that.
Rejection sucked and I had a feeling it would greet me in the very near future.
“So tell me how things are with you?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to hear her blow me off so figured I’d postpone the inevitable with a bit of distraction.
Where the fuck had my self-confidence gone? I pressed my lips together, disappointed in myself.
Her gaze met mine. “I work at my dad’s veterinary clinic, and I’m also taking a few classes. I know you’re still doing the rock ’n’ roll thing with Joey and Trevor. That’s amazing.”
“Yup, it sure is.”
Seems she knew about us. Then again, how could she not? I mean, not to boast, but the guys and I were plastered on T-shirts, posters, YouTube, the entire social medial gamut. You name it, we were on it. I had no clue if or how much she followed the band, though.
“You guys always did have something special.” She raised her glass and took a drink.
She and I did too but
because of me, had lost it. Could that change while at the ranch?
“You should come hear us play sometime.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think that would be such a good idea. Besides, these days I only listen to country.”
I grabbed my chest in mock pain. “Country? You used to hate that shit.” I still did.
“My taste in music has since changed,” she stated all too matter-of-factly. Her eyes met mine, defiant.
Point taken. I got her drift. Her taste in music changed because I’d ruined the genre for her that I played in.
“Listen, Drew, what happened between us was years ago.” She had never given me the opportunity to properly apologize. I figured why not jump at the chance. I had no idea if or when I’d get another one.
I tapped my foot on the wooden floor, my knee bobbing up and down in anticipation of her response.
“Why don’t you tell my heart that?”
Ouch!
I leaned back in my chair, the blow she gave me fierce.
“You know what, I think I’m done. If you’ll please excuse me, it’s been a long day of traveling. I think I’m going to head back to my cabin.” She stood, picked up her plate, deposited it on the counter by the others, and headed for the exit.
Oh no, she didn’t.
“Drew.” I sprinted after her, catching her before she made it out the door.
She spun around, and a single tear slid down her cheek. Fucking déjà vu, if my heart wasn’t crushed all over again. The pain inside me hurt more now than it had back in the day. To see her crying over a stupid mistake I’d made years ago.
I reached out and wiped the wetness off her cheek.
“I have to go.” She focused her attention everywhere but on me.
“Can I walk you to your cabin?” I wanted to kick myself. My plea sounded more like a last-ditch effort to keep the conversation going.
“Why?” Her bottom lip jutted out.
“Because I want to.” Try desperately wanted too.
She swallowed. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
