by Lisa Simmons
“Hi.”
“Can I come in?” he asked, pushing his way past be before I could respond. I turned on the spot and watched him walk into the small living room and sit himself on my couch.
“What are you doing here?” I asked flatly, not moving from my spot near the door.
“I’m great, thanks, and how are you?” he said sarcastically, ignoring my question and patting the seat next to him. I didn’t move.
“Sure, great, now what are you doing here?” I asked again, staring at him with my eyebrows pulled tight. He looked wrong sitting in my living room, and I wanted him gone.
“I told you, I want to talk to you,” he said calmly, finally pulling his hand off the seat. I walked stiffly to sit on the chair as far away from him as I could.
“And I said I didn’t want to,” I said coldly, glaring at him. His expression was a strange mixture of hope, confidence, and sadness. It was strange seeing such different emotions on his features. “We have to talk at some point,” he urged. “Might as well be now that I’m here.”
I sighed heavily and put my face into my hands. My fingers rubbed at my temples, attempting to soothe the headache that had suddenly settled there.
“What do you want to say, Jack?” I asked, my voice sounding exhausted. As if I didn’t already have enough to worry about with the whole Reece situation, this would just about push me over the edge. “Will you look at me?” he asked. I tried not to roll my eyes as irritation flashed through me.
“Yup, okay, now what?”
“I just want to say I’m sorry, Abigail. What I did.... it was awful. I never should have cheated on you in the first place much less let it drag out for so long,” he said, his brown eyes peering into mine intently. His words sounded sincere, but I had a hard time believing them after years of listening to this exact tone explain away the most grievous of offenses. “You mean for half of our relationship?” I said harshly. “That long, Jack?”
“Yes, Abigail. I made so many mistakes with you and I see that now, I’m so sorry,” he pleaded. My heart was pounding in my chest, but for a different reason than when it happened with Reece- I was angry. So, so angry. “You see that now that I’m gone, huh? ‘Cause it’s so hard to be good to me and want to be with me when I’m with you?” I spit, my jaw clenching tightly as I tried to control my anger.
“Abigail, I was wrong, but I see that now. I’ve changed, I swear. No more lies, no more cheating, not more... yelling,” he said quietly. My mind flashed to the numerous occasions when he’d lost his tempter, yelling at me and anyone in the vicinity as he lashed out in anger. It had been yet another red flag in our relationship where I should have paid attention and left him, but I hadn’t. “I don’t think people can change that much, Jack,” I said, my voice losing some of the conviction it held earlier but still firm. My heart jumped nervously and I automatically leaned back in my seat when he stood from the couch and moved to sit in front of me, crouching down so he was level with me. He was far too close for comfort.
“Please, Abigail, give me another chance,” he whispered. “Doing that to you is the biggest regret of my life, and I want you back.”
I stared at him for a long time, trying to see something other than the red that blurred my vision and feel something other than disgust in my heart, but there was nothing. What we had been was long gone, and it was never coming back.
“No, Jack,” I finally said. “I can’t forgive that.”
Anger flashed through his face, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he clenched it tightly. As quickly as it had appeared, however, the anger was wiped from his face, replaced by a sad expression that was almost believable. He was trying very hard to make me believe his façade, but it wasn’t working. I could see through him- he was still the sane lying, manipulative jerk he had been. He sighed heavily before speaking. “Always so stubborn. Give me some time and I know you’ll come around,” he said, flashing me his feigned smile again. I resisted the urge to scoff at him.
“I don’t think so.” In a way, I was thankful for my anger because it stopped me from feeling the hurt that was still very present in my heart- the hurt in my heart that lingered just enough to stop me from letting Reece in, that stopped me from experiencing something I desperately wanted but couldn’t let myself have. “You’ll come around, you always do,” he insisted annoyingly. The smug look on his face was grating on me more and more by the second, so sure that he would get me back eventually. I almost wished I could tell him everything I’d done with Reece, but I cared too much about him to use him as a weapon to hurt my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t respond to him, only glared in hopes that he would get up and leave me alone. Luckily, he did just that as he rose to his feet to stand in front of me.
“Always good to see you, Abigail,” he said sweetly. Too sweetly; it made me ill.
“Right.”
He cast me one last look before crossing to the door and letting himself out. As soon as the door shut I let out a heavy breath I hadn’t been aware I had been holding. I was so relieved that he was gone I actually let out a little laugh, which was ridiculous because laughing was about the last thing I felt like doing. My heart felt heavy with everything that had happened- Reece finally opening up a bit only for me to selfishly run away, then Jack showing up here and practically threatening to get me back eventually. I knew I couldn’t sit here all night or I’d go crazy thinking about everything and trying to fight the urge to run back to Reece. I made my way back to my room where I checked my phone, disappointed I had no missed calls or texts from Reece, not that I had expected to. He definitely wasn’t the type to come running after me, his pride too strong to allow him to do so even if he had wanted to. I flipped through my contacts until I found Lauren’s number and called it, needing some distraction from my self-loathing and endless thoughts of Reece.
“Hello?” she answered brightly.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, hoping she would be free to do something tonight to get my mind off things.
“I was just about to shower and start getting ready! What are you doing tonight?!” she asked excitedly, her voice chipper.
“I was just gonna see what you’re doing,” I said with a light laugh, her happy tone already making me feel better.
“Chloe and I are going out! You should come!” she exclaimed. I shouldn’t be surprised- those two lived to party on the weekends. As much as I didn’t really feel like it, I figured it would be better to go with them than sit at home alone and cave to whatever whim struck me.
“Yeah, alright! I’ve got to shower and stuff too then I’ll come over, sound good?”
“That sounds perfect,” she said happily. I could practically hear her smiling into the phone, pleased to have another recruit for the night. We said goodbye and hung up the phone. I took a deep breath, determined to have a good time tonight and to not think of Reece once. Or at least, try not to. A little while later, I had showered, gotten myself completely ready, and was on my way to Lauren and Chloe’s house that they shared. They both cheered excitedly when I walked in, offering me a drink before I had even set my purse down. “What’s the plan, then?” I asked, smiling at them both. The night was off to a good start, and I felt the happiest I had all day.
“Pregame here a bit then go to that big kegger everyone’s talking about! It’s just down the street,” Chloe said excitedly as she took a long gulp from her cup. I nodded, unable to think of anything else to say. There was a high chance Reece would be at the party tonight, because so far he’d been at every single one I’d been to. The campus wasn’t really that big, and there were rarely more than one or two big parties a night, so everyone went to them. My pulse increased in my veins at the thought of seeing him tonight, but I tried to ignore it. I could do this.
Before I knew it, I found myself being dragged along by a sufficiently drunk Lauren and Chloe, both of whom were gleefully discussing the prospects of men at the party. I tried to join in their enthusiasm, but onl
y really was able to contribute an excited ‘yeah!’ or ‘can’t wait!’ here and there. Once again, my mind was consumed by Reece. I wasn’t really aware of the party as we approached, the noise and the crowd seeming the same as every other party I had been to. My senses were too busy searching for him to absorb anything else going on around me. Lauren pulled me through the crowd, her grip the only thing steering me straight as my eyes searched the faces around me for the only one I really wanted to see but knew I shouldn’t. I felt anxious when I couldn’t find him, my body yearning to be near his despite my decision to stay unattached. I knew the instant I saw him, it would be nearly impossible to stay away, and I could feel my resolve crumbling by the second. His large frame was nowhere to be found, however, and I found myself wanting to go search for him and apologize, to take back what I’d done this morning and tell him that I had feelings for him, too.
I had all but made up my mind to seek him out and finally be open and honest with him when I caught sight of a very familiar looking silhouette. The wide shoulders were unmistakable as they tapered into a lean waist, the dark back of his unruly hair easily identifying him to me. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew it was him thanks to the many times I’d observed him and the many trips my hands had taken down the skin of his back. A smile split my face as I lost all my conviction to remain cold and unfeeling, and I started to move toward him, tearing my grip from my friends' without a word. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to think of the right way to apologize and tell him what I was feeling, but it was too hard. It felt good now to finally admit to myself that I wanted him more than just physically, and I was so excited to actually tell him. I hoped desperately that he would forgive me. The constant smoldering fire I felt when he was around was flickering back to life the closer I got to him. A group of people stepped in front of me suddenly, causing me to move divert from my path. I lost sight of Reece briefly as I wove around them, and I stopped dead in my tracks when he came back into my line of vision.
It was Reece, just as I’d thought, but he wasn’t alone. His hand was pressed into the wall next to a brunette girl’s shoulder, his head ducked low as his lips whispered at her ear. His chest was only inches from hers as he let his fingers toy with the hem of her shirt. I couldn’t see his lips behind her cheek, but the look on her face told me she was very much enjoying whatever she was hearing. My heart clenched so tightly in my chest I was certain it had stopped working all together, the blood in my veins turning to ice that froze my entire body. Bile rose in the back of my throat, and I felt like I was going to throw up. Hurt so powerful washed through me that it physically knocked me back a few steps, the shock of seeing him so entwined with another girl forcing the breath from my chest in heavy, painful gasps. Soon after the hurt was anger so strong that my vision started to black out- anger at myself for leaving and letting this happen, and anger at Reece for doing this again when he had just apologized last night for doing probably this exact same thing.
Worse, though, was the fact that he was obviously the one pursuing it this time, at a party where he had to know there was a strong chance I’d be at. Before I knew what I was doing, my feet were carrying me towards him so fast that I couldn’t stop myself.
The girl noticed me before he did, her eyes narrowing as she saw me approaching angrily. Her expression turned to surprise when my hands collided heavily with his shoulder, physically pushing him off her.
A shocked expression fit itself on his face as he stumbled backward a bit before his face turned to me. His eyes settled on me standing there angrily and his expression hardened even more, his eyebrows knitting down tightly and his mouth pressing into a hard line.
It looked like I wasn’t the only one who was angry.
"I told her from the start, 'I"ll break your heart.'"
Chapter 14
I felt like steam was pouring out of my ears as I seethed on the spot, unable to tear my angry gaze from his equally livid glare. My chest rose and fell sharply as I took in shaky breaths, unable to fully fill my lungs because of the anger coursing through me.
"Um, excuse me?" the girl said, a snippy tone to her voice. I was so irritated I could have slapped her.
"I suggest you leave," I said harshly to her, never dropping Reece's blazing eye contact. We both stood there haughtily, furious at each other and unable to shift our stiff positions.
"No way, I'm-"
"Go," Reece said to her, not bothering to look at her as he spoke.
His shoulders were hunched over slightly and his jaw was set so strongly that the sharp shadows that cut across his neck made his jawline look more defined than I'd ever seen it. She let out an indignant scoff and a ridiculous squeak of protest before crossing her arms over her chest and scampering away. I caught more than a few curse words muttered under her breath. Good. I had unfinished business to attend to with Reece, and I couldn't be hindered by an annoying girl who only wanted him because he was attractive.
"Outside," he growled, his lips barely moving as he spoke before he pushed past me, his shoulder brushing mine as he stalked through the house to find an exit.
Irritation flashed through me that he had commanded to follow him, but I had no choice if I was going to tell him exactly what was on my mind. I huffed sharply as I stomped after him, glaring at anyone who so much as looked at me. I could hardly see his tall frame as he rushed through the people, not bothering to look back and see if I was following or keeping up. He shoved his way through the door that led out the front, too impatient to wait for the people that waited on the other side as he disappeared into the night. My hands clenched into fist, wanting nothing more than to slam into his annoyingly attractive face as I pushed my way out the door as well. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark, but I soon saw him stalking down the walk and turning to move down the sidewalk. I forced my legs to move faster as I followed him, anger growing even more at the fact that he simply expected me to come after him. When I reached the end of the walkway, I saw he had stopped walking a little ways down the sidewalk and stood with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched me approach with rage written all over his features. My chest was heaving now as I stalked toward him, angrier than I could remember being in a long time, masking the devastating pain lurking beneath the surface.
"You've got some fucking nerve," he spit, glaring down at me as I came to stop a few feet in front of him, my fists clenched at my sides. I resented him for being so damn tall because he towered over me, giving him a distinct advantage to the fight I knew we were about to have.
"I do?!" I said incredulously.
"I have some fucking nerve?! How about you?"
"What have I done?" he said, his voice dangerously low and silky smooth as he continued to glare daggers at me. He looked even larger than usual with his arms crossed over his chest, invading more of my space.
"You're not serious," I said flatly, raising an eyebrow at him. He was so infuriating.
"I haven't done anything," he said sharply, leaning tauntingly close to my face as his words dug into my stomach.
"Nothing? Then who the hell was that?" I hurled back.
My hands were actually shaking as I pushed them into his chest, trying to create some space and shove him away from me but he hardly budged.
"I don't remember agreeing to stay away from other girls," he said, his voice dripping with a dangerous calm.
It was like he had shoved a knife into my chest. A harsh exhale ripped through my lungs as I tried to think of a come back.
"I know you didn't, but you can't take back what happened last night," I said angrily, wanting him to remember how different he had been and how gentle his actions were as opposed to the fuming man who stood in front of me.
"Last night," he repeated flatly.
"Yes, last night! When you apologized for doing this exact thing! And, if you recall, asked me to stay the night with you," I replied, my voice cracking a bit on the last word. He was less than a foo
t away from me now and it was hard to breathe with him so close.
"Yeah, I did," he said slowly, his lips parting over his clenched teeth. "And if you recall, you left me, Abigail. Not the other way around."
There it was- the source of his anger. The fact that I'd left him this morning was clearly eating away at him, so he'd chosen to respond the only way he knew how- finding another girl. Guilt flooded through me as his words repeated themselves in my head, mocking me once more for being such a coward.
"That... that doesn't mean you have to go hook up with someone else, Reece," I argued weakly, knowing he was right and that I was in the wrong. If my actions this morning had done anything, they had given him permission to do whatever he pleased. Maybe if I had stayed I'd have the actual right to be so mad. This rationale didn't help me calm down, however, and red-hot rage still flooded through my veins.
"It doesn't? What exactly am I supposed to take from that, then, Abigail?" he spit angrily, still fuming just as much as I was. His fury almost masked the undertone of hurt to his voice, but not quite. "Because to me, you leaving pretty much seals the deal that we're nothing, don't you think?"
His chest was heaving as he towered over me, only inches from my own as his blazing green eyes seared into my own. That was what I had decided earlier, right? That we couldn't be anything more than friends with benefits before it got too dangerous for both of us?
