by Lisa Simmons
"Do you still have the batter?" I asked, glancing around but not seeing any.
"It's in the microwave," he said, nodding casually toward the machine. I blinked at him before my eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
"Why?" Once again, I tried not to laugh. He stared at me for a few seconds before blinking blankly.
"I don't know," he admitted. "It goes in the fridge, doesn't it?"
I couldn't stop the laugh that burst from my chest this time. "Yes, Reece."
I couldn't quite wrap my head around how he'd come to the conclusion that the batter should go in the microwave when he clearly did know it was meant for the fridge, but it struck me as extremely endearing.
Every time I managed to calm my laughter, another fit of giggles would burst forth. I busied myself with rescuing the batter from the microwave while Reece admitted defeat and perched himself on the counter next to me. His eyes watched my every move, finding the simplest of actions fascinating. He was absolutely riveted as I poured the batter into circles on the griddle, beyond intrigued when he watched me flip them over, and entirely too entertained with watching me attempt to get the mysterious sticky goo I had somehow managed to get on my cheek.
After several missed attempts, he had laughed loudly and pulled me to him.
"You're hopeless," he muttered, eyes focused on the spot of my cheek where his thumb gently rubbed. He focused intently until he had what I suspected to be pancake batter cleared from my skin. I watched his face as he did so, his features pulled together in careful concentration. His lips were parted slightly and his warm breath slipped out silently. A shadow fell on his cheekbones from the light above us hitting his eyelashes, and the sharpness of his jaw, as always, cast a sharp shadow down his neck.
His thumb stroked across my cheek once more as his palm rested on my neck, and his eyes found mine. It was like the breath had been stolen from my chest. Such a simple action from him held so much more meaning than met the eye. When I first met him, he would have never touched me so gently, laughed with me so freely, or even entertained the idea of hanging out with me just to hang out. The thought of what we were doing now, cooking breakfast together and joking around after I'd slept over, probably would have made him scoff disdainfully.
He had changed so much yet so little throughout the time I'd known him. It was weird, because he was here with me now, doing these things that I never would have thought possible, but he was still the same person. Sure, he'd stopped sleeping around and the basically monogamous thing we had going on was different, but he himself was the same. I'd known it the first night I met him that there was so much more to him that the world saw, it had just taken him a while to reveal it to me.
He'd always been this playful, sweet, and of course, devastatingly sensual person, he just hadn't shown anyone before me. I thought of all the things he'd told me and more importantly, shown me, and I was certain he never would have done any of those things if he didn't feel pretty strongly for me. I thought of the pain I had felt when I thought, for a moment, things were over between us. I thought of the way I reacted to him physically and the way my body would practically ignite the second he touched me.
More than that, though, was the way I reacted emotionally. His mood, whatever it was, was infectious as it spread to me. If he was happy, I was happy. If he was hurting, I was hurting. It went across the board, every range of emotion hit, and I knew he felt that, too. Everything came back to the constantly burning connection I felt to him; everything came back to the way I'd felt the night I first saw him and the way it had changed into something much more powerful.
The heat of his thumb trailing across my cheek and the burn of his gaze brought me back to the surface. The look on his face told me he knew I was stuck in my head, as he often caught me doing. The moment suddenly felt loaded, as if he knew what I'd been thinking about. I needed to learn to mask my emotions better around him, because he could figure me out in approximately half a second.
"What are you thinking about in there?" he asked gently. The fact that he leaning against the counter didn't stop him from towering over me as he inspected me closely. Did I dare tell him how I'd been thinking how perfectly right it felt to be with him? How I honestly felt like myself around him and how he made me feel more alive and free than I had in my entire life? Did I dare tell him just exactly how much I liked him?
"Just... how happy you make me," I said. It was the truth, just not as in depth as I could have gone. His eyes were transfixed on mine, minute movement showing them flicking back and forth between my own as he tried to see past my vague words. My heart gave a heavy thud in my chest, certain he would see through me.
"Abigail, I..." he paused, words catching in his throat. Again, my heart pounded in my chest, this time keeping up the heavy rhythm and physically thrashing against my ribcage.
"You what?" I probed gently, praying he would finish his sentence. My body was absolutely buzzing with nerves, my muscles tense as I waited for him to continue.
"I..." he sucked in a deep breath before his expression changed in a flash from nerves to confusion to repulsion. "I smell something burning."
I blinked, taken aback by his statement. That was not what I had expected him to say at all. He tore his gaze away from me to look at the griddle next to us, where thin wisps of black smoke were rising from the now charred pancakes that had been largely ignored.
"Oh no," I gasped, the sight yanking me out of the stunned funk I'd just fallen under. I quickly moved the griddle of the hot stove top, but it was too late. The pancakes were burnt far beyond eating, and the stench of burning food was rejuvenated in the small kitchen. I frowned at the pancakes, upset that I'd burned them but more upset that I knew Reece had changed whatever it was he had been about to say.
He cackled with laughter next to me, his hand clutching his stomach as his beautiful laugh resonated around the room. He saw me glaring at him and tried to reign in his laughter, managing a straight face for only a few seconds before splitting into a wide grin again.
"Shut it, Reece," I griped jokingly. It was poetic justice that I should burn my own pancakes after laughing at his attempt.
"I don't ever want to hear shit from you again," he laughed, blowing an exaggerated breath out of his mouth as he grinned at me.
"Yeah yeah, looks like we're gonna have to go out for breakfast or starve because this clearly isn't working," I said, dropping my feigned anger and cracking a smile.
"You have a deal," he said, pushing himself off the counter and kissing my temple lightly before taking the griddle from my hand and adding it to the quickly growing pile of charred dishes in the sink.
"Go get dressed properly, babe. No one else gets to see you like that except for me," he said, eyes dropping obviously down my body before returning to my face and flashing me a grin.
"Same to you, bub," I said, eyeing his naked torso and tapping his stomach lightly with the back of my hand. He grinned widely before heading down the hallway to his room.
I followed a few steps behind him, trying not to feel disappointed about what he had, or hadn't, said. I had thought, for just a second, that he was going to say he loved me.
And for another second, I thought I would have said it back.
"Is this love? Really love? And all these demons I'm letting go, 'cause I can see what is beautiful... finally feels like I'm coming home."
Chapter 39
Abigail, I...
I...
Reece's voice seemed to be caught in an endless echo trapped in my brain, the tentative and vulnerable tone of his voice torturing me more and more with the possibility of what he had been about to say. I desperately wished he had finished his sentence before he'd noticed the burning pancakes. Better yet, he would have ignored the charred breakfast and continued on anyway. Actually, even better, I would never have burned the stupid pancakes in the first place.
Those damn pancakes had been haunting me for days now.
The pancakes and the unfinished sentence that held so much promise but never was completed. The worst part out of everything was that I was almost positive I knew what he was going to say, but I hadn't gotten to hear the words. He hadn't said what I'd hoped he would say. He hadn't said that he loved me.
Not that it meant he didn't, but these days between that moment and now gave him the opportunity to think about it more and realize he didn't really love me. It gave him time to come down from the heat of the moment, to take a step back and realize that I wasn't the one he wanted to be with.
Again, I knew I was being irrational. Just because he hadn't said it or anything close to it in four days didn't mean he wouldn't say it eventually. My heart pounded in my chest at the mere thought of his beautiful lips forming the words, their meaning directed at me while his enchanting gaze burned into mine. It was all I could think about, all I wanted, all I needed.
No matter what he was thinking, these few days had given me time to really think about my feelings, and I'd reached the conclusion fairly easily. I knew if he were to say the words he'd been so close to saying, I'd say it back in a heartbeat.
I would tell Reece I loved him.
Even the thought of telling Reece that I loved him caused a massive reaction in my body. My heart pounded relentlessly, my breathing caught in my throat, and goose bumps rose on my skin. It was as if he were actually here, green eyes examining me closely while his palms trailed down my sides, their touch burning into my skin.
I longed to hear his deep voice say the words. It was like I could feel them on my skin, sitting on the surface as they melted into the layers and warmed me beyond belief. I could imagine the way his lips would feel on mine when he'd kiss me after saying it, and the way his thumbs would trail across my cheek. My insides already burned with the way he would look at me, his ever-burning gaze searing down to my toes.
But none of that had happened, despite my wishes. Each day that passed without any whisper of emotions made my dream seem farther and farther away. I didn't want to be the one to say it first because if he didn't feel it back, that would surely be the end of us. I'd rather put off telling him for a while than risk losing him, even if I felt stronger for him than he did for me.
I took a deep breath, shaking my hands by my sides as I stopped my pacing that I had been unaware of. I was overthinking everything, I knew. I had myself nearly convinced that's what he had been about to say, but in all reality I had no idea. My thought process was based on purely hypothetical situations with no evidence to the contrary of what I was thinking. I needed to just stop thinking about it before it started affecting how I was around Reece.
Reece, who had been so amazing the last few days despite stopping his potential admission. I'd spent every night of the weekend with him at his house, a fact that Emily had been sure to tease me about when I finally came home late Sunday night. I'd laughed at her comment about how she was surprised I could still walk when in reality, I had to focus harder than should have been necessary on not wincing when I sat down.
Reece and I could easily go from playful and giddy to tearing each others' clothes off in about less than a second, a fact that we'd proven several times over the course of the weekend. I didn't specifically remember leaving the house, even though I know we did. We'd gone out to get some food at one point before hastily retreating to our little bubble and giving in to each other again.
It had been three days now since I'd spent the night with him, and my body was already feeling withdrawals from him. Not necessarily sex, but everything physical about him- the way his hands would tangle together with mine or the way his lips would press into my neck, the way he'd wrap his arm around me when we slept or how his leg would push between mine from behind, all of it. Even the gentle touch of his fingertips to my jaw was missed, and it'd only been three days.
I felt like I was losing my mind. I shouldn't be this attached to someone after such a short amount of time, but here I was with what felt like a half melted brain and a full heart.
I'd seen him over the last three days, but only briefly. We'd gotten coffee when we could, or he'd stop by my apartment for an hour or so before Emily kicked him out so I would be forced to do my homework. The time I'd gone by his house and climbed into his bed while he was still asleep had been my favorite, because he'd curled his arm around me without a second thought and without being even fully awake. It was as if it felt completely natural to pull me against him, and it had made me feel so wanted, needed, and loved.
My heart warmed at the memory. A smile pulled at my lips as I remembered I'd finally be able to see him for more than an hour tonight. I had finished all my homework for the week and I didn't have class until after noon tomorrow, so I was hoping to finally get to spend the night with him again.
My phone buzzed in my hand, making me jump because I hadn't been aware I'd been holding it. A text flashed across the screen and I grinned even wider when I saw it was from Reece.
Reece: come over babyyy :)
A flash of giddy lightness flooded through me as I practically sprinted from my room and threw my shoes on. I shouted a goodbye to Emily, who was in her room attempting to finish a paper and headed out the door, texting Reece as I walked.
Abigail: coming :)
Reece: not yet ;)
I blushed as I read the text. Heat spread through my body, radiating from where he most liked to touch me at the thought of finally feeling his body again. I squirmed in my seat as I pulled on to the main road, my mind distracted by thoughts of what I'd be doing later. The haze that settled over my brain whenever Reece touched me was already starting to roll in as I stopped at a red light. A lazy grin fell across my face as I listened to the soft music flowing from my speakers.
It wasn't quite dark yet and there wasn't much traffic as I waited for the light to change. I glanced in my rearview mirror casually when headlights flashed behind me, my eyes drifting forward again before jerking back into the mirror.
Cold fear dripped through me, followed closely by confusion as I locked eyes with the dark brown gaze of Jack. My lips parted as a shaky breath fell from my lips as he continued to glare at me from behind the wheel of his car behind me. A flash of movement next to him jerked my attention to the passenger seat, where another wave of fear flooded over me.
None other than Samuel sat next to him, a similar sneer on his face as he, too, glared at me in through the mirror. Both of them watched me with stony faces as a honk from behind them sounded, making me jump and causing my foot to press down on the gas. The green light glowed above me as I shot through the intersection, my mind reeling with fear and confusion as I drove.
Were they following me or was it just a coincidence? We were on the main road in a small college town, after all. The odds of them driving on it were pretty high. The next question that popped into my head, however, was not so easily explained away. How did they know each other? Were they friends?
In all the time I had known Jack, I'd certainly never seen or heard about Samuel. Were they new friends, or was it just something Jack had never thought I needed to know?
I reached the corner I needed and turned sharply, trying to shake the fear and anxiety that persisted as the headlights from Jack's car illuminated the cabin of mine. My pulse increased when I saw them follow me around the corner.
My theory that it was a coincidence seemed less likely now as I took another turn that they followed. I was just down the block from Reece's house, but I suddenly was afraid to go there. I didn't want Reece to know about the trouble with Jack until I had come up with something to say to Jack to get him to leave me alone.
Jack was scaring me more by the day, and I didn't want Reece to be put at risk by knowing more than necessary. Besides, if I said anything to Reece, I had no doubt in my mind now that he would act. The thought of Reece getting hurt scared me more than Jack did, so I was determined to handle this myself.
Reece's house came into
view now, and I could see the lights on through the open window. My internal debate of whether to stop or keep driving waged on as my eyes darted to the rearview mirror, the familiar headlights still reflecting in the glass. My body seemed to decide before my mind did as I turned sharply into his driveway.
Seconds seemed like hours as I watched their headlights approach and slow down to a drag, giving them enough time to both shoot me another hard look before driving away. There was no doubt in my mind now that they had followed me and that they knew exactly why I was here.
My blood seemed to run cold in my veins.
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly and leaning my head back against my seat as I tried to calm my racing pulse. I needed to get myself together before I went inside, because Reece's uncanny ability to read me would surely give me away. After a few seconds of deep breathing and a few cautious glances behind me to make sure they were really gone, I climbed out of my car and slammed the door shut.
Reece opened the door before I was even halfway up the walk, his beautiful face appearing in the frame. He grinned at me as I walked up, my fear nearly disappearing now that I was with him.
"Hi," I said, smiling widely. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, tugging me into his chest while mine found their way around his waist. My cheek pressed into the warmth of his chest and I immediately felt safe.
"Hey," he returned, releasing me from the hug and ducking his head to kiss me. He meant to just give me a peck, but my hands rose to cup his jaw and hold his face against mine. I held him to me, desperately missing the feel of his mouth against mine and the way his lips folded perfectly together with my own. His long fingers wrapped around the sides of my hips as he tugged me closer.
His kiss melted away the little lingering bit of cold that had managed hang on in my veins, fire quickly replacing where the dark had lurked. My hands slid down from his face to rest on his chest as I pulled back, dropping back down to the flats of my feet after standing on my toes to reach him better.
