by Lisa Simmons
“Stay with me forever, Abby.”
I sighed and was unable to stop the soft smile that pulled at my lips. What a silly thing for him to ask of me.
“Of course I will.”
"In your head, they're still fighting with their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns... In your head, they are dying."
Chapter 72
Reece’s skin was warm beneath my palms as they slid down his back. My hands kneaded the tense muscles beneath his skin in an attempt to relax him a bit. He lay on his stomach, arms folded beneath his head and face turned to the side while I perched myself on top of him, legs on either side of his hips. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the feel of my hands on his skin, but I knew he was wide-awake from the way his breath blew past his lips. I could feel the knots in his back, formed from a combination of physical exertion and stress, as my palms slid over his skin. I tried my best not to dig too deep and hurt his already fragile body, but every once in a while he blew out a sharp breath that he didn’t quite manage to hide as I hit a sensitive spot. It was a bit unnerving to see the darkened areas on his skin where bruises lurked beneath the surface, since I knew the cause of them was no longer living. An angry red splotch over his ribs reminded me of the fist that had connected there, and the wide, yellowish blotch across his entire shoulder sent a vision of him crashing to the ground through my mind. Seeing his injuries brought the fight back all over again, bringing the horrible sights fresh in my mind once more. I used extra caution whenever my fingertips passed over a discolored area, as if trying to draw some of the pain from his body and take it into my own. I knew most of his pain wasn’t physical or something I could take away with a soothing touch. His pain was mental, and it was rooted deep inside his brain where my gentle touch couldn’t reach. He had valiantly gotten off the floor after his breakdown and perched himself on his bed before I’d managed to make him lie down. He’d fought me, insisting he didn’t need it, but eventually I’d finally gotten him to agree to let me try and soothe the physical ache out of his muscles. I could tell it helped a bit now, and was relieved he’d listened to me. “Does that hurt too much?” I asked quietly, stopping the kneading motions of my hands to run my fingertips around the edge of a bruise lightly.
“No,” he mumbled. His lips were slightly stifled by the pillow beneath his head.
The skin around the bruise was smooth and slightly warmer than everywhere else. My hands moved to cradle his ribs, my thumbs running lightly back and forth across his skin as I ducked my head down. My lips pressed lightly to the bruise, kissing the heated surface gently as if my kiss could draw out the pain. I heard him hum quietly at the soft contact. I kept my hands placed lightly on his ribs as I shifted slightly, bringing my lips to another angry red splotch to press against his skin. I repeated the action, kissing every bruise on his back until my lips had covered most of the surface. He shifted slightly beneath me, enjoying the feel of my lips on his body. The muscles beneath his skin flexed as he moved, the fibers rolling smoothly.
“Hmmm,” he hummed quietly as my lips dragged up from their spot on his lower ribs. Kiss after kiss was pressed into his skin as my lips moved higher up his back, leaving a heated trail on his skin until I drew level with his shoulders. My chest pressed against his back as I let myself hover over him, my arms holding some of my weight off him. The skin of his shoulder was warm as it pressed against my lips and I couldn’t stop myself from nipping softly at the muscle there. He shifted beneath me again, pushing his hips down into the mattress. I smirked slightly as my lips moved up his neck, parting to allow my tongue to dart out against his skin. I noticed the way his hands rolled into fists above his head and the minor shift in his breathing as I continued. I wanted him to forget about everything that had happened, if only for a little bit. He deserved a break from whatever was going on in his head, and it tortured me to see him so shaken and unsettled. I knew he wouldn’t get over this quickly, that it would be a process, but I wanted him to have at least a few moments of unadulterated freedom from the tight confines of his mind. He let out another quiet groan when my teeth tugged lightly on his ear. I couldn’t stop my body from arching against his, pressing tighter against his back as I let my tongue run around the rim of his ear. Even now, after all that had happened, my body craved his. It appeared as though he were experiencing the same thing, because all it took was one more nip of my teeth at the spot below his ear before he moved. “Abby,” he muttered. His hands pushed up by his head, lifting himself as I sat up just enough to allow him space to flip over. He rolled to his back, keeping my legs straddled around his waist before he pulled me back down to rest on him once more. His palms landed on my thighs, heating the skin exposed there from the way his shorts I was wearing were pushed up. My lip was tugged into my teeth as I watched him, trying to decide if he was up for what my body yearned for. The last thing I wanted to do was push him if he wasn’t ready. “Fuck, come here,” he said, his eyes locking on my lip that was caught between my teeth. I smirked slightly at the memory that surfaced suddenly: Reece and I in the middle of the street, only a week after we’d met. It was after the second time we’d slept together and I’d had no idea what to say to him when I’d bit my lip between my teeth, causing him to nearly growl with lust before he’d kissed me roughly. It turned him on then and it still turned him on now. His hands slid up my thighs to grip my hips and tug lightly, bringing my body down to him once more. My chest pressed to his as my hair fell into a curtain around us, secluding us from the rest of the wretched world. I hovered an inch from his lips, reveling in his proximity and the way his heat seemed to spread to me as a soft breath blew from my mouth. His lips parted as he lifted his head to kiss me, my lips just out of his reach as they stretched into a soft grin. His hands splayed out across my lower back, putting pressure on my skin to push me down slightly and connect our mouths. I giggled into the kiss, loving that he couldn’t resist the temptation of kissing me for even a moment. My lips pressed to his and I was instantly filled with the fire I always felt with him. The kiss was different from the one we’d shared earlier. That kiss had been solid, desperate, and reassuring while this one was more like the kisses we usually shared. My elbows rested on either side of his head, holding me up while my lips molded against his. He captured my lower lip between his, tugging it back lightly before releasing it and diving back into the kiss. I could feel him coming out of his head more and more by the second, and I was relieved. He lost himself in our kiss, just like he always did. Just like I always did. When his tongue pushed lightly into my mouth, I couldn’t help but grind my hips down against him. My body acted of it’s own accord, rolling slowly while his hands guided me from their place on my hips. His fingers brushed the skin on my hips as they snuck beneath the shirt I was wearing. It was like their touch physically burned through my flesh. He didn’t break our kiss when he flipped us suddenly, rolling me onto my back and coming to hover over me in a split second. His hand tangled into my hair as he cupped my jaw, deepening the kiss once more while his hips landed between my legs. My legs wound around his waist, encircling his hips and tugging him down to me. My heart was racing so fast I could hear my pulse in my ears, and I already felt like I was on fire just from the way he was kissing me. it occurred to me that it was the first time we’d been even remotely intimate since before I’d left him, and it felt like my body had been physically broken without his. His contact started to heal the cracks in mine now, the heat searing through me putting me back together already and he hadn’t even touched me yet. He pushed his hips down to mine, putting pressure between us as he broke our kiss to trail his lips down my neck. My neck arched at the feeling and my hands trailed down his back, relishing the feel of his lips on my skin. He paused, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. I could feel his ragged breath on my neck and the weight of his body on mine as he sagged slightly, diminishing the tension in the muscles in his back. “Abby...”
“What is it?” I asked breathlessly. M
y eyes fluttered open to see his body resting over mine, the dark hair on his head coming into my peripheral vision.
“I... I can’t do this tonight.”
I swallowed my disappointment, silently scolding myself for being so selfish at a time like this. I shouldn’t have even started anything, even if it hadn’t been my intention at first. I’d let my body take control when I should have shut it down. His breath was hot against my neck before he pressed his lips lightly at the base of my neck. “That’s okay, Reece,” I said gently. My hands ran up the length of his back to pet through his hair, raking the still damp strands through my fingers. He lifted his head from the warmth of my neck to come level with my face. His brows were pulled low with concern as he watched me carefully.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t,” he said quietly. He really looked apologetic and I loved him even more for it.
“Baby, it’s fine,” I said honestly. My fingers stayed tangled in his soft hair as I let my thumbs rest along his jaw. “I swear.”
“Are you sure?”
It looked like it was physically paining him to turn me down.
“Yes, Reece. So much has happened... I shouldn’t have even started that. I’m sorry,” I said truthfully.
“But I liked it,” he said, frowning slightly. I smiled gently.
“Good.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you,” he said suddenly, as if afraid that’s what I was thinking.
“I know.”
“I always want you.”
“I know, baby, I know. It’s okay, honestly,” I said, lifting my head to press my lips to his and quiet his unnecessary protests. “No rush. Whenever you’re ready... we can be together again.”“You know how much I love you, don’t you?”
His voice carried a weight, a certain vulnerability that laced his words with so much more emotion than the simple words indicated. His eyes were tight with concern as he held my gaze, his hands finding their way to hold my face and run his thumbs lightly along my jaw.
“Yes,” I said honestly. There hadn’t been a moment since he’d told me that I’d doubted it.
“And you know I’d be a wreck without you, right?”
“I think we both would be,” I said lightly, smiling gently at him.
“Broken, pitiful, embarrassing wrecks,” he agreed with a soft smile of his own. My heart fluttered at the utter truth of the words.
“You’d always be my wreck.”
“You’d still love me even if I was broken into a thousand pieces?” His tone was light but I could hear the lurking sense of self-doubt beneath his tone, loading the words and weighing them down.
“I’d love every little piece of you.”
A soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips briefly before he leaned down to reconnect them with mine in a gentle kiss. His lips held mine for a few moments before he broke the kiss and let out a soft sigh. Our foreheads were connected for a moment, his eyes closed.
He let out a quiet sigh and pressed a light kiss to my nose. When he opened his eyes, they were bloodshot and tired looking, worn out from the events of the night and the tears he’d failed to hold back. He looked utterly and completely exhausted. “Sleep, baby,” I said softly, scratching my nails lightly across his scalp in the soothing way he liked. He didn’t argue and shifted his body slightly, sliding off my body to land next to me. His arms wound their way around me, tugging my body to his chest. Every bit of us became intertwined as his fingers wove between my own, his arms cradling me to him tightly while his thighs pushed against the backs of mine. I sighed in content as his lips pressed lightly against the base of my neck from behind, the kiss innocent and loving. His warmth seeped through the clothes of his I wore, heating me to my very core. “Goodnight, Abby,” he whispered against my skin. I squeezed my fingers around his and brought one of his hands to my lips to press a kiss to the back of it.
“Goodnight, Reece. I love you.”
“I love you,” he returned simply. I melted into him and was struck once again how it felt like it’d been years since I’d been able to do that with him. It was one of the things I’d ached for in our time apart- the possibility of just laying with him, tangled up in every way possible while listening to the soft sounds of his breath. Finally, for a moment, all seemed to be right in the world. I hated that our reunion was tainted by the horrific events that we’d experienced. I hated that Reece was being haunted by the invisible demons I couldn’t see, and I hated that I was nearly powerless to stop them. I knew, even now, that it was on his mind, and it hurt me to think of what he was going through. His breath was quiet at my ear as he held me while my fingers traced tiny patterns across the backs of his hands. I prayed he’d actually be able to fall asleep now that we were together, because I suspected it had been a long time since he’d gotten a good night’s sleep. I know it had been for me. It had felt so unnatural to sleep without him, much less in the circumstances we’d been in. Now that he was tightly wrapped around me, it seemed like I’d be able to sleep for the first time in ages even after all that had happened.
I was relieved when, after a few minutes, I heard his breathing even out with sleep. It didn’t take long for the slow, deep breaths to lull me into a sleep. The last thing I thought of before sleep overcame me was the wonderful way his body felt pressed against mine. Not in a sexual way, just in a comfortingly familiar way. It was like home. My sleep was deep, with nothing but blank darkness crawling through my mind as I slept. No dreams interrupted my rest, and my position never seemed to change as I slept deeply for the first time in forever. My peaceful sleep was interrupted, however, by a sudden jerk as Reece’s arms tightened around my waist. I blinked, my eyes shooting open before I really realized what was happening. Reece’s room was silent and nearly pitch black as I took in the feel of his arms still locked firmly around me. I was confused as to what had woken me up until he twitched again. This time his entire body seemed to jerk while he was still very much asleep. I could feel his head moving slightly behind me, and it was impossible to ignore the ferocious grip he held on each of my hands. “Oh no,” I murmured to myself quietly. I had wondered if this would happen, but had hoped against hope that it wouldn’t. The quiet was interrupted by a quiet mumbling from Reece, the words unintelligible but obviously distraught as he muttered in his sleep. His arms constricted around me even more and the muscles in his arms twitched as he fought off invisible demons in his sleep. He was holding me so tightly it was almost impossible for me to move.
“No...” he murmured. I could feel his face pressing into my shoulder while I tried to free myself enough from his grasp to move. Pain for Reece flooded through me as I imagined what he was seeing. I squeezed his hands tightly before finally managing to wrestle my fingers free. Almost immediately, his arms locked around my waist, pinning me to him. I struggled to twist in his grasp, sucking in deep breaths from exertion before I finally managed to turn around to face him.
“Abby... run...” he muttered now. His face was contorted in a tight grimace, his eyes clamped firmly shut. His lips moved with silent words he didn’t quite manage to utter, but the tortured expression on his face told me enough. My hands rose to his face to run my thumbs lightly along his cheekbones.
“Reece,” I said gently but firmly. “Baby, wake up.”
I increased the pressure of my fingers, running them along his skin more vigorously as I attempted to wake him up gently. His features twitched beneath my touch.
“No, no...” His head jerked to the side, away from my contact as he saw things I couldn’t.
“Reece, it’s okay,” I promised. One of my hands left his face to pet through his hair, pushing it off his forehead.
“Not Abigail!”
“Reece!” I said loudly, giving up on waking him up gently as I pushed my body against his. His eyes jolted open, the pupils blown so wide they nearly overtook the green of his irises. He sucked in a harsh lungful of air as if he’d been holding his breath
. He looked around wildly, his thoughts scattered and confused before his eyes locked on mine. The wild look in his eyes calmed slightly when he saw that I was there with him and not in whatever danger he seemed to have been imagining.
“Abby,” he breathed before tightening his grip on me once more to haul me into his chest. He hugged me tightly and buried his face into my neck.
“You’re okay,” I whispered, reassuring myself just as much as I was him. I hugged him back, running my hands slowly over the back of his head. “Just a bad dream.”
He blew out a shaky breath against my skin, and I could feel the slight shudder than ran through his body. He was silent as he held me to him. I tilted my head to the side to press a kiss to wherever I could reach of him.
“It’s over, Reece, don’t worry,” I said quietly. I didn’t really know what to say other than to reassure him over and over again.
“It’s not real,” he muttered quietly. I could feel his lips fumbling against my skin as he spoke. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
“That’s right, babe, it’s not real. I’m real. I’m here with you.”
“And you’re okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine,” I reassured him. He blew out a deep breath before lifting his head from my neck to look at me. My heart ached for him when I saw the obvious angst in his eyes.
