by Lisa Simmons
I chewed on my lip in thought. She was right- it wasn't that I was so torn up about ending the family tradition of being a doctor so much as the fact that I felt like I was constantly falling short. All through my life, I'd felt like I wasn't enough. It was clear to me now just how much that had carried over as I thought back to the start of my relationship with Abigail, when I had myself fully convinced I wasn't good enough and that she was far too good for me.
I still believed that to be true.
"Yeah, I guess so," I said finally, agreeing with her. "Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I do, Abby, really, and I'd do anything for them, but I hate feeling like I'm always a disappointment or something."
"Reece, you're not a disappointment," she said sincerely, her hand finding mine to squeeze it. "How could you be? You're in school, you're not some drug addict or alcoholic, and I might be a little bias but I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met."
"You're more than a little bias," I said with a hint of a grin. She smiled softly at me.
"It's true, though. There are people out there who are much more of a disappointment than you."
"Maybe before the last few days..." I muttered, my mind flashing back to everything I'd been trying to block out.
"I disagree... I think anyone would be proud of their son for standing up for someone he loves. For saving them," she said seriously. "And besides, you only have to tell them if you want to. If you want to forget about it forever, you can and never speak a word of it again."
"Hmm," I hummed, unable to decide what to say as I thought over her words. She made it sound so easy: never speak of it again and it's like it never happened. Could it really be that simple?
"It's just... I've already disappointed them so much growing up that I think if they found out about this... they'd never want to talk to me again."
"They're your family, Reece. They wouldn't do that," she said confidently. I sighed.
"I'll think about it," I said, sick of discussing it.
"I think they know about you, by the way," I added, glancing at her once again. She blinked in surprise before grinning softly.
"Oh, you think?" she teased. "You didn't tell them about me?"
"No," I admitted sheepishly. I didn't exactly talk to them on a regular basis, but it wasn't as though I'd hid her from them, either. We just didn't talk about that sort of thing on the rare occasion that we did talk. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd spoken to anyone beside my sister when I'd called to check up on my godchildren ages ago.
"Then how do you think they know about me?" she questioned lightly. I was glad she didn't appear the least bit upset by this news.
"Gemma asked why I was different the last time we talked and immediately asked if I had a 'lady friend,'" I said, raising a hand to make air quotes. "I don't even know what was different, though."
She smiled proudly at me and for once I found it difficult to follow her train of thought. "A lady friend. I think I like your sister."
"Yeah, well. She was damn convinced that I was seeing someone and guaranteed she told my parents. So, somehow, I'm pretty sure they know about you," I said flatly. Gemma's ability to read me even over the phone had haunted me for years, sometimes helping me and sometimes getting me in trouble when I was younger.
"And you didn't bother to confirm or deny?" she laughed, nudging me in the ribs.
"Well we weren't official yet, so..."
She swatted her hand in the air playfully. "Please. We've been unofficially official for a long time."
"Yeah, well, first time, remember?" I said, pointing to myself. "I was utterly clueless so give me a break."
She giggled softly before rolling her body on top of mine, resting her chest on my stomach to prop her chin up on my chest. Her lips collided with my skin once before lifting to grin at me.
"You've done surprisingly well, don't you worry," she reassured me. My hands drifted lazily down her back before retreating to retrace the path.
"Hmm, thank you."
She grinned at once more before speaking.
"Thank you for telling me that, babe."
"I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner. It just felt... pathetic," I admitted. "Whining about not being good enough, boo hoo."
"Oh stop," she said, swatting me lightly. "It's not pathetic. No family problems are ever pathetic."
"If you say so."
"Mmhmm. But really, thank you. It explains a bit about you," she said gently. "Like why you never would believe me when I say you're beyond good enough for me."
"I don't think I'll ever believe that," I said honestly. She sighed in exasperation before shooting me a grin.
"You're in denial, then. Believe it or not, it's true."
Her words were softened by a smile and another kiss to my skin. A sudden thought struck me.
"Do your parents know about me?" I knew she was an only child from way back to our first date when she'd told me so.
"Mmhmm," she hummed, nodding gently.
"What do they know?" I asked, suddenly nervous. Her eyes were focused on mine, a slight glow lingering there from our time together and the depth of the conversation.
"They know I'm in love with you."
My heart thumped once in my chest, surprised and pleased at the same time.
"Did you tell them that?" I asked.
"Yes," she admitted.
"When?"
"After that night when you got in a fight with Jack and had an asthma attack in the alley... I already knew I loved you but that just... I don't know, it just made me realize I'd never love anyone else. It's you or no one for the rest of my life."
"You told them that?" I asked, my voice somewhat quieter now in awe. Her statement made my heart glow with warmth. That was all I ever wanted- to be hers forever.
"Well I spared them the gory details but basically, yeah. You're it, for me. You're all I want. They needed to know."
She spoke so matter-of-factually about it, as if she couldn't even consider another path that didn't lead to us ending up together. She was voicing my every hope and dream, casually confirming what I'd only dared wish for. My hands settled on her shoulders to tug her forward so I could press my lips against hers. She lingered there for a few seconds, returning the pressure of the kiss before I pulled back.
"I'm all you want?" I asked quietly. She nodded, lips nudging mine as she did so.
"Mmhmm, that's it. Just you."
"You're all I'll ever want, Abby. Forever. I promise."
"I don't want to stay scared living in a daymare... burn off this mirage of my internal sabotage."
Chapter 77
I could feel the pieces of my world starting to fall back into place after being so violently and abruptly distorted. The sun shining on my face felt like a good omen, a sign of a bright future now that the darkness was behind us. I couldn’t help but smile in content as Reece and I walked through campus, his arm thrown casually around my shoulders as he walked me to class. It felt like something so normal, so mundane and simple after our past few days, but it felt good to be doing something so casual.
I had laughed when Reece had offered to walk me to class, taking his offer as a joke. I had been pleased when he’d been serious, wanting to spend as much time with me as possible. Today was the first day I’d been on campus in a long time where I felt like I could actually comprehend what was going on. While we’d been going through everything, my trips to class and campus had been a useless haze, a pointless waste of time that gave me a bit of a reprieve from my devastating pain. Now, however, the world around me seemed more vivid, more alive. The trees seemed greener, the sky bluer, and the sun warmer on my skin as I reveled in the contented bliss that had settled in my body. My hand reached up to grasp Reece’s that was slung casually over my shoulder, squeezing lightly as I leaned into him while we walked. He ducked his head down to put his lips at my ear.
“You look happy toda
y,” he whispered, his lips nudging against my ear as he spoke. It probably wasn’t necessary for him to whisper, but I loved the intimacy of his lips at my ear, his arm around my shoulder, and the contact with him as we walked. A few people glanced at us, taking in the way we were tangled together, but I made no notice of them. “I am happy,” I said truthfully. A wide grin spread across my face as he kissed my temple lightly. “Are you happy?”
I tilted my head to glance at him and catch his beaming smile as he looked down at me. He looked absolutely amazing with his green eyes crinkling in the corner and a dimple dipping into his cheek. His hair was pushed back under a black snapback, the strap set across his forehead as he wore it backwards. “Extremely,” he grinned.
“Good,” I replied, squeezing my arm around his waist. We were almost to the building my class was in, which was coincidentally next to the building Reece’s took place in. “This is my building.”We slowed to a stop and Reece tightened his arm around my shoulder to haul me into his chest for a brief hug. He kissed my forehead lightly before releasing me. “I have to meet with my professors later, but I’ll see you tonight?”
“What? Why?” I asked, surprised.
“I haven’t gone to class in like two weeks,” Reece said, shrugging. My eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Reece!” I scolded lightly. He grinned sheepishly at me.
“What? It would have been pointless,” he said simply. He had a point. Even though I’d gone to my classes, I had been completely mentally absent. I’d done just enough to get by without failing out of them.
“You’re not failing, are you?”
“No, I don’t think so,” he said casually. He seemed unconcerned.
“Okay,” I said, frowning slightly. “Just call me when you’re done, then.”
“Okay babe,” he said, ducking his head to kiss my lips lightly. “See you later.”
“Bye,” I said with a soft grin. His lips pulled to the side in a slight smirk before turning to walk away, his shoulders shifting back and forth as he moved. I took one last extensive look at his retreating form before turning to let myself into the building. A content smile settled on my face as I sat in the rows of seats, pleased that for once, things seemed to be going back to normal. **
A few hours later, my good mood had yet to wear off as I jumped off the bus at my apartment. It felt strange to go back after spending so much time away from it, like I was going back to someone else’s home. The door to my apartment was unlocked and I could hear the muted white noise of the TV from the hallway, telling me Emily was home. I pushed the door open and was greeted immediately by a scream, making me jump and clutch my hand over my chest in shock. My widened eyes searched until I saw Emily on the couch, her knees pulled up in front of her in instinct.
“What?!” I said, suddenly afraid bad had happened.
“You just scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed. I looked around behind me before looking back at her in confusion.
“What? How?” I asked, kicking my shoes off and moving to sit in the recliner in our living room. I couldn’t help but laugh at her wide eyes as she stared at me.
“I’m just not used to you being here and then I’m watching CSI and it was a really scary part right when you burst through the door like a crazy person!” she exclaimed dramatically. I laughed loudly, causing a smile to spread across her face.
“First of all, CSI isn’t scary. Second, I didn’t mean to scare you,” I laughed. She straightened her legs out as she recovered. “It is when you’re home alone,” she defended with a smile. I shook my head playfully.
“So hey,” I started. “I need to really thank you again for what you did. Coming to Reece’s hearing and giving a statement in his defense. And I’m sorry for not telling you what was going on, I just couldn’t even talk about it.”“You’re welcome,” she grinned. “And don’t worry. You’re forgiven. People do crazy things for those they love.”
I smiled and pushed myself off the chair to join her on the couch and haul her into a hug. She laughed as I squeezed her tightly, returning the hug enthusiastically. I released her and leaned back against the arm of the couch. “I do love him,” I admitted. Emily smiled softly at me. “I love him more than I can even say.”
“I know you do,” she said. “That’s why I had to do it.”
“You’re the best,” I said, grinning.
“Obviously,” she said with a playful eye roll. “So, can you tell me the whole story now that everything’s cleared up?”
“Yeah. It’s a long story...”
The next hour or so was spent filling Emily in on all the details of the sordid affair, filling in the blanks that she hadn’t been able to gather on her own. She was quiet as I spoke, but was a spectacular listener. She gasped in the right places, expressed a strong hatred for Jack, Samuel, and Liam, and practically started crying when I told her about how Reece had followed me through the club to beg me to come back to him before kissing me. I got emotional more than once, actually crying when I told her about the kiss Reece and I had shared. It felt surprisingly good to go over all the details even though it hurt at times, especially when I told her about how much it had hurt to leave Reece. I was glad to have a friend like Emily that I trusted enough with the entire story.
We had just finished the story when we were interrupted by my phone vibrating in my lap. Reece’s name flashed on the screen along with a photo of us that showed Reece’s lips planted along my jaw. I glanced at Emily apologetically before answering, smiling when she shook her head good-naturedly at me.
“Hi,” I said with a grin.
“Hiiiii,” he greeted. I could picture the wide grin he wore, his lips pulled tight over his teeth to show practically all of them. My heart seemed to warm at the image; it was my favorite smile on him because it showed the rare carefree side of him, making him appear lighter and blissfully unaware of the problems in his own life. “How’d your meetings go?” I asked, nerves creeping in.
“Fine,” he said vaguely.
“Fine?”
“Yeah, fine. I haven’t missed much and can make up most of what I did so everything should be alright,” he explained.
“That’s great news, babe,” I said, meaning it. I was relieved he wouldn’t face any academic repercussions after what he’d been through, especially how that he’d told me about the pressure he was under from his family. It probably had been weighing on him more than he’d let on, but now that things would be fine I didn’t want to stress him out even more by pointing that out.
“Yeah,” he said casually. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, hanging out with Emily,” I responded. I noticed her studying me as I spoke to Reece with a bemused expression on her face. “Can I come over?”
“You want to come over here?” I questioned. I had been expecting him to ask me to come to his house like we usually did.
“Yeah. Why, am I not allowed over there?” he teased. I giggled.
“No, you can come over,” I said, liking the idea of him in my apartment. Maybe it would make it feel more like home if he was here. Emily raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“See you soon,” I replied happily. “Bye!”
“Bye Abby,” he said before ending the call.
“He’s coming over here for once?” Emily asked immediately.
“Yeah,” I said, grinning. “Hope that’s alright.”
“Sure, sure,” she said shrugging lazily. “I’ll just sit here and remember how very single I am while you two continue to be adorable as shit.”I laughed and shoved her lightly, shaking my head. “We’re not adorable.”
She snorted a laugh almost immediately. “Right. ‘Reece, babe.’ ‘Abby.’ ‘I love you, baby.’ Yeah, you guys are freaking adorable now shut up.”I laughed again and didn’t argue. If she wanted to insist on Reece and I being adorable, I was just fine with that. I got up to head to the kitchen for
something to drink.
“Well what about Luke? You guys were hitting it off, weren’t you?” I prodded, switching the focus to her.
“We were, but I haven’t seen him for a while now. Not since... everything,” she said vaguely. A pang of guilt struck me, disappointed that my personal issues may have interfered with her own potential love life. “Well maybe we can fix that now that things are going back to normal,” I said optimistically. I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water before leaning against the counter to watch Emily. “Hmmm.”
“What?” I asked, amused at her avoidance of the topic. She was just like Luke when Reece or I questioned him about her.
“I don’t think Luke’s the type to settle down,” she said with a shrug.
“Neither was Reece,” I pointed out.
“Neither was I what?”
Reece had just pushed open the door to my apartment, sticking his head through the frame just as I spoke his name. He grinned at me before entering, shooting a quick hello to Emily before coming to join me in the kitchen. He kissed my waiting lips lightly before heaving himself up to sit on the counter next to me. “You weren’t the type to settle down,” I said. I noticed Emily blushing a bit as we skated dangerously close to the topic of her love life, which she probably didn’t want to discuss in front of Reece. “Ahh,” he said. “Who says I’m settled down?”
His hands landed on my hips and shifted my body so I was between his legs. His arms curled around my shoulders to pull my back against his chest as he hugged me from behind. Emily snorted again from the living room where she sat observing us closely.
“Please. Look at yourself right now and tell me you’re not pretty comfortably settled in with Abigail.”
I could feel his grin against my shoulder and leaned back into him more in contentment.
“You have me there,” he admitted. I set my glass down on the counter next to him and raised my hands to grip his forearms that were draped over my shoulders. “God, you guys are disgustingly cute,” Emily griped good-naturedly, waving her arms at us. “Please leave so I can sit here in my solitude.”Reece chuckled deeply behind me while I grinned at her, pleased to have her playful taunting back again. It felt so good to experience things like this again- Emily teasing me playfully while Reece held me to him.
