by Lisa Simmons
"Strange," he repeated with amusement, testing the word. "I suppose it is."
"Did you ever think this would happen?" I asked. I remembered how after the first night we'd slept together he told me he 'wasn't looking for anything.' It was almost funny to me now how incredibly wrong he had been.
"Did I ever think I would fall in love with you?" he asked.
"Yes," I said with a smile, liking the way the words sounded coming from his lips.
"No, I didn't," he answered honestly, grinning guiltily up at me. "But to be fair, I never thought I'd fall in love with anyone."
I nodded, accepting his point.
"You were so..." I paused, looking for the right word.
"Sexy," he offered with a wide grin. "Fantastic, handsome, mysterious. Take your pick."
"I was going to say closed off, you egomaniac," I laughed, swatting him lightly on the chest. "But I can't say those don't apply as well."
"Hmm, yes baby," he said with a satisfied grin. He lifted his head momentarily to press a light kiss into my lips before relaxing once more. I felt the muscles in his chest and stomach tighten as he did so beneath my body. "Closed off fits too."
"And just look at you now! You've got a proper girlfriend living in your house. You've come so far," I said happily, tapping him lightly over the chest. His hands continued to tickle down my back as he watched me in amusement.
"Yeah... there's all that, then there's the fact that I'm hopelessly and completely in love with you," he finished, his tone growing a bit more serious as his gaze held mine. I sucked in a quiet breath as the words made impact. It was something I would never get used to hearing him say, and my increased heartbeat reflected that. His words seemed to have stolen my ability to speak, because he continued.
"Abby, do you realize how in love with you I am? How much I've changed because of you? I can't imagine going a single day without you, much less not having you for the rest of my life," he said gently, peering intently into my eyes.
"You haven't changed, Reece," I told him, shaking my head slowly. He'd changed his habits, but he had been the same Reece the entire time.
"Yes I have," he said. "Before all I really cared about was myself but now I'm... better. I'm actually someone I want to be when I'm with you."
"I love exactly who you are now and I've loved you for a long time. You haven't changed, Reece. You've always been who you are, you just had to let people see it. Even that first night I met you, I knew there was more to you than you let on," I said honestly. "You don't realize what an amazing person you are. You're so selfless, Reece. You've done so much for me because you love me and I could never ask for anything better."
He studied me closely as I spoke, his brows pulled low in concentration as he listened to my words. It was difficult to put into words what he was. There was something so indefinable about him, something so charismatic and all-consuming that it seeped into every bit of my soul, but still I couldn't describe it. He was the light when things were dark, he was my savior when I needed him to be, and he was, without a doubt, my other half.
"I'm all of that because of you, Abby. I'm better because I have you," he said quietly. It seemed we were at a stalemate; Reece was convinced he was who he was because of me while I was convinced he'd been that person all along, he just hadn't let it out. We were both blinded by the love we felt for each other, making it impossible to come to an agreement on the subject.
"Seems we can't agree," I said, smiling gently at him.
"Because I'm right," he said slowly, his eyes glinting as he watched me. "You're the reason I know what this feels like- to wake up everyday with the one you love right there. You showed me it's okay to need someone and to let someone in. You showed me how you're not really living until the one you love actually loves you back."
I could feel my lips part as I listened to him, my breath increasing slightly at his beautiful words. My heart hammered in my chest, my emotions getting the better of me as I melted into a puddle. I was so in love with him that it hurt.
"I love you so much, Reece," I said, my voice no louder than a whisper. His green eyes blazed into mine as I felt his hands land on either side of my face. His thumbs trailed lightly over my cheeks and I could feel the way his heart matched mine as it drummed beneath his chest.
"The only reason I know what love feels like is because of you," he told me. "I'm in love with you now and I will be for the rest of my life. This, right here, is never going to end, do you understand?"
There was a palpable intensity to our conversation, an unbreakable promise forming as our emotions took over. He was telling me how much he meant it when he said he wanted to be with me forever.
"I don't have a choice- there's no way I could ever let you go again. I'll love you even when we're eighty years old. You can get old, bald and fat, I don't care. I'll love you until the day I die, Reece."
I felt a surprising prickling of tears at the back of my eyes as I realized this would, hopefully, be our life someday. I pictured him lying next to me, just like this, in sixty years. I imagined his beautiful dark hair turned to white wisps clinging to his head, wrinkles dipping into where his dimple resided now. I imagined having to shout things a bit louder as his hearing went out, and I imagined his gnarled, wrinkled hand holding onto my equally aged one. My heart felt so full it was sure to burst. Even then, I was positive I would love him just as much as I did now.
"You're the only one I ever have and ever will love, Abby, I promise," he said quietly, his eyes intense as he held me close. His hands pulled me gently forward until my lips connected with his in a kiss. As always, his fit perfectly between the gaps in mine, emotion leaking through the kiss as the tears that had started to build up spilled from between my closed eyes. I felt two hot streaks run down my cheeks as Reece kissed me before his thumbs wiped them gently away.
He pulled back and I took a shuddering breath, my body too overcome with love for him to function properly. It was like I was completely out of control, my every thought and action revolving around him. I was spinning hopelessly in reckless abandon yet completely grounded all at the same time. This love I felt for Reece wasn't something most people felt. Most people didn't know what it was like to love someone so completely, trust them so wholly, or to simply be with another person the way I was with him.
Together, we were the best versions of ourselves. He was selfless, loving, surprisingly sweet, and so addicting in every way possible while he made me feel stronger, alive, and fulfilled. That was what love was supposed to do- build you up and make you feel the best you ever had. Love was supposed to bring two people together to create something that wasn't possible alone. It allowed you to explore other sides you didn't know you had, try things you never thought you could, and be something with another person that so many others in the world missed out on. This love I had with Reece was so incredibly beautiful, and I could never imagine what I'd done to deserve such a thing with someone like him.
Someone like Reece, who was so difficult to describe justly with words. There was so much more to him than the world saw. He was an enigma of a man, made up of far more beautiful parts than the average human. He was kind, loving, gentle, selfless, and so completely better than the world gave him credit for. Beyond his devastatingly good looks was an actual person, and a beautiful person at that. He had thoughts and feelings and emotions just like everyone else, something that was often stripped of him because of how he looked. There was nothing in the world that could convince me otherwise of the fact that he was, without a doubt, the most incredible man I'd ever met.
He loved me in such a way that I never doubted it for a second. I could feel it in every look he gave me. His eyes would focus on me like I was the only person in the world who could possibly matter, gazing through me down to my very soul. I could feel it in the way he touched me. His gentle touches and kisses were always aimed to show love, affection, and desire when words weren't enough. The way his lips
would move against mine or the way his fingers would tangle though my own put a physicality behind his declarations, making me feel every ounce of love he had for me. He loved me more than anyone ever had, and I was certain I would never be worthy of someone like him. I would never be as amazing as I was in his eyes, but he made me feel like I was. He loved me more than anything in the world, and I loved him for it even more.
It was so strange to be so absolutely certain that I was with the one I was meant to love, but I was. There was no doubt in my mind that Reece and I were meant to be, as if the laws of the universe insisted on it being so. My love for him was like a never ending chasm that split my life wide open, swallowing me whole and taking over my mind, body, and soul completely. I felt it in every cell of my body, every breath that entered my lungs, every beat of my heart. Reece was so entwined in my life that he was a part of me now; he breathed, I breathed. What he felt, I felt. There was no going back from a love like this; it was forever, sure to endure whatever obstacles would be thrown in the way.
We'd already faced so many obstacles together and prevailed. If we could get through all we'd gotten through already, the rest of our lives together would be easy. My mind flashed to the things we'd overcome. Back in the beginning of our relationship, our biggest problem had been Reece's reversion to his old ways, prompted by me and my fear of committing to him. What seemed like such an easily overcome issue now had been absolutely devastating then. I remembered the burning ache I'd felt when I thought things were over for the first time. He'd hit on Lauren to spite me for hiding him from my friends, and I had never felt more pain, up until that moment, at least.
Even then, before I even admitted to myself that I loved him, I knew things were different with us. I knew he would have the power to crush me or make me feel how I did today, and that was only in the beginning. We'd gotten through it, finally, after he'd come to my house and begged to see me. I remembered stumbling down my hall after him, barefoot and broken, before finally catching him. That was the first time I really realized just how much he cared for me, how much he needed me, and it was heartbreakingly sad and beautiful all at the same time because it was exactly how I felt.
I remembered the issues with Samuel and the first time I met him. I remembered how he'd been incredibly rude, a mere hint of what was to come, before Reece had ended years of friendship by hitting him for me. He'd done it without a second thought, the depth of his feelings for me making him act without hesitation.
I remembered the first time he told me he loved me. It hadn't been when I thought it would be, and I remembered the acrid smell of the burning pancakes that had foiled his first attempt to say it. I remembered feeling off for days after that, wondering what would have happened if he'd have continued. The overwhelming bliss I felt after he finally said it still remained now, the words that sounded so new then feeling so utterly right now. I still felt like it was the first time each time he told me, yet it felt like it was exactly what he was supposed to say as though decades had gone by of being together.
I remembered one massive fight in particular after I told him the truth about Jack and Samuel. The gut-wrenching pain I'd felt then served as constant of the mistakes I'd made. The tears that had fallen after finally pulling myself away from his cold exterior would never be forgotten, but thankfully they'd been eased away by Reece finally coming to me in the kitchen. His words and actions had been gentle and loving as he forgave me, leading up to the next memory that flooded through my mind.
I remembered the first time he truly made love to me and the way his body had connected with mine. Something so beautifully indescribable had happened that night, and he'd shown me a side I hadn't seen yet. He'd let down all of his walls to show me the truly vulnerable side of him. His touches and kisses had been so gentle, so filled with love, that I couldn't doubt for a second about how he felt for me.
I remembered the first fight Reece had gotten into with Jack in the back hallway of the bar, and I remembered watching frozen in fear as the man I loved took and delivered blows to the man I hated. Even more terrifyingly, I remembered the way his chest had shook beneath my palms as I struggled to ease him down from an asthma attack after the fight. My thoughts had been dark, revolving around what would happen if I wasn't able to fix him, something that had nearly suffocated me. Much to my relief, however, he had recovered, ending the terror I'd felt.
All of that had led to me cleaning Reece up in his kitchen. I saw the blood washing down the drain as I cleared it from his knuckles and felt the way his gaze had lingered on my face as he watched me. That moment had been loaded with such vulnerability from him that I would never forget it. He'd been so open, his harsh exterior cracked to show the soft side beneath, and I loved him for it.
I remembered, with horror, the overwhelming threats from Jack and Samuel, bound together by separate issues and a common goal- ruining Reece. I had felt so trapped, with no way out other than to do what absolutely shattered me to do: break up with Reece. My heart hammered painfully in my chest even now at the memory of what I'd done to him. I'd been cruel, disgustingly cruel, in what I'd done. I'd picked at his every weakness and doubt, lying through my teeth as I easily convinced him that they were true. It had been the only way- any other attempt to break up with him would have been seen through easily, but not that. He'd already had so many doubts about himself that he believed me in a heartbeat, accepting my words without question. It broke my heart all over again thinking about how devastated he'd been, how visibly in pain he was, and the overwhelming obvious way I'd shattered both of our hearts in the process.
I hated myself to this day for doing that to him.
I remembered the darkest time of my life when I'd been without my light, Reece. It was like the world had been drained of any color, any warmth. I'd been numb, cold, practically dead inside without him. If I knew what hell felt like, it was life without Reece. Painful flashes I couldn't even fully process flitted through my mind- Jack, Samuel, a mysteriously unidentified drug, an ache in my heart so painful I was certain it would stop working, and then that fateful night when I saw Reece in the very same bar he'd fought Jack. That night, he'd found me in the hallway before breaking down in front of me, his emotions so clear and devastatingly real that I couldn't deny him his one request: to come back to him.
I remembered the chaos that had followed as he crept into Jack's house in the dark of the night to save me. The utter and complete horror I'd felt that night when we'd been faced with Jack holding a gun was something I would never forget, nor was the fight between the man I loved so wholly and my tormentor. Those few cripplingly terrifying seconds after the gun had gone off and I hadn't known who had been hit had been the most terrifying of my entire life, and I was thankful every second of every day that it was Reece that had been the one who made it out alive. I pictured Samuel arriving only for the cops to arrive moments later and take them both away, shattering my heart in the process.
I remembered pacing the police station and demanding Reece be released, the minutes ticking by like weeks. Finally, he'd been released to me, though he wasn't the same. He'd been hollow, cold, unfeeling, and it had killed me to see him that way. Images of him breaking down completely as sobs racked through his body flashed through my mind, nearly making me cry all over again. He'd been so devastated, so agonized by what he'd done, that it had nearly ruined him completely.
Slowly, he'd come back to me. He'd healed from what had happened and come to accept it, and he'd come back to me. His face regained the light it once held, and the man I was so desperately in love with started to wake up again. It was after his trial, when he was announced not guilty, that he finally seemed to go back to his normal self. The smothering weight he'd been feeling had finally been lifted, leaving him to be free and live life the way he was meant to.
I remembered, blissfully, meeting his family. His mother, sister, stepfather, his horrible real father, and his godchildren's faces all flashed through my mind a
s I thought of our trip to his home. I easily saw why he avoided speaking about his real father, a cold and selfish man who was too ignorant to see the incredible son he had. The rest of his family had been absolutely incredible, and seeing him with his godchildren had shown me yet another side to him I hadn't known existed until that exact moment. I'd only fallen even more in love with him on that trip, which I hadn't imagined possible.
Finally, I remembered how he'd drunkenly asked me to move in with him, setting us up for where we found ourselves now. He'd asked me after a night of much amusement and drinking, but I knew he meant it. I remembered him meeting my parents the day they'd barged in on us, and how they'd fallen just as in love with him as I am. Where I lay now, in our bed in his arms, was the sum of all that had happened to us, all that we'd endured to reach this point.
Looking back on it now, it seemed almost impossible that we would have made it here, but we had. After all we'd been through, I was more in love with him than ever, more certain he was mine and mine alone for the rest of my life. The love I felt for him was so overwhelming and captivating that it had changed my entire life. My world was different because of Reece, my Reece, who had chosen to give his love to me. I would never understand why he had chosen me, but it was something I was wiling to accept in blissful confusion for the rest of my life if it meant having him.
It was as if my body acted of it's own accord as I leaned forward once again to press my lips into Reece's. Too many thoughts and emotions were flowing through me to even form a coherent thought anymore, but I felt it. I felt the way we loved each other with such an all-consuming passion, and I felt the inevitability of that. This world was a big place, filled with people and places I would never meet or see, but none of that mattered. The only person I was meant to be with was here, lying beneath me and holding me to his chest, in the only place I ever wanted to be: wherever he was.
