Dionne
I knew I was about to get married. I had my dress; we picked our location. Even paid for it. But all that couldn’t keep me from wanting to be with Kevin. Terrance was out of town, and I thought this might be the last time I could see him for a while. I took off Monday and Tuesday to fly to see Kevin. It was kind of insane to do a full day of traveling to be with Kevin for only three days. But I missed my other baby. I had my plan ready. I was going to tell Terrance I was going with Camille to an art show in New York. I just had to make sure Camille didn’t call him or me for something stupid.
“Camille, do not call me until I call you. Do you understand?” I said. I had to explain things to her, because I knew she would forget and call me and leave messages on the answering machine, and Terrance would find out everything.
“Yes, I understand. How long are you going to continue to do this?” she asked.
“As long as I can get away with it.”
I was used to the long flight to Rome. Every trip, I just took a nap. I loved it there. If I could, I would live there. I spoke a little Italian, and the people were always so friendly. The city was so different and moved at a different pace. The people weren’t rushing around. They took time out to enjoy life and family.
I took a taxi to Kevin’s place. I had a key and walked in to surprise him, but was greeted with a note. It said he had to run errands and go to practice, and that he would be back later. I was so happy to be in Kevin’s space and spend time with him for a few days.
Kevin’s place was modern and comfy. He had a picture of us on his black end table. That made me smile. I love Kevin so much, I thought. I wished I could pick him up and take him to the States.
I took off my shoes and lay across the bed. I was tired from all that flying. I heard Kevin come in and couldn’t contain my excitement.
“Kevin,” I said as I leaped into his long arms.
“So you still about to get married to that clown you call your boyfriend?” he said, eyeing my hand.
“Don’t talk about him, Kevin. How was practice?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Practice was practice.”
“So you happy to see me?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he said, shrugging his shoulders on his lanky body.
“You know you happy to see me,” I said as I stood on the tips of my toes and brought his face down to kiss me.
At first he didn’t kiss me back, but the swirl of my tongue against his made him relax. I pushed him to the sofa and straddled him. Kevin didn’t want to love me, but he didn’t have a choice. The warmth between my legs met the warmth between his. We kissed passionately, and our bodies ground up and down on each other. Within minutes my legs were wide open, and I was sprawled across his sofa. He lunged his body into my body rapidly until we both collapsed in each other’s arms and prepared for round two. Every time I was with Kevin, I wished and prayed that things were different and we were together. But they weren’t, so I just had to make good of the time we spent together.
I was waiting for Kevin to finish getting dressed. We were about to go to our favorite restaurant, Zampano. It was a cozy, traditional restaurant. They had over a thousand wines to choose from, and their clam ravioli was delicious. This older man, named Ettore, yelled out, “America,” and bent down and gave my hands a kiss every time we went. While he was showering, I checked my messages and made my mandatory call to Terrance. He was on my voice mail two times. I called him back without listening to the messages.
“Terrance, hey, babe. How is your trip going?”
“Yeah, we finished up early. Will you be able to pick me up? You’re done at the art show right? I looked online. It ended today.”
“Yeah, it did end today,” I said nervously.
“My flight is arriving at nine tomorrow.”
“Okay, I’ll see you there. If anything changes I will call you.” I hung up the phone.
I couldn’t believe Terrance was coming back early. I had to cut my trip short and get home before Terrance did. The flight home was going to take ten hours. I had to call to see when the next flight left; then I had to make up a reason to tell Kevin. I turned around and saw Kevin brushing his teeth in the doorway of the bathroom.
“So you’re about to leave?”
“I have to. If he gets home and I’m not there…You understand, right?”
Kevin didn’t say anything. I knew saying nothing was saying a lot for him. Kevin was tired of me, and I was tired of lying and cheating. It was only a matter of time before I got caught.
Chapter 33
Tanisha
I called Kevin and left him a message during my lunch. Hopefully he’d call me and tell me the next time he’d be in my city.
On my way home I saw an unfamiliar number appear on my cell phone. It had to be Kevin. I fumbled with my phone and picked it up after three rings.
“Hey,” I said cheerfully.
“It’s Kevin from the game.”
I was about to say something, but before I could ask him how he was doing or what was up, Kierra began screaming loudly in the background. I put him on mute and told her to keep it down.
That meant “scream louder and act crazier” in her mind, because as soon as I took the call off mute, she yelled, “Mommy.”
And all I heard him say was, “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
I didn’t want to say yes, but Kierra wasn’t letting this conversation happen. She wanted all my attention.
“Kind of. Can I call you back?” I asked.
“Okay, dial me at this number,” he said as he gave me this long international number.
“All right. I’ll do that in a little bit.” I didn’t want to sound broke, but I knew an international call would be expensive. I was still paying down my cell phone bill. He heard the hesitancy in my voice and then told me he would give me a few hours and call me back.
I came in and did Kierra’s homework with her. Then we a watched a little television, and I made her get ready for bed. I was going to allow her to watch television until nine. I searched for what I was going to wear for the next day and did the dishes. Jamil was in his room playing Halo.
I spoke to him, and he said, “Hey, Mom,” without taking his eyes off the screen.
“Did you do your homework?” I asked.
He turned to me and said, “Yeah,” as he put his game on pause. “Yeah, it is right there.”
He played that game all day and night, but he did well in school and it was better than him getting in trouble somewhere. Alexis was still at work. I was so happy she got a job at McDonald’s. I wanted to put that work ethic in her. I wished I had done it earlier. She saw how she worked a bunch of hours and didn’t get any money. She was so upset but learning. But with the little money she had, she’d been buying her own clothes and shoes.
Like he promised, Kevin called me back.
“So you put your daughter to sleep?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s five.”
“So it is just you and her?”
I didn’t feel like I could tell him the truth. “Umm-hmm. Yeah, I just got divorced. So, where do you live?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I live in Rome. You know, Italy.”
“Italy, what do you do there?” I asked.
“I play basketball for an Italian team called the Lottomatica Roma. How about you? What do you do?”
“Oh, me? Umm, I work at a hospital.”
“What do you do?”
“I’m a nurse at Alton University Hospital.”
“A nurse, that’s nice. Must be an interesting job. How old are you, like twenty-five?”
“No, I’m older than that.”
“I’m twenty-seven, so you can’t be older than me.”
“I’m twenty-nine. So, how long have you been in Rome?”
“I have been over here for about three years. I was born in Richmond. I went to Georgetown, and aft
er I didn’t get drafted into the NBA I came here.”
“So how do you like living in another country?”
“To be honest, I love my team, but it is real lonely.”
“Lonely,” I giggled.
“Yeah, lonely,” he said as he coughed and took his mouth away from the phone.
“You don’t have friends there? I’m sure there are some beautiful women in Italy. Like models.”
“I had a girlfriend who was a model in London, but she just was a little young and immature. She was only twenty-one.”
A model, I thought. Twenty-one. Wow. I thought I was being smart by saying “a model.”
“I’ve adjusted. It is clean, it is quiet. After a game or practice, I have dinner with a few of my teammates, but for the most part, I read and stay on the Internet.”
“So you don’t do anything else? That’s kind of hard to believe.”
“Honestly, I get my mother and sister to send me DVDs and magazines. They don’t have any American television here. We have British cable called Sky Broadcasting. It shows a lot of American television from last year, like Dr. Phil and America’s Next Top Model.”
Just as I was about to respond to Kevin, Kierra came busting into my bedroom. “Mommy, Mommy,” Kierra kept yelling. “Mommy, can I have some snacks?”
I put the phone on mute. “Tell Jamil to get it for you.”
“He said no.”
“Jamil, get her some Cheez-Its.” I closed and locked my door.
I came back to the telephone and unmuted my phone.
“So, what were we talking about?” I asked.
“I don’t remember. Can you hold on for a minute?” he said.
When he came back to the phone, we talked a little more. He got me tricked up a couple of times stumbling with my answers. But I kept thinking on my feet. He had this deep, rich voice. Every word he spoke reminded me of how cute he was.
By the end of our conversation I’d forgotten about how many things I lied about. I lied about my age, how many kids I had, even that I was a nurse. I didn’t know why I lied, I just did.
Chapter 34
Adrienne
Mark rarely called me, and he didn’t have a girlfriend, so he didn’t have any excuses. That shit was so annoying. I could tell Mark liked me, but he was holding back. I met up with him a couple of times and he was just so standoffish; it drove me crazy. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I really liked him, and it was not just about the money. I was just feeling him. I not only wanted to have his baby, I wanted to be a part of his life. Right now I just wanted to hear his voice.
Once again, he was MIA. We had been playing this little game of fade-in, fade-out. I was becoming a little tired of always calling him first. I wanted him to ring my phone so I could be with him right now.
Call me, Mark, I thought. I wish I could send him a telepathic message. He would get the message and dial my number. I hated this feeling of caring. I hadn’t been like this in a long-ass time. I liked it better when I wasn’t feeling anyone. It was better that way. There was so much peace with being alone. There were no questions to ask like, “What you doing? Where you at?”
I didn’t know what I should do about Mark. I couldn’t take him calling me when he wanted to. I had to take my mind off all this with a massage and pedicure. And possibly, by the time I returned, he would call me.
Mark must have received the transmission, because he called me and told me to meet him in Chicago, and I was on it. I couldn’t wait to see him. I met him at the Palmer House Hotel, this historic, classy hotel in downtown Chicago on Monroe Street. There was a key waiting for me at the desk.
He was in the shower. Yes. I didn’t make a lot of noise. I tiptoed through the room and found his condoms. I pulled my safety pin out of my bag and stabbed inconspicuous holes all through them. Then I hurried and took off all my clothes. I walked into the bathroom. I opened up the curtain. He jumped, and I laughed and gave him a big kiss; then I unclothed myself. I stepped into the shower. I attacked him with my tongue and hands. Warm water spilled down my back. Mark’s hands glided up my thighs and legs. I kissed him furiously with my tongue. I let my mouth sweep up against his abdomen and pelvis. He seemed so excited to see me. My mind was churning. I placed my body up against his and let our warm bodies glide against each other. The warm water splattered all over us, making my hair go from curly to straight and wet. I pressed my butt to his erectness and finally saw my opportunity to take him raw. As Mark grabbed my breasts and bit my neck, I slid his body into mine. He didn’t stop me, and I pumped as hard as I could. I held my pussy walls together as I tried to choke his dick. I was still shocked he let me do it. I pounded against him in ecstasy until the shower water turned cold.
Last night was great. We hung out and had fun. This morning, all I could hear was shower water running and Mark getting ready to leave me again.
“Where you going?” I asked.
“I have to go,” he said as he dressed.
“You leaving me? How am I going to get to the airport?”
“Your ticket is open, just catch a cab to the airport.” He was about to leave me at this hotel by myself, and it didn’t feel good. I was trying to keep up with him. I couldn’t let him leave me there—not like this. As he put his pants on, I snapped my bra and twisted it around my body.
“Why are you rushing? You don’t have to leave yet,” he said as he zipped his pants and sat on his bed to put on his socks and shoes.
“Don’t you have to check out?” I asked as I slipped on my panties.
“Yeah, but you can stay until noon.”
“No, that’s okay. I need to get home.” I had to get out of there before he left me. I put my jeans on and threw my blouse over my head, and then brushed my teeth and washed my face. I heard the hotel room door shut. I knew he wouldn’t walk out without saying good-bye. But he did. I heard the dinging of the elevator door down the hall. He didn’t even say good-bye, I thought. Instead of pretending like I had somewhere to go, I went and got back into bed. Then I noticed two thousand dollars on the nightstand. What the fuck was I supposed to do with this? Mark was so fucking disrespectful. I was so mad at him. Why was he leaving money on the nightstand like I was his whore? I knew I was more than that to him. I got my phone out of my purse and called him.
“Mark.”
“Did I leave something?” he asked.
“No, I just needed to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“I feel like you treating me like I’m just a piece of ass. And I don’t feel that way about you. So if that’s all we going to be, then I want out of this situation.”
He was quiet.
“Hello, did you hear that?” I said.
“Yeah, I heard you.”
“So say something!”
“I don’t have anything to say, Adrienne. It is not like that, but if that’s the way you feel, that’s the way you feel.”
“Well, I think that if you feeling somebody, you wouldn’t leave them alone in a hotel room, in a city they don’t know. Right?” There was silence again.
“Right?” I shouted into the phone, but I didn’t get a response. I then took the phone away from my ear and all I saw was the time and date. Mark had hung up on me without saying good-bye.
Chapter 35
Tanisha
When I told Adrienne what Kevin did over in Europe, she was so proud like I was her star student. She said something dumb like I was spotting money even when I wasn’t trying.
“You talk to your International Six-Footer?” she asked.
“Yeah, but I lied to him.”
“About what?”
“About everything, girl. I told him I was a nurse, I only had one child, and I was twenty-nine.”
“Oh no. Why did you do that?”
“I couldn’t help it. Because he kept saying I didn’t look like I had a daughter who was four. And he couldn’t believe I was twenty-nine.”
“You are thirty-t
wo.”
“I know.”
“So, how was his conversation?” Adrienne asked.
“It was good. He is nice. What’s going on with Mark?”
“He is okay. I like him, but he doesn’t really try to put no time in with me. But that’s okay. I’m about to give up on him. He calls me when he wants to, and I don’t like that. I just want to get pregnant, and he is making it so hard.”
I told her I had to go. I heard Alexis screaming my name. I told these children a million times to please stop screaming my name.
“Yes? Stop yelling, Alexis. What is it?” I asked as I came down the steps.
“Mom, I need your tax return from last year. I have to fill out these college and financial aid package forms,” Alexis yelled.
My conversations with Kevin were always so long and deep. I hadn’t talked on the phone like this ever. We talked about anything and everything. Like he was talking to me about old-school rap songs that we liked. I almost gave my age away by telling him I was a big fan of NWA. Kevin was so smart, and I told him that all the time; he knew about the politics in other countries, and he had been so many places. We were talking about current events like the war in Iraq and then flipped it back to why he didn’t like reality television. We discussed how his mother raised him and his sister on her own, and I shared that I left home at seventeen. But even though we shared so much, I still didn’t have the heart to tell him about Alexis and Jamil and not really being a nurse. It felt so good to talk to someone. With Kevin, the money was just a bonus. The next day I went online and looked up his team. I read his bio and then clicked out of his information. I didn’t want to slip up and reveal information that I already knew about him. I wanted to wait for him to tell me, because I really liked him for him.
I sent Kevin a care package of his favorite candies: Twizzlers, Peanut Chews, and Laffy Taffy. I also sent him DVDs and a few magazines. He called me a few days later so excited. You would have thought I mailed him money. He was saying how sweet and considerate I was. He said he never had anybody doing anything like that for him. It was no big deal to send him the basket. A few days later, he began sending me all types of gifts. The first gift was a green Prada bag. The next day, he sent me six arrangements of flowers. After that, it was something different almost every day.
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