by Jordan Bell
“Take it off,” he commanded. “I want to see your body.”
There it was. I jerked back from his hands and closed my palm across my stomach so he couldn’t lift my shirt if he didn’t like my answer. “No. I don’t do that, I mean, with anyone.”
Jonah looked annoyed, seized my arms, yanked me back to him. “Don’t be like some embarrassed girl. Your body is a pleasure to look at and I want to see more of it.”
“It’s not like that. I just, don’t. Please, ask me for anything else. Just not that.”
The annoyance disappeared as fast as it had come to a new, intense gaze that started at my belly and traced its way up to my eyes, my mouth. He reached for my face again, touched my lips with the thumb I’d licked.
“Anything?”
Anything, anything else, I thought. I was surprised by how ready I was to beg. Is this what I wanted, to give myself over to my best friend’s troubled, distant brother? Yes, I decided. Tonight that’s what I wanted.
“If I tell you to take my cock out and suck it until I come, you’ll do as I say?”
His language made something in my belly twist, made me wet, and tremble just enough for him to notice. This must have been yes enough because he wrapped his hand around the back of my head, buried his fingers in my hair, and pulled my face close to his. His lips were inches from mine, his eyes so intensely burning through mine.
“Do it,” he commanded. “Take it out.”
My hands shook a little as I reached between us, stroked my palms down his thighs to discover how very hard he was already, pushing against the fabric and ready when I worked at his belt. He strained closer to my hands, a little feral hiss escaping his lips.
“Don’t make me wait,” he pressed, which only made my fingers stumble more. As soon as his belt was open, I unzipped him slowly, because of my own nervousness and also because I knew it would increase his impatience. I was rewarded with another hiss.
I wanted him to kiss me. I touched my forehead to his, pushed his pants back, pulled his boxers down so I could access all of him. I couldn’t see what I was doing, how big he was, but I was thrilled when I wrapped my fingers around the hard, engorged length of him. Longer than my palm, hot to the touch, as thick as my wrist. He closed his eyes briefly, enjoying some private pleasure. With his eyes closed I leaned into his mouth until mine just brushed his lips.
His eyes flew open and he jerked his head back enough that I couldn’t continue the kiss. The secret pleasure was replaced by uncontained lust and that distance, dark and brooding.
“We won’t be doing that,” he admonished and tightened his grip on the back of my head. “Down.”
A mewl escaped my throat. His words soaked my panties and I knew I’d do anything to ease the wall he built between him and the world. I’d do anything to prove he could kiss me, to make him want to kiss me.
I shifted back a few inches, squeezed my thighs together and lowered my head between his legs. His hand pushed me down, but I’d have gone anyway. I gave his shaft a squeeze, stroked the skin up to the head and back down. He said nothing, but his breath quickened in time with my racing heart.
He wouldn’t like me kissing it, I had the feeling that level of intimacy was off the table. He wanted me to suck it, a strange girl on her knees for him, and so I did what I thought he’d want most. I took the head into my mouth, closed my lips around it and sucked teasingly once, then twice. His fingers tightened into fists in my hair and I could feel him forcing himself to relax, to not give too much power over to my mouth.
“Suck it, little girl,” he murmured. “Prove yourself to me.”
His words encouraged me. I licked the tip, rubbed the flat of my tongue across it and traced a circle around the rough ridge. I licked softly, pulled it out of my mouth wetly and moved my hand out of the way so I could lick from his balls back up to the head.
I pushed it back into my mouth and began the deliberately slow motion of taking him deeper.
It slid across my tongue, bumped the roof of my mouth. When I went as far as I thought I could go, I stopped and sucked, closing my mouth tight around it. He moaned, so soft I was sure he didn’t want me to hear. He pulled at my hair, strawberry blond curls hiding his view of me, pulled them up and out of the way. His breath caught and I started to slide back up. I squeezed my thighs, desperately wanting to touch myself, to relieve the pressure between my own legs. He had no idea how turned on I was by this game of who could make the other beg first.
I won when he let out a growl and pushed my head down and thrust his hips up to meet my lips. I instinctively wanted to fight back when he pushed past my limits, but I didn’t. I let him push me all the way down until he was hitting the back of my throat and I knew he was mine in that moment.
Between clenched teeth he commanded me. “More. More.”
I gave him more.
He released his hold on my head and gave me control over his pleasure. I quickened my pace, sliding him in and out along my tongue, licking at the drops of pre-cum, letting him see my desire to please him. His hands were encouraging, pushing when he wanted to go deeper into my mouth, moaning when I licked up his shaft and around the head with the tip of my tongue in a way that I quickly discovered made him mad with lust. The second time I did this in a row he collapsed back into the sand, leaving only one hand on the back of my head, the other he grabbed at the sand with his fist, his breath hot and short, punctuated with moans I loved to hear.
He was stubborn though, and held out until my jaw began to ache. I wanted to make him cum, to take a moment of control from him. He must have sensed this and tried to hold back as long as possible, but when I took the shaft in my hand and started bobbing my head up and down on the head faster, squeezing the head between my lips and just barely grazing my teeth when I went down further and further until I gagged, he was done for. His hips thrust to meet my mouth, buried both hands in my hair and pushed my head down, all the way down, with his last desperate attempt to control me. He cried out as his cock jerked against my tongue and waves of cum spurted down my throat. I rushed to swallow as fast as possible. It was hot, salty, and endless, like the ocean.
When his hips fell back to the sand he released his hold on my hair and I licked him clean as I slid him out of my mouth. His hands softened and his fingertips stroked my hair almost affectionately before he remembered himself and let me go.
He lay there spent, gazing at the stars as he worked to control his breathing.
I licked my lips of the last of him. My skin vibrated with the want to touch him again, but I didn’t dare, not in this vulnerable moment. I wanted him to touch me now; I was soaked through and desperate to have his hands on me. He had no idea how willing I was to let him have what he wanted at that moment. I felt powerful, forcing this vulnerable moment out of him where his pleasure was my doing, but I also needed him to know how badly I wanted his hands between my legs.
He put himself away, wiped sweat from his forehead, and sat up. He didn’t force his intense stare on me, not right away, but when he did, I was leveled. The lust, the desire, was gone. Like a light switch. I knew he wasn’t going to touch me, to please me, but I hoped I was wrong. He looked, for a moment, like he was going to touch my face, but instead he picked up his bottle and glass and climbed to his feet.
“Go back to your cabin,” he said. That was it. That was all he had to say to me, before leaving me there alone.
Four
By breakfast I’d convinced myself it had never happened. It was like a dream anyway, an indecent encounter with my best friend’s older brother on a beach beneath a nearly full moon? Too incredible to be believed. I was fully prepared to put it behind us until I saw him come onto the deck where breakfast was soon to be served. Shannon and I were helping Meredith, one of the housekeepers, set out the silverware at each plate, when his body filled the doorway and his eyes immediately found mine.
No, not a dream, then.
“You girls don’t need to help me,”
Meredith chided good naturedly, but we reached in to the bucket for more wrapped silverware. The linen napkins were soft and very delicately embroidered at the corner of each. I wondered how anyone could wipe their mouth with such pretty things.
“After two years of eating from of take-out containers or served from a line where women in hairnets plopped our gruel, it’s a pleasure to actually set a real honest-to-god table with real honest-to-god silverware. Do you know what Jess and I have in our kitchenette? A box of plastic spoons because otherwise you have to do dishes in the girl’s bathroom and there’s something really undignified about that.”
Melissa looked up from her computer tablet. “There’s something really undignified about plastic spoons.”
“Don’t be a snob, Mel,” Shannon said. I was still aware of Jonah’s eyes on my every little move. Straightening a water glass so it lined up with the others felt like an incredibly intimate, private thing under his gaze.
I wondered if he was thinking about me. About my mouth. The memory made me squeeze my thighs involuntarily. I’d never gone to bed so unsatisfied and turned on as I had last night, but Shannon’s proximity made it too embarrassing to touch myself. Being turned on by his mere presence made me more angry at myself than him. What kind of man leaves a girl lonely and wanting like that?
Melissa pushed her designer white sunglasses back up her nose and returned to the book she was reading. A tawdry romance from what I gathered glancing over her shoulder. She was dressed impeccably in white shorts and a white shell tank-top.
Shannon had on a light, flowery sundress over her bikini. Jonah was dressed way down from the day before in running pants, a t-shirt, and running shoes. His shirt was sweat stained and his face red and damp.
When he approached the table, Shannon made an exaggeration of his smell. “No! If mom sees you she’ll have a cow, Jonah. A whole cow. Go shower and change. Please.”
He frowned, glanced down at himself like he didn’t realize running caused even rich people to sweat. “Fine.”
“I’ll hold off the breakfast, Mr. Silver,” Meredith said while wrestling the last silverware from Shannon’s hands. She picked up her bucket and headed for the doors. Without thinking about it, I grabbed the other tub she’d carried the water glasses out in and followed her. Eric appeared at the door and held it open for us.
“Putting you to work already, huh?” he joked and Meredith turned to see me helping and scoffed.
“Put that down. I’ll get it.”
“It’s no problem, really. I wanted to find the bathroom and figured I was going your way anyway.” I felt him behind me before I saw him. The heat from his sweaty body was unmistakable. I almost stumbled over my own words.
“If she wants to earn her way here, let her,” he said in that voice he’d whispered proved yourself to me last night. My heart shot into my throat. He remembered everything too, despite the alcohol.
Meredith snorted. “I suppose you’ll let her cook breakfast too, refill your water goblets?”
“If she likes, who am I to stop her?” There was almost, almost something playful about his tone, but if anyone else noticed, they didn’t let on. Meredith made a derisive noise again and stepped into the house. I didn’t turn around to let him see the blush creeping up my throat into my cheeks. He followed us inside and Eric went to join his sisters.
“There,” Meredith pointed to a place for me to put the tub. She was too busy to argue anymore with us so I headed out of the kitchen in search of one of the many bathrooms I know I’d seen yesterday. I did not expect Jonah to shadow me.
When I reached for a door knob to the bathroom in the hallway, he put his hand on the door to stop me. He stood close, too close, and my breathing betrayed me.
“Look,” he said and I couldn’t help but notice his eyes linger on my slightly parted lips. “You can’t tell my sister about last night. She would be very upset that I took advantage of you.”
“Advantage of…” My jaw dropped and I was all at once angrier than I should be. “Were we on the same beach last night? I am quite sure there was no advantage taking on my side of things.”
“Be quiet!” He eyes flashed, anger making him bristle. “Could you be less discreet?”
This hurt, and I looked down at the floor between us. Of course, I was sure he lived in a world where he expected complete discretion and my part in all of this was a minor one. It was about his reputation and I was sure his father would have less than kind things to say about his behavior with me last night. I shrugged.
“My lips are sealed. You have nothing to worry about from me.”
It’s what he wanted to hear, so I gave it to him. Funny, it was more exciting to give him what he wanted when I thought he might give me something in return. This felt like something else and I was ready for him to move on and forget it had happened, too. I moved so that he had to take a step back from my space.
He hesitated, but I didn’t look at him. After a moment of consideration he leaned in, touched the small of my back with his palm. His touch sent a jolt through me. I tried to pull away, but not for the same reason I usually do, but he kept himself close. He leaned his mouth close to my ear, whispered so that I could feel his breath on my skin. My heart quickened, my body responded the way he wanted it to.
“It’s only a closet.”
“What?” I jerked back from him but he’d already turned away and was heading for the stairs. I turned the door knob and sure enough, it was only a closet.
***
Breakfast consisted of a poached egg and some kind of sweet sauce over a bed of fluffy shaved potatoes, kind of like hash browns but smoother, less crunchy, paired with fruit and yogurt with little bits of granola on top. I paid close attention to my food, keeping my eyes from traveling to Jonah’s who inconveniently was stuck sitting across from me again because he was the last one to show up. On the breeze I could smell his shampoo and damp hair. He’d changed into jeans and a t-shirt, tighter than the one he’d run it, and I hated that I had to catch a glimpse of his body through the fabric. It was nice, from what I could tell. Once, I caught myself wishing I’d touched his chest last night, discovered the shape of him for myself.
Bad, Jessica. Terrible thoughts.
“When do you leave for the airport, Eric?” Mrs. Silver asked. She ate like a bird, like Melissa, making Shannon and I look gluttonous. We horded the hot bread as soon as it was brought out. I could have eaten the whole thing with the cinnamon honey butter they served with it. This put our microwave macaroni and popcorn breakfasts to shame.
“After I’m done eating. I’ll be picking up Nelson and Aunt Steph and Amber at the same time.”
“Too bad we couldn’t have planned the others to come in then. Do you think it is unseemly to send a car for them instead of going myself?” Mrs. Silver looked to her husband who shook his head.
“If it weren’t my brother and his kids, I’d go, but they won’t care.”
“Everyone will start trickling in throughout the day. We’ll stick around to greet them, but tonight we’ll have a big bonfire on the beach and with grilled ribs and burgers. Mmm, so good. There will be a bartender and music and everything. We like to kick off the retreat in style.” Shannon gave a little squeal and clap. Her laughter was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile.
Mr. Silver gave me one of his hard looks. “Are you twenty-one, Jessica?”
“Yes, my birthday was just before exams.”
“How lovely! Did your parents come up to see you?” Mrs. Silver asked. She and Melissa had visited Shannon for her twenty first birthday. They’d gone shopping and had cocktails at some fancy restaurant I did not have the money to go to.
My reaction was nearly immediate. I could feel the color drain from my cheeks and I couldn’t look her in the eye. I didn’t know how to answer them without my voice cracking. Shannon rescued me like the saint she was.
“It was just us. I baked us cupcakes in the microwave and we made icing with whip cre
am and strawberries.”
“You made…what in the what?” Melissa took her sunglasses off and gave her sister a concerned look.
I relaxed and Shannon and I shared conspiratorial grins. “They were terrible. We ended up just eating the whip cream out of the tub and watching movies until two in the morning.”
Shannon bumped my shoulder and I was fine with it if she was fine with it. It had been a great birthday.
When I looked up, Jonah was studying me like a specimen under a microscope, but he didn’t have the concerned smiles of his mom and sister, at least.
“It’s too bad your parents couldn’t have come up to see you. Oh, John! We should have invited Jessica’s parents up to the beach house! How rude of us!” Mrs. Silver reached for her husband who seemed to consider her reaction thoughtfully.
“No!” I said quickly and they all turned their attention back to me. “They have summer plans anyway, it’s really not rude. I appreciate the thought though. Really.”
I would pack my bags and walk back to my school if they showed up. The Silvers couldn’t know that though. I didn’t want them to know that my family was the exact opposite of theirs.
Five
The Silver clan consisted of over fifteen other people, aunts and uncles and cousins of all ages and varieties. The McCollisters were the only ones left to arrive when the parade of beautiful people started toward the beach that night. Shannon watched the road to the house, nervous and eager, sometimes grabbing my hand, sometimes not. She still wore her summer dress, and I’d changed into one of Shannon’s dresses to accommodate the upscale beach party. It had tiny straps and a heart shaped neckline. It fitted to my torso, plunged in the back, and flared out in soft, nearly see-through fabric at the skirt. The hem was uneven, longer at the sides, and when the ocean breeze caught the petal-like fabric I felt like some sort of fairy. The underwater blue-green color made my strawberry blonde hair stand out. It felt like too much, but Shannon said it was just enough.
