by Ron Roy
Brian dropped his comic. “I do too care,” he said. “But I just … I mean I want …”
“Mom has been acting like a duck,” Bradley said. “Since Hypo hypnotized her.”
“But it was just a trick,” Lucy said. “Do you really believe that white duck was your mom?”
“Guys, the duck was wearing Mom’s nail polish and her new bracelet!” Bradley said. “Mom became a duck!”
“Anyway, Hypo hypnotized her a second time, and she was fine,” Brian said.
“SHE’S FINE?” Bradley yelled. “Then how do you explain why she’s always wet?” He told Nate and Lucy how Mrs. Pinto was splashing in the tub and in the puddle.
“Wow,” Nate said. “That’s ducky.”
Bradley glared at him.
“And tell them how all this started, Brian,” Bradley went on. He picked up one of Brian’s comics and pointed at the ad about ducks. “Tell them about this!”
Bradley, Nate, and Lucy stared at Brian, who had turned red. “I want to get some ducks,” he said. “The guy in the ad says you can collect their feathers and make money. So I asked our mom, and she said no. I’m too young, she says, and she hates ducks.”
“So my brilliant brother gets Hypo to hypnotize her,” Bradley added. “Suddenly my mother loves ducks. She talks to them and feeds them and plays with rubber ones in the tub! She brought corn into the bathroom!”
“What are you going to do?” Lucy asked.
“I don’t know!” Bradley almost shouted. “All I know is I don’t want a mom who’s half duck!”
“Like Spider-Man,” Nate said. “This guy got bit by a spider, and he turned into one. But only part of the time. The rest of the—”
“We all saw the movie,” Bradley said. “That was make-believe. THIS IS REAL!”
The four kids were quiet. Bradley was staring out the window. Nate and Lucy were looking at each other. Brian was chewing his bottom lip. Pal was snoring.
“I know what we can do!” Lucy said. “Tell Hypo about your mom,” she said. “Ask him to hypnotize her back to normal.”
“But he caused the problem in the first place!” Bradley said. “World’s greatest hypnotist, my foot! I wonder how many other parents he’s turned into farm animals!”
“But maybe he didn’t finish the job,” Nate said. “The first time he tried, he turned your mom into a duck. The second time, he turned her back into your mom, only …”
“Only she’s still part duck!” Brian added.
“So if he does it a third time, your mom should be perfect again!” Lucy said.
Just then they heard a noise in the hallway. Bradley opened the door. Josh was walking past, shoving a cookie in his mouth.
Bradley closed the door. “How do we find Hypo?” he asked. “I’ll do anything to get my real mom back.”
8
Darlene to the Rescue
“Hypo could live anywhere, even California,” Nate said.
“But he might be staying in Green Lawn for a while,” Lucy said. “Last night he told us he grew up here.”
“Wait, he said he used to work at the Shangri-la Hotel,” Brian said. “So maybe he’s staying there!”
“Excellent, Bri,” Bradley said. “Let’s go!” He woke up Pal and snapped on his leash.
The four kids hurried downstairs and through the kitchen. No one was around. Bradley heard laughter coming from the living room.
They fast-walked through the high school playing fields, toward Main Street. Pal barked at the swans as they passed the pond.
Five minutes later they entered the lobby of the hotel. Mr. Linkletter was standing behind the counter. He smiled when he saw the kids, but shook his head at Pal.
“No doggies allowed,” he said. “Not even my old pal Pal.”
“Hi, Mr. Linkletter. We came to see Mr. Hypo,” Bradley said.
Mr. Linkletter raised his eyebrows. “Is he expecting you?” he asked.
“No, but it’s really important,” Nate said. “It’s a matter of life and death!”
“Indeed!” Mr. Linkletter said. A smile crossed his lips, then flew away like a scared hummingbird. “I’ll call his room.”
Mr. Linkletter picked up the hotel phone. He tapped a number. “Mr. Grabowski, there are four children down here to see you,” he said. “And a dog. They said it’s a matter of life and death.… Yes, of course.”
Mr. Linkletter hung up the phone. “Mr. Grabowski will see you,” he said. “Room 207, second floor. Pal will have to stay here with me.”
“Hypo’s real name is Grabowski?” Nate said.
“It is indeed,” Mr. Linkletter said. He walked around the counter and took Pal’s leash from Bradley.
“Thanks a lot, Mr. Linkletter,” Bradley said.
The four kids found the elevator and got off on the second floor. They followed the signs to room 207. The long hallway was quiet.
“This place is creepy,” Brian whispered. “What if he hypnotizes us and makes us zombies or something?”
“Dude, hypnosis only works if you want it to,” Nate said. “Do you want to be a zombie?”
“Let me think about it,” Brian said.
Bradley knocked on the door. It was opened by a total stranger.
The man standing there was short and bald. He wore a baggy sweatshirt.
“Is Mr. Grabowski here?” Bradley asked.
“I am he!” the man said. “Better known as Hypo, the world’s greatest hypnotist.”
Bradley recognized Hypo’s voice.
“Come in, come in,” the man said.
The four kids walked in. They were in a living room with nice furniture and a big TV. Bradley saw Hypo’s fake mustache on a table. Some doors led to other rooms.
“Please have a seat,” Hypo said.
The kids lined up on the sofa.
Just then a big white duck waddled into the room. The duck’s toenails were pink.
Bradley nearly swallowed his tongue.
Brian ran over to the duck. “Mom?” he said. “Is that you?”
Lucy just stared at the duck.
“Hi, Mrs. Pinto,” Nate said.
Hypo laughed. “This isn’t your mother,” he said to Bradley and Brian.
“This is Darlene, the world’s smartest duck.”
“I don’t get it,” Bradley said. “Last night, you hypnotized our mom. She became a duck. This duck. That’s why we’re here, Mr. Grab—”
“Please, call me Arnold,” the man said. “Your mother used to call me Arnie when we were in school together.”
“You went to school with our mom?” Brian said.
Hypo nodded. “Yes, didn’t she tell you? We graduated from high school together. I was so surprised when she called me.”
“Mom called you?” Bradley asked.
“Yep. Yesterday afternoon.” Hypo winked at the kids. “That was some funny trick she played on you, wasn’t it?”
The four kids just stared at Hypo. All four mouths were open. Bradley felt dizzy, like the time he’d had sunstroke.
“It was … the duck was … it was all a joke?” Brian said.
“Yes, of course!” Hypo said. “Your mom told me she heard you two talking in your bedroom. Something about getting me to hypnotize her so she’d let Brian have ducks. Which one is Brian?”
“I am,” Brian said. “So the whole thing was fake?”
“I’m afraid so,” Hypo said. “It was your mom’s idea to put her bracelet around Darlene’s neck. I’m the one who thought of painting her toenails.”
“The bracelet and nail polish made us think it was really Mom,” Bradley said. His brain was doing flip-flops.
“Yes, your mom and I had such fun planning this together,” Hypo said.
“May I hold Darlene?” Lucy asked.
Hypo settled Darlene in Lucy’s arms. “Anyway, your mom asked for my help in playing the trick on you,” he went on. “But you look so surprised. Didn’t she tell you the whole thing was a joke? Even your dad and your
brother Josh were in on it.”
“That is so cool!” Nate said. “We all thought she really became a duck!”
“And she’s still pretending to be one,” Brian said.
“Oh, she’s so naughty,” Hypo said. “Pammy told me she was going to tell you the truth on the way home last night.”
“Pammy must have forgotten,” Bradley said. He thought of his mom splashing in the puddle. The corn on the bathroom floor. The rubber duckies in the tub. It was all a big fat joke!
Then Bradley grinned. He had an idea. “Arnold, may we borrow Darlene for an hour?” he asked.
9
The Last Laugh
Hypo looked at Bradley. “May I ask why you want to borrow my duck?” he said.
Bradley grinned and explained his plan.
“I love it!” Hypo said when Bradley had finished. “I’ll even drive you home. But you have to promise that I can watch!”
Brian, Nate, and Lucy loved the idea, too. Five minutes later, they were all piled in Hypo’s car with Darlene. Pal gave Darlene a doggy kiss in the backseat. Bradley gave Hypo directions to his house.
“Park behind the barn so Mom and Dad won’t see us,” Brian told Hypo. “Then we can all sneak in the back door.”
The four kids, Pal, and Hypo, who was carrying Darlene, tiptoed into the house. Bradley peeked into the living room. His parents and Josh were playing cards. Bradley led the others quietly up the stairs. They crept into his bedroom and closed the door.
“This is more fun than hypnotizing people!” Hypo said. “Where can I hide?”
“In my closet,” Brian said. “Just kick my stuff out of the way.”
But first, he pulled down the covers on his bed. Bradley grabbed Brian’s I’M BRIAN T-shirt off the floor and put it on Darlene. She let out a soft quack.
“She looks so cute in it!” Lucy said.
“Yeah, much cuter than Brian when he wears it,” Nate said.
Hypo settled Darlene in Brian’s bed. He pulled the covers over her head. “No quacking,” Hypo told Darlene.
Brian hid under his bed with Pal.
Hypo, Nate, and Lucy squeezed into the closet.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Bradley whispered. “No giggling!”
Nate giggled.
Bradley ran down the stairs. He burst into the living room. “Mom! Dad!” he cried. “Something is wrong with Brian! He’s in bed making awful sounds!”
Bradley’s parents dropped their cards and followed Bradley up the stairs. Josh was right behind them, chomping on a cookie.
They ran into the twins’ bedroom.
“See, there he is!” Bradley said, pointing to the lump under Brian’s blanket.
Bradley’s mother pulled the blanket back. “Brian, what are you do—” she started to say.
But it wasn’t Brian looking back at her.
It was Darlene, the duck.
Darlene looked at Mrs. Pinto.
Mrs. Pinto looked at Darlene.
Under the bed, Brian let out a loud “QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!”
Josh burst out laughing. “They got you back, Mom!” he yelled.
Then everyone laughed. Nate, Lucy, and Hypo piled out of the closet. They were red from trying not to laugh.
The only two not laughing were Darlene and Pal.
They just looked at each other as if to say, “Humans are strange!”
