by M. J. Scott
“What is it?”
“Ash, will it really be okay?”
“Cross my heart and hope to—” I cut off the thought. “I mean, of course it will.”
“I don’t want to be a vampire,” Rhi said softly.
The blue pulsed and sadness rolled over me. Rhi’s sadness. I felt in my bones her revulsion at what she’d become. At what she’d done. And I shivered because, deep down, I didn’t know if everything would be okay.
Because nothing could change what she’d become. Or what had happened. She had to choose to live with it.
Or make another choice.
No. I thrust the thought away. We’d both survive and Rhi would adjust. No other outcome was acceptable.
“Everything is going to be okay. Remember I love you and so do lots of other people,” I repeated, doing my best to hug her mentally. “Let’s get on with it.”
For just a moment, I felt ghostly arms go around me. “I love you too, Ash,” Rhi said gently and then the blue surrounded me completely and sucked me under.
* * *
When I came back to myself, Rhi was screaming. My heart leaped into my throat before I remembered the plan. At least, I hoped this was the plan.
“What did you do?” Cilla hissed at me as she reached for Rhi.
I shook my head, trying to clear the fog from my brain. “I didn’t do anything. I remember Rhi holding my head and then there was floating and then—”
“Idiot.” Cilla gathered Rhi closer as the screams redoubled. I had to hand it to Rhi, she could give any horror movie heroine you cared to name a run for her money.
“What is it?” Cilla said anxiously. “Rhianna, what’s wrong?”
“My head,” Rhi moaned. “It’s so noisy.” She pressed her hands to her ears. “Too many voices. Make them stop.”
“Make who stop?” Cilla said.
Rhi glared. “I can hear you all. Spinning in my head. Monsters. They drown out the secrets.”
“You didn’t find it?” Cilla’s tone sharpened and I fought not to smile.
Rhi screamed again, twisting in Cilla’s arms. “Make them stop. It hurts.”
Cilla nodded. “Of course. Hush now. I’ll send them away and you can try again.”
“Monsters. They’re hurting me.”
“Get out,” Cilla snapped. I realized she was talking to the other vampires. “Take the wolf with you.”
Shit. I hadn’t planned on this. I needed to stick with Rhi if we were going to get free. But I couldn’t protest or I might just give us away. I let the vamps steer me toward the door and tried not to be too obvious about catching Rhi’s eye.
Cilla was focused on Rhi, rubbing her back like a mother soothing a fretful child. Rhi’s eyes met mine but there was no hint of recognition. No hint that this was all an act.
But I had to pray it was and trust that she was just making sure Cilla believed her. I just had time to mouth ‘remember’ at her before I was hustled out of the room and back to my cell.
* * *
I’d barely had time to sit down when the door to the cell slammed open and Cilla stormed in. I scrambled to my feet but she was on me before I could get my balance. She backhanded me savagely and I crashed back onto the bed.
“What did you do to her?” she screamed.
I coughed and spat blood as I pushed myself up to a sitting position. “I told you I didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t lie to me, bitch.” With one yank she flipped the bed upward and over. I hit the floor hard. The bed came crashing down on me. I heard something snap and screamed as pain flashed down my side.
Change.
I did it without thinking. In a blink I was in wolf form and scrabbling free of the bed. Cilla paused for a moment, looking surprised. I sprang for her but she moved too fast and I missed, sliding into the wall as my nails found no purchase on the tiled floor.
Cilla picked up a piece of the splintered bed. “Try that again.” Her face twisted in fury.
I watched her, warily, growling a warning. She still had the silver knife in her belt. That was the biggest danger. I could survive being hit by anything else. Hopefully.
Behind me the door stood open. I couldn’t hear anyone else outside but vampires could be pretty quiet and the scent of Cilla’s rage made it hard to smell anything else.
Tension stretched as we stared at each other, and then Cilla shrieked and leaped at me again. I could only see a blur moving toward me, she was moving at full vamp speed now; not the smartest idea in such a small room. I launched myself in the other direction, not wanting to be between her and the wall when she hit.
Plaster buckled and smashed as she did but it didn’t seem to stop her. She whirled back to face me, brushing plaster dust from her clothes. “If you’ve—”
“Cilla, what are you doing?” Smith’s voice came from the doorway.
“She did something.” Cilla hissed. “Rhianna was fine and now she’s screaming.”
Smith looked at me then back to her. I heard his heart beating. Fast. Almost too fast for a human to bear. But his face stayed calm. “She’s a werewolf. She doesn’t have the sort of psychic powers vampires do. What could she do?”
“Rhianna is screaming!” Cilla’s voice was near to a shriek again. “She hurt her.”
“Sssssh,” Smith said. “Calm down. Maybe Rhianna just wasn’t ready to do what you asked. She’s only a baby, you know.”
I stared at him, wondering what the hell was going on.
“She’s mine,” Cilla said. “I made her.”
“I know,” Smith said. “Your baby. And nothing’s going to happen to her.”
Cilla’s face twisted. “I can’t lose another one.” She snarled at me again. “She already killed Henry in Caldwell. And poor Tony. Look what happened to him.” She reached for another piece of the splintered bed. “She’s going to ruin everything. Let me kill her.”
I hunched back into the corner.
Smith moved a little closer. He was brave, I had to give him that. If I’d been human there was no way I’d be walking toward the crazed vampire. “Cilla, love. Calm down. We still need Robert’s formula, remember? Did Rhi get it?”
“No. I told you. This stupid wolf did something.”
“Then we need to try again.” He kept his voice low, soothing.
“But Rhi’s hurt. She says her head hurts.” Cilla bit her lip, looking torn.
“She’s not used to being telepathic, maybe it does hurt. She needs time to learn control,” Smith said. “Maybe—”
“There’s no time,” Cilla said. “You know they’ll be looking for her.” She jerked her head at me. “We can’t have another setback.” She dropped the piece of wood and I relaxed, just slightly. “We need to do this now.”
“Do what?” Smith said, still in that low soothe-the-spooked-animal voice.
“Get Rhi to try again. You need to get everyone else out of here. Clear the building.”
“I’m not leaving you alone with them,” Smith said. “It’s too risky.”
“You’ll do whatever the fuck I tell you to.” This time Cilla’s fury was directed at Smith. She came forward in a rush. In a second she had him bailed up against the wall, one hand squeezing his throat. “This is all your fault, Ned. All of it. You owe me. And you will do what I say. Hear me?”
Smith nodded, face purple.
“Good.” She let go of him and he gasped then started coughing. I winced in sympathy. “Clear the building. You have an hour.” She turned back to me. “Give me any trouble and I’ll skin you,” she said coolly.
Something in her tone made me certain she wasn’t kidding.
She stalked out of the room, dragging Smith with her. I heard the door lock behind them and changed back to human form with a shiver, trembling from surplus adrenaline. I was starving again but somehow I doubted Cilla would be feeding me anytime soon.
So I focused on finding what shreds of clothing I could in the wreckage of the room, and waited for her to
come back.
* * *
I waited for what felt like hours. And in the time I had to think, I could only come up with one conclusion. I had to kill Cilla.
She was the one driving this whole insane business, the one who was going to try and kill me.
The one who wanted to turn Rhi into a monster just like her.
By the time Cilla came for me, I’d made up my mind.
Her or me.
But when she finally flung the door open, she was carrying Smith’s gun. For a moment she regarded me, eyes gleaming dark pools of nothing. Then the gun lifted, pointing straight at my head.
My heart went into overdrive. She was going to kill me. God. Dan. Rhi. God.
Then she moved her hand slightly to the right and fired. A chunk of wall exploded next to my face and the noise nearly deafened me.
I stared at her, too stunned to react as my ears roared and rang and she just smiled. “Just in case you think I’m not a good shot,” she said. Then she motioned with the gun. “Now, come with me.”
We marched down the hall, the still warm gun pressed into my back right at the point where it would blow my heart out if she fired.
Needless to say I didn’t try anything.
“Stop.”
I stopped.
Cilla opened a door and then pushed me through. It was the same room I’d been in before with Rhianna.
The scent of fear and blood and death filled the room, making my throat close.
Rhi sat in a chair, hands bound to its narrow metal arms. Her face was tearstained and she didn’t look at me as Cilla and I entered. Another chair stood opposite hers.
“Sit down,” Cilla said, poking the gun harder into my back.
I sat. Cilla slammed the door shut, dark hair wild around her head. She swiped a card at a reader pad on the wall and there was a thunking noise as the locks clicked home. Ice swirled around my stomach and arrowed up my spine.
Locked up all alone with a pissed off psycho vamp. Not my favorite situation.
But fortunately—or unfortunately—one I’d been in before.
“Are you okay?” I asked Rhi as I tried to think. We needed a plan. Time was running out.
The room was small and mostly bare. Dark industrial carpet lined the floor and a row of empty glass and wood cabinets stood along one wall. The window was covered with the same wooden shutters sealed with rubber as the room Smith had interrogated me in. The sort of cheap sun protection places that don’t have many vamp visitors use. After all, why pay megabucks for the UV proof glass when wood and rubber do a good enough job for occasional use?
I strained my ears and nose but apart from the three of us, I couldn’t hear or smell anybody else. Which meant maybe, just maybe, I might be able to make a move if I got a chance. I had no illusions about surviving. I doubted Smith and his guards had retreated too far but at this point I didn’t really care. Freeing Rhi and taking Cilla down were all that mattered.
Rhi’s eyes flickered to me briefly but she stayed silent.
“So, are you ready to cooperate?” Cilla asked. The hilt of her silver knife hung at her waist. My side burned in remembrance.
“I already cooperated,” I said, stalling. My head throbbed in unison with my side, a combination of the leftover pain of Cilla throwing me across a room and the strain of screaming in my head for Jase whenever they left me alone. “I did what you asked.”
“That’s too bad for you.” Cilla aimed the gun at me again.
I shivered. There was no point in hiding my fear from Cilla. I reeked of it as badly as the room and my heart was pounding so hard I was half surprised I hadn’t passed out.
Cilla moved to Rhianna. She shoved the gun into the belt at her waist then put one hand on the knife hilt and the other on Rhi’s head, stroking her hair. “Maybe I can find an incentive for you to try harder.” The knife slid free with a hiss of leather.
I stared at it, trying to focus. Tired. I was so tired. Tired of fear and violence. Tired of loss and pain and sacrifice. I tried reaching for the energy of the moon but got nothing but a faint buzz. Which meant, only a few days past full, that it must be daylight. Otherwise I’d be able to feel the moon. I glanced at the shutters. If Rhi wasn’t here, I could try and break them and fry Cilla where she stood. Screw letting her be brought in alive. I wanted her dead.
Cilla laughed. “So close and yet so far.” She traced the blade down Rhi’s cheek. Rhi stayed still, but her eyes met mine. There was no fight in the expression. No hope.
Nothing to indicate she remembered our plan or cared about it.
I looked again at the tears on her face and wondered if Cilla had tried some ‘persuasion’ on her as well.
I hoped not. Cilla appeared to have left sanity—at least anything I recognized as sanity—behind a long time but she did seem to be fixated on no one hurting her ‘children.’ Rhi fell into that category, if children meant vamps made with the assistance of Smith’s drugs.
Still, I didn’t like the way the knife pressed just a little too hard into Rhi’s skin. After all, push a psycho too far and they snap. Then anything or anyone in their way was fair game. Tate had taught me that. My mouth tasted like dust, drier than ever. I swallowed painfully. “If you hurt her, you won’t be able to get what you want.”
“Maybe not. But I don’t think she’s really tried to find out.” The knife paused, then pricked deeper. The sharp sour smell of vamp blood joined the other odors in the room. Rhi jerked her head, blood trickling down her cheek.
My hands curled tight, a growl rising in my throat. “I’m happy to let Rhianna try again, you don’t have to hurt her.”
Cilla’s eyes narrowed then she smiled. “I knew you’d see sense.” She beckoned me, black painted nails looking like razor blades. I edged my chair closer to Rhianna’s. This close, Cilla’s violet scent filled my nose. It felt cloying and sticky, like it was trying to climb down my throat and steal my breath. My stomach heaved.
“Kneel down, puppy,” Cilla said. “Rhianna needs to look into your eyes.”
I slid off the chair and knelt. The floor was hard under my knees, the cheap carpeting doing little to pad the concrete beneath. Cold seeped upward, exacerbating the tiny tremors in my legs.
“Good. Now, Rhianna. Let’s try this again. No one else is here. It’s nice and quiet, just the way you wanted.”
Rhianna looked at me. Still nothing in her eyes to indicate she was working with me rather than with Cilla. Fingers of ice gripped my spine. Either Rhi deserved an Oscar or I was in trouble.
Rhianna’s hands trembled as she put them on either side of my head, leaning forward so our faces were only inches apart. Her breath brushed my skin, cool and still carrying the faint scent of blood.
Another reminder that everything had changed.
Once again, I tried to relax, tried to think of something to keep me calm enough to let Rhianna in.
“Hurry up,” Cilla said.
Her voice broke my concentration. I glanced upward to find her staring down at us. The knife was back in its sheath, the gun tucked beside it. So close. It would only take a second to make a play for the gun. But I couldn’t make a move. Not yet.
I needed Cilla to be relaxed and off guard. Right now, tension practically vibrated through her.
“Look at me,” Rhi said softly.
I flicked my eyes back to hers, forced myself to let that summer sky color in and breathe as the world flowed away.
“Ash?” Rhianna’s voice was quiet in my head and as I watched, she appeared in my mind. But not dressed in pink. This time she wore black. Severe, unrelieved black. Pants and shirt and shoes in a black so dark and dense it seemed to absorb the light around her. Her hair was scraped back from her face and black ringed her eyes as well like she’d been on a three day bender with a kohl pencil.
“You going goth?” I asked nervously.
She shook her head. “I want you to listen to me.”
A chill stole over me. “I’m listenin
g.”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About how it’s all going to be okay.”
“It will be. Just trust me.”
Another headshake. “No. No, it won’t. And I don’t want it to be. Ash, I don’t want to live like this.”
The ice spread out from my spine, enveloping every inch of me. My chest ached with the cold, pain numbing me. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t want to be a vampire. So, if there’s a way to take Cilla out, then take it. Don’t worry about me.”
Was it possible to be colder than freezing? I couldn’t feel my body. Couldn’t think either but I had to. Had to convince Rhi that she was wrong. “I’m not leaving you behind.”
“I’m not asking you to leave me behind. I’m saying don’t worry about me.”
“Rhi, don’t do this. My father’s research, whatever’s in my head, maybe it can fix you.”
“Turn me back?”
I couldn’t lie to her. Nothing was going to change her back into a human. “No. But they could make you a normal vampire. You’d be able to live. Lots of vamps are happy.” That much was true, most vampires seemed content enough. Of course, those who weren’t, at least the ones I’d met, fell more into the rabidly insane category.
“I can’t drink the manufactured blood.”
“Lots of vamps drink human blood without killing.”
“I know.” She sounded so lost. “But, Ash, you don’t understand. I liked it. I liked killing that man, draining his blood. I’m a monster now.”
Chapter Eighteen
My heart twisted, cracked, and shattered. “No! No, that’s not true. You’re still you. You can control what you do.”
“But I can’t control what I am. I’m sorry, Ash. I know this isn’t your fault. You have to try and get out of here.”
“Not without you.”
“Any way you can.”
The blue surrounding me turned paler, the color of a glacier’s heart, cold as the razored shards of pain and fear slicing through me.
“Promise me.”Rhi’s voice was fierce.
I hesitated and that icy blue tightened around me like a net of glass wrapping around my brain so I couldn’t think, couldn’t argue.
