Vicky remembered and was distressed. “But you can add me again, huh? Please!”
“I’ll think about it!” Kate promised and looked into Papa’s study.
There Mama was working on Costa’s left hand, which had already been warmed with ozokerite.[30] Ozokerite is a mineral wax. When simmering, it gurgles and reeks, and then it hardens and is so similar to chocolate that it tempts one to eat it.
Now Mama was forcing Costa to take small objects and drop them in a box. It was not working out. Costa tried to grab the object with his right hand, but Mama firmly held his right hand in her own. Costa got angry and bit the fingers of his left hand. He wanted to finish everything somewhat more quickly. He hated working his left hand. Why the left when it is possible to do everything with the right? Even picking up a heavy chair and dragging it to “cartoons”.
Once, Mama even put a plaster cast on Costa’s right arm up to the elbow, so that he would work with the left. But he managed to work the tips of the right hand even through the plaster. Besides, he quickly figured out that the plaster could hurt in a fight and walked around the house like a king, dispersing his brothers and sisters on the way.
Kate stood and watched as Mama and Costa waged war with small figurines.
“Work! No one will marry you!” someone said instructively behind Kate.
Kate turned around. This was Alena sneaking up and pushing her head into the room. Kate also could not stand Alena yet and, forgetting that she had just chased away Andrew and Seraphim, climbed over the fence to the Mokhovs.
All the Mokhovs were at home. Even Papa Marat Mokhov, something that actually rarely happened. He was usually rushing around the city from morning to night and photographing weddings, school kids, kindergartens, parties, and other such things. Nevertheless, sometimes Papa Mokhov wanted to put his heart into his work, because he was a good photographer after all, not a hack wandering along the beach with a dead monkey. Then he would give up a whole workday, take his camera, and go to the mountains to shoot landscapes.
Now it was one such spell of Papa Mokhov. After returning from work, he kicked the bag with his work Nikon under the sofa with a jaunty, but actually very careful, foot movement and took from the closet a box with an old Japanese lens.
Mama Mokhov, with sixth sense, guessed from the room where her husband was now and what he was doing. She tore herself away from the Internet and asked, “Marat! Are you going to the mountains?”
“Yes!” Papa Mokhov replied, admiring the lens. The lens was the size of a small saucer and mounted on a digital camera via an adapter. Papa Mokhov was very proud of it and claimed that it contained either mercury or caesium or something equally dangerous, and that if it were dropped, it would be very jolly for all. As a minimum, the whole house would have to be decontaminated.
Kate and Alex were standing beside Papa Mokhov and staring as he lovingly wiped the lens. He noticed this and said merrily, “The Japanese, you know, are people of high goals! Now they make everything on a production line. But about forty years ago, if they needed a lens, they would put a dead cat there, for example, or pour potassium cyanide, provided that there would be a good lens! Still, this is very whimsical! That’s what I love about it!”
“Whimsical?” Alex repeated.
“Yes! It doesn’t agree with the electronic brains of modern cameras. And that’s not all! It bluntly rejects nine photographs out of ten, but the tenth one is absolutely brilliant! Simply scoops up life like a washbowl! Any auto-focus, any blurring, it’s not for it at all!”
Uncle Marat stood, gazing thoughtfully at the lens. A thought was slowly ripening in him. “I want to go to the mountains, but no sense in going today. By the time you’ve wait for the bus and gotten there, the lighting will be nothing at all. Right?”
”Yes,” Kate said obediently, understanding that precisely this response was expected of her.
“But I want to shoot something NOW!” Uncle Marat continued to develop his thought. “And here’s what I’ve come up with: I’ll photograph your family with this lens! It’s not a portrait, but it’s also interesting… Do you have at least one general family photo?”
“No!” Kate said. “In parts yes, but you’ll never gather everyone together!”
“Excellent! Get Alex, and let’s go to your place!” And Uncle Marat swiftly jumped over the fence. Jumping down, he carefully pressed the camera to his stomach.
Kate, whose mood had abruptly improved, ran to call everyone. Mama, of course, said that she did not have time to wash her hair and that she always turned out poorly, but she was persuaded. Peter declared that he would not have his picture taken and that it was all kitschy-mushy and sappy. But they also talked him into it. Alena ran for the puppy. What would a group shot be without the puppy, which is also a member of the family? And the turtle, Mafia, is a family member, and the rats headed by Schwartz, and the guinea pigs. Everything should be in the photo!
Finally, everyone was gathered, including the turtle, guinea pigs, rats, and pigeons, which had been handed out to everyone, and Uncle Marat began to arrange everybody. Alena climbed forward, Costa tried to touch the camera lens, and Alex wanted to go to the toilet, because it turned out that he did not know how to open the door at the Mokhovs’ and was too shy to ask.
“Say who’s not here! Let the one who isn’t here respond! Rita!” Mama shouted. “Where is she? Someone get Rita!”
Someone went to get Rita, but when that someone was gone, Rita was discovered near someone’s leg, but then somebody had disappeared and that was the end of it. Nevertheless, not for nothing did Uncle Marat frequently photograph large groups and he showed incredible patience.
“No, you’re certainly not the fire brigade or hospital personnel. They all wait for the birdie in such a way that you would be touched! Pure souls! Everyone look at me and don’t tense up! Now a hundred birdies will take off in a row!”
“Why so many?”
“Otherwise it doesn’t work. The majority of the birds will still fly the wrong way… Attention! Say cheese!”
And then Uncle Marat’s camera was already clicking continuously. Uncle Marat first ran away, then closer, then got down on one knee with the camera above his head. Even Peter, turning the back of his head to the camera, accidentally got into the image several times, because he carelessly turned his head around to check whether this madness was finished. And more and more new kids climbed over the fence. Seraphim, who got lost, climbed over, Nina climbed over, Andrew climbed over, and even their mama showed herself to report sadly that her computer had hung.
And Uncle Marat was clicking all the time, releasing all new birdies. Rita got tired of sitting still. She was bouncing on Papa’s shoulders and rocking to and fro, and Papa was also rocking with her, because Rita was able to rock in such a way that even a concrete pole would loosen.
“May I stand this way so the sun isn’t in my eyes?” Alena asked.
“You may, but then nothing will turn out! Everything goes to the sun!” Uncle Marat replied.
These simple words, said regarding something totally different, struck Papa Gavrilov. He suddenly realized that everything really does go to the sun and not anywhere or to anything else. Later he was whispering for a long time, while standing, “Everything goes to the sun! Everything goes to the sun!”
* * *
In the evening, the house phone rang. Mama shuddered. Their house phone rarely rang. Indeed, they often called each other on cell phones.
“Hello!” Mama said carefully, and by the special posture of her back and how she suddenly tensed up and turned to the window, everyone sensed that the owner of the house was calling, because who else could it be?
Papa and all seven children crowded around Mama and were so quiet that one could hear the scratching in Schwartz’s cage. For some reason, the children always caught on when a call was really important. When they felt that the call was not important, the noise was usually such that Mama had to either plug up her other ear
with a finger to hear something at least or run into the bathroom.
Mama answered in monosyllables and it was quite impossible from her responses to figure out exactly what the old man wanted and whether he was trying to evict them from the house.
“All is lost! I know that all is lost!” Alena said loudly.
At that exact second, Mama hung up and turned to them.
“Well! Well! What?” everyone yelled.
Mama paused for a few seconds, but everyone already saw that her eyes were shining. “His granddaughter has given birth to a girl!” Mama informed them. “Grandpa is very happy and no longer wants to come here! Says the great-granddaughter is just a spitting image of him.”
“What? Also smokes tobacco and files her nails with a pumice stone?” Papa asked.
Mama waved a hand at him and Peter laughed. Alena ran around the rooms, stroked the walls, and, while kissing them, repeated, “Our house! Ours! We’ll live here for a long time!”
And then it was the usual bustling day, but a happy day, because Mama, Papa, and the seven children already knew that they would remain here. Someone fought, someone made peace, someone spilled water on the floor in the bathroom, someone whined that he would not do homework. Papa had work and Mama had the running around, laundry, and dishes. In the evening, Mama, as always, read aloud to the young ones.
Then the long preparation for bed began. Someone woke someone, someone leaped up and started jumping. Costa, whom they thought was already asleep, suddenly announced that he wanted a drink. Rita also wanted a drink and wanted to eat, and the party continued for another half an hour.
Now, however, a miracle finally happened and everyone fell asleep, including Papa, who, putting Alex and Costa down, also unnoticeably fell asleep himself.
Mama walked around all the rooms, looked at everyone, covered up everyone, pulled headphones from all the kids’ ears, and turned off the lights everywhere. Then she carefully descended the stairs to the first floor. She found the kettle and set it on the stove. The kettle began to boil with a strange, slightly embarrassed sound, which usually rumbles in the stomachs of polite people. The boiler, in which something was banging and hooting, responded to the kettle. It was felt that the kettle and the boiler were well acquainted and had known each other for a long time.
Mama sat on the edge of a chair, drank tea, nibbled on very hard rolls found in the kitchen cupboard, and mused that the greatest happiness of a mother of many children is when everyone is home and asleep.
The end
Примечания
1
Woe from Wit is a comedy in verse by Alexander Sergeyevich Griboyedov (1795–1829), Russian diplomat and playwright, as well as poet and composer. The play is a satire about post-Napoleonic Moscow society. It was written in 1823 but only first published in 1833. It was compulsory reading in school during Soviet times.
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2
Megamind is the super-intelligent alien protagonist of the 2010 3D computer-animated superhero action comedy of the same name.
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3
The Headless Horseman (1865-66), a novel by Thomas Mayne Reid (1818-83), an American novelist of adventure novels, is based on a south Texas folk tale.
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4
It is unclear whether Schwarz is a historical or purely legendary figure. It has been suggested that he was a historical alchemist of the late 14th century who developed gunpowder in Germany.
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5
The International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) Red List of Threatened Species.
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6
Valerian is a perennial flowering plant with the roots being used in herbal medicine, since valerian root has sedative and anxiolytic effects.
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7
The Nursing Madonna shows the Virgin Mary breastfeeding the infant Jesus, a depiction representing Humility.
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8
Our Lady of Kazan is an icon representing the Virgin Mary as the protector and patroness of the city of Kazan.
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9
Latin phrase: remember that you must die.
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10
A measurement of attention obtained.
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11
Nadezhda Konstantinovna Krupskaya (1869–1939), a Bolshevik and politician, was Lenin's wife.
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12
Dmitri Ilyich Ulyanov (1874–1943), a doctor and Marxist, was the younger brother of Lenin – Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov.
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13
Afanasy Afanasyevich Fet (1820-92) was a Russian poet, regarded as one of the finest lyricists in Russian literature.
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14
Liuba is a diminutive of the name Liubov, which, in Russian, means love.
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15
Brilliant Green is a dye, the diluted alcoholic solution of which is used as a topical antiseptic in Eastern Europe.
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16
In a Russian passport, there is a page that lists all the children belonging to the passport holder. If there are more than 3 children, then they are admitted into a museum or a zoo for free.
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17
Nestor Ivanovich Makhno (1888–1934) was a Ukrainian anarcho-communist revolutionary during the Russian Civil War (1917-22).
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18
A Mauser is a German army rifle introduced in 1871, invented by the brothers Peter Paul (1838–1914) and Wilhelm (1834-82) von Mauser.
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19
Baron Georges-Charles de Heeckeren d’Anthès (1812-95) was a French military officer and politician, the brother-in-law of the wife of the great Russian poet Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin (1799–1837), whom d’Anthès killed in a duel.
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20
Taras Grigorovich Shevchenko (1814-61), was a Ukrainian literary, artistic, and political figure. His literary heritage is regarded to be the foundation of modern Ukrainian literature.
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21
Anton Semenovych Makarenko (1888–1939), Russian and Soviet educator, promoted democratic ideas and principles in educational theory and practice.
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22
Lobnoe mesto, also known as the Place of Skulls, is an old circular stone platform on Red Square, a place that was used for the announcement of royal decrees and other special public events.
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23
Long-distance trains within Russia have 3 main classes of accommodation. First class has 2-berth compartments with both beds at the lower level on both sides of the compartment. Second class is 4 berths per compartment. Third class is an open-plan dormitory car with bunks arranged in bays of 4 on one side of the aisle and bays of 2 along the coach wall on the other side of the aisle.
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24
Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818-83) was a Russian prose writer and playwright. His works are regarded as major 19th century Russian Realism.
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25
A baked charlotte is similar to a fruit and custard pie, with the piecrust replaced by sponge cake or bread soaked in oil or egg.
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26
A pet passport for a cat or a dog is an international veterinary document containing information about the animal in questions and its owner, proof of vaccinations, ID information such as the number of the microchip or tattoo, and other information required to simplify the transportation of the animal between countries without undergoing quarantine.
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27
Svet is Russian for light and mrak is Russian for darkness. So Aunt Sveta is aunt of light and Aunt Mraka is aunt of darkness.
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28
The Moscow Art Theatre was founded in 1898. Its production of The Seagull (1895) by Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860–1904), a Rus
sian physician better known as a playwright and seminal dramaturge of early Modernism in the theatre, as well as one of history’s greatest writers of short stories, was so successful that the theatre adopted the seagull as its emblem.
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29
The Literary Fund, established in 1934, is an organization attached to the Soviet Writers’ Union that renders everyday support to writers.
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30
Ozokerite is a naturally occurring mineral wax. Its high thermal capacity and low heat conduction allow it to give heat to the body for a long time. Hence, it can be used for therapeutic heat treatment.
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Mutiny of the Little Sweeties Page 16
