Second Chances

by Sarah Price

  Mary laughed, still giddy and behaving like a young girl in a way that brought color to Anna’s cheeks. She averted her eyes when her sister gushed, “God blessed us with this cool evening air. A welcome change from the heat, ja?”

  “Oh, now, Mary, what heat? I would say God’s taken right gut care of us this summer,” Cris countered. “Not too hot and the crops received just enough water.”

  Anna started walking again, more than eager to put a little distance between herself and the discussion behind her, and noticed Hannah returning to Cris and Mary. Now she wished that she had volunteered to stay behind with the boys.

  Clearing his throat, Freman mumbled, “Excuse me,” and quickened his pace. With more energy in his step, he passed them and hurried ahead to join Leah, who stood on the crest of the hill.

  Despite not wanting to, Anna’s eyes trailed after him, watching his back as he walked up the incline. His broad shoulders certainly spoke of his work ethic; no man who lazed about could be so strong and muscular. The straw hat that sat atop his head looked new, the brim perfectly maintained, an indication that he did not work outdoors. Farmers frequently removed their hats to wipe the sweat from their brows, damaging them in the process. Since replacing hats wasn’t always practical, farmers were easily identified from those Amish men who worked mostly indoors.

  At the top of the hill, already waiting for the others, Freman and Leah stood facing the setting sun. Engaged in admiring the beautiful colors that filled the horizon, neither one noticed Anna. Not wishing to interrupt them or be viewed as eavesdropping, Anna stood slightly apart from them, wishing that the others would hurry up and finish their ascent. Despite the distance between herself and the couple, Anna could not, however, avoid overhearing their conversation since their voices carried on the evening breeze.

  “What a lovely view,” Freman said, his hands behind his back as he stared toward the sun. “I have missed such beautiful sunsets. I believe that God paints Ohio’s skies with a special brush.”

  Leah glanced up at him, a look upon her face that Anna couldn’t help but observe: adoration. Clearly Anna was not the only one who had noticed that Freman was particularly partial to Leah Musser. As far as Anna knew, the young woman had not courted before, and as she was almost twenty-one, the thought of marriage would certainly be at the forefront of her mind.

  “Ohio is rather spectacular,” Leah said.

  “Have you traveled outside of the state?” The question was asked with genuine curiosity. “Indiana? Pennsylvania?”

  She shook her head. “Nee, I have not.”

  Anna glanced over her shoulder, seeing Mary slip on the grass, her flat-bottomed shoes not providing enough traction. Luckily, Cris was close enough to catch her.

  “It’s nice to see other places,” Freman said. “Of course, there is no place like home.”

  “It must be nice for your schwester to return to Ohio after so many years away,” Leah stated.

  “Ah, Sara.” He smiled, glancing down at Leah, and for the briefest of seconds, noticing Anna standing apart from them. “She is most content to be wherever George is, I assure you.”

  Leah sighed. “Home is where the heart is, ja?”

  Another glance in Anna’s direction preceded his reply. “For most, although some may believe that the heart is where home is, instead.” He didn’t wait for Leah to comment nor did he look at Anna to see her reaction. Instead, he glanced at the sunset once again. “George and Sara had yet to return from his sister’s haus when I left. I pray they have caught this glorious gift from God, although I should worry more about that new horse of theirs. He’s apt to upset the carriage.”

  “Prone to spooking, then?” Leah asked.

  “Indeed.” Freman shook his head. “It’s a wonder my schwester is willing to ride with George at all, being knocked about so!”

  To this, Leah smiled and, in a gesture so unexpected and rare, caught his attention by touching his arm. “Oh, Freman, you might look at it as being knocked about and riding within a cloud of danger, but I can assure you that if I felt the same way about my husband as Sara feels for George, I’d never want to be left at home, either.” She tilted her head and looked toward the sun so that her eyes were downcast. “I’d want to be by his side always. There would be no amount of persuasion to convince me otherwise.”

  Anna fought the urge to do more than glance at the couple. Their intimacy now quite apparent, Anna forced herself to walk a bit farther away, but not before she heard Freman respond.

  “Is that so, Leah? Why! I find that most honorable!”

  The combination of her words and his response, coupled with his previous statement about the home being, for some, where the heart is, cut straight through her. Her memory flashed back eight years prior, to the long discussions Lydia had with her regarding Freman’s position being too precarious for her to consider marriage at such a young age as well as her father’s insistence that not one of his daughters would marry a penniless Whittmore, regardless of whether or not he was in good standing with the Amish community.

  Her hands shook and her cheeks turned red, embarrassed at her imprudent decision to have permitted herself to be persuaded to follow their counsel, not paying any mind to how much she had disagreed with it. She had used him ill, abandoning a man she cared about despite the understanding that they would wed. Oh, she thought, making a fist with her hands so that no one could notice her reaction, if only I had shown greater fortitude. . .

  “It’s getting cold!” Mary’s complaint broke Anna’s concentration, for which she was, actually, most thankful. “And my hem is wet!” She glanced at the sky. “And there’s a dark cloud rolling in from the east! Why, this was a horrible idea. I’ll be sick again before the morning sun rises!”

  “It’s not going to rain,” Cris reassured her. As if to emphasize his statement, he gestured toward the sunset. “Just enjoy the beautiful colors for a moment, Mary. That is why we all went walking, ja?”

  Ignoring his words, she continued to fuss. “I’m not prepared for rain! I haven’t brought an umbrella!” With pursed lips and creases in her brow, she turned to face her husband. “Cris,” she proclaimed in front of everyone, “I would like to return home immediately.”

  He sighed. “I do believe you know the way.”

  Anna thought she saw Hannah snicker at the rebuke from her brother to his wife.

  Mary found it less than humorous. “I would think that you would take my arm and help me. That incline . . . ” She gestured over her shoulder. “Why, I could slip and fall again!”

  Without further argument, Cris took ahold of her elbow and guided her back down the trodden path that their shoes had made on the trek to the top. Hannah seemed content to stay, but a fierce look from Leah quickly convinced her otherwise.

  “Come, Anna,” Hannah said, her tone cheery despite realizing that Freman’s attention focused on her sister and not herself. “Let’s go down together. We can help each other!” Without waiting, however, Hannah started down the hill, her steps quick and sure in complete opposition to Mary, who, even with Cris’s help, struggled with each move she attempted.

  Realizing that Leah wanted time to walk down alone with Freman, Anna quietly proceeded down the
slope. While her distance from the couple was great, the breeze carried their voices, and she could not help but overhear their discussion as they slowly meandered down the hill behind her, obviously not in any hurry to reach the bottom.

  “She’s good-natured in many ways, that Mary,” Leah said, the intonation of her voice indicating that there was more to her statement than a compliment. “Her self-regard, however, does vex me at times.” She sighed. “How we so often wish that Anna had accepted Cris’s offer! She’s much more suitable to our family.”

  Freman seemed taken aback. “Anna refused him? When did this happen?”

  “Oh, I’m not quite certain. Mayhaps a year before he married Anna.” Leah laughed nervously, clearly put off by his interest in Anna. “Maem and Daed were disappointed. Maem blames that Lydia Rothberger. She has such a hold over the family and apparently felt that Cris didn’t suit, being that he’s not as principled as Anna.” Another laugh. “She is rather well-tempered and irreproachable in nature.”

  Freman hesitated before he said a soft, “Indeed.”

  Anna heard no more.

  At the bottom of the hill, just a quarter mile from the farm, Cris and Mary stood beside an open-top buggy, conversing with the occupants who, in the dim gray of evening, Anna could not quite identify. As she approached, however, she heard a joyful Sara Coblentz call out her name.

  “Such a refreshing night,” Sara said as she reached down to take Anna’s hand in greeting. Her eyes flickered over the group’s heads. “Why, there’s my own bruder! What are all of you young people doing?”

  Anna did not respond, presuming the question was intended for Hannah or Leah, who approached them from the meadow beneath the hill with Freman following just a few paces behind.

  With her mood much improved, Mary took it upon herself to answer. “We went walking to see the sunset over the hill.”

  Sara nodded her head, and with a half-turn toward her husband, said, “We saw the gorgeous colors in the sky, didn’t we, George?”

  “Ja, sure did.”

  Freman approached the side of the buggy, glancing at Anna as he passed her. The look could have gone unnoticed but for what happened next. He leaned over and mumbled something to his sister before asking George about his family. No sooner had George finished catching everyone up-to-date with his ailing sister than Sara moved over in the buggy and patted the seat next to her.

  “Kum, Anna,” she said. “You look peaked. Come ride with us.”

  The request startled Anna. While she was fatigued, especially since she had been up early that morning, she felt discomfort with the attention. “Nee, it’s just a half-mile, but danke.”

  “I insist,” Sara said, a smile on her face as she, once again, touched the empty space beside her.

  To Anna’s surprise, Freman reached for her arm, his touch sending a shiver throughout her body. If the close proximity in which he stood to her didn’t unsettle her, the physical contact with him did. He guided her toward the carriage. Speechless, Anna followed. Truly, she had no choice. Wordlessly, he placed his hand out, gesturing toward the buggy, quietly insisting that she oblige Sara’s request.

  Stunned, Anna stared at him as she settled into the carriage. His perception that she had been tired from the walk and his resolution to tend to her needs left her wordless. How was it possible that, despite his apparent resentment and disdain on account of the pain she caused him so long ago, he still remained sensitive to her unspoken needs?

  She stared at him as George clicked his tongue for the horse to start trotting down the remainder of the lane toward the farm. He, however, did not look after her, for he had already returned his attention to Leah and Hannah. No one seemed to think twice of Freman’s gesture; however, Anna knew that it spoke of a remaining sentiment that, while lost to another now, still indicated a degree of unstated friendship and spoke highly of his fine character.

  “I do believe,” Sara said to her husband, obviously unaware of Anna’s thoughts, “that we shall have a wedding soon, ja?”

  “You women! Always trying to guess what’s on a man’s mind.” George laughed at the expression on his wife’s face. “It’s a wonder anything is left to privacy at all!”

  “George!”

  Sobering, he reached over and covered her hand with his, the teasing clearly over. “Although I do admit that he does seem intent to call on one of those Musser girls.”

  Unable to mask her dismay, Anna stared straight ahead at the house as the buggy approached it. While Freman’s interest in the two sisters, particularly Leah, was more than apparent to her, Anna couldn’t help but feel a tightness in her chest when George spoke his opinion. Those words! So direct and candid. A truth spoken was more bitter than a truth suspected.

  Before George turned down the driveway, Anna tried to change the subject. She noticed a light from the kitchen glowing through the front window. She pointed toward it and changed the subject. “It’s later than I thought if the lamp was lit. I do hope that little Cris and Walter didn’t give Salome any troubles,” she managed to say, eager to disembark from the carriage.

  After thanking them for their kindness, she quickly retreated into the house to relieve Salome. She was grateful that, being tired herself, the older woman did not stay to visit. Instead, she bid Anna good night, obviously eager to return to her own home. For Anna, it was a relief to shut the door and lean against it, catching her breath from the conflicting emotions that raced through her.

  Had he returned to Charm already married and with kinner, surely she could have borne that in much grander style, mayhaps even joy! But to watch the unfolding of a courtship right under her nose? It was more than she could bear, although bear it she had to for there was no alternative. Choices had been made, even if she now recognized the coercion and ugly prejudice from both Lydia and her daed. She did not blame them; nee, she only blamed herself. After all, she had lacked the fortitude to stand up to them or to suggest to Freman that they should wait patiently until he had established himself and proven his viability as a carpenter. But not knowing how to navigate the stormy waters between two men she cared so much about, father and fiancé, she had thought it better to follow her father’s wishes. The hurt that she had felt at her breakup with Freman was almost as great as the hurt from the idea of having to attend his wedding to Leah Musser.

  She heard voices approaching, the high-pitched shrill sound of Mary’s words mercifully countered by the soft, gentle baritone of Freman’s voice. When Anna heard the group nearing the house, she suspected that they would sit inside to visit. Alarmed, she hurried toward the stairs.

  The comfort of her small room beckoned her, its darkness a shield from the pain that she felt in her heart. Despite knowing that it was not quite adequate, she also knew that it was the only safe harbor for the emotional storm that brewed inside of her.

  Chapter Seven

  LANCASTER?”

  Anna wasn’t certain if she had correctly heard Leah and Hannah. It was Monday morning and they had just burst into Mary’s kitchen, laughing with glowing faces. They both talked at once as they practically jumped up and down, looking more like schoolchildren than young women of eighteen and twenty. Anna laughed at their jubilation, especially when little Cris followed their example, b
ouncing on his feet and knocking into Walter. When the younger boy fell to the floor, Anna was quick to pick him up and make him giggle before he could think of complaining.

  “Heavens to Betsy!” Mary scowled. “Such a ruckus! And what an example you are setting for Cris and Walter!”

  No one listened as Leah took a hold of Cris’s hands and spun around, both laughing. Walter, quite content to sit on Anna’s lap, clapped his hands. Hannah sat down at the table, a big smile on her face as she watched her older sister.

  “If you happen to think about calming down,” Mary said, “mayhaps you’ll tell us what brought on this childish display. What is this about Lancaster I hear?”

  “Freman is headed there to visit his cousin,” Leah gushed, her eyes glancing in Hannah’s direction at the mention of Freman, a look of advantage in her eyes. “His cousin, Benjamin Esh, suffered a great loss recently, and Freman intends to visit him before the weather changes.”

  “A loss?” Anna asked.

  “Ja, he intended to get married this November, but his girl . . . ” Leah’s voice trailed away.

  “Oh, mercy!” Anna knew what remained unsaid. Whether it was a farming accident, illness, or collision on the road, young people were not immune to the tragedies of life. “How sad.”

  Mary stared at Leah in disbelief. “I fail to see what is so joyous about that, Leah!”

  “It happened in May,” Leah said, as if that should, somehow, make the situation less painful for Benjamin. “Anyway, we are going with him!”