by L. J. Stock
Her logic made perfect sense to me. I knew instinctively that I would love any child I bore because the child would be mine. Loving my partner, however – would that still work if there wasn't a connection between us? The answer was, I didn't know. It was the very reason I had decided to make an amendment of my own.
“That's why I am going to promise to try, Alexa. If I fall in love with him, I know it will work. If I don't… I will raise that question myself. I just can't discount him without giving the possibility of a relationship an opportunity to blossom.”
Alexa snorted and shook her head, turning me to face her. The moment our eyes met, she dropped her hands and placed them on her hips.
“You will never fall in love with this guy, Cass.”
“You don't know him. He could be the man of my dreams for all we know.”
“It doesn't matter if he is at this point,” she said, her tone gentler. “Don't you get it? You feel cornered. You feel as though you have to do this. You already resent him. It's not going to work out because, subconsciously, you've already made up your mind.”
“I have to try.”
“It's a waste of your time.”
I let out all the air from my lungs and leaned against the door of the closet I'd put the things inside of. Looking down at my feet, I tried to find the words to explain it. In my heart, I knew she was absolutely right. I was in love with someone else and this had disaster written all over it, but my head and sense of duty were overriding all of that. My pride was standing up and telling me to do the right thing here, even if I wasn't exactly sure what that was anymore.
“I understand that.”
“But…?”
“But I made a promise, and when I think of saying no, all I think about is that hollow village and the heart of it being ripped out by men who have no conscience.”
Alexa shook her head and paced a couple of times before stopping to stare at me, the sadness in her eyes matching mine. “Damon has a lot to answer for.”
“It wasn't Damon. He doesn't even know where I went today. Alec was the one that took me.”
“Of course he was. He has some warped sense of duty. It makes perfect sense.”
“His intentions were good.”
“Sure they were. Let’s show the princess what will continue to happen if she goes about the conventional way of finding love. How is that fair?”
I pulled on my cleaner boots and shrugged. It wasn't fair, not even a little bit, but if there was one thing I'd learned about life the hard way, it was that it just wasn't fair. We played the hands we were dealt, and we all made sacrifices. I had made some in the past, and I was almost certain this wouldn't be the last one.
“Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?”
I gave her an apologetic look, unable, once again, to answer verbally due to the large lump in my throat.
“Then remember that I’m here if you need help to get out of it. You don't have to be the martyr here, but I understand why you’re doing it.”
After my nod in response, Alexa wrapped her arm around my waist. Her sigh told me she wasn't happy but she was resigned to letting me make my own mistakes. I really didn't realize how much I'd wanted her to talk me out of it until she let me have my own way. Though I was hesitant to admit it, there was still a part of me that was holding onto the dream of living my life and loving the person I wanted to the way I wanted to.
Getting To Know You
It took me another two days to build up the courage to talk to my father and agree to meet with the baron. Whether it was by divine intervention or subconsciously, I found myself with a busy schedule after the agreement to meet with him again, so it was another two weeks before the first meeting finally came about, and I saw the change immediately.
That morning, it was Rasmus waiting for me when I left my room to take my daily run. I saw Damon briefly during training, but he had to leave immediately after to run an errand for Alec, which he seemed perplexed about.
By the time dinner rolled around, I was a mess, and poor Rasmus was bearing the brunt of my rolling mood changes. I could see he was concerned about my constant fidgeting. Our usual jovial banter had been replaced by me snapping at everything he said, and I was a constant walking sigh as we headed to the king’s wing for dinner.
“You're edgy today. Does this have something to do with your guest?”
“How did you–?”
Rasmus put up his hand and smiled. “There's no gossip. Alec told me when he briefed me and made sure I kept it to myself. The guy is good at what he does, and I know when to keep my mouth shut. I'm just worried about you.”
Tugging on the layers of skirts, I practically growled out my response. “I'd be better if I wasn't dressed like this. I feel like I've been put on display.”
“You look beautiful, Cass.”
I rolled my eyes, even though his compliment made me smile. Rasmus and I had become friends over the course of my time in the palace. There was nothing more than friendship so I knew when he offered a compliment, he meant it. Unfortunately, I didn't want to look gorgeous while I felt like a brood mare being paraded in front of a buyer.
“Thanks.”
Rasmus nodded and fell into his formal position as we entered the king's wing. I knew there would be no more casual conversation from this point on, even though he looked like he had plenty to say.
The closer we got to the king's living quarters, the more I felt as though this wasn't really my life. Having had a lot of spare time on my hands in the hospital, I'd read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies, but not even they had this level of surrealism. Even with their fabricated happy endings and struggles to get there, they always got to choose the person they loved, no matter what they went through. I guess they didn't have the world and its dimensions’ survival on their shoulders. Lucky them!
“Milady?” Rasmus prodded gently as I stopped in front of the door and started to pace. I knew I should respond, but I was afraid he'd take it as a sign I'd be okay, and I wasn't. I was far from it, in fact. “Princess?”
I continued pacing, going through a thousand scenarios in my head. What would happen if I bolted? Just took off sprinting in the direction I'd come from and didn’t look back? I already knew the answer to that, though, didn't I? The image of Felgar came to mind and I forced my brain to change the scene as guilt tore through me. Any choice I made that didn't involve meeting the baron seemed to conjure this image. It was more dramatic the further I got from going through with this plan. In a moment of resenting myself and the situation, I turned on my heel and burst through the large double doors to the royal dining room and forced my feet forward, carrying myself inside so I couldn’t change my mind again.
Only one end of the huge table had been set up for a meal, the tall candles and floral arrangements placed like a barrier blocking the rest of the surface from view. There were the usual decorative pieces in the center, and three chairs – my father’s at the head, and one on either side of him.
“Here she is. Baron Sideris, please welcome my daughter, Cassandra. Cassandra, this is Baron Chiron Sideris.”
The baron stepped forward from the fireplace, his dark hair framing his very regal looking facial features. There was no doubt in my mind that this man had been born into his station. His shoulders held an arrogance that only the comfort of his position in life could have given them. He carried himself with posture and poise. It was only his chocolate eyes, which held a glint of mischief that I related to in any form or fashion.
He wasn’t necessarily bad looking as far as men went. Strip away all the pomp and he would have been a decent looking guy. Stick him in jeans and a leather jacket and he might have been considered hot. All I saw, however, was an opportunistic bottom feeder, who was more than willing to use this foothold to get in the king’s good graces and become someone of import in the court.
That warm fuzzy feeling really made a girl want to fight for a relationship.
�
��My pleasure, I assure you,” he said, bending at the waist and dropping his thin lips to the back of my hand. My father had already explained that once I was princess, I would be receiving a ring of the monarchy, and the nobles would be kissing that from then on. As disturbing a thought as that was, it was better than the odd sensation left on the back of my hand after a sloppy kiss like this one.
“Thank you, Baron. It's a pleasure to meet you, also,” I lied, sweeping my arms behind me and wiping the back of my hand on the skirts surreptitiously. It was probably rude, but no one but Rasmus noticed. Everyone else seemed more interested in the baron’s next move, not mine.
Baron Sideris smiled as his eyes ran up over my form hidden in the folds of the dress. They lingered on my cleavage briefly before flicking to my father to see if he’d been caught. He hadn’t. Standing up straight to attention, he moved quickly, holding out my chair for me as my father took his seat at the head of the table. As I had been taught, I waited for him to be comfortable before situating myself and nodding my thanks to the baron.
The staff waited for the king to drop his linen napkin into his lap before serving the first course in silence. I could feel the baron's eyes on me, but moved my glance to my lap where my hands were balled against my thighs in a bid for strength. The baron gave me the creeps with the intensity of his stare, and averting my gaze was the only thing stopping me from snapping at him for his scrutiny.
A glance to the side and I could see that Rasmus seemed to have the same problem I was having. Of course, he was blending in with Alec and the background, but I always knew where to find him, and I didn't miss his fists balled at his sides.
“Your father says that you grew up in the other dimension, Cassandra.”
“That's right. I did.” I caught my father’s glance at my blasé tone and I amended it immediately. I may not have been enthralled with the baron, but that didn't mean I wanted to disappoint the king. “I wasn't aware this dimension existed until a couple of months ago, I'm afraid. It's taken me quite a while to get used to the customs here.”
The baron missed the connotations in my statement, but the other three men in the room hadn’t. Alec had the good sense to cast his eyes down at his feet, my father looked like he was in pain, and Rasmus… well he was trying his hardest not to show his amusement at my derision.
“You seem to be doing well, Your Highness. May I also say you look stunning in our fashions.”
Shifting in my seat, I gave the man a polite smile of thanks before moving back to my food. Every bite seemed to land hard in my empty stomach. There was nothing I could do to make myself taste the food as I chewed it, either. I was on autopilot again. I had promised to try, but there really wasn't much I could do to force myself to be interested in the mindless drivel the man opposite me was giving out. I smiled and nodded when I thought it was appropriate to do so. I answered questions when I could. No matter how hard I tried, however, my body was there, but my mind and soul were far from the room.
It was only when I realized how distant I was that I came to the conclusion that I needed to pull my head out of the sand. I wasn't doing the best I could to make this work at all. The more I let my mind wander, the less time I would give the man in front of me and that wasn't fair. I wasn't being impartial.
“– your music fascinates me, however.”
Whether it was coincidence or divine intervention, I realized that he had ended on a topic I was more than happy to discuss. Music was something I could talk about endlessly, as it had been my passion and salvation since the war in my head had started all those years ago. I felt a genuine smile curl my lips as I relaxed as much as the dress would allow.
“You enjoy the music?” I asked quietly. “It's actually one of my passions. I play the guitar.”
“You will have to educate me in some of your favorites. It's a rare treat when I get to hear music from your dimension.”
“I'd be happy to share it with you. There are some things here that are still quite new to me, Baron.”
“Would you be offended if I asked for an example, Your Highness?”
I laughed genuinely for the first time since I'd entered the room. “Not at all. It's a long list, I'm afraid. I think the first is transport. I’m referring to conventional means of course. I can't abide the carriages here. I tend to get out feeling as though I'm a marble in a pinball machine.”
The baron looked at me quizzically.
“I apologize. That's a metaphor from my dimension I suppose.” I thought about how to explain it better. “I end up feeling like a rug that has been beaten threadbare.”
The baron laughed in understanding. “Yes, Milady. The roads are not that well developed. Many of the people living on the lands don't have carriages, so there are no paths trod for them. Do you ride?”
“Horses? Not yet.” I smiled across the table. “I work with them in the other dimension, but I've never been on the back of one. I think my guardians are worried I'll break something.”
“You know I breed horses as a hobby, Milady. It was my father’s intention that the horses keep me out of trouble but I had a propensity for it. I have some of the finest horses in the kingdom.”
“That's quite a statement to make, Baron.” My father laughed. “Perhaps on these shores you have the title, but I have heard of great breeders on some of the other enclaves of our Great Kingdom.”
“Your Highness, I would be remiss to assume that I am the best in the entirety of the Kingdom. I merely meant in this large expanse of your immediate kingdom,” he amended with a crowd-pleasing smile aimed at my father and then at me. I held my tongue for a second before I had to ask if he was referring to what was known as the Americas in my home dimension. Fortunately, my father seemed to see the question long before I had to voice it.
“The baron is referring to the large expanse of land that is all connected.”
One day I would have to sit down and look at a map. The two worlds were laid out the same, but the regions and borders were completely different. There were no continents and countries; it was all part of the same kingdom that was broken up into provinces and enclaves. There were ambassadors for the king in other places. Like what was Europe in my world, was governed and policed by the king's cousin. His cousin had direct control, but still reported to the king who ruled it. I still wasn't sure of the name of the area he governed, but I knew I would learn eventually.
“Right,” I mumbled, looking back down at my plate and feeling like an idiot.
“It is confusing, Milady, even to those of us who grew up here. I'm sure your understanding of your dimension is far superior to ours. I only learned it was several kingdoms a couple of years ago.”
“You're appeasing me, Baron.”
The man opposite me feigned being wounded for all of ten seconds before resignation set in. I could almost see the click in his brain as he realized I wasn't some vapid noble woman who he could charm his way past. It was one point in his favor that he realized it quickly. Had he continued to speak down to me like I was a child, he'd have been in for a rude awakening.
“Yes, Milady, but in all honestly, though I know most of your dimension’s borders, they still make no sense to me.”
I couldn't help but laugh as he smiled at me earnestly. “I'm sure all those leaders who fought wars over those borders would be thrilled to hear how useless they are.”
Baron Sideris grinned at me, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Tell me they make sense to you, Milady.”
“Point to you, they don't. Not one iota.”
The baron sat back in his chair, looking triumphant at my admission.
“But then I never claimed it made sense, just that the men who fought wars over it cared, so it obviously made some kind of sense to them.”
“The two of you are talking in circles.” The king laughed merrily, shaking his head and leaning away from the table as the staff pulled the plate from in front of him.
“My apologies, Sire.”
&
nbsp; My father waved off the apology and leaned forward with a smile. His pride shone through as he turned his gaze to me, and where I'd been so eager to seek his approval beforehand, all I felt in that moment was hollow. He frowned as his eyes met mine, and while I wasn't sure what he saw in my glance, I knew it wasn't happiness. No matter how much I was trying.
“I think I've overindulged in the king's hospitality,” the baron said, completely oblivious to the moment. “Would you like to take a walk in the gardens with me, Princess?”
I looked to my father who wore a blank expression. He was not going to advise me to do anything. He wanted me to make my own mind up, which was all well and good. Unfortunately, it was the look from the man behind him that made up my mind. The king may not have wanted to sway my decision, but Alec had no problem in telling me what he thought I should do.
“I would enjoy that. Thank you, Baron Sideris.”
Before I could push my seat back, he was behind me, pulling it out and offering his arm for me to take. With my eyes firmly on the ground, I rose and curtsied to my father before heading toward the huge doors that led out into the king's gardens. I felt Rasmus fall in behind me as I started walking, and the baron, though stroking the back of my hand, kept his council, for a little while at least.
“You are not committed to this union, are you, Cassandra?” he asked gently. There was no accusation or disappointment in his tone, just curiosity. I looked up and met his eyes before moving my own to the ground ahead of me.
“Things are just done a little differently where I come from, Baron.”
“You're free to choose who you would like to marry?”
“Pretty much. I understand things are done this way for a reason, but–”
“If breeding and station are a reason, then yes, I’m sure it is.” The baron laughed, patting my hand where it rested on his forearm. There was no patronizing tone in his statement. It seemed to be what he genuinely believed. Chewing the inside of my lip, I wondered whether he realized the reason he and I were being brought together. If he really believed that it was for position and breeding, his agreement seemed even stranger to me. Then again, a baron who had a chance to be married to a queen made his commitment much more understandable. It also made him materialistic. It was probably best not to linger on that thought for too long.
