by Mikki Sadil
I put on clean jeans and a T-shirt and then folded my new clothes and put them in my suitcase. At least I hadn’t gotten them soiled when I got sick…or even while I was eating, which was a first.
I went into the kitchen and found that Dad had laid out a nice breakfast. There was orange juice and bowls of sliced strawberries and brown sugar. He hadn’t forgotten what I liked on my oatmeal. I was going to give him a hug, but before I could he said, “AJ, I hope you’re feeling better this morning.” His voice was cold, and my heart sank.
“I’m fine. I just ate too much last night. It was all so new and…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to screw up your evening.”
Dad started to eat without waiting for me to sit down. “It wasn’t ‘my’ evening, it was ‘our’ evening. The only one we’ll have for a while. If you weren’t very hungry, then you shouldn’t have eaten so much. You could have just taken a taste of the early servings, you know, and kept your appetite for the main entrée. You’re…”
“Dad, I’m sorry, honest I am. But I’ve never had all those extra things before, and I thought you’d get mad if I didn’t eat everything. You didn’t say I didn’t have to eat all of it.”
“You’re not a child, as you’re so fond of reminding me. You should have known better. It was very embarrassing to have you run out of the room that way. Plus, you practically ignored Katherine. She called this morning, by the way. She wanted to know how you were feeling. She really seems to like you, AJ, which is a little surprising considering everything that happened last night.”
I didn’t know what to say. I looked down at my plate and felt hot tears prickling my eyes. How could things between us change so quickly? Where was the father who treated me like I was his little princess, who hugged me and promised that everything was going to be just fine with my life, and all my problems would go away? I didn’t know what to think, because the father who had met me at the airport Friday night and the father who sat at the breakfast table this morning were like two different people.
We finished breakfast in a strained silence. I rinsed off the dishes to put in the dishwasher and turned to go to my room. Dad stood up. “Honey, we need to talk, come on into the living room.”
Well, at least he called me ‘honey’. That was a step in the right direction. It didn’t last long.
“AJ, we spent Friday night and yesterday talking about you and your problems. Now we’re going to talk about mine. I was very disappointed in you last night. First, for eating so much that you got sick, and then for the way you treated Katherine.”
I tried to say something, but Dad flicked his hand at me and went on. “We are going to be married as soon as the divorce is final, and I expect you to show her respect and kindness. Katherine doesn’t want to take your mother’s place, but she is a wonderful woman and deserves to be treated as such. I don’t want teenage angst and jealousy in my home, and in fact, I won’t stand for it, not from you, your brother, or your sisters. I hope I make myself clear.”
Oh yeah, he was very clear. It was obvious that now Katherine was the most important person in his life and my feelings didn’t matter much. Apparently, anything Andrew and the twins might think or feel was of no importance, either. It seemed so final that I didn’t know if I could handle the hurt I was feeling.
Before I could answer, the front door opened and Katherine walked in. She was dressed in jeans and a checked shirt, her black hair falling in waves around her shoulders. Gee, she just walked in like she belonged there. Maybe she did, or at least, she would in a few months.
“Hi, you two! AJ, I’m glad to see you look like you’re over the effects of last night.”
I smiled faintly. “Yeah, Katherine, I’m okay now.” I didn’t know what else to say, and besides, she probably didn’t come to see me, anyway. Then she surprised me.
“Michael, I know that AJ is leaving this afternoon, but if it’s okay with you, I’d like to spend some time with her now. That is, AJ, if you don’t object to going for a ride with me.”
Since my dad was already mad at me for last night, I could hardly say no, could I?
We got into her sports car, and she put the top down. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve got a surprise for you. We’ll be there in a few minutes.” She was smiling like she had a mysterious secret or something. I wondered if she expected me to ask what the surprise was, but I didn’t. The silence between us was long and uncomfortable.
It seemed to take forever before we were out of the city and into the foothills. We passed several ranches before she pulled into a long drive way that wound around a large, rambling house and ended at an expensive-looking barn. Standing at a hitching rail, already saddled, were two very tall Thoroughbreds.
She pulled the car up close to the barn. “Hop out. We’re going for a ride.”
I got out slowly and looked around. This was a ranch, but certainly nothing like we’d ever had. Everywhere I looked there were Thoroughbreds grazing out in green pastures, surrounded by heavy white fencing with red, yellow, and white roses climbing along the rails. It must take a fortune to run a place this size, with all these horses. I could hear excited neighing coming from the barn, so there were more horses in there, too.
Katherine waved her arm around. “AJ, this is where I grew up. My family has always had Thoroughbreds, so I’ve been involved with horses all my life, just like you have. Come on, mount up and let’s go for a gallop.”
Twenty minutes later, Katherine and I pulled the horses into a walk. They were sweating and so was I. It was a typical fall day in San Francisco, misty gray and cool, but we’d been riding hard, without talking, and I was tired. Controlling a huge Thoroughbred took a lot more strength than my little Quarter Horse mare. Katherine looked sideways at me.
“You know, I am sorry about last night. Your father and I weren’t thinking when we talked about the dinner. We did discuss having dinner at home, but Michael wanted to make it a special evening for you. He forgot you’re not an adult and you are not used to expensive restaurants.” She paused, and for a minute I felt insulted. Did she mean my mother didn’t take us kids to expensive restaurants, or that I didn’t know how to behave in one? She went on before I could ask her what she meant.
“Look, I don’t know much about kids. I’ve never had any of my own. I was married while I was still in law school, but it only lasted a couple of years, and children were not in the picture. So I need your help in knowing how to treat you. I’d like for you to think of me as a friend. Do you think you can do that?”
It was a long speech, and Katherine must have been nervous, because she was talking fast. It was more than I could take in right then, except for the ‘friend’ part. You had to get to know someone before you could be friends, and I didn’t know Katherine. Right now, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. My dad wasn’t the same when she was around, and what was more important…being friends with her or having my dad the way he always used to be?
I must have been silent longer than I thought, because she pulled her horse to a stop and said quietly, “This is really too much for you right now, isn’t it, AJ? I keep forgetting you’re just a child. I didn’t mean to burden you with a life story. But you are going home in a few hours and you won’t be back for a while. I didn’t want you to leave with a bad impression of me.”
Just a child? Well, that alone would give me a ‘bad’ impression of her. Obviously she really didn’t know anything about kids. Still, I had to ask her one question.
“Katherine, since you didn’t have kids the first time, does that mean that you and Dad will have a baby?” I couldn’t imagine what having a baby half-brother or sister would be like.
She laughed, but it sounded kind of sad. “No, we’re not going to have a baby. I’m thirty-eight, and that’s a little old to be having a first child. Your dad and I are both established in our careers, and having a baby wouldn’t fit into our lifestyle. Besides, you and your brother and sisters will be coming to visit and that will make up for not havin
g children together.”
Her brows drew together in a slight frown. “I mean, I hope you and your brother and sisters will come to visit us. I really want to get to know all of you.” She hesitated a moment. “I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of this. I don’t know what to say to you, AJ. I had hoped that you would go home with some good feelings about me, but I don’t think that is happening. Maybe we should ride on back to the ranch.”
I didn’t know what to think of her. She was pretty, she had been nice to me last night when I got sick, and she loved horses. But…I didn’t think I liked her. Or maybe, I didn’t trust her. She had come between my mom and my dad. No matter how much Dad said that wasn’t true, I didn’t believe it. If Katherine had not been around, maybe Mom and Dad would still be together.
Oh come off it, said that little voice. If things were good between Mom and Dad, not even Katherine could have pried Dad away. Dad just wanted an excuse to leave.
Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.
That’s the problem, the voice said, you don’t want to hear the truth.
The truth is, she’s coming between me and Dad, too. You can’t argue about that. The little voice was silent.
I didn’t have time to struggle with my inner voice. Katherine had already started riding off, and I didn’t want to get lost. Back at the ranch, I loosened the saddle on my horse and turned him over to a waiting groom. Must be nice to have someone else walk out your horse after a ride and brush him down. Katherine and Celine. Aaghh!
We didn’t talk much on the way back to Dad’s apartment. Every once in a while Katherine would point out some landmark to me, as though I’d never been in San Francisco before. I already knew them all, and she should have known that.
When we pulled up to the curb in front of Dad’s, Katherine didn’t get out. She looked over at me. “I enjoyed our ride, AJ. Any time you come here you will be able to ride if you want to.”
“Okay.” I had another question that I had to ask.
“Um, when you and Dad get married, where are you going to live? Are you going to move here?”
She smiled. “No, I’m not. Michael is going to move out to the ranch. I inherited it from my father, and I can’t imagine living any place else. The only time I haven’t lived here was when I was in college. Why do you ask? Don’t you want to come out there to see your dad?”
I shrugged. “It just seems different. I mean, for Dad to move in with you. I thought usually the woman moves in with the man when they get married. Or maybe they get a whole new place together.”
Katherine looked at me for a minute as if she were trying to think of something to say. “I could never live any other place. The house is perfect for us and for when you and your brother and sisters come to visit. Anyway, a lot of things about this marriage are different. I think we all have some adjusting to do, including you and your siblings.”
My siblings? That made me mad. She knew ‘my siblings’ names, but she had never used them. Well, maybe that was part of her ‘adjusting’, too, but if she was going to be our stepmother, it seemed like she could say “Andrew and Sarah and Suzanne” just once. I opened the door and slid out of the seat. My voice was cool. “Thanks for the ride.” I slammed the door harder than I had to and ran up the steps to the front door. I didn’t say goodbye and I didn’t look back.
Dad looked up from the Sunday paper when I stomped into the living room.
“Did you and Katherine have a nice horseback ride?”
I stopped abruptly. “Oh… I didn’t know this was something you guys planned for me, like the dinner last night.”
Dad sighed loudly and looked irritated. “AJ, nothing was ‘planned’ except for the dinner, which I’m very sorry about now. Katherine called this morning before you woke up and asked if she could take you on a ride today. It was something she wanted to do. There isn’t any big conspiracy like you seem to think, young lady.”
I wanted to go home. Nothing had turned out like I thought it would. I was still trying to figure out what was going on with Dad and Celine. It was obvious that Dad had something to do with sending her parents to prison, so why wouldn’t he tell me about it? Especially since this was probably why she hated me so much. Yet, there was more to this story than just the trial. I knew it…I don’t know how, but I knew there was more. Only right now, I sure wasn’t in the mood for a mystery on top of all the other crises in my life.
Then, there was Katherine. As far as I was concerned, she had ruined my weekend with my dad. After all, if it weren’t for her, there wouldn’t have been any ‘nice’ dinner…which I threw up…no horseback ride, and Dad and I would have spent the whole weekend together. The new clothes didn’t make up for anything. It was a bust, and I couldn’t wait to get on that airplane.
* * * *
First Class wasn’t nearly as exciting coming home. Katherine had even ruined that for me, because I couldn’t stop thinking about how Dad changed when she was around. When Mom met me at the Denver airport, I was never so glad to see anyone in my life. As soon as we got in the car, she asked, “Honey, did you have a good time? What did you do? Did you and Dad go to see all your old haunts in San Francisco?”
“I guess so. We spent yesterday at Ghirardelli Square.” I was tired. My eyes felt droopy, and I wanted to ignore all the thoughts swirling around in my mind and go to sleep. I yawned and laid my head against the back of the seat.
But Mom wasn’t going to let me off that easy. “Well, that sounds like fun. What about the rest of the time?”
Oh shoot. Might as well get it over with. “Mom, have you ever heard of a restaurant called Pietro’s? It’s a real fancy dress-up place. Dad took me there for dinner Saturday night. I didn’t have any dressy clothes, so he took me shopping at Macy’s and bought me a very expensive outfit. Katherine was at the restaurant, too.”
“Oh.” Mom was deliberately casual. “Well, did you like her? What does she look like?”
“She’s very pretty, very brunette, and very rich. She has a ranch and she took me riding today. The dinner was a disaster and I threw up in the restroom. Dad’s mad at me, Katherine’s mad at me, and I don’t even care. Can we talk about this later? I’m really tired.” I curled myself into as much of a ball as the seatbelt would allow and closed my eyes. Mom didn’t say another word to me, and I fell asleep.
Chapter Seventeen
Amberley
The next morning Mom came in and sat down on my bed. “AJ, wake up. Come on, honey, wake up. I have to talk to you before school.”
I opened my eyes but I could only see half of Mom. My eyes felt like slits full of sand. I tried to turn over, but Mom practically yelled in my ear, “AJ, wake up. I have to talk to you, now!”
That was enough to wake up a dead person. I sat up and yawned. I didn’t even remember getting home and into bed the night before. Suddenly, I realized that Mom’s face was sad and her eyes were full of tears.
“Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“Honey, I’m so sorry. Amberley is in the hospital. She’s very ill. There was nothing you could do last night, so I didn’t tell you. I’ve talked to Conrad and he knows that you will be going to the hospital this morning instead of to school. Come on, get dressed, and I’ll drive you.”
I hate hospitals. I hate that antiseptic smell that tries to cover up the odor of blood and sickness but never succeeds. I tiptoed into Amberley’s room and stopped in shock. She was so pale she seemed to fade into the white sheet covering her. The only color in the whole room was her dark hair, spread out on the pillow. She had a tube attached to her throat at one end and to a large machine at the other. It pumped in and out, in and out, and made a swishing noise that made me jump. She was hooked up to a blood pressure cuff and another machine that had thin green lines going up and down in a funny, uneven pattern. Mom told me later that it was a heart monitor…in case her heart stopped, it would give a loud buzz and the nurses would come running. Oh great, that was reassuring. Aaagh
.
Her grandmother was sitting in a soft chair under a large window. The sunlight streamed in across the floor in an uneven pattern, but it didn’t touch the sterile hospital bed. Mrs. Mehta looked up while I was standing in the doorway and motioned for me to come in. I crossed over to her chair, and she held out her hand.
“AJ, I’m so glad you came. I talked to your mother while you were gone. Amberley wanted to see you, but she’s asleep now.”
“Mrs. Mehta, what happened? Why is she hooked up to all those machines?”
“She went into a myasthenia crisis Saturday night. She’s having a very hard time breathing, and her heart rate is slowing down. I don’t…I don’t know if she will come out of this one.” She started to cry soundlessly and held my hand so tight it hurt.
“You mean…you mean she’s going…to…she could…die?” My throat felt like a hand held it in a vise. I could barely get the words out.
Mrs. Mehta nodded and released my hand. “Why don’t you go sit with her awhile? Maybe she will wake up, and she’ll be glad to see you if she does.”
I walked slowly over to the bed and sat down on the straight chair next to it. I clasped her limp hand in mine. I watched the air pump move up and down, forcing air into Amberley’s lungs. I looked at her face, her lashes black against her white cheeks. I’d never noticed how long her lashes were before. Tears crept down my cheeks even though I was trying so hard not to cry. I thought of all the times I had been critical of her awkwardness in cheerleading. I was such a dummy. I wanted her to be my best friend. I wanted time to have fun with her, to teach her to ride. Now that might never happen. I felt my chest tighten and I was suddenly cold all over.
A minute later, her eyes opened, and she smiled. Well, she didn’t exactly smile with her lips, the tube wouldn’t let her, but I could see the smile in her eyes.
“Amberley, I’m so glad to see you!” All right, that was a stupid thing to say. She’s in the hospital, for Pete’s sake.
