by Mikki Sadil
On the twenty-seventh, we found out that Celine’s parents…uh, well, whoever they are…were gone, too. Not only that, they left in the middle of the night. The windows in the house are all boarded up, and even the horses are gone. No one heard anything. How strange is that? How can you pound nails into boards without making noise?
I wish I knew what to do. I was seriously considering breaking my promise to Celine and telling Mom about all the bruises on Celine’s face and arms. Even about the strange room I saw and that horrible woman who scared me. Everyone is gone now, the house is empty, so even if I tell the police, what can they do? Will that help them find Celine? Will it make matters better or worse?
Celine was gone, so that made my promise null and void, right? I couldn’t stand holding it in one more day, so that night, I told Mom what had happened between Celine and me. The next thing I knew, she had me walking into the police station. Oh, great! Was I going to be arrested as an “accessory after the fact,” or something because I had withheld information?
The detective was young and good-looking. Maybe that would work in my favor, and he wouldn’t be as ‘hard-boiled’ as the ones who had come to the school and talked to everybody.
“Hello, I’m Detective Pollard.” He grinned. “Mostly I’m known around here as Polly, in case you need to ask for me again.”
He sat down at the table across from us and smiled at me. Wow! He is cute. I just hope he understands why I didn’t tell anyone before now.
“All right, Miss Devlin, I understand you have some information you want to tell us about. Uh, can I call you AJ?” His dark blue eyes smiled at me.
“It’s okay. Everyone calls me AJ.” I was nervous, and my hands were cold as I twisted them under the table. I had no idea where this was going to go, cute detective or not.
“Fine. Now, suppose you just tell me in your own words what it is you want me to know. Oh, by the way, is it all right with you for me to record what you are saying?” He had placed a small recorder on the table and now pushed the microphone closer to me. “It’s just procedure, and besides, my handwriting is so terrible my captain yells at me when he tries to read my reports.” He grinned at me again.
“Uh, well, sure. I don’t care.” My voice was wobbly, but I cleared my throat and started to talk. I started with the scene in the restroom, the promise I had made to Celine, and finally had the whole story out on the table. Or in the recorder. It’s on record, now. Does that mean it’s a public record, and the whole world…meaning West Haven Middle School…can read it and see what I did?
The detective asked me a lot of questions about what I had said and then he went back to when I first met Celine. The time passed slowly, and I was getting very tired. It seemed that ‘Polly’ wanted my whole life story, at least where Celine was concerned.
Finally, he closed his notebook and turned off the recorder. “AJ, I want you to understand something. This information you have given us is very important, and it may end up being vital to this investigation. You have done a very good thing by coming in, although I know it must have been difficult for you, considering how you had to break a promise you made.”
He looked over at me and smiled. This time, his voice was quiet and gentle. “Look, kids like you take making promises very seriously. I understand that. Would it have helped us if you had come forward at the beginning and told us about Celine? Yeah, it might have. But it’s not too late, the investigation is on-going, and this information will go into the files tonight. It just gives us another avenue to follow up on. So, don’t go beating up on yourself for either breaking a promise, or for not breaking it sooner. You did good, AJ. It’s all in the hands of law enforcement now, so we’ll take care of it from here on. We will find her, and when we do, I will personally let you know. Okay? Is it a deal?”
He held out his hand, and I shook it. But even as I did, I couldn’t help thinking, is this deal going to turn around on me like the last ‘deal’ I made?
Chapter Nineteen
Reflections
Journal, February 2nd
Dear Journal,
It’s so weird with Celine being gone, but Julie said that maybe now things will go back to normal. I don’t think that will happen, because part of being ‘normal’ is having Jaime back for a friend, and I don’t want that. She learned a lot from Celine, and now she’s just like her. She seems to have taken Celine’s place with some of the snobbiest girls in school.
I want to ask Dad more questions about Celine, but I know he won’t tell me anything. I think Dad has removed himself from all of us. He doesn’t call much and he doesn’t want to know anything about us except what we’re doing in school. He won’t just talk to us like he used to. I haven’t seen him since San Francisco, and Andrew and the twins haven’t seen him in almost a year. They don’t seem to care, though. It’s all because of Katherine.
By the next afternoon, all thoughts of Celine were gone, as one more gigantic problem hit me in the face.
Right after school picked up again, after the Christmas break, Cooper started holding my hand when we were walking. Even at school! It always gave me a tingly feeling in my stomach, but it was a good tingly. I still hoped he wouldn’t kiss me…well, part of me hoped that. The other part sort of wondered how much more tingly kissing Cooper would be. Anyway, so far we were just holding hands.
That afternoon, we were holding hands when we got to my house. “Hey, Cooper, do you want to come in for a cup of hot chocolate?” I asked as I opened the mail box.
Before he could answer, I made a funny sound as I looked at the letter in my hand, addressed to me. It was from a Katherine Edwards. Katherine Edwards? Who is tha— OOh, Katherine. My almost-stepmother
“Oh, great,” I muttered. “What can she want?”
Cooper nudged me on the shoulder. “Hey, what about that hot chocolate? Uh-oh, is there something wrong, AJ? You’ve got a funny look on your face.”
“I’m sorry, Cooper. This is a letter from Katherine. You know, that woman who’s going to marry my dad. Look, I’d better go in and read this, and see what she wants. We can have hot chocolate tomorrow, okay?”
His face was troubled. “Okay, if that’s what you want. Are you sure you’re okay? Want me to go in with you while you read the letter? I don’t have to have hot chocolate.” He grinned, but I could tell he was still worried about me.
“No, I’m okay, really. I just think I need to read this now. She’s never written to me before, so something must be up. Maybe she wants to apologize for taking my dad away from me. Fat chance!”
I reached out for his hand and squeezed it hard. “Thanks, Cooper, but I’m okay. I better go in now. See you tomorrow?”
He grinned again, this time with that special light in his eyes he gets sometimes when he looks at me. “Sure. I’ll catch up with you at our usual place. See you then.”
I watched him saunter away and walked slowly into the house. The envelope felt heavy in my hand. By the time I got to my room, I had this yucky feeling in my stomach. Somehow, I knew this was not going to be a nice letter.
AJ…Wow, she couldn’t even say “Dear AJ?” …I’m sure this is not going to be the kind of letter you expected to receive from your stepmother. Wait a minute. You aren’t my stepmother yet. Nevertheless, it is necessary for me to write this. Michael…Excuse me? What happened to ‘your dad’? …has been extremely upset ever since you were up here, and most especially since you wrote that very nasty letter to him. I am quite surprised that you would have the audacity to say the things you did. Michael has always loved you very much, and he has been the best father you could ever have had. Oh, yeah? And how would you know that? For you to accuse him of being ‘different’ towards you when I am around is inexcusable, as that is simply not true. He is a wonderful man, has been a wonderful father to you and your siblings…Terrific. There’s ‘my siblings’ again. I bet you don’t even know their names…and you do not have the right to criticize him in any way. Of course, I’m sur
e your mother has a lot to do with your attitude. Just leave my mother out of this.
Speaking of attitudes, I am quite surprised at yours toward me. Since I am going to be your stepmother for the rest of your life, I suggest you accept that and treat me with the respect I deserve as your stepmother. You ‘deserve respect’? Not in my book, lady.
For now, I expect a letter of apology from you to your father, and to me, also. You will always be welcome in our home, but your apology must come first. As for your siblings, since they choose not to even meet me, I have nothing to say to them and no hospitality to offer them.
Let us start this New Year out as friends and a second family for you. I do want that, but first, you must exhibit some remorse for what you have said to hurt Michael and me. And AJ, please do not call your father and complain to him about me or this letter. I discussed with him at length what I intended to say to you, and he sees nothing wrong with my feelings. I shall expect your letter of apology, and an offering of respect and friendship by return mail.
Sincerely,
Your Stepmother, Katherine
OH. MY. GOSH.
I threw the letter on my bed. I was speechless. What a…a witch. That’s not the word I thought, but I didn’t say it. I looked out the window and up into the sky. Please, God, give me a little credit for not saying what I thought. I promise not to even think that again. Uh, well, I promise to try not to think it again.
I couldn’t believe that Dad had approved of what she had written to me. But then, why should I doubt her? He certainly hadn’t tried to mend fences with me since my visit with him in San Francisco, and he was obviously really mad at me for the letter I wrote. I worked so hard on that letter, Dad. I really, really wanted you to understand my point of view. I really wanted to get back on the same terms with you we used to be on.
Well, it was pretty evident that the ‘same terms’ didn’t exist at this point. I lay down on my bed and curled up into a ball. I thought back to when I was younger, and Dad was teaching me to team pen. He was so patient with me, he never got upset when I lost the cow because I couldn’t keep her headed in the direction of the pen, or when I took too long to get out of the gate. He would say, “Don’t worry about it. Clear your head, and start over. You’ll get it.” I always did, even if sometimes it was because the cow was so tired she headed to the pen without me doing anything. Dad would laugh, and we’d go in the kitchen for a cool drink and a talk. Back then, I could talk to him about anything. Even after we won the Championship, I could still talk to him. Until the accident, that is.
Maybe it was the accident that took Dad away from you, and not Katherine. That darn little voice was at it again. Sure, the accident that kept Dad from riding again had a lot to do with him becoming so different, but Katherine was already in the picture by then, according to Mom.
I heard Mom’s voice and realized she had come in from work. I got up and went downstairs with the letter in my hand.
“Hi, Mom. Uh, look, I’ve got something I want you to read. It’s from Katherine.”
Mom looked at me with a frown on her face. “Katherine? Why would she write to you? A special invitation to the wedding, I suppose.” Her voice sounded bitter.
“Hah. It was anything but that.” I handed her the letter.
A few moments later, she threw the letter on the kitchen counter. “That b…” She stopped and looked at me. “Sorry, AJ. If you can’t use that word, neither should I. How could she say those things to you? I guess she really hurt your feelings, didn’t she?” Mom gave me a big hug, stood back, and looked into my face. “Well, I must say, you don’t look very upset. What are you going to do?”
I shrugged as I went to the fridge for a cold soda. “I don’t know, Mom, except that the one thing I’m not going to do is write her a letter of apology.”
I popped the can and sat down at the counter. “What do you think I should do? Every word I told you about that weekend is true, Mom. I didn’t lie about anything, and I didn’t make up anything I said. I took a long time to write to Dad and tried to explain how I felt. I didn’t criticize Katherine, I didn’t say anything bad about her at all. It was just between Dad and me.”
She sat down, tapping her fingers on the granite countertop. I waited for her to say something, because this tapping bit was always her signal for us kids to shut up and wait for her to speak. Sometimes, it went on forever, but if we knew what was good for us, we didn’t move and we didn’t say a word.
Before she quit the tapping thing, Sarah and Suzanne bounced into the kitchen. They both spoke at the same time. Obviously, they hadn’t paid attention to her fingers.
“Mom, can we go shopping with Katie and her mom?”
I glared at them. “Shh. Can’t you see Mom is busy thinking? You can’t go before dinner, anyway.”
Mom spoke up and scared all three of us. “Please don’t interrupt me when I’m thinking. No, girls, you can’t go before dinner, and afterwards is too late. Go watch TV or do homework, or something. I need to talk to AJ.”
The twins frowned. They didn’t like not getting to do what they wanted, when they wanted. Mom did seem to be getting stricter with them than she had been BTD. (Before The Divorce.) Even I wondered why. They went into the family room, muttering to each other.
Mom reached out and touched my fingers. “Honey, this is another one of those adult kind of decisions you have to make for yourself. I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I am going to share some things I’ve been thinking about.”
She got up and went to the sink to empty the coffee pot. She was quiet while she ran fresh water and put in the coffee grounds. She clicked the ‘on’ button, and turned to me.
“Michael”…there was that ‘Michael’ again. Doesn’t anyone but me even think of him as my father or our father?
“Michael seems to have left this family in ways other than a physical parting. Andrew and the twins haven’t seen him in almost a year, and not only do they not seem to care, but neither does he. He has treated you badly and made you feel like you are not as important to him as you used to be. It is becoming increasingly difficult for me, as your mother, as well as being Andrew and the twins’ mother, to keep telling all of you, reminding all of you, that he loves you all dearly and wants to remain a part of your life.”
She stopped, as the coffee pot dinged. She poured herself a cup of coffee and came back to sit down. “Since Katherine came into his life, his family has become…well, all I can think of is that you kids have become less and less important to him. Maybe it’s because you are all growing up and he thinks you don’t need him much now that you’re all older. Or…”
I took a chance on my life and interrupted her. “Mom, it’s because we are growing up that we need him in our lives. But he doesn’t see that, and I don’t think he really cares. It’s not just about me, anymore, it’s Andrew and the twins, too. He doesn’t…” My throat clogged up with tears, and I couldn’t go on.
About that time, Andrew came stomping into the kitchen. He threw his cap and jacket towards the coat rack, but of course they missed and landed in a mess on the floor. He totally ignored them and went to the fridge.
“Hey, Andrew, you’d better pick your stuff up because I’m not going to do it.” I glared at him over the rim of my soda.
“Hey, brat,” he mimicked, “I didn’t ask you to, did I?” He started toward the counter with a soda in his hand and stopped in mid-stride.
“Uh-oh, did I land in the middle of something I know I don’t want to hear about?” He looked at Mom and me.
I tossed the letter to him. “We were just talking about this letter from OUR stepmother-to-be. What do you think?”
When Andrew finished reading the letter, he threw it down on the counter. It almost landed in Mom’s coffee cup. “What a crock! Who the hell does she think she is, anyway?” He looked over at Mom, who hadn’t said anything but raised her eyebrows at the ‘h’ word he used.
“Oh, sorry, Mom. But that’s
how I feel. AJ, you are NOT going to apologize to that woman for …well, whatever…are you?”
I sat still. Suddenly, everything seemed to get very quiet. Even the TV the girls had turned up loud, in protest to Mom’s ruling, seemed faint. The past year and a half seemed to flash in front of my brain, as I thought of all the things I had tried to talk to Dad about, both on the phone and what few times he came home. Home? But this wasn’t his home now. It hadn’t been ‘home’ to him for a long time. We really weren’t his family, either. Katherine was his family. And obviously, the only person he wanted in his life.
‘Dad’ was gone. And in his place was someone I didn’t even much like and certainly didn’t understand. Suddenly, it was like I had a ‘step’ father as well as a stepmother. To Be.
I slipped off the counter stool and picked up the letter. I tore it into little pieces, walked over to the trash, and threw them in.
“No, I’m not going to apologize to Katherine. Or to Michael.” I turned around and left the kitchen, but not before I caught the raised eyebrows and surprised look on my mother’s face.
Upstairs in my room, I opened my journal once more.
February 2nd
Dear Journal,
I’m back. I won’t even try to tell you what was in Katherine’s letter. I just want to forget it and her. Fat chance. I’ve cried a lot in the last few months, but somehow, I can’t seem to cry now. I’ve lost my dad. I finally realized that…I have LOST my dad. No, not like Amberley. He’s not dead or anything. But he is gone from my life. Oh, I suppose he’ll turn up every once in a while, probably call sometimes, but the father I knew and grew up with is gone. He is no more. It’s like what he used to be is a figment of my imagination. Hey! How’s that for dramatic? But I’m serious. If I didn’t have a brother and two sisters, I might actually think he was just someone I dreamed up for a father. But he was real, for most of my life…up to now, anyway. I remember something Lisa said one day, only we weren’t talking about Dad, she was telling me about a friend who was blaming another girl for ‘taking’ her boyfriend away. Lisa said, “You can not ‘take’ someone away from someone else in that manner. The person who leaves wants to leave, or it would not happen.”
