I laughed and actually felt relieved. I told her I figured she would have a lot of questions and she admitted that she did, but wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers. "First Michelle, now you. Am I really the only one who thinks we are too young for all of this?"
No. I thought we were too young too, but didn't want to admit it. I just shrugged it off and said, "Yeah, probably.”
We were close to her house and she said, "I just can't believe it. I mean Kelsey? You could have done better than that."
I smiled at her and playfully nudged her. She never liked Kelsey and had spent a lot of time talking about her with Jackie and Michelle. "You have never liked her."
She agreed, and we arrived at her house and went inside. No one else was home. We went into Maddy's room and sat on her bed. I got my Algebra book out and opened it up.
Maddy looked at me, still looking stunned. "I just can't believe it."
I smiled at her. She could be obsessive and had a hard time letting things go. So I tried to make a joke in hopes that she would move on. "You said that already. I know why you are mad. You wanted to be my first right?"
I was kidding, but part of me hoped she would say that was true. She just smacked me on the arm and joked back. "Yeah you're right. You got me."
We both laughed, but for some reason I felt like I owed her an explanation. "Look, she's hot and she wanted me. We were at a party at Matt's house and maybe it went a little too far." It definitely went too far.
She looked upset. "Were you drinking?"
I was tired of talking about it and really didn't want to go into the details so I rolled my eyes, "Maddy it was a party. Of course we were drinking."
She looked irritated and rolled her eyes at me. "Excuse me for thinking losing your virginity is important enough to be sober for."
Ouch. I hated that she was so disappointed in me. I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. "Not everything is so serious."
She looked down at her bed. "I know. I'm just worried about you."
I laughed and put one hand on her shoulder. She was a great friend and I told her so. Then I told her she needed to loosen up. She could get stuck inside her head so easily. I wanted to see her let go every once in a while.
I looked at her. I couldn't help being attracted to her even though she was my best friend. I thought that would make a relationship even better. I decided to try one more time to let her know how I felt.
I closed my book and leaned in and kissed her soft lips. I was surprised and ecstatic to feel her kiss me back. I slowly leaned her back on her bed and deepened the kiss.
It was so different kissing Maddy, and I couldn't get enough. She wrapped her hands around my neck, and I felt her fingers in my hair. I slowly moved my hand under her shirt and that’s when she stopped me by gently pushing me away. I was breathless from kissing her and didn't understand why she stopped. "What's wrong?"
She looked flushed and said the words I dreaded hearing. "I'm sorry, this is too weird. I mean, you are my best friend and we were just talking about you having sex with another girl."
I sighed. I understood not wanting to kiss me after talking about Kelsey, but it was the friend part that got me. I was just a friend to Maddy. Nothing more and it hurt like hell.
I gathered my things and told her I'd see her tomorrow. I went home and just lay on my bed and thought about Maddy for most of the night.
I was frustrated and confused, which put me in a really bad mood all week. Luckily, homecoming was the next week, so I was able to keep busy with extra football practice and working out.
After practice Friday, Andy and I went to work out at the gym. He was taking a short break from lifting weights and looked over at me, "Who are you taking to homecoming?"
I was running on the treadmill. I hadn't even thought about it. "I don't know. Why? Misty dump you and you need a date?"
He laughed, "Well if you're available I'd gladly dump her for you."
I rolled my eyes. "Sorry, I'm way out of your league." He flipped me off and started lifting again. I said. "I don't know maybe Katie Green. I heard her and Bryan broke up."
He looked like he approved and we went back to silently working out.
I asked Katie to go with me to homecoming and she eagerly agreed. When I showed up I instantly saw Maddy, standing with Michelle and Jackie, looking really bored.
Maddy looked really pretty. She had on a tasteful blue dress and had her hair up with no makeup on. Michelle was in a black dress that was pretty short on her tall frame and Jackie was in a revealing hot pink dress. Katie and I walked over to them.
Maddy was really nice and complemented Katie on her dress. Katie said something about her dress being shiny and Maddy looked over at me with an amused look. Slightly embarrassed by how shallow my date was I grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as Maddy, Michelle, and Jackie left soon after that.
We stayed for another hour and then headed out to the lake house with Misty and Andy. When we got there, the party was in full swing and there were a ton of people. I don't think Chris meant for it to be so large, but it was the only party going on that weekend.
We all started drinking, and about an hour later I went to get another drink in the kitchen and ran into Chris. He had a beer in his hand and watched disapprovingly as I made a mixed drink. "How many of those have you had?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "A couple. No big deal."
He walked closer to me. "You better slow down. You'll be puking before long and I'm sure as hell not cleaning it up."
Chris was a good brother, but I wasn't in the mood to be lectured. Truthfully, I had been in a bad mood since that night with Maddy. "I can handle it. Why don't you go back to your party and I'll go back to mine."
He shook his head at me and walked back over to his group of friends. I walked back into the living room and saw Katie kissing Bryan on the couch. Fucking perfect.
I walked over to where Andy and Misty were standing. "So I guess they are back together." I pointed at Bryan and Katie.
They looked over and Andy laughed and put a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry man. That sucks." He had an amused look on his face and I just shook my head and grinned. I wasn't really into Katie so it didn't bother me that much.
About an hour later I was really feeling the alcohol and kind of wished I had listened to Chris and slowed down. Andy and Misty went outside, but I decided to hang out in the kitchen.
Jackie came in from outside and walked over to me. "What are you doing in here all alone?"
She had definitely been drinking also and was standing really close to me. "I'm not alone. There are plenty of people in here."
She laughed. "But you aren't talking to any of them. You wanna talk to me?" She said it is an overly flirty way and then said loudly, “Man I am thirsty! I need another drink!”
Even in my drunken state I knew the last thing she needed was more alcohol. I slowly walked over to the sink and filled a glass with water. Then walked back over and handed it to her. "What do you want to talk about?"
She examined the cup of water, shrugged, and took a big drink. "I don't know." She covered her ears dramatically. "It's too loud in here! Let's go find somewhere quieter." She grabbed my hand and I stumbled after her.
She led us to the master bedroom and closed the door behind her. "That's much better."
I felt a little dizzy and walked over to the bed and sat down at the foot of the bed. She followed and sat next to me. "So what happened to your date?"
I looked straight ahead at the closed door. "She got back together with Bryan."
She nodded. "Oh, well that's good."
I looked at her and smiled. "Thanks."
She shook her head. "No not good. But I mean, come on, its not like you really liked her or something."
I nodded in agreement. "Yeah that's true."
She moved closer and started kissing me. I pushed her away gently. "Jackie
, maybe we should go back to the party."
She looked disappointed. "I don't want to. I'm having fun here."
I moved away from her a little. She looked annoyed. "Is this because of Maddy?"
I just looked at her confused. "What do you mean?"
She crossed her arms. "Do you like Maddy? You can tell me."
I knew what she meant, but tried to get around talking about it with sarcasm. "She's been my best friend since I was six. Of course I like her."
She giggled and reached out and touched my arm. "You know what I mean silly."
I did, but I didn't want to go into it. So I gave her Maddy's answer. "No, that would be weird. Maddy and I are just friends."
She smiled excitedly. "Good!" She kissed me again, and that time I just went with it. She smiled and then pushed me back on the bed.
The next morning I woke up to Jackie's naked body against mine. Memories of last night came into my head. Jackie on top of me tearing off her clothes and mine. Me finding a condom and her lowering herself slowly down until I slid into her. Her whispering she loved me and I'm pretty sure I whispered it back right before I came.
I felt like I was going to puke and put my hand on my forehead. Jackie stirred awake and looked up at me with a big grin on her face. "Good morning."
I cracked a small smile. "Good morning."
I couldn't believe I had sex with Jackie. What the hell was the matter with me? Maddy was going to be pissed. Jackie looked so happy, and I couldn't deal with it then. I felt like shit, in more ways than one. I stood up and grabbed my pants off the floor.
Jackie sat up, not bothering to hide her bare chest. "Are you leaving?"
I looked at her disappointed face as I hurriedly got dressed. "Yeah sorry, I have to get home. But last night was great. I'll see ya at school." I walked over and gave her a quick kiss.
She smiled at me. "Okay, I'll see you at school then. I can't wait."
As I made my way to the door I said, "I can't either." I was such an asshole.
First thing Monday morning I got a text from Maddy telling me she was going to be a little late and to go ahead without her. She did that sometimes, and I usually hated it because I loved walking to school with Maddy. That day I was grateful though. I felt terrible for sleeping with Jackie, and I wasn't ready to face Maddy.
I walked into school and went to my locker. I was trying to hurry so I wouldn't run into Jackie and Tiffany Hunter walked over to me. Tiffany was a sophomore that I had only talked to a couple of times. "Good morning Jake."
I gave her a polite smile and closed my locker. "Morning"
She was standing fairly close to me and had on way too much perfume. "So I'm having a birthday party on Saturday at my house. You think you can make it?"
I had no idea why she was inviting me. We had only talked a couple of times. I really wasn't interested her, but to be polite I said, "I don't know. I'll try."
She leaned in really close and planted a big kiss on my lips and then said very quietly, “Can't wait."
I watched her, surprised as she walked away. What the hell was going on with the girls in this school? I shook it off and headed to class.
Jackie and I had second period together, but she wasn't there. I didn't see her, Michelle, or Maddy at all that day. I sent Maddy a text to ask her where she was, but she never responded.
I was supposed to study with Maddy that night for our upcoming Algebra test so after practice I headed over to her house to study, but mostly to make sure everything was okay. Maddy didn't usually skip school.
I knocked on Maddy's door and waited anxiously for her to answer. Maddy answered the door and looked angrier than I had ever seen her look. She normally greeted me with a big smile, but today her beautiful smile was replaced by a scowl and she said,” What do you want?"
I was in awe of her anger and said cautiously, "I thought we were going to study for our Algebra test. Where were you today? What's wrong?"
She just looked at me and said, "I was cleaning up your mess."
I stood there thinking about what she could be talking about. She was worrying me now. "What the hell are you talking about? What mess?" I was still outside and she only had the door open enough for her tiny body. Her stance was defensive. "Can I come in?"
She reluctantly let me in and closed the door. "You seriously don't know what I'm talking about?" I racked my brain, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. She got irritated and threw her hands up and said, "Jackie!"
Okay. So Jackie told her we slept together. I figured she would, but I still had no idea why Maddy was so pissed off. "Okay, so Jackie and I slept together Friday. That's why you are so mad at me?"
She looked frustrated and told me she wasn't mad that I slept with Jackie, but that I had used her.
I sat down on the couch. How did I use her? This made no sense. "I didn't use her, we were both drinking and she was flirting with me like crazy. She pulled me into the bedroom and started undressing me. We both wanted it."
She shook her head like she was trying not to think about it and sat down in a chair. She didn't say anything at first so I thought maybe she would drop it.
Of course I was wrong. This was Maddy after all. She said, "It doesn't matter that you both wanted it. I didn't say you forced her. You lied to her and told her you loved her. She believed you. She wanted a relationship and you let her believe it so she would have sex with you."
I wanted to tell Maddy she was wrong and that I didn't tell Jackie I loved her to get her to sleep with me that we were already having sex when I said that. At least that's the only time I remembered saying it.
Instead I said, "I don't remember saying that, but if I did why the hell would she believe that? She just believed that even though I've never shown any interest in her I suddenly was in love with her."
That pissed her off. She stood up and yelled, "Yes! You've been friends for years. She trusted you and you used her! You are just..."
Now I was starting to get mad. I stood up also. "Just what?"
She glared at me intensely, "Just an asshole. An insensitive asshole that uses girls and it doesn't matter who it is. I mean seriously, Jackie? She's your friend!"
I couldn't believe her. She thinks I'm an asshole. She didn't stop to think that maybe Jackie had used me? I was so angry, I couldn't see straight. "Fine, blame me. Don't put any blame on Jackie. What because she's a girl she can't possibly be to blame? Guess what Maddy, there are girls out there interested in sex. She wanted it just as much, if not more than me. What the fuck do you want from me?"
She went off. "I don't want you to be a liar! If you just want to have sex then say that and I don't want you to hurt my friend. She may have wanted it, but she wanted you too! And we both know you knew that!"
I didn't know what to say. This was so strange. Maddy and I never fought. We were always on the same page. She was acting like I was this stranger that hurt her friend. Like I wasn't her friend. She looked like she was going to cry and then went on. "I just can't believe the way you are acting now. You are like a totally different person. "
I just looked at her. "Well at least I'm growing up and I'm not terrified of change.”
She scoffed at that and asked me what I meant by that.
I walked closer to her, "I mean you are terrified of things changing. It's like you want to stay a kid forever. You freaked out when I made out with Jackie, you freaked out when Michelle screwed some guy, you lectured me when I slept with Kelsey, and now this. We are all growing up and having fun, and you haven’t done shit. Maybe we aren't the problem here."
She looked at me angrily, “we are freshmen in high school! We are kids! You guys are rushing things, and you are my friends! Don't act like I'm the only virgin in our class. There are plenty. "
Part of me knew she was right, that we were probably growing up too fast. The other part of me was sick of her telling us what to do and of her being so good all of the time. "At least most of them have done somethi
ng. If I wouldn't have kissed you, you probably still wouldn't have even kissed anyone! You are just such a prude."
She didn't like being called a prude and I knew it. She told me she just had respect for herself and that I could stand to be more of a prude. And then she called me a slut. I don't know why, but that got to me. And before I could stop myself, I walked even closer to her and said words I never thought I would say to Maddy. "Well you are a judgmental bitch.”
I knew I shouldn't have said it. I could see the tears in her eyes, tears I had caused. She went over to the front door and opened it. "Get the hell out of my house."
I wanted to apologize, but saw how angry she was and just walked out.
I went home and all I could think about was our fight. I felt terrible for hurting Maddy, but I did hate that she judged me. She didn't want me, so why did she care so much about who I slept with.
She just saw me as a slut and someone who just used poor innocent girls. I was so angry I couldn't sleep that night. Instead, I just replayed my fight with Maddy over and over again.
Chapter 4
The more I thought about my argument with Maddy, the angrier I got. Every time I saw Maddy, all I could do was glare at her. She wouldn't look at me at all.
Lunch was really weird. I usually talked to Maddy the whole time, but we were both silent.
Paul was the first one to notice and asked what was going on. I didn't want to talk about it, so I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and left lunch early.
I walked out of the cafeteria and waited for my next class. I knew I needed to talk to Maddy, but I needed to wait until I cooled down. Talking to her when I was still mad was going to make things worse.
Later that day I was walking to class with Andy he just had to ask about it. "Okay, so what the hell is going on with you and Maddy? All she would say is you are being an asshole and she’s over it or some shit."
I stopped. "She's over it? How am I being an asshole? Maybe I'm over her shit."
He looked surprised. "Seriously man, what happened? You two were two peas in a pod, always together. It was almost annoying. And now you guys are acting like you hate each other."
Fate (Soulmates Book 2) Page 2
