by Barbara Gee
“The price isn’t that far out of line, actually.”
Izzy turned her head and looked at him accusingly. “But you just told Gloria it’s too high!”
He shrugged. “You want to play a little hard to get. Most people list high so there’s room to come down. If you decide to make an offer, I’d suggest going ten to twenty grand below the list price and see what happens. They’ll probably counter, and you can meet in the middle.”
Izzy turned onto Main Street and drove toward Barlow’s only grocery store. “So you really think I should go for it?”
“If you get approved for a mortgage, I think you should make an offer. You’ll want it to be contingent on the home inspection, of course. If any major issues come up, you might want to ask the seller to take care of the repair before you take possession. The roof would be my main concern. There’s no evidence of leaks, but until an expert climbs up there to take a look, it’s hard to say what kind of shape it’s in.”
Izzy parked in front of the store and smiled over at him. “Okay, you’ve convinced me. I’ll call the bank on Monday, once we get all the retreat participants registered and I have time to take a breath. I also need to check the balance in my savings account. I’m not sure I’ll have enough to pay twenty percent down. I should be close, though.”
“Your banker should be able to work with you on some options.” Tanner got out of the car and Izzy followed.
“I need to warn you about this store,” she said as they crossed the parking lot. “It’ll have most everything you need, but it’s a little crowded and jumbled. Things aren’t always in the logical spots, but I know the place pretty well, so just tell me what you want and I’ll find it for you.”
“Okay.” Tanner grabbed a cart from the line of them at the front entrance. “Produce?” he asked, looking to Izzy for direction.
“Along the back wall,” she told him, pointing.
He pushed the cart all the way to the end of an aisle, coming out right next to the produce area. He chose an assortment of fruit, then they made their way through the other aisles. Tanner wasn’t interested in cooking his own meals, but he wanted to have things to snack on when he was home, and some breakfast items for the days he didn’t have time to go to the cafeteria before work. Izzy wasn’t surprised to see he selected mostly healthy things, as he obviously took care of himself. His body was lean, powerful and finely tuned, much like Ryan and Tuck. Boone, as a professional athlete, was in a different class altogether, but the other three were impressive in their own right.
“Does this store have soap and shampoo and stuff, or do we have to go somewhere else?” Tanner asked.
Izzy pointed to an opening in the corner. “Through there. It’s a separate little area, like a mini drugstore.”
She tagged along as he chose toothpaste and shampoo, then stopped in front of the soap section. He tapped a bottle of body wash with a long finger. “This is what I’ve been using—the stuff you said smells like cologne.”
Izzy moved up beside him. “Unless you’re interested in attracting girls, I’d recommend choosing something else. Seriously, Tanner, that stuff should be outlawed. It was hard for me to concentrate on the drive here. It’s subtle, but so good. My car is going to smell like you for a week.”
He fixed his dark eyes on her for a moment, and Izzy was almost positive she saw a hint of humor in their depths. Then he deliberately reached up for the bottle in question and put it in his cart.
“Oh my word, so you do want to attract girls?” Izzy was shocked, and she wasn’t sure why. A man who looked like Tanner would certainly have opportunities to be with women, lots of opportunities. In her wild years, she would have been all over a man like him. But he was so closed off she had assumed being irresistible to the ladies wasn’t a priority for him. Or even a thought.
He pushed his cart a few feet further, then selected a plain bar of soap. When his gaze met hers again, the glint of humor was unmistakable. “Always good to have options,” he said.
She folded her arms. “You might want to ask my advice before you pursue any of the women on staff at the ranch,” she told him. “I can tell you which ones will be fine with a very short-term relationship, and which ones will get their hearts broken when you leave.”
“Are there rules against staff and volunteers getting involved?” he asked, wheeling his cart back toward the grocery area.
“No, not as long as their work isn’t affected.”
“Good to know. How well do you know Molly?”
Izzy’s eyes widened. “Molly? As in your boss?”
“Yeah.” He stopped at the front of the store and began unloading his cart on the conveyor belt at the cash register.
“Hold that thought,” Izzy whispered sternly as the cashier smiled and began chatting with them.
As soon as they got back in the car, she swiveled and looked at him. “So…..Molly?” Izzy was surprised to know the woman had actually caught Tanner’s eye. Molly was great, but she had a bit of a pushy, dominating nature. It was her way or the highway, according to Andi, who genuinely liked her boss, but didn’t care to cross her. Izzy wouldn’t have guessed Molly was Tanner’s type, but then again, she really didn’t know him well.
“Tell me about her,” Tanner requested.
“Oh, well, okay. Um, she’s really nice, and really good at what she does. I’m sure you know that already.”
“Yeah. Is she on the rebound?”
Izzy blinked in surprise. “How did you know that? Did she say something?”
He shook his head. “No, but it’s not hard to pick up on. She seems kind of aggressive, yet unsure at the same time.”
“Like she’s determined to get a man, but not sure she’s loveable?”
“Exactly.”
Izzy sighed. “I really like Molly, but you couldn’t be more right. I don’t want to share a lot of her personal stuff, but she’s recently divorced, and her ex is a jerk.” She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to decide how much to say. “I can understand you being interested, Tanner, and if you were going to be around for a long time, I’d say go ahead and explore it. But since you don’t know when you’ll be leaving, I’d be a little worried about starting something and then suddenly leaving. Molly is the type who would be hurt.”
“I never said I was interested, Izzy.”
She threw up her hands. “Then why did you ask about her like you were?”
“Because I’m trying to head off a potential problem. It seems like every time I turn around, she’s there. Today was twice as bad as any other day. She was either following me around, or calling me to her office for “advice” on the horses.”
“Oh.” Izzy pondered that news. “You’re right, that could definitely be a problem. What are you going to do about it?”
He gave her a stern look. “I’m asking you for advice, to start with. Didn’t you just tell me I should do that?”
“That was if you were going to be the one doing the pursuing, to keep you from fixing your sights on the wrong girl. This is a totally different situation.”
“So you’ve got nothing?”
“I have to think about it.” Izzy started the car and backed out of her parking space. “I could talk to Andi. She knows Molly really well and might have some suggestions.”
Tanner rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t want to make a big deal about it. If I ignore it, maybe it’ll go away.”
“We can trust Andi to keep it to herself.” Izzy grinned over at him. “She’s my real BFF by the way.”
“She’s a good person, I like working with her. I met her husband the other day, too. An inspiring guy.”
“Is he ever,” Izzy said warmly. She wished she could tell Tanner that Charlie and Andi were expecting a baby, but she couldn’t break her friend’s confidence. Hopefully Andi would announce it soon before Izzy accidently let it slip.
“He said he helps at the ice rink a lot, teaching the veterans to play sled hockey. I want to get over t
here to watch them sometime,” Tanner said. “Hopefully I’ll see Boone in action soon, too.”
“He and Charlie are both amazing with the veterans, but we’re getting off the subject. Back to Molly.”
He raised one shoulder in a shrug. “Let’s just see what happens next week. Maybe once she’s busy with retreat people it won’t be an issue.”
Izzy wasn’t so sure. “You’ll let me know if you want me to talk to Andi?”
“I will.”
“And, uh, you might want to make sure you go with the bar of soap instead of that body wash,” she teased.
He almost smiled. “You do realize I only bought that to irritate you?”
“What? But why would you want to irritate me?” she asked as she waved to the gate attendant and drove onto the retreat center grounds. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”
“I didn’t ask for nice,” he reminded her.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said matter-of-factly. “You need someone to bring you out of your shell, and I’ve nominated myself to be that person.”
“Well, before you gave yourself that role, you should have considered the fact that maybe I’m reserved for a reason. That if I have a ‘shell’ it’s my choice—not something I need to be broken out of.”
“Why would you choose to cut yourself off, though?” Izzy wondered. “I keep getting glimpses of a different man. You come across all gruff and angry, and you refuse to laugh or even smile, and yet you have a sense of humor, and you’re a caring person. You wouldn’t have come with me this evening, or looked up information on housing in Barlow if you weren’t. You’re trying to hide that side of yourself, though, which seems really sad to me, because I think that’s the real Tanner James.”
***
“You can think what you like, I suppose.”
Tanner clenched his teeth and looked out the window, knowing he needed to resist Izzy’s attempts to get him to be more introspective. He had painstakingly become the man he needed to be in order to take down the bad guys, and that’s who he needed to stay. The fact Izzy was seeing beyond that man concerned him. He was relaxing too much, lowering his guard, which would complicate things when he went back to work.
Getting away from the bureau had been a mistake—that was becoming more clear to him every day. He couldn’t afford to forget he was going to be called away at a moment’s notice, thrust back into a situation that required him to be on constant alert, no room for error. If he became accustomed to not having his guard up all the time, to being sloppy, it could be disastrous.
He questioned Luther anew for sending him away. If the upcoming assignment was as dangerous as Luther seemed to think, why not keep him in his familiar routine, so he’d be as sharp as possible when the time came? Why confuse things by getting him so far out of his comfort zone?
Deep down Tanner was pretty sure he knew the answer to that question, and it had to do with the guilt his boss had confessed to. Guilt over asking too much, requiring too much personal sacrifice. The chilling conclusion Tanner had reached was that Luther didn’t know whether he would survive the next assignment, and sending him away to “enjoy life” for a while was an attempt to make Luther feel better about risking the life of someone he cared about.
Tanner didn’t blame Luther, and he had long ago accepted the risks that came with the job. He couldn’t afford to dwell on that now, though, especially not with the perceptive Izzy by his side.
He glanced over at her, her lovely profile illuminated by the sun shining in her window as she concentrated on the road. The girl was beautiful and smart, and so happy and content in her own skin. She was also way too determined to get into his head.
It should be easier to resist her, considering his training, but it was becoming clear he lacked the will to completely shut her out. Her brightness was so attractive—it drew him in.
In her innocence, she was convinced he needed to clear out the baggage that was walling him off from normal human interaction, which would in turn free him to be a more open, happy person. He wondered how she’d react if she knew the part of him she was trying so hard to bring to the fore had been consciously tamped down as a matter of basic survival. The kinder, gentler Tanner James no longer existed, and any glimpses she might see of that man were only remnants, perhaps brought out by the calming, laid back nature of his work here at the ranch.
Still, he couldn’t deny she was getting to him. Izzy’s bright, sunny, optimism was as compelling to him as a drug. He was beginning to crave it.
CHAPTER 8
“Have you met Virgil and Kay yet?” Izzy asked as she parked in front of Tuck and Maddy’s house.
“They stopped in at Tuck’s the evening I got here. I also met them at one of Boone’s hockey games last fall. I go with a buddy every once in a while.”
“You have buddies other than Tuck and Ryan?” Izzy asked a little skeptically.
“Yeah, a few.” Tanner put his hand on the door latch. “Does that make you feel like you’ve wasted your efforts these last few days? Trying to befriend the poor friendless guy, who really isn’t?”
She shook her head stubbornly. “No, because I bet you don’t have any friends that aren’t FBI agents.”
He tilted his head, wondering whether someone had told her he was a special agent, or if she’d come to that conclusion on her own. He knew Libby and Maddy knew it, but he doubted they’d told her. Maybe Jolene had guessed, based on his friendship with Linc.
“You think I’m FBI?” he asked casually.
Izzy got out of the car and waited for him to join her on the front walk. “Yeah, I do. Why be so secretive and mysterious if you’re not?”
“Are Ryan and Tuck secretive and mysterious?” he wondered.
“Not like you. I mean, when it comes to their jobs they definitely are. Everyone knows they’re FBI, and they don’t talk about what they do. But when they’re not working, they’re normal people, which I chalk up to having wives who encourage them to leave the job at the office, so to speak. I don’t think you do that. I think you’re FBI all the time, which is why it’s been such a stretch for you to be here at the ranch.”
“So I’m abnormal?” Tanner asked dryly.
Izzy shook her head. “Not exactly, I just think you’re used to living your job all the time, and coming here is throwing you for a little bit of a loop.”
They stopped at the front door, facing each other. Izzy raised her brows, waiting for him to respond. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on hers. If she was expecting him to deny her conclusion, she was in for a surprise.
“You’re right on all counts.”
Her jaw dropped at his ready admission. “I am?” she asked, a little flustered. “I mean, I knew I probably was, I just didn’t expect you to admit it.”
He nodded slowly, making sure his expression was neutral. “There’s another truth you need to consider, Izzy. When I leave here, whether that be weeks or months from now, I’ll be gone for good. There’ll be no more contact between you and me, or anyone else here other than the guys.” He let that sink in, then pointed out the obvious. “What I’m saying is there’s really no reason for you to knock yourself out trying to be my friend, because in the end, the friendship won’t last. It can’t.”
***
She studied him closely, trying to figure out why he was so certain his leaving had to be the end, and whether he had any regret about that. It was apparent the man had layers she couldn’t even imagine, a life she would never know or understand. Yet, their paths had crossed for a reason. She still believed that.
It wasn’t something she could explain, but it was real. She met new volunteers all the time, but none of them had ever ignited such a strong and immediate desire to get to know them. One look into Tanner’s dark, guarded eyes, and next thing she knew she was baking for him. Surely there was a reason for that?
She gave what she hoped came across as an unconcerned shrug, trying to keep things light so he wouldn’t
pull further away. “I get this is a temporary gig for you, like a short sabbatical or something, but is there any reason you can’t let your guard down and enjoy yourself while you are here? Live and laugh a little bit, before real life calls you back?”
A shadow crossed his handsome face. “Several reasons, actually,” he said quietly.
Izzy felt her heart sink. What was holding this man captive? She tilted her head and frowned up at him. “If your job is what stresses you out, I would think getting away from it all and cutting loose a little could do you a world of good.”
“That’s probably the case for most people. Not for me.” He raised a brow in warning. “Don’t ask why. It’s not something I can talk about.”
She knew better than to push him. “Can we still hang out?” she asked hopefully.
He gave her a warning look. “Only if you don’t have unrealistic expectations.”
Izzy raised her right hand. “I hereby promise I won’t ever expect you to truly enjoy yourself in my presence, and all the friendly feelings will be on my part only.”
One corner of his mouth twitched upward. “And you won’t take it personally if I leave without a word?”
That wasn’t something she could promise, so she skirted the question. “I just want you to enjoy your time here. This is a special place. Only you know why you chose to come, but since you did, I hope you leave feeling lighter. A little less burdened, you know?” She tapped his chest with her finger. “I think maybe that’s already started, even though you’re fighting it every step of the way.”
His dark eyes clashed with hers. “Why do you even care?” he asked bluntly. “I’m just one volunteer among dozens. Surely you don’t put this much effort into befriending all of them.”
Izzy blew out a long breath. “I’ve asked myself that question a dozen times. I still can’t answer it, other than to say that every day I strive to do what God asks of me. For whatever reason, I feel like He wanted me to reach out to you. So that’s what I did.”
