by Barbara Gee
“I enjoyed the chance to interact with them. Some pretty impressive men and women.”
“They inspire me every day,” Molly said.
“I think it’s mutual. You’re very good at what you do,” Tanner said sincerely.
“Why thank you.” Molly smiled up at him. “Hey, I’d be happy to make dinner for you, you know, to reward your hard work today. Wouldn’t take me long to throw something together.”
Tanner had seen that invitation coming, and was ready for it. “Thanks, but I’m catching a ride into Barlow with someone. I need to be out of here in ten minutes in order to make it.”
“Maybe another time then,” she said, obviously disappointed.
He wasn’t going to commit to that. “What time do we start tomorrow?” he asked instead. “Same as today?”
“Twenty minutes earlier. I always like to have a staff meeting first thing to discuss the day before. Things that worked well, and what we can do better.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be here.” Thankfully they’d arrived at the turn-off to the stable area. He gave a half-smile. “Have a good evening.”
“You, too. See you tomorrow.”
Tanner tugged Comet’s reins and picked up his pace. He wouldn’t skimp on the horse’s care, but he’d do it all as quickly as possible.
The horse followed gamely, knowing he was heading for food. “Good boy,” Tanner murmured as they reached the animal’s roomy stall. He removed the saddle and bridle, then picked up a brush and went to work. Comet nickered and tossed his head, enjoying his mini pampering session.
Twelve minutes later the horse was happily munching grain and Tanner was on his way to his golf cart. His shower would be rushed, but he’d make it.
***
It was ten after six. Izzy was sitting on the steps of her front porch, checking emails on her phone and trying not to be too concerned about the absence of a golf cart in front of cabin number five.
On the one hand, she felt confident Tanner would have let her know if he couldn’t go along. On the other hand, she couldn’t discount the possibility he’d gotten caught up in something at work and lost track of time.
A low hum reached her ears, causing her to look up hopefully. It was impossible to stop her smile as she watched him coming toward her, his electric golf cart maxing out on speed. He waited until the last second to slow and make the sharp turn to park by his door.
He swung swiftly out of the driver’s seat. “Five minutes,” he called, his white teeth flashing in a smile as he jogged up the front steps and disappeared inside.
“Oh, I’ll wait,” Izzy said softly to herself. “I will most definitely wait.” Just that short glimpse of Tanner had caused her pulse to quicken, and the prospect of spending the evening with him seemed the very best way to end an already good day.
Six minutes later they were in her car. They talked about their respective days on the drive to Barlow, the conversation flowing easily. What a difference a day made.
It was clear to Izzy that Tanner was buying into the mission of the Full Heart Ranch Retreat Center in a big way. He was impressed by the courage of the veterans he’d worked with, but he also picked up on how difficult it was for them to accept their limitations. He was excited about having the chance to help show them that with hard work, a positive attitude, and the right tools, life could still be full and good.
“Two short weeks can make such an amazing difference,” Izzy agreed. “I’m not naïve enough to believe every single person leaves the ranch changed for the better, but the vast majority do find new hope and motivation. Having the families along is huge, too. They get so much input from our counseling staff to help them understand what their loved one is going through, and they learn how important it is to make activity a high priority. We get at least a dozen letters every week thanking us for what we do.”
“Your friend Andi’s husband spent some time in the ring with us today. It was huge for the vets to hear his story and see how well he’s doing. I didn’t realize his history with the ranch.”
“Oh, goodness, yes, Charlie is the best example of what can happen here. I was actually an intern when he was a retreat participant. Talk about an attitude. I used to beg Jolene not to make me work with him.”
“I’d like to spend more time with him,” Tanner said thoughtfully. “I’m sure there’s a lot more to his story than what he told us today.”
“You’re right, there is. He basically saved Jolene’s life when a guy who was blackmailing Boone tried to abduct her.”
Tanner’s jaw dropped. “Charlie’s the guy? One of my FBI buddies was Boone’s bodyguard during that time, and he told me that story.”
“Yep, that was Charlie.” Izzy parked the car in front of Gloria’s real estate office and looked over at him, smiling widely. “Can you keep a secret?”
He gave her a “what do you think” look and she giggled.
“Oops, I forgot you’re a secret agent man. So, anyway, Andi’s pregnant! But she’s only like a month along, and they don’t want to tell people yet.”
“That’s pretty awesome,” Tanner said, a smile curving his lips. “Can you imagine raising a kid on the ranch? What a great childhood.”
“You’re right about that. It’ll happen, too. Charlie and Andi aren’t going anywhere, in fact, I’m pretty sure Charlie is soon going to be appointed head of the counselling department. Which is a good move, in my opinion. All of the counselors have basically the same training and they’re all great, but only Charlie has lived out what our retreat families are going through. That makes him so valuable.”
“Maddy and Libby seem to have staffing down pat. They’ve put together a real strong team.” Tanner smiled teasingly at her. “I’m going to have to try to sneak into the PT room and watch you in action sometime. See if you measure up.”
“Any time, mister,” she said. “I can assure you, the PT department is spot on.”
“I’m not surprised,” he said, opening his door. “So let’s go do this contract thing.”
“Wait,” Izzy said urgently. Their conversation had distracted her from the reason they were here, and now that he’d reminded her she had a moment of panic. “Am I really going to do this?”
“Did you tell Granny you were going to?”
She nodded. “She’s thrilled, and she jumped at the chance to come help me get settled in if the sale goes through.”
Tanner smiled. “Then I guess you’d better go sign on the dotted line. Don’t want to disappoint Granny.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” she said nervously. “By the way, I offered the amount you suggested. Gloria said the owners will probably counter, but she thinks they’ll be reasonable. Even if we agree on a price, it’ll still depend on the home inspection. Just in case there’s a glaring problem we don’t know about.”
“Yep. That’s the way to do it.”
Tanner got out of the car, Izzy following. He held the office door for her and she entered to find Gloria waiting, contract in hand.
“Oh Izzy, my dear, this is so exciting,” she gushed. “Your very first house. Don’t worry, we’re going to go over this contract page by page so you know exactly what it says. Come on into the conference room so we can spread out.”
As the woman took them through the document, pointing out all the important points, Izzy was very grateful to have Tanner there. He asked intelligent questions, suggested a couple of minor changes which Gloria was able to make on the spot, then told Izzy that in his opinion it was ready to sign.
Izzy had paid close attention to everything they’d gone over, but with no prior experience she would have been much more wary about signing. She trusted Gloria, but the legalese in the contract was intimidating. With Tanner’s approval, however, she had no qualms about signing her name in five different places and putting the contract back in Gloria’s hands to deliver to the owners’ realtor.
“I should hear back within twenty-four hours,” Gloria said. “I’ll contact you the
minute I do, and please don’t hesitate to call if you think of any other questions.”
Izzy assured her she would, then they headed back out to her car. She slid behind the wheel and held out her hands so Tanner could see they were shaking slightly.
“I can’t believe I did that. If I’m this worked up about spending Granny’s money, imagine what I’d be like if I’d had to take out a mortgage.”
Tanner reached out and took her right hand in his, his grip warm and strong. “You’re buying a house, Izzy. Regardless of where the money came from, it’s a big decision. It’s okay to be nervous.”
She nodded, trying not to show her intense reaction to his touch. Innocent as it was, the feel of his big hand swallowing up her small one did crazy things to her heart.
“Thanks for coming with me,” she said. “You have no idea how much it helped.”
“You’re welcome.”
She squeezed his hand lightly, then pulled away to start the car. She immediately missed the contact, then chastised herself for going there. The man could be gone tomorrow, for goodness sakes. She couldn’t let herself get that attached.
“You hungry?” she managed to ask as she backed out of the parking lot.
He barked out a laugh. “I feel like my stomach is eating itself. I took a sandwich to work, but didn’t have time for it.”
“Then the Barlow Diner is just what you need. Nothing fancy, but everything is tasty and filling, and their peanut butter pie is out of this world.”
“So step on it,” Tanner mock ordered.
“Relax, big guy, it’s only two blocks away.”
A few minutes later they were seated at a booth in the back corner of the diner, menus in hand. Their waitress delivered glasses of water and asked if they needed a few minutes to decide on their orders. Izzy laughed at Tanner’s hopeful and slightly desperate look that plainly said please don’t send her away.
“I think we’ve both decided already,” she said, appeasing him. “I’ll have the chicken nachos with a side of guacamole.”
The waitress scribbled that down and then looked expectantly at Tanner.
“Beef stroganoff and a large house salad,” he said.
“Would you like dinner rolls with that, sir?”
“Yes, please,” he said gratefully. “You can bring those out early if you get a chance.”
The young waitress blinked at him, looking a bit mesmerized before recovering and hurrying off.
Izzy raised her brows at him. “Pretty sure you can count on those rolls getting here in record time.”
He rubbed his flat stomach. “I hope so. I’m starting to feel a little faint.”
“Poor thing. Do I need to talk to Molly about making sure her people have time to eat lunch?”
“Nah, now that I know more what to expect, I’ll be able to find five or ten minutes.”
“Packing a sandwich and eating on the run isn’t good for you, though. You should have time to go to the cafeteria. That’s part of the deal for our volunteers.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he said, glancing sideways as the waitress approached, a basket of dinner rolls in her hand.
“I brought you regular butter, and our homemade honey butter,” she said, placing the rolls and a small plate on the table in front of him. “Anything else I can get you right now?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” Tanner barely waited for her to turn away before slicing into a roll and spreading the honey butter over the steaming hot surface. “Want one?” he asked generously.
“No thanks.” Izzy leaned her forearms on the table, smiling as he took his first bite. “They make those fresh daily,” she told him.
He closed his eyes as he chewed. “Heavenly.”
“Save room for pie,” she warned.
“Won’t be a problem,” he assured her, starting on the second half of the roll. “So Granny’s gonna visit?”
“She is, and she can’t wait. I warned her it’ll most likely be a couple weeks before things are settled, but she said that’s fine because her schedule’s wide open for the next month.” Izzy found herself wondering if Tanner would still be around then. She had a feeling he and Granny would hit it off given the chance, but she kept that to herself. It wasn’t like Tanner could control how long he stayed, and she didn’t want to put any extra pressure on him. She was pretty sure he had plenty of that already.
They chatted easily through the meal, then spent twenty minutes at the grocery store before stowing Izzy’s purchases in the trunk and heading back to the ranch. Tanner helped her carry the bags inside, accepting readily when she offered to make coffee.
“That’s why I refused coffee with my pie,” he told her, a glint in his dark eyes. “I was hoping you’d feel obligated to make me some.”
Izzy put her hands on her hips and looked at him with narrowed eyes. She was happy he wanted to stay, but the man tied her in knots.
“You’re a hard man to figure out, Tanner,” she said, deciding he might as well know how she was feeling. “I’m trying, but it’s not easy. A week ago, you were looking for every excuse to get away from me. Now you’re plotting to have me make you coffee. I’m glad, because obviously I like spending time with you. But I can tell you’re waffling, and I have to admit I’m afraid at some point you’ll go back to wanting me to get lost.”
She expected him to make a glib comment of some kind, steering her away from anything serious. Instead he slowly lowered himself onto the loveseat by the window, his expression thoughtful.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m having trouble trying to figure myself out, too.”
Izzy met his gaze for a long moment. “Hold that thought,” she said, turning to get the coffee going. When the aroma of her favorite dark roast began filling the cabin, she settled down on the other end of the loveseat, pulling her knees up and facing him. She waited patiently for him to explain his last remark, and after another minute, he broke the silence.
“I feel a little bit like Jekyll and Hyde,” he said. “Ten days ago, I was working twelve to fourteen hour days in a computer lab. My days consisted of getting up at five, going to the gym, being at work by six-thirty, then immersing myself in the dark web until at least seven at night. The only people I had any regular interaction with were the four other people in the lab, and my special agent in charge. Every once in a while, I’d go to one of Boone’s hockey games with a friend, or meet someone for lunch. Once every two weeks, I’d go spend time at a different kind of lab, making sure I keep up to date on things I need when I get sent out in the field.”
Izzy hadn’t expected him to actually talk about himself, and she badly wanted to hear more. “Sounds like way too much work and not enough play.”
“Yeah, well, that was literally my existence for the last nine months.”
“And before that?” she wondered.
“Even worse, but I can’t give you details on that.” He wiped a hand down his face. “I can’t fill in any more blanks for you, but I hope telling you this much helps you understand my mindset when I arrived here. In a matter of twenty-four hours, I went from basically living in a top-secret computer lab to this place. To the Full Heart Ranch.”
“And suddenly you found yourself surrounded by a group of very social, cheerful people who expected some type of interaction.” Izzy got up and poured two mugs of coffee, handing him his before settling back down beside him. “From darkness to light. I guess that came as kind of a shock.”
“To put it mildly. For many reasons, being a loner works for me. It’s been that way for a long time, and other than planning to spend some time with Ryan and Tuck, I didn’t see that changing once I got here.”
She flinched. “Then along came Dizzy Izzy. Whoa.”
The glint returned to his eyes as he took a sip of coffee. “Then came Izzy,” he agreed after he swallowed.
“The one girl who can’t take a hint,” she added.
“There was no hinting. I flat out told you I wasn’t in
the market for a new friend.”
Izzy giggled. “Now, now, Tanner. We were obviously meant to be friends. Me getting past your defenses was God’s plan. I was merely following along.”
He smiled briefly. “I don’t know if I’m buying that part, but we do seem to be friends.”
She was glad to hear him acknowledge it. “You weren’t such a hard nut to crack after all.”
He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Maybe not. The thing is, I can’t help but feel like I should’ve kept pushing you away, because I’m not sure where we go from here.”
Izzy gave him a stern look. She had made too much progress to let him bow out now. “You’re over-thinking it,” she said firmly. “We don’t need to have everything planned out. We’ll just hang out and see where it goes—it can be as simple as that. And yes, I realize you could be called back to the FBI at any moment. That doesn’t change my mind about spending time with you.”
***
Tanner considered his response, hiding his indecision with another sip of coffee. When he looked over at her again—her warm blue-grey eyes sparkling at him over the rim of her mug—he decided he’d never met a lovelier woman, both inside and out. Izzy was the kind of girl he could actually imagine waking up to every morning, and hurrying home to at night.
A sudden rush of need had his hand clenching tightly around his coffee mug. He tried to relax before she noticed, but his whole body had tensed. In his thirty-three years, he’d never met a woman who’d tempted him think along those lines. Ever. “Long-term relationship” had never been part of his vocabulary, and it shouldn’t be now. Yet he was already dreading the day he’d have to leave here. Leave her.
How had this girl gotten past his defenses so fast?
Again he mentally cursed Luther. Why had he thought getting out into the “real world” was a good idea? How was Tanner supposed to adopt the mindset of a hate-filled terrorist after experiencing this retreat center, with its mission of love and acceptance and healing?
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Izzy’s soft voice interrupted the turmoil in his brain. She set her mug on the window sill right behind the loveseat and reached for his hand, the one that wasn’t white-knuckling his own mug. She held it between both of hers, her grip strong, her skin warm.
