by Barbara Gee
“The guy I was supposed to spot wasn’t feeling well, so I have forty-five minutes of free time. Thought I’d come watch you guys in action.”
She pushed the loaded cart into the corner, then joined him in the open doorway. “I’m glad. I’ve been missing you.”
He raised a dark brow, looking pleased. “Oh yeah?”
“Yep. Jolene had to call me out for being distracted.”
“ ’Cause you were thinking about me?” He sounded even more pleased.
“Yep. I do that a lot.”
He reached out and took her hand in his, twining his fingers through hers and tugging her toward him. “I like being your distraction.”
She laughed and splayed her free hand on his chest. “I can’t let you distract me now, though. Five hard working retreat goers are going to be here any second, and I need to greet them.”
He let her go and they walked back out to the main PT room. “Where can I watch and be out of the way?”
“The chairs over by the window. We have family members come to watch sometimes, too, so you might have company.”
“I’ll probably have to cut out before you’re finished.”
“No problem. Talk to you later.”
***
He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Isabella Harding was definitely a woman who had found her calling. Her quick smile and joyful laugh, her obvious skill, her steady encouragement—the response to her was amazing. The two men she was shepherding through the exercise circuit gave her their all and then a little more. Maybe the other three physical therapists in the room were just as good, but Tanner had eyes only for Izzy. She was amazing.
He stayed as long as he could, then reluctantly got up to leave. His movement caught her eye and she looked over and flashed him a quick smile before turning back to the man doing a one-armed lift on the weight bench she was kneeling by.
Tanner walked quickly back to the barn, his mind so full of Izzy he had trouble remembering which horse he was supposed to be getting. Who would have ever thought he could be so deeply affected by a woman in such a short time?
He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Not Special Agent in Charge Neil Luther, that was for sure. The phone call last night had caught his boss completely by surprise. At first the man had been afraid something was wrong, since it was the first time he’d called in. After assuring him he was fine, Tanner got right to it. He had informed Luther he’d met a woman, and he wanted to continue a relationship with her after he left.
“You do realize you’re going to be totally out of touch for a substantial period of time?” Luther had sputtered.
Tanner bit back a sharp retort, saying only, “I’m not a rookie, boss. I’ve done this before.”
“Is she willing to wait that long? It could be up to a year, maybe even longer.”
“She might not be willing to wait even a day once she knows what I do for a living,” Tanner had ground out. “That’s why I want clearance to tell her. I know I can’t give any operational details about my next assignment, but I want to be able to tell her what I do, and how past jobs have gone. I need to level with her, and then let her decide whether we take things any further.”
Luther hadn’t been happy to hear that. “You’re asking a lot, Tanner. I might be sharing you with another office on the next job, but you’re still my agent, and you understand I’m committed to protecting you at all costs, right? Making an exception and telling a civilian that you’re an undercover operative embedding with terrorists doesn’t sit well with me. What happens if you have a bad break-up and she’s out for revenge?”
Tanner held his temper in check, because he knew Luther was sincere in his desire to keep his people safe. He didn’t know Izzy, either, so his question was understandable. In light of that, Tanner tried to be patient as he explained. “One of the reasons I’ve had as much success as I have is because I can read people. You know that, boss. The bureau pushes that skill at Quantico, and I’ve continued to hone it on every assignment I’ve had. This girl would never try to hurt me, break-up or not.”
“You just met her, Tanner. You can’t know that.”
“I do know it, but I understand why you’re not buying it. You’re welcome to do a background check, she gave her blessing for that. I’d also like you to talk to Ryan and Tuck. They know her well, and their wives know her even better. They’ll tell you the same thing I am.”
Luther’s long sigh was audible over the phone. “Since I’m the one who wanted you to take some time away to relax, I suppose this situation could be considered my own fault. I didn’t see this coming, though, I can tell you that. I’ve never seen you show any interest in a long-term relationship. Not even a hint.”
“She’s special, boss, and she’s worth it. If there’s any way to make it work, that’s what I want to do.” Tanner decided to leave it at that, and hope his boss trusted him enough to honor his wishes.
“Let me sleep on it tonight,” Luther said heavily, “and talk to a couple people tomorrow. I’ll talk to Ryan and Tuck, too, you can count on that. The background check also goes without saying.”
“I appreciate it.”
Another sigh came across the line. “I want you to be happy, Tanner. Lord knows you’ve earned that and more. I also want to keep you safe. My top priority, however, has to be the assignment. If telling your girl what you do for the bureau is going to compromise that, I’m not going to be able to let you do it.”
“I could walk away, you know,” Tanner reminded him.
“But you won’t.” Luther said grimly. “I can read people, too, Tanner. Plus, I’ve known you for a long time. I know your sense of duty won’t let you do that.”
“Not this time,” Tanner confirmed reluctantly, “but when this one is done, if I make it out alive, there’s a good chance I’ll request a move to a different field.”
“It’ll be granted if I have anything to say about it. You’ve risked enough, in my opinion.”
Tanner rubbed his eyes. “I appreciate that, boss. You’ll let me know what you decide?”
“I will, as soon as possible. And Tanner?” The man paused for a moment. “I’m glad you’re finally living a little. I’ll consider this request carefully, and grant it if I can. But as I said, I won’t risk your life, or the assignment.”
“I understand. Talk to you soon.” Tanner had hung up then, figuring he had at least a fifty-fifty chance.
***
Tanner knew it would likely be a couple of days before Luther would be able to consult with those he needed to bring into the decision. He thought about giving Ryan and Tuck a heads up, but decided against it. He wanted Luther to know he was getting their true initial reactions. Tanner was confident they’d vouch for Izzy, and he knew their opinions would matter.
In the meantime, Tanner planned to enjoy her company whenever possible. Time was short, and he didn’t want to waste it. He knew the sense of urgency he felt meant his mindset had shifted. Instead of being convinced they had to end things when he left, he was constantly thinking about how they might be able to make it work.
It all hinged on how serious things got before he was called away, and whether they felt they could survive the separation. Tanner would much prefer she knew his situation before making that decision, but if their feelings kept getting stronger, he knew Izzy would want to commit to the wait either way. She was the kind of girl who went all in, and while he liked that about her, he wasn’t sure he should let her make any hard and fast promises. If her feelings ended up changing with time, he didn’t want her to feel trapped.
He loved knowing she would push him to give it a chance, though. In fact, he was pretty sure he might already love her, period.
***
Gloria called that afternoon to let Izzy know the owners of the house had countered at five thousand more than her offer. Since Izzy had already decided to pay full price if they wouldn’t budge, she accepted immediately. The helpful realtor offered to bring the revised c
ontract to the ranch right when Izzy got off work so she could sign it. They met for five minutes in the lobby of the admin building, and Izzy was still able to get back to her cabin in good time, bursting to tell Tanner the news.
She dumped charcoal into her little hibachi grill and lit it, then quickly changed clothes, opting for the skirt this time, because she was celebrating after all.
She’d put chicken tenders in marinade that morning, using her mother’s secret recipe, and now she began on the homemade macaroni and cheese, another family recipe. That was for Tanner. Chicken and salad would have been plenty for Izzy, but she enjoyed providing him with a little comfort food. It was a nurturing quality she hadn’t realized she possessed until she’d started cooking for him.
She was outside flipping the chicken when he appeared in the doorway to the deck. He smiled at the sight of her kneeling by the miniature grill.
“You gonna get a big-girl grill when you move into your house?” he asked.
Izzy laughed. “It’ll be one of my first purchases,” she assured him, putting down the tongs and getting to her feet.
His gaze immediately swept over her, taking in the little navy skirt and the silky white top. When his eyes returned to hers, he gave a slow smile. “Looking good, Izzy.”
She smoothed the skirt self-consciously. “We’re celebrating,” she announced.
He raised his brows. “And you didn’t tell me? I feel so under-dressed.”
She laughed. “I like you just fine in jeans.”
He held out a hand and she took it, allowing him to tug her closer to him. “Are we by any chance celebrating the purchase of a house?”
“We are,” she said, beaming. “Only five thousand more than my offer. That’s good, right?”
“That’s very good.” He put his hands on her shoulders, smiling down at her. “But you can’t do the cooking for your own celebration.”
“I already did. It’ll be ready in about two minutes.”
“Then this isn’t the official celebration. Do you have plans for Saturday night?”
She shook her head, hooking her hands around his forearms. “What are you thinking?”
“You don’t need to know details. Just be ready at six thirty.” He grinned. “If you want to wear a dress again, that would be just fine.”
“This isn’t a dress,” she corrected, her heart rate increasing as his thumbs moved back and forth along her collar bone.
“I still like it. You’re a beautiful woman, Izzy-B. Congratulations on your house.”
“Thank you,” she said a little breathlessly. “I’d be a lot more nervous about it if you hadn’t helped me. I hope the home inspection goes well.”
“I think it will.” He started to say something else, then looked behind her at the grill. “I think we need to rescue that chicken.”
“Oh!” Izzy spun and dropped back to her knees, grabbing the tongs and the plate she’d brought out. Thankfully only two of the pieces were a little charred, the rest was fine.
Tanner knelt beside her, taking the plate from her and holding it while she loaded it up. “This looks almost as good as you do.”
“It’s my mama’s secret recipe.”
They took the chicken inside and he once again set the table while she set out the salad and macaroni. He bowed his head for grace, and looked at her a little sheepishly when she finished.
“You do that a lot better than me,” he said, spooning up a large helping of macaroni and cheese.
Izzy felt a jolt of delight. “Did you do it?” she asked eagerly. “Did you say a prayer?”
“Yep.”
“I bet it didn’t feel as awkward as you thought, did it?”
“Surprisingly, no. It’s not like it was a very long prayer, though.”
“What’d you say?” she asked before she could stop herself.
He gave her a mock frown. “That’s kind of personal, don’t you think?”
“Well I figured you kept it pretty simple for the first try. Like, maybe just thanking him for the beautiful day or something.”
“Hmm, I didn’t think about that. I just dove right in with a big request. That’s what the verse of the day said to do, right? It says to present your requests to God, so I did.”
“I’m impressed. You thought about what the verses were actually saying, and you honored my own request that you say a prayer. You’re a good guy, Tanner James.”
“You should probably reserve judgment on that,” he said, the smile in his eyes replaced by shadows.
Izzy poked at her salad, wishing so much they didn’t have that cloud hanging over them. “Did you call your boss?” she asked.
“I did. It’ll probably be a couple days before he gets back to me. I told him he can call Tuck and Ryan to get their take. I’m sure they’ll both give you a good reference, but I don’t know if that’ll be enough.”
Izzy put down her fork and looked at him, confused. “I don’t get it, Tanner. Tuck and Ryan don’t seem to be under the same restrictions as you. What’s so different about what you do, and what they do?”
He took a bite of chicken, chewed and swallowed before he answered. “Our job descriptions are pretty different.”
Izzy sighed. Whatever the difference was, he seemed convinced it could put a quick halt to their budding relationship, and that was the last thing she wanted to think about.
She tried to lighten the mood, because she wanted to enjoy their evening together, not waste time worrying about what was coming. “I wish you were a full-time horse whisperer instead,” she said.
He gave her a crooked smile. “Me, too. Maybe I’ll tell Special Agent in Charge Luther I’m moving on to a career with horses. They’re a lot easier to understand than most humans.”
“Could you do that?” she wondered. “Could you tell your boss to shove it anytime you want?”
He shrugged. “I could, but it’s pretty complicated, and like I’ve said before, there’s a lot at stake.”
In other words, it wasn’t going to happen. She looked down, disappointed. “I know I shouldn’t keep asking questions. I’ll try to be patient and wait until you can talk about it. But I do want to say one last thing before we switch to another subject.” She raised her eyes to his, hoping he could see how sincere she was. “I want you to stop worrying about how I’ll react. Obviously I don’t know what Special Agent Tanner James does, but I don’t believe there are two different men. I believe I already know the real you. You’re unselfish, caring, and loyal, and that’s just the beginning. Whatever your job is, I’m sure you do it because you believe it’s important. I can’t imagine I’ll question your judgment about that.”
Pain flared in his dark eyes, there and gone so fast she almost missed it. “I don’t think you’ll question that it needs to be done,” he said, his voice low and a little gruff. “I’m just not sure you’ll be able to live with the fact that it’s me who has to do it.”
She winced. What did that mean? What kind of pressure was he under? She swallowed hard, her heart hurting for him. “I might not like it, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to live with it.”
His gaze held hers, his voice low and intense. “I get it, Izzy. You want this to work. Believe me, I want that too. And I appreciate what you’re saying more than you know.” His smile was warm but rueful. “I’m also not going to hold you to any of it. Remember that, okay? If the reality ends up being more than you bargained for, I’m not going to have a single hard feeling toward you. I’ll walk away grateful for the time we had, and I’ll wish you every happiness in life. I mean that.”
“I know you do,” she said thickly. But it wasn’t going to happen. If one of them walked away, it wouldn’t be her.
His smile was forced. “We don’t need to dwell on that now. I thought you said you were going to change the subject a while ago.”
She took a sip of lemonade and tried to oblige. “Right. So. Moving on. How was work today?”
This time his smile reac
hed his eyes. “It was all good, and forty-five minutes of it was incredible. I’ll let you guess what part that was.”
Izzy couldn’t hold back her smile. “When you were watching the PT session?”
“When I was watching you during the PT session.” He had finished eating and he rocked back in his chair, like he so often did, his hands linked behind his head. The pose stretched his tee shirt tight across his chest, and his impressive biceps bulged, right in her line of vision. “You love what you do, Izzy, that’s obvious, and you do it so well. It was a pleasure to watch you. I wanted to stay there the rest of the day, but I was afraid Molly would send out a search team. I left inspired, though. And proud.”
She straightened in her chair and unconsciously pressed her hand to her heart. “Aww, Tanner.”
“I mean it,” he said softly. “The retreat center is lucky to have you.”
“It goes both ways. It’s a wonderful place to work.” She took another drink and decided to open up a little more. “Hearing you say that gives my confidence a boost, which I need. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m taking over as head of the department soon, and I admit I’m pretty nervous about it.”
His eyes were warm and proud. “I’m not nervous for you at all. You’ll do great.”
Izzy smiled at him. “For that, you get the rest of the cherry cobbler.” She stood and stacked their plates, carrying them to the kitchen where she filled a bowl with dessert, topped it with ice cream, and carried it over to the back door.
“Let’s forget the dishes for now and enjoy the beautiful evening. You can eat this while the sun goes down.”
He followed as she went down the deck steps and crossed the small patch of grass to sit on the edge of the hammock. She held up the bowl, inviting him to join her. He gingerly lowered his big body beside her.
“If we flip and spill this dessert, I’m going to be really mad,” he warned.
“We won’t flip. I mastered this baby a long time ago.”
“You spend a lot of time out here?”
