He propped himself on one arm and gazed sleepily down on her. “I love you,” he murmured.
Shock rippled through her, and Nina stared at his neatly shaved jaw with incomprehension. Maybe that was something he said to all his women.—except, he hadn’t said it before. She met his eyes, but his gaze didn’t waver. It held her pinned as he challenged her to respond.
Gulping, Nina cautiously stroked his cheek. “You don’t have to say that for my benefit.”
“Yeah, I do.” JD pulled her shirt closed and smoothed it tenderly over her breasts before looking at her again. “I don’t think I’ve ever said it to anyone before, so it’s kind of hard to get out, you know?”
The cold sensation of parting as JD sat up was nothing compared to the revelation of his words. Hastily brushing her skirt down, Nina struggled to sit up beside him. JD reached over and planted her firmly in his lap again. He hugged her close, and she rested her head against his shoulder. She liked resting her head against his shoulder. It seemed so right somehow, secure, as she had never known security.
“Yeah, I know,” she replied in the same vernacular. Switching to her softer Southern dialect, she attempted to clarify. “You have to hear the words often to say them with ease. Maybe we should practice on each other. I love you, too. I don’t have any idea why, but I do.”
She felt JD’s chuckle as much as heard it.
“I don’t know why you do either. I’m pigheaded, blind, and stupid. I have no concept of what it takes to make a marriage. I barely have any idea what love is, but if it’s this need to have you with me all the time, then I’ve got it bad. I’ve spent these last weeks worrying about you instead of worrying about the damned company. Every time I called up a financial statement, I thought of you curled up in that apartment, lecturing me on risk. When I learned I had control of Astro, instead of reaching for the champagne, I reached for the phone to call you. You weren’t there,” he said accusingly.
“I’ve been busy,” she answered defensively. “All that money you solicited had to be spent somewhere. I have bulldozers and tractors and construction workers all over the place.”
“Yeah, I know.” JD reached inside her unbuttoned shirt and cupped her breast in his palm. “I’ve just been out there. It looks pretty good.”
Nina sat up so fast she almost clipped his chin. She jerked her shirt closed over his protesting fingers. “What do you mean, you were just out there? You were out there and didn’t see me?”
He shrugged almost sheepishly. “I went there to see you, but you were here. Must have been some kind of mental vibrations crossing.”
Nina stared at him in astonishment. “You went all the way out there when you’re busy taking over another company and producing a new program and looking after Jackie? Couldn’t you have just sent a letter?”
He wrinkled his brow in thought, staring at the ceiling. “Can’t remember the last time I sent a letter. Could have been back in the service, when I wrote Nancy. Didn’t have much luck then.” He brought his dark gaze back down to her, and Nina shivered with the intensity of it. “Couldn’t take that risk again. I’m eliminating risks in my life, Miss Toon. You see here before you a reformed impulse addict. I will proceed cautiously from now on. Will you marry me?”
In shock, Nina hesitated.
JD gave her a mischievous grin. “We didn’t use any protection just then. You may have to marry me, Miss Toon.”
Blood rushed to Nina’s cheeks at the thought of carrying his child. She knew better than to think it possible after just one try, but she wouldn’t put anything past JD. “I thought you were forgoing all risk, Mr. Marshall,” she replied, too shaken to remember she had come here intending to make him marry her. “That seems like a rather immense risk to me.”
“Nah.” He shook his head and hugged her tenderly. “I know you too well. If I got you pregnant, you’d be here with a gun at my head and a knife to my throat demanding I do the right thing by our child. And then I’d have you right where I wanted you. So I didn’t take any risks. You did.”
So she had. She’d taken a huge risk. Stupid of her. But she’d had everything to gain and nothing to lose. Hattie had been wrong. Sometimes, one had to risk everything to gain anything.
Nina relaxed against JD’s shoulder again. “This is ridiculous, you realize. We live two thousand miles apart. We might as well live on different planets. It will never work.”
JD nuzzled her neck. “Of course it will work. I don’t hum. Can’t carry a tune.”
Nina wondered if she’d heard properly. Or if they’d both gone mad. She glared at him. “You don’t hum?”
He nipped her nape and slid a finger beneath her shirt, teasing a nipple. “If you don’t hear me humming, then the relationship must be working. Isn’t that how you tell when things are going to break down?”
Nina stared up at his grin in disbelief. “You’re insane, you know that, don’t you? People don’t...” But of course, people hummed all the time. The smirk on JD’s face told her that.
“See? I told you. Besides, anything that breaks, I can fix. Did you know your mother threatened to cut off my balls if I didn’t take care of you?”
She’d believe almost anything at this point. Shaking her head and burying her face against his shoulder as his teasing finger made mush of her mind, she sought some sense in his words. “Why would she do that?” she asked warily. “She’s never shown any concern for me before.”
JD’s voice lost some of its teasing quality. “Are you sure about that? We had a bit of a talk while I was booking my flight. She threw the prison thing in my face to see if she could run me off.” He tilted Nina’s chin up with his finger. “I think she protected you in the only way she knew how, by letting you think her dead and with the angels. She never knew a whole lot about love, Nina. Just think how old Hattie must have been when your mother was born. Helen didn’t know you’d miss what she’d never had. She just did what she had to do and suffered for it, alone.”
His words pierced her heart. Nina blinked back tears as she absorbed this new aspect of her mother. She hadn’t really allowed herself to think about it, it hurt so much, but JD’s version eased the pain.
“Nina, will you marry me?” he asked softly.
The question jerked her back to the moment. It was too much, too fast. She wanted to scream, “Yes, yes, of course!” but the habits of a lifetime were hard to break. “I don’t know anything about being a corporate executive’s wife,” she warned. “You don’t know anything about living in the middle of nowhere. I signed a teaching contract for this next year. I can’t renege on it at this late date. Your company needs you at a time like this, or you risk losing everything. And there’s Jackie. He needs your attention, too.” Looking at the immensity of their problems, Nina groaned. She’d been an idiot to think just making him admit they belonged together would solve everything.
JD stroked her hair and ran his finger down her chin. “I told you, I’ve quit taking risks. I’m a family man now, and I have to think of my family first. I know you won’t like it here, and you can’t give up all your responsibilities back home. But I can live anywhere. I have lived everywhere. Now, I just want a home and a family. Madrid is perfectly fine with me, but I’m hoping maybe you’ll like my other idea a little better.”
As the realization sank in that JD really meant it, really thought of her as family, Nina basked in a warm glow. She tried not to look at him too adoringly, but she didn’t think she could disguise her love very well. It would go straight to his fat head. She’d best keep things in perspective.
“What idea?” she asked with suspicion, but the way he grinned back told her he wasn’t fooled. How the devil would she live with someone who knew her too well?
“I’ve been busy. I talked to your lawyer as well as to Helen. I know you officially own the garden now. So I called a few Realtors out your way. I had time before the plane left Nashville to stop and look at a few places they suggested. There’s a place way out
in the country near the state line that I thought you might like. It’s modern, I’ll admit, but they’ve buried all the cables underground so all you’ll see is trees from the windows. It’s about halfway between Madrid and Nashville. I know you’re not used to commuting to work, so maybe when the weather is bad we can stay at your farm so you don’t have to drive far. I thought you might like a place of your own, so your mother could stay at Hattie’s.”
Now she knew why she loved this man so much. JD was so incredibly intelligent, he took her breath away. Staring at him now, Nina couldn’t believe he was saying these things. There had to be flaws in the design, but she was too flabbergasted to see them. “What about your company?” she finally asked, too stunned to know what she was asking but understanding it was of importance.
JD pressed a kiss against the corner of her lips. “You’re supposed to ask all about the house and ask when we’re getting married and seduce me some more. Why am I not surprised that you ask about me first?”
Nina shook her head and smiled at his reaction. He really wasn’t used to having anyone think of him first. She could change that. She might make a lousy housekeeper and cook, but she could make him happy. “Just answer the question, JD,” she said boldly, knowing he wouldn’t complain of her sharpness.
He didn’t. He kissed her again, making her head spin. Then he answered.
“Astra’s distribution headquarters are in Nashville. It’s a central location, making it easier for the sales force to keep in contact. I’m leaving Jimmy in charge of Marshall Enterprises while I move in and look over Astro’s operations. Ultimately, I’ll have to hire someone more experienced in operations management so I can get back to R&D, but one of us has to stay on top of things. I volunteered. Jimmy thought he’d fallen off the planet when he was out there.”
Nina giggled and relaxed again. Jimmy would definitely have been out of place in Kentucky or Tennessee. JD wouldn’t. He’d adapted with commendable equilibrium from the moment he’d set foot in her house. Another reason she dearly loved this man.
“What about children?” She pushed him deliberately, probing for the flaw in this bubble of happiness.
“I have a son. We’ll have to do some juggling with Jackie’s summer and holiday schedules, but I don’t need more kids if you don’t want any. But if you should feel so inclined, I’d kind of like watching a kid grow up. Maybe by now I’ve learned a thing or two I could pass on.”
JD hugged her gently, and his finger traced a tempting path over her bare breast. Nina couldn’t believe she had it all, everything she’d ever dreamed of and never thought to have. She knew better than to believe it would be perfect. JD was an impossible man who would forget she existed when he was busy with one of his projects. He wouldn’t come home and he would forget to call and tell her why. He would yell at the kids and lose his patience. But he would never lift a hand to them. He would cry when they cried.
And he understood what she hadn’t understood until now. She needed a home of her own, one that wasn’t Hattie’s or her mother’s or anyone else’s, one she could call her own. Maybe then she could get to know Helen a little better. Maybe, someday in the distant future, they’d have a real family, with a grandmother and children and a father for Jackie. Two fathers, if Jimmy toed the line with Nancy. And despite all their differences, they would be whole again.
Leaning back in JD’s arms, Nina slid her hand beneath his shirt and reveled in his intake of breath as she plucked a sensitive spot. “My teaching contract is up in nine months,” she reminded him sweetly.
It took him a second. He looked a little dazed at first. But JD always made nice recoveries.
This time, he carried her to the bedroom and did it properly.
The chocolate ice cream dripped and puddled on the floor long before anyone remembered its existence.
About The Author
With several million books in print and New York Times and USA Today's bestseller lists under her belt, former CPA Patricia Rice is one of romance's hottest authors. Her emotionally-charged contemporary and historical romances have won numerous awards, including the RT Book Reviews Reviewers Choice and Career Achievement Awards. Her books have been honored as Romance Writers of America RITA® finalists in the historical, regency and contemporary categories.
A firm believer in happily-ever-after, Patricia Rice is married to her high school sweetheart and has two children. A native of Kentucky and New York, a past resident of North Carolina, she currently resides in St. Louis, Missouri, and now does accounting only for herself. She is a member of Romance Writers of America, the Authors Guild, and Novelists, Inc.
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BLUE CLOUDS
by Patricia Rice
This edition published by
Book View Cafe 2012
© 1998 – Patricia Rice
Originally published 1998 by Ivy Books,
The Ballantine Publishing Group
Blue Clouds (Sample)
by Patricia Rice
“Believe me, Phillippa, this hurts me as much as you.”
Pippa heard Abigail’s voice through a fog of disbelief. She recognized her supervisor’s compassionate expression, but the words weren’t sinking in.
“I fought against it every step of the way,” Abigail continued. “You’re a good worker; we have no complaints at all. We’ll give you excellent references, call other hospitals in the chain if you wish to relocate, anything you ask. It’s just that we’re downsizing like everyone else in the business today, keeping our margins intact, and the administrative staff is the first to go. We can’t cut back on essential care.”
The words pounded against Pippa’s skull. Any time someone said it hurt them as much as it hurt her, she knew they lied. Nothing would ever hurt as much as the blows that always followed. She just couldn’t believe the blows came from this direction. She’d worked at the hospital for ten years. It had been her mainstay through her mother’s illness. Her friends were here. Her family. The support network she needed for survival. How could they strip away her life and call it something so inexplicable as “downsizing”?
Especially now. They knew how her life had fallen apart this past year. How could they take away the one certainty she possessed? She had awards hanging on her office wall. She had letters of appreciation. Even those grim vultures in the administrative offices smiled at her when they passed her in the halls. She felt accepted here, wanted, needed. Her job was all she had left.
Abigail fell silent and awaited Pippa’s response. What could she say? Quaking inside, Pippa stood up. To her horror, tears burned her eyes. She wouldn’t go out weeping and wailing. She wouldn’t. Her mother had taught her to keep a stiff upper lip. Chin up. Persevere. Don’t let anyone get you down.
She wanted to throw up.
Scraping the chair back, she avoided Abigail’s gaze as she nodded and mumbled something about finishing the Carlson case, then turned to make her escape.
“Pippa, I’m sorry.” Abigail sounded as shaken as Pippa felt. “I know you’ve just lost your mother. If there had been any other way...”
Pippa waved a careless hand, keeping her face averted. “I’ve needed to get away anyway. I’ll see you later.”
Practically running, she fled the room. Despite all her efforts to contain them, tears streamed down her face, and she hurried into the closest ladies’ room, the public one where the staff wouldn’t go. She didn’t want anyone seeing her like this, not Pollyanna Pippa. She’d always had an uplifting phrase, a word of encouragement when things looked blackest. She’d always managed a smile no matter how much the stress piled up. People relied on her when the going got tough.
She locked the stall door, yanked off a length
of toilet paper, and rubbed at the tears, cursing the fact that her purse and Kleenex were back at her desk. Panic welled inside her; she wished she could think straight, but she could only wipe at her running nose. She had to get control, her mother would say. But her mother was dead.
That returned the tears in cascades. She hadn’t cried like this since the doctor first diagnosed her mother’s inoperable cancer.
She hadn’t cried like this at the funeral. After that initial burst of tears over the shock of the diagnosis, she’d cheerfully made her mother’s last years as peaceful as could be. She’d rejoiced that she’d worked at a hospital where she could learn the names of all the top physicians, knew the very best, most modern treatments. Her mother had lived comfortably for years, and Pippa had thrived on knowing she had helped.
Her brother, Mitchell, hadn’t been able to contribute much. He lived too far away and had a family to support. He’d flown in occasionally for a weekend, but he really didn’t have the resources to do that often, or to help financially. And her sister, Barbara, was the same. She’d called frequently, sent cards, and wished she could get away to help, but she had small children at home. They’d both married and moved away to big cities long ago, leaving Pippa, the youngest, at home. Pippa hadn’t complained. She’d only felt grateful that she hadn’t been otherwise attached when the doctor diagnosed the cancer. Mitchell and Barbara had been grateful to her. She’d felt needed, important, a part of everyone’s lives.
Then her mother had died.
Now, she had no one who needed her, nothing to go home for. Mitchell and Barbara had their spouses and children and in-laws. They didn’t need Pippa’s help. She had denied the emptiness, the pain of loss, for months, and now that Abigail had ripped her open, she couldn’t stop crying. She sobbed at the nothingness her life had become as much as for the loss of her mother.
She was thirty years old, with no job, no family, and no future. She was a useless piece of furniture ready for the garage sale. She didn’t understand it. She’d done everything right, done everything she was supposed to do. She’d been a dutiful daughter, a hardworking employee, a good, church-going, responsible citizen. What had gone wrong?
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