Without thinking it through, I hopped on the next plane out of O’Hare and flew straight to Washington D.C. I had a ton of angry messages from Dean once I’d landed, but I ignored all of them with every intention to have the conversation we should’ve had months ago in person.
After telling Dean to breathe for ten minutes, he finally calms down, allowing me to brush my fingers on his arm.
He places his hands on my shoulders and stares into my eyes, holding me in place. “Why, Kitten? Why would you hide this from me?”
“I didn’t want to ruin your life. Things were already hard enough for you and your mom. A baby is another complication you don’t need to deal with.”
“You’re talking about my child. Our child. I would never look at him as something I need to deal with. I am not my father.”
“I know that, Dean.” I let out a puff of air. “That’s not what I meant. It came out wrong. See, this is why I wanted to have this conversation in person.”
“Why did you wait this long? How many months along are you?”
I get up from the floor and take a seat next to Dean on the couch. “Over seven months.”
His face twists in anger. “You’ve known for seven months and didn’t think to tell me sooner? I have to find out when your asshole brother is throwing punches at me.”
“He shouldn’t have done that. I am so sorry.”
“You’re right. If you had told me months ago, that fight wouldn’t have happened at all.”
“Duke will get suspended for it.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
She shrugs. “No, but I thought it would help.”
“He attacked me with brutal force and knocked out a linesman. He’ll be lucky if he’s off suspension by the end of the season.”
“Yeah, I know. My dad is pissed. You should have seen him on TV trying to report what happened between you and Duke. He even apologized on air to you and the league for Duke’s behavior.”
“It’s not your dad’s fault that Duke is an asshole.”
“He has anger issues.” I rub Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry he took them out on you.”
“Why are you here, Kat?” Dean sits back and rests his head on the cushion, staring up at the ceiling. “Duke already ruined your secret.”
It kills me that Dean can’t even look at me. I thread my fingers between his and hold his hand in mine. “Dean, please just listen to me for a minute. There’s nothing I can do or say that will make this situation better, but we can work on moving forward. Whether we like it or not, we are having a baby in two months. He will be here in no time. I didn’t want to burden you with all of this during your first year in the league.”
“That’s a shitty reason to keep this from me. I had the right to know about my son.”
“I know. I don’t know how many ways I can apologize. Not telling you will always big my biggest regret.”
“You know how I grew up, Kat. My dad was never around. I haven’t seen him in so many years that I can’t even remember what he looks like anymore. He left my mom with a mound of bills to pay and a kid. So, why would you ever think that I would do that to you? I want to be part of my son’s life.”
“Of course.” I curl up next to Dean and stroke his bruised cheek with my fingers. “I want you to be part of his life. We can make this work.”
“You’re moving to Philly,” he says, lifting his head from the couch. He winces in pain as he turns to face me. “I don’t even want to hear another word about your internship. You can get another one.”
“But…” Deflated, I don’t even bother to argue.
“No buts, Kitten. You are coming to live with me. Our child will have a mother and a father.”
“What about us?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “What about us?”
“Do you hate me?” I bite my bottom lip, waiting for him to answer, as a beat passes between us.
“No, I could never hate you. I’m mad at you. I need you to give me some time and space to process everything.”
“Are we breaking up?”
“Were we ever together?”
“Just because you’re pissed doesn’t mean you have to act like a dick.”
He shakes me off him and gets up from the couch. “You should go back to Chicago and pack your bags.”
“But I had plans for us. I wanted to take you someplace special for your birthday.”
“What’s the point, Kat? I’m not in the celebratory mood. My face looks like I went twelve rounds with Holyfield, and I can’t even look at you without clenching my jaw, which is only making the pain even worse.”
“Oww,” I say, getting up from the couch, clutching my stomach.
Dean comes to my side and grabs my arm. “Are you okay, Kitten?”
I take his hand and move it onto my stomach, staring up at Dean. “Your baby is kicking me. I think he’s going to be a hockey player. He’s aggressive, just like his daddy.”
For the first time since I walked into the hotel room, Dean smiles at me. He bends down in front of me, holding onto my hips, and presses his cheek to my stomach. Startled, he backs up when Noah kicks again.
“Hey, Little Man,” he whispers to our son. “I’m your daddy.”
I stroke my fingers through Dean’s damp hair. He’s still wearing a towel from his shower, which has been slightly distracting me for most of our conversation. It has been too long since we were last together.
“You’re going to be an amazing father, Dean.”
He peeks up at me. “You think so?”
I nod. “I know so. Our son is lucky to have you as his dad.”
“Noah. Is that what you want to name him?”
“I like that name.”
He smiles. “Me, too. Noah Crawford. Wait until I tell my mom about her grandson. He might get her to move away from Florida.”
“She could be our babysitter. I will need help with him when you’re on the road.”
He stands, still holding onto my hips, and plants a kiss on my cheek. “We will make it work.”
“Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?”
“No, I’m still angry with you.” He tilts his head to the side and scratches the dark stubble along his jaw, as if deep in thought. “If you’re seven months pregnant, then you knew before we left college, didn’t you?”
Feeling guilty, I turn my head to the side and bite my lip. “Yes.”
“When did you find out?” He clamps his hands on my shoulders. “Please don’t lie to me again.”
“I knew when I went for the gluten allergy results.”
He takes a step back from me, and his mouth opens wide. “You cried in my arms and lied to my face? Do you even have a gluten allergy?”
“No, I never had one. I kept getting sick because I was pregnant with Noah.”
“You could have told me that day, and you chose to wait until now?” Dean walks away from me and toward the bedroom.
“I already said I was sorry, Dean. What do you want me to do? There’s nothing I can say or do to make this better.”
“You’re right. No apology in the world can make up for all the secrets you kept from me. You lied right to my fucking face, Kat. You had an entire week over the summer with me. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was scared,” I manage to choke out. “I didn’t want to worry you until I knew for sure I was having the baby.”
He narrows his eyes at me, giving me a look of disgust. “You were thinking of giving up our son without telling me?”
“No, of course not.” As the tears stream down my face, I wipe them away with my hand. “I wanted to make sure he was healthy and that nothing would happen to him before I told you. I thought I should be sure before I said anything to anyone.”
“Still, you could have told me. There’s no reason for lying to me.”
“Technically, I never lied about being pregnant.”
“No, you lied about your fake gluten
allergy. That’s so much better,” Dean deadpans, rolling his eyes at me. “We never had any secrets before. I tried to tell you before we hooked up that it would ruin our friendship, and you still wanted to go through with it.”
“What are you saying? That you regret being with me.”
He sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe. We should have stayed friends.”
I touch his arm. “We are friends, Dean.”
“No, we’re not. Our situation is too complicated to go back to being friends.”
“So, where does that leave us?”
He shrugs. “We’re the parents of a baby boy.”
“What about us?”
“I can’t even trust you, Kat.”
“Yes, you can. I am still the same person.”
“The old Kat would never lie to me. You told me everything. We had no secrets. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Things will get better for us after I move in with you,” I say, hopeful.
“Maybe. We’ll see how it goes. My priority is Noah and your health.”
“Mine, too.”
“At least we’re on the same page.” He grabs a pillow from the bed and walks past me. “You can have the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Are you going to sleep in a towel?”
He strips the towel from his waist and throws it in my direction. It lands on the floor at my feet. I suck in a deep breath when I take in the sight of his muscular body.
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
He smirks at me. “Night, Kat.”
“Night,” I mutter, too focused on his toned ass as he walks away from me.
That fucker did that just to remind me of what I am missing. No matter what I have to do, we will be together again. Dean will see the person he loves. He needs time. We both do.
Chapter 22
Seven months after the NHL Draft
Dean
On my birthday, Kat moved into my luxury apartment that overlooks the Camden Waterfront. The transition was not easy for either of us. Even after two months of living together, our relationship is still so strained that we move past each other like strangers in the subway. But we try to make it work for our son. Every time I get angry with Kat, I pull the sonogram from my wallet and remind myself that Noah is my focus.
“Will you at least look at me when I talk to you?” Kat says from behind me.
I turn around to face her, my eyes landing on her stomach. Her belly is hard to miss now that she’s so close to having Noah. She only has a few more days until the doctor induces her.
“Dean, c’mon.” Kat steps forward and grabs my wrists with her hands. “Can we please go back to the way things were between us?”
“We’re friends. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“By now, I thought we would be more. I love you, Dean.”
“I love you, too, Kitten.”
“I mean I’m in love with you. I want to be with you again.”
I shake my hands from hers and hop up onto the kitchen counter. “I need time. I told you that already. We can’t repair the damage overnight.”
“You’ve had months.” She moves between my legs and her stomach brushes against my thighs. “Is that not enough to see that I’m still the same person you fell in love with?”
I stroke her jaw with my thumb, and she leans her face into my hand. “You are the mother of my child, Kitten. No one can take that away from you. But if you want more from me, I need time.”
She lets out the puff of air that she was holding. “Maybe I should move back to Chicago after Noah is born.”
I drop my hand from her face, my teeth clenched in anger. “Don’t even think about it. You two are staying here with me. If you want to go back home for the summer, then I will come with you. Until then, we are living in this apartment as a family.”
“I never thought you could be so cold,” she spits back.
“And I never thought you would lie to me. Consider us even.”
“I hate you,” she yells, smacking me on the arm. “You’re such an asshole anymore.”
I grab her hand before she can smack me again and hold her in place. “As much as you want to hate me, I know you love me. It’s your hormones talking.”
She shakes her head, frowning. “No, I can’t do this with you anymore. I thought I was moving here to give our son a better life. What kind of life will he have if all his parents do is fight? All this negativity is bad for Noah.”
“Look, Kitten, I’m sorry. I am trying to do right by you and Noah. I want this to work for us.”
“Then, why won’t you touch me?”
“I’m touching you right now.”
“You know what I mean. Sex, Dean, I want to have sex with you. I’m so fucking horny, and you keep walking around the apartment naked all the time.”
I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “I thought you liked Dirty Dean.”
She laughs, and her smile reaches up to her bright blue eyes. “Only when I get to play with him.”
“Is that what you want?” I release her hands to fumble with my belt. “A hate fuck from me.”
“You don’t hate me,” she coos, stopping me from removing my belt.
“Maybe not, but I’m still angry. And I don’t want to hurt Noah.”
“You can’t hurt him, you idiot.” She rolls her eyes at me.
“Whatever. Wait until after Noah is born, and then, we’ll see how things go. Okay?”
Kat tugs at the buckle and flips open the top button on my jeans. “Let me take care of you, Dean. It doesn’t have to be this way. I can make you feel better.”
“Don’t.” I cover her hand with mine.
“Why not? When was the last time you had sex?”
“With you. Back in the summer at your house.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Really? You haven’t slept with anyone else.”
“Why does that surprise you? If anyone would know that I’m not the sleazeball everyone thinks, it should be you. Isn’t that why you wanted me to fuck you without a condom in the first place?”
“You don’t have to be so crass.”
“That’s what we did.” I dip down to brush my lips against the shell of her ear. “You wanted me to fuck your tight pussy. You wanted me to know how good you feel so that I would fall in love with you. Wasn’t that part of your plan, Kitten?”
“Dean,” she whispers, closing her eyes. “Please. Stop tormenting me.”
I move my lips to her neck and plant kisses on her skin. She stills between my legs, sucking in deep breaths that turn to soft moans. “You want me to make you come, Kitten? You want me to reach between your legs and finger the tension from your body?”
“Yes,” she hisses.
I sit back and place my hands on my thighs. “Well, we can’t always get what we want.”
“You dickhead,” she screams. “Stop doing this to me.”
“There you go again, polluting our son with your potty mouth.” I smile at Kat just to taunt her. We play this game so often that I can’t stop myself. She mind fucked me for months. Maybe I’m being an immature asshole for doing it back to her, but part of me feels as though she deserves my hostility.
Our son needs a father. That doesn’t entitle Kat to have a sexual relationship with me. One day, I will give in, because I want her, too. I have to get over my anger before I can forgive her. But I will. I could never stay mad at Kat.
“You have some nerve with all the cursing you do around him.” She turns around so that her back is facing me and bends over to reach into the refrigerator.
I lean forward to smack her firm ass.
She jumps and then turns around with two bottles of water in her hands. “You don’t get to touch my ass if you’re not gonna play with me.”
I slide off the counter, take the bottles from her hands, and set them down behind me. “I kept a secret from you, too,” I confess.
“Seriously? What happened to coming clean wi
th each other?”
“It’s not the kind of secret you kept from me.” Cupping her face in my hands, I gaze into her eyes. “I’ve thought of having sex with you, trust me I have. But I can’t go through with it.”
She gives me a pained look. “Because you’re not attracted to me anymore?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. You are beautiful. I love seeing you pregnant and with my baby inside you. How I feel about you will never change. The attraction has never been an issue for me.”
“Stop being so cryptic, Dean. Why have you been torturing me?”
“Because I think of you differently now.”
She lowers her head and sighs.
“It’s not what you think, though. Every time I as much as think about being inside you, I can’t help but think of Noah.”
Kat peeks up at me, confused. “You make no sense.”
“Okay, don’t laugh at me, but I feel like he’s watching us.”
She laughs. “Now, I know you are insane.”
“That came out wrong. What I meant to say is that having sex with you while Noah is in your belly freaks me out. I thought maybe I could take you up on your offer for that blowjob I have been dying for the past few months. But I still can’t do it.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Dean. You can’t have sex with me because you think Noah can see what we are doing? I highly doubt that.”
“Kinda.” I shrug. “It just feels weird, okay? And I don’t want to do anything to hurt him.”
She presses her stomach into my chest and breathes against my lips. “Can you go through with it after Noah is born?”
My lips crash into hers. After months of fighting my feelings for Kat, I need to connect with her again. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I missed her so fucking much. She grips my hair between her fingers, tugging hard as she pulls me closer to deepen the kiss. Our passion for one another intensifies with each second that passes.
I sink so far beneath her skin that I get lost inside my Kitten, allowing our bodies to do the talking. Until I feel a gush of liquid on my feet. I peel my lips from hers, and Kat raises her hand to her mouth.
More than Friends: (A Friends to Lovers Standalone Romance) Page 14
