Maddie stared at them. “Erik spent the night?”
“It was one night. We camped in the backyard,” Helen corrected. “With the kids.” She frowned at Dana Sue. “You bring that up every time I see you. You need to let it go. Don’t make it into something it wasn’t.”
“Well something helped you get through this afternoon,” Dana Sue said. “Having a man in your life would do that.”
“Maybe it was just having you guys here,” Helen suggested.
“I don’t buy it,” Dana Sue said again.
“Do you want her to be miserable, Dana Sue?” Maddie asked. “If she says she’s okay, we should take her word for it and be happy for her. This was a tough afternoon and she got through it without coming unglued. I’d say that deserves a toast.”
As Maddie lifted her glass, she suddenly winced and sucked in a deep breath.
“What?” Helen said at once, rushing to her side. “Are you okay, Maddie?”
“I’m not sure, but that could have been a contraction,” Maddie admitted.
Helen regarded her with alarm. “How can you not be sure? You’ve had four other kids. Shouldn’t you know a contraction when you’re having one?”
“I’ve had a few twinges off and on for a few hours now,” Maddie said. “I thought it was because I overdid it helping Cal move some things around in the new playroom upstairs.” She took a deep breath, then nodded. “Yes, I’m sure that’s all it was. See, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”
Dana Sue said worriedly, “Maybe we should go to the hospital and let you get checked out, anyway. You shouldn’t be moving furniture this late in your pregnancy. I’m surprised Cal let you.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? He let me carry a few toys across the room. When I tried to move the rocking chair, he went crazy and insisted I sit down in it and just tell him where I wanted everything else.”
“But you’re feeling okay now?” Helen asked. “No more twinges?”
“None,” Maddie said, then groaned and grabbed her stomach. “That was definitely a contraction.” She grinned through her obvious pain. “This little one is obviously full of surprises.”
Helen looked at Dana Sue. “What do we do now?”
“You haul her out of that chair and get her to the car,” Dana Sue said calmly. “I’ll call Cal to meet us at the hospital. If her contractions are that close together, we don’t have a lot of time.”
Helen let Maddie grab on to her shoulders, then half lifted, half tugged her onto her feet. When she was upright, Helen gazed into her eyes. “You are not having this baby in the backseat of my car, understood?”
Maddie gave her a wry look. “Then I suggest we don’t waste a lot of time standing around here chatting. I barely made it to the hospital with Jessica Lynn. Something tells me this one’s going to be even more impatient.”
She took a step, then uttered a curse.
“What?” Helen demanded.
“My water broke,” Maddie said. “We might want to pick up this pace.”
Dana Sue snapped her cell phone closed. “Cal’s on his way to the hospital. Let’s get this show on the road. If he gets there before us, he’s going to have a full-blown panic attack.”
“He warned me not to go out this afternoon,” Maddie said. “He’s going to be furious if this baby is born anywhere other than a delivery room.”
“Can you waddle any faster than that?” Dana Sue inquired, drawing a nasty look from Maddie. “Okay, okay. You’re doing the best you can.”
Five minutes later they had Maddie stretched out on the backseat with Dana Sue riding with her, while Helen drove. Every time Maddie let out a scream, Helen’s hands clenched a little more tightly on the steering wheel and she slammed her foot down a little harder on the accelerator.
They made the half-hour drive to Regional Hospital in record time, but Cal was faster. He was waiting at the emergency room entrance, a frantic expression on his face. An orderly with a wheelchair was waiting with him.
“We need to get your paperwork taken care of,” the orderly said.
“No time,” Maddie said, her teeth clenched. “Delivery room now!”
“But—”
“Do it,” Cal said. “The paperwork can wait.”
“I’ll handle that,” Helen said. “Just go.”
She spent twenty minutes placating an annoyed admissions clerk, then went to find Dana Sue. She’d no sooner found her in the waiting room of the obstetrics unit when Cal came out of the delivery room, looking dazed.
“It’s a boy,” he told them, as if it were news. They’d known that much for months. “He came out howling.”
“Probably objecting to my guacamole,” Dana Sue said.
“Congratulations,” Helen told Cal, her emotions a wild mix of delight, wonder and envy. Could she be right here by this time next year? Perhaps, if she put her mind to it. Could she do it without someone like Cal beside her? Of course, she told herself staunchly. She would have her two best friends at her side. Even Cal and Ronnie would stick by her. Erik, too, more than likely. That would be more than enough. She was sure of it. Sure enough to start planning the next step first thing tomorrow.
Karen stood in the doorway to the kids’ bedroom and stared at them in the moonlight that spilled through the window. Having them home again and knowing that this time it was for good had filled her with so much joy she’d barely reacted when Mack spilled milk all over the kitchen floor and Daisy threw a tantrum because Karen wouldn’t let her have candy before dinner.
In fact, she’d waited in dread for her head to start pounding or her shoulders to tense, which had become so commonplace before they’d gone to stay with Helen, but she’d taken both incidents in stride. She hadn’t even needed to make conscious use of the calming techniques Dr. McDaniels had taught her. She was simply too happy to let anything get to her tonight.
When Daisy and Mack had gone back to Helen’s after the last visit, Karen had redecorated their bedroom. Mack had barely noticed the changes, but Daisy had been thrilled. The bare, merely functional room had been transformed into something special. Its walls were now the same buttery shade as the walls at The Corner Spa. In fact, the paint had come from there. When Dana Sue had heard she wanted to decorate the kids’ bedroom, she’d offered the extra paint they’d stored after their remodeling of the old Victorian house that was now one of the region’s best day spas.
Dana Sue and her husband had even spent an afternoon helping Karen paint. They’d also scouted a couple of secondhand shops and found some furniture, which they’d painted white, and a deep-yellow toy box with red, blue and green polka dots and stripes. With any luck, Mack and Daisy’s toys would wind up inside it at least some of the time, rather than strewn all over the apartment.
Frances had made new curtains for the room from a polka-dotted fabric that coordinated with the toy box. She’d had enough material left over to make matching throw pillows for the beds.
Karen had bought colorful decals, which she’d scattered over the walls. She wanted the cheerful decor to represent their future—bright and new for all of them.
Exiting the bedroom, she found Frances tidying up in the kitchen after their dinner of her homemade mac-and-cheese, fresh peas and one of Erik’s apple cobblers with vanilla ice cream.
“Kids get settled in okay?” Frances asked.
“They’re already sound asleep. I hope you know how much I appreciate all your help with getting their room ready. Daisy loves it and I’m sure Mack does, too.”
“Maybe we should tackle your room next,” Frances suggested. “You’ve spent too long living here as if it’s just a temporary roof over your head. You need to turn it into a real home.”
“In other words, it’s time to make lemonade out of those lemons,” Karen said wryly. “You’re right. I was so busy being resentful about being reduced to living in a tiny, two-bedroom apartment, I never wanted to do a thing to make it nicer. I just wanted out.”
; “Being happy where you are is never a bad thing,” Frances told her. “Nor is it conceding defeat.”
Karen frowned at the comment. “Meaning?”
“I think you’ve been afraid if you did anything to turn this place into a home, it meant you were accepting the raw deal fate handed you when your husband left. It meant you were giving in, or maybe giving up. You can still have ambitions, sweetie, but this is reality for now. Make the most of it.”
“I think I get that finally,” Karen said. “I just hope my kids haven’t paid too high a price.”
“Mack and Daisy are fine. Living with Helen was a grand adventure for them, but they belong here with you. Didn’t you notice how excited they were when they got here this afternoon? Best of all, you’re strong again and ready to handle whatever’s next in your life.”
“You think so?” she asked. “You really think so?”
“I know so. I saw it tonight at dinner. When Mack dumped that milk on the floor, you didn’t bat an eye. And I don’t know if you noticed, but there was relief in Daisy’s eyes when you just mopped it up without a word.”
Karen sighed. “She heard me lose it way too much, didn’t she?”
“Probably so, but you can’t fix the past. You can only do things differently from here on out. Any idea what you’d like your future to hold?”
“I’ll be happy just to keep things on an even keel for now,” Karen told her. “I need to remember how to be a good mom.”
Frances frowned. “I suppose that’s fine for now,” she agreed. “But you need dreams, Karen. You need goals for yourself. You deserve to find happiness, too.”
“If my kids are okay, I’m happy,” she insisted.
“I’ll accept that for the moment,” Frances said. “But you need to give some thought to your future. Promise me you’ll do that.”
“I promise,” Karen said, giving her a hug.
“Okay, then,” Frances said, evidently satisfied. “Now let me leave, so you can get a good night’s sleep. If you need anything at all tomorrow, you let me know. Don’t be afraid to lean on people, Karen. That’s what got you into trouble before. You were trying to handle everything on your own.”
Karen gave Frances another fierce hug. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Frances beamed at her. “Then isn’t it wonderful that you’ll never have to find out?”
“I love you.”
Frances brushed a lock of hair back from her face. “And you’re like one of my own, Karen. Good night, sweetie.”
“Good night,” Karen said softly, tears stinging her eyes.
Right this second, her life seemed to be close to perfect, but it was good to know that the next time it started to fall apart, there was someone she could count on right across the hall. For so many years she’d wondered how different her life would have been if she’d ever had a real mom, a real home she could count on. Now, in so many ways, she’d found the answer to that.
Maddie had been home from the hospital for two weeks and Helen had stopped by to visit every single night. Holding baby Cole Maddox in her arms was solidifying the epiphany she’d had the day Maddie talked about the warm safe place her baby had in her body.
And just now she’d finally admitted to Maddie that she’d come to a decision. She wanted to get pregnant and have a child, no matter what anyone in Serenity thought of her for doing it. She could weather the gossip, and if she gave her child a loving home and surrounded him or her with a huge extended family, surely the child would never feel shortchanged.
Maddie searched Helen’s face. “You’re sure about this? You’ve actually decided you want to have a baby the old-fashioned way? I thought having Karen’s kids underfoot might have scared you off.”
“I thought so, too, at least those first few days, but it got better. I was good at the whole mom thing, better than I’d anticipated.” She looked Maddie squarely in the eye and added passionately, “That yearning for something I’ve been feeling all these months turned into something fiercely maternal. This is right. I know it is.”
“But, sweetie, there’s a huge difference between playing mom when there’s an end in sight and being in it for the long haul,” Maddie cautioned.
“I know that,” Helen said impatiently. “I’ve heard it often enough lately. But I’m ready to take it on. I want to take it on.”
“And marriage? Do you see a dad in this picture?” Maddie asked.
“Honestly, I can’t visualize that,” Helen admitted. “I’m forty-two. If I haven’t met someone in all this time I’d be willing to marry, why on earth would I think I can do it in the next few months or even in the next year?”
“Yes, it would put a courtship on a fast track,” Maddie agreed, looking amused. “That shouldn’t be a problem for a single-minded woman like you.”
“Unfortunately, men tend to be more skittish when it comes to something like this, particularly if I were to mention on the first date that my biological clock is ticking so loudly it can be heard in Georgia.”
“That might put them off.” Maddie’s grin spread.
“So what do I do?”
“Isn’t there any man you’re attracted to who might make a good husband, a good father?” Maddie asked. “You’re not exactly known for giving men much time to make a good impression, but maybe now’s the time to run down that list and give a few of those suitors you’ve dismissed another chance.” She gave her a sly glance. “And then there’s Erik. Dana Sue’s convinced there’s something brewing between the two of you.”
At the reminder, the all-too-recent memory of a sizzling kiss surfaced in Helen’s mind like a beacon in the darkness. Maybe she didn’t have to find a man to marry her. Maybe she didn’t need to find someone interested in becoming a full-time father. She had a career. She had resources. She was perfectly capable of raising a child entirely on her own. So maybe what she really needed was a man willing to sleep with her, no strings attached. Erik certainly seemed to qualify.
There was no question that he was attracted to her, and vice versa. Nor was there any question that he was even remotely interested in being married or in being a dad. He’d been abundantly clear about that, as well. He was the perfect candidate. He was someone she liked and respected, someone for whom she had feelings. Thus the whole experience wouldn’t feel quite so calculated and impersonal. She would honestly be able to tell her child one day that his or her dad was a decent, good man and that she had deep, loving feelings for him.
If need be, once she was pregnant, she could draw up whatever legal papers were necessary to assure Erik that she would never ask for child support, that his role in the child’s life could be as limited as he wanted it to be. If he wanted no involvement whatsoever, so be it. She couldn’t help thinking that would be a loss for him and his child, but he’d been so adamant about not wanting to be a dad that she assumed that would be his response.
In essence that would make him a sperm donor, albeit in a more direct and tantalizing way, but she honestly couldn’t see a downside to it. Erik would get great sex for a while, which was all he apparently wanted from a relationship. She’d get a baby. Wasn’t that equitable?
“What on earth is going on in that head of yours?” Maddie asked after several minutes. “Was it what I said about Erik?”
“No, absolutely not,” Helen insisted, praying she could keep Maddie from making that leap. She forced a smile. “But I may have a plan, after all.”
“Really? What is it?” Maddie asked, looking far more worried than relieved.
“It’s probably best if you don’t know,” she told her. And it would definitely be best if Dana Sue didn’t know. She might get all weird at the idea of Helen using Erik to get the baby she wanted.
Heck, there was a possibility Erik might get a little weird about it himself. What if she suggested it and he shot her down? What if she just seduced him and told him later? She wasn’t crazy about what such a deception said about her. And it would pr
obably confirm every negative thing Erik had ever thought about her, destroying the easy camaraderie they’d discovered lately. That dismayed her a little more than she cared to admit, but this driving need to have a child of her own outweighed any dismay.
And she would make absolutely certain that a child of hers had everything he or she could ever possibly need—love, a good education, a wonderful home. Those were the only things that really mattered.
What about a father? a nagging voice in her head demanded. Lots of kids did just fine without a father in their life, she argued with herself. She had. In fact, after seeing how her mom had struggled in one dead-end job after another to give her a decent life after her dad’s death, Helen had been driven to make sure she could always provide for herself and any family that might come along. That determination was what had gotten her into this fix in the first place. She hadn’t allowed herself to be sidetracked by anything that wouldn’t contribute to her financial security and success.
Satisfied with her logic, she stood up abruptly. “I need to be somewhere,” she told Maddie.
“But Dana Sue and Jeanette will be here any minute now,” Maddie said. “We were going to talk about expanding the spa.”
“Apologize for me,” Helen said. “We’ll make up for this next week.”
“But you’re the one who wanted to talk about opening a second spa,” Maddie protested, even as Helen put baby Cole back into her arms. “This meeting was your idea.”
“It can wait,” Helen said. “You, Dana Sue and Jeanette can bounce the idea around and let me know what you think.”
Maddie’s eyes narrowed. “Something tells me you’re about to do something impulsive. That’s never a good thing with you.”
“It’s not impulsive and I don’t need to talk about it. I’ve thought about it from every angle. I’ve probably analyzed it to death.” Okay, not the part about Erik, but maybe it was better not to overthink that. She might start to doubt the wisdom of her plan, and there was no time for doubts.
Feels Like Family Page 17
