by Lisa Gardner
She still couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching her, that if she turned around now, she’d find one pair of eyes a bit too sharp, a bit too knowing.
She didn’t turn around.
Outside, the air was cool and crisp and her nostrils flared, almost offended by the sweetness after the reeking bar. The sky was pitch black, good for midnight doings.
Her stud led her to his truck. No one was around in the parking lot, but she wasn’t worried.
He held open the passenger door for her. She wasn’t sure if that was a positive sign or not. She didn’t ask where they were going, she didn’t contemplate the events at hand. She lit another cigarette and rolled down the window to smoke.
He drove to the middle of nowhere. Had he taken other women there before? Was he married and that’s why they didn’t go to his apartment? She didn’t care. None of it was her business. She was just along for the ride.
“No one comes out here,” he said, looking at her for the first time. “But it’s nice on nights like tonight. You can smell the creosote, look at the stars. Thought you might like it better than some trailer that stinks of beer and socks. I don’t clean much.”
“It’s fine.”
He opened the door. “I have a blanket in the back. Ground’s soft.”
So he’d come here before. A regular lovers’ lane. She watched him in the side mirror. He pulled out a square army blanket and unfolded it on the ground. No iron pipes. No handcuffs. Just a Don Juan after all. She opened her door and stepped out.
The night was chilly, penetrating the haze pressed over her conscience. Then he stepped forward and grabbed her, pushing her against the truck. His mouth swooped down and he stabbed his tongue into her mouth.
The taste hit her hard, the intrusion shattering her apathy until she almost gagged. Then she remembered this was what she was supposed to want. She forced her body to relax. She wound her arms around his neck and tried not to wince as his meaty chest crushed her breast.
He sank to his knees, began to unbutton her jacket.
“Wait,” she said. She didn’t want him to find her gun. “I’ll do it. You take off your shirt.”
His eyes were dark with lust. His thick fingers went instantly to his shirt.
“Turn around,” she told him.
“Why?”
“Because I’m fucking shy. Turn around.”
He shrugged and did as he was told. She stripped off her jacket, then unfastened her shoulder holster and placed it on the ground beneath her jacket.
He turned back around and attacked her, tearing off her silk shell. He pressed his teeth against her neck. He spanned her waist with his hands. He brought his fingers up and kneaded her small breasts as if he could force them to be larger, more voluptuous. She stood still, her hands at her sides.
His hands found her bra clasp and undid it, baring her breasts to the night wind. The briskness made her nipples harden and peak. He took it personally, crowing his satisfaction. Hot and wet, his mouth fastened upon a nipple and sucked voraciously.
She looked down. She watched his head bob up and down at her breast. She heard slurping, grunts and groans. His hips were beginning to rock insistently.
He switched to her other breast, his jaw working furiously.
She shivered. She thought in the back of her mind that the stars were very beautiful and that she was very small beneath them.
His hands fastened on the waistband of her slacks and pulled them down along with her sensible panties. She didn’t protest.
“Man, baby, you are hot,” he said. “A real fucking piece of ass.”
She looked at him blankly, wondering if he was even looking at her body. She was not hot. She had flat breasts and almost no hips. She was too thin and wiry. Roger had often complained that there wasn’t a single soft spot on all of her body. She was muscle and sinew. There were young boys more feminine than her.
The stud pushed off his pants. His dick sprang out, huge and purple, alien and grotesque. At least Roger had been small.
She took a step back. It was too late.
He dragged her down to the blanket, already snuffling between her breasts, his fingers kneading them painfully.
“Baby, baby, baby,” he muttered thickly. “Oh, baby, baby.”
She tried to shut her ears against the sound.
“Kiss me. Come on, darling, don’t be shy. Kiss me. Touch me. Go wild.”
He placed his lips on hers as if he knew she needed the encouragement. Then he grabbed her hand and wrapped it around his dick. She flinched at the feel of it throbbing between her fingers. It was alive. She should want it, she should revel in it. She should cry, Oh, yes, fuck me.
She wanted to run.
He took her head between his hands. “Do you nibble? Come on, don’t be shy. Swallow me whole, baby. You’ll like what I give you.”
Before she could react, he forced her head down. Now his dick was pressing against her cheek, smelling overpoweringly of musk.
“Come on, what are you waiting for?” For the first time, his voice was impatient.
Kiss the willy. Come on, Marion, you know what I want. Be a good girl and open your mouth. Kiss the willy. Kiss Daddy’s willy.
She raised her head and vomited all over his lap.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” He sprang back, batting at her furiously. She fell to the side, still vomiting rancid whiskey. Her shoulders trembled. She hunched her small, naked body over her knees and shut out the world until the black void was complete, the memories pushed back and locked up.
She reached frantically for her clothes.
The stud came after her, angry and enraged. She didn’t think, she wasn’t composed. She fought instinctively, and five moves later he was writhing on the ground without even the breath to curse. Throwing on her clothes, she grabbed his truck keys and told him he’d find his vehicle back at the bar.
Then she climbed in the truck, started the engine, and roared back out onto the long, empty road.
Run, Marion. Run and don’t look back. You don’t want to know what’s behind you. You never wanted to know what was behind you.
TWENTY
J.T. woke up instantly, lying on his back amid the tangled sheets. He stared at the ceiling blankly, blinking his eyes and trying to pinpoint what had woken him.
Then slowly his gaze drifted to the foot of the bed.
She stood there, pale and ethereal once more. Long blond hair tumbled down her back in fat, loose waves. Small hands knotted and unknotted in front of a flowing white nightgown. Her expression tore at him, begging him to save her.
His breath caught in his throat. He told himself again and again that it was only memory: living, breathing memory standing at the foot of his bed. He squeezed his eyes shut, his mind screaming for the demon to go away. He couldn’t save her. He hadn’t saved her. He was nothing.
He opened his eyes.
She was still there.
And he realized for the first time that she wasn’t a child. This wasn’t little Merry Berry, stepping from his mind into his bedroom. This was Marion, grown-up, alive, and real.
His hand lifted from the sheets on its own accord, stretching out to her. “Marion …” His voice cracked.
“I came,” she whispered. “I wanted to see … if I’d ever stood here. If it felt …” Her eyes squeezed shut. “No. It never happened! It never, ever happened!”
She grabbed the skirt of her nightgown and fled.
His hand fell to the sheet in shock. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move. He was suspended someplace between the past and the present and his chest was on fire with pain.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He reached the door in two steps, flung it open, and caught a flash of white as she disappeared into her room. He gave chase. He had to. Just once he had to get this right.
Her door slammed shut forcefully, rocking the still house and locking with a definitive click. J.T. beat against it frantically.
“Marion, let me in! Can’t we talk about this? Christ, Marion. Just once can’t we talk about this?” He pressed his cheek against the wooden door, knowing he was begging and beyond caring.
From the other side of the door he heard a rough, choking sound. She was crying. Cold, perfect Marion was sobbing.
He sank down to the floor.
“Marion,” he called hoarsely. “Marion, Marion. I tried. I tried so hard to save you. God, I tried …”
But there was no reply, just the hoarse sound of his little sister sobbing.
He pressed his cheek against the door. He closed his eyes. Then he banged on the door helplessly with his fist, needing her to let him in, desperate for her to let him in.
Marion, I know I failed you. But I came back. I came back and you’d forgotten everything—all the good moments, as well as the bad—and that failed me. How could we fail each other? How could we serve the colonel like that?
Marion didn’t come to the door, nor did she answer his pleas. So he switched to cursing the colonel instead. Thirty-six years old, he cursed his father and wondered how a grown man could feel such fear.
Minutes passed. Her sobbing stopped and silence took its place, reigning in the dark, shadowed house.
“Marion?”
There was nothing. She’d come. She’d left. He was right back where he started except for the pain devouring his chest, the dark, enraged beast screaming and gnashing in his belly.
“It’s okay.”
He looked up. Tess stood in the gray-filled hallway, her gaze understanding. She took his hand.
“Give her until morning. She isn’t ready to listen to you now.”
“I tried,” he whispered dumbly. Failure, failure, failure. Pussy-whipped mama’s boy.
“I know.” She touched his cheek. “It’s okay. You were just a little boy, J.T. It wasn’t your fault.”
He buried his lips against her hand, squeezing his eyes shut against the unbearable darkness that had lived inside him for so long. He wanted to hate someone; for a moment he even wanted to hate her. But he hadn’t enough energy left inside him. He was wrung out and empty.
He felt her guide him to his feet. She led him to his room and tucked him into bed. He simply lay on his back, staring at the ceiling and going insane with the memories. He wanted a drink. Wouldn’t someone give him a drink?
Push it away, push it away, Rachel whispered in his mind.
But he couldn’t. The memories had been seared into his head and he couldn’t get them out of his mind.
Tess pulled out a chair and sat down.
“I’ll stay. You shouldn’t be alone on a night like tonight. Not with tequila in the house.”
“Stop it,” he muttered. “Go away. Isn’t a psychotic ex-husband enough for you? Can’t you just leave the rest of us alone?”
“I’ve been inside the darkness too, J.T. I know that sometimes the light seems too far away. We all get lost in the dark, and it’s such a scary place. Such a lonely place.”
Her words hurt him, looked inside him, and laid him bare. He was thinking of all those nights, listening to the colonel’s jump boots ring against the floor. With no one to tell, no one who would help him or Marion.
Night after night, lying there, wanting it to stop, needing it to stop. And always facing it alone.
He gave in with a groan. He grabbed Tess by the hand and yanked her into bed. She fell against him easily, already whispering his name.
“I know,” she murmured against his hair. “I know.”
He buried his face against her neck.
“I won’t leave you,” she whispered. “I won’t leave you.”
His hands dug into her back and brought her closer.
Difford was uneasy.
Long after the sun went down, he and Sam ate their macaroni and cheese dinner. They watched Jurassic Park and saw the children survive the monsters. Difford checked out Samantha’s room, but there were no demons beneath the bed or in the closet. He tucked her in, brushing back her hair and retrieving her fancy talking doll that did more things than any doll he’d ever heard of. Tonight she had him read her “Snow White.”
She went to sleep. He prowled the living room and wondered why his nerves were on edge.
The phone rang. He almost jumped out of his skin. He lunged across the living room and caught it before the second ring—he didn’t want it to wake Sam up.
“Lieutenant?”
“Yes.” Difford’s voice was wary. He waited for the security phrase.
“It rains upon the plains in Spain,” the caller said. “Difford, it’s Sergeant Wilcox. Listen closely—”
“I heard you had some kinda stomach bug.”
“No. I had a bad case of Halcion poisoning.”
“What?” Now Difford paid attention.
“We don’t have much time, all right? Some guy calling himself Detective Beaumont showed up yesterday, claimed to be from Bristol County with an urgent message for you. The man spiked my coffee while I was questioning him in the interrogation room.”
“Beckett.”
“Yeah, it was Beckett. He rifled through my notebook, he asked me some questions. Lieutenant, we’re pretty sure he knows where you are and that he has a copy of the house key. We have to get you out of the house now.”
Difford was silent. And then, finally confronted by a danger he could act against, he felt calm. “What is the plan?”
“Okay, the minute you hang up with me, look out your window. Officer Travis is going to get out of the back-up vehicle—he’s a big guy, you can’t miss him. Just drift casually toward the front door, okay. No sudden moves, Beckett might be watching. Why don’t you have a cup of coffee in your hand for the officer. It’ll look like the man is just getting his caffeine fix. The minute he’s in, shut the door. He’ll help you round up Sam. You’ll take the car in your garage—”
“Wait.”
“What?”
Difford felt the first beads of sweat pop up on his brow. “If he, uh, if he has the key to the house, he can get into the garage. I haven’t checked the garage recently. I just hadn’t thought of it. He could be …”
“Shit.” A tense pause. “All right. I’ll tell Officer Travis. Once he’s in the house, he’ll check the garage, you cover him. If all is clear, the three of you exit the garage. Evasive maneuvers, then come straight to HQ. Clear?”
“Clear.”
Difford hung up the phone. He crossed to the window and pulled back the curtains. The hairs on the back of his neck were up. His breathing had gone shallow.
He saw the car light come on across the street as the door opened. He saw a big, heavyset officer climb out of the front seat. Briefly he saw the second man bent over, as if picking something off the floor. The door shut and the light went out. Officer Travis now looked around. Difford saw the man’s hand rest on his un-snapped holster.
“Stay calm,” he murmured to the junior officer. “Remember, you’re just coming for coffee.”
But he could feel the young man’s tension from here. Suddenly, in this quiet neighborhood, it seemed the whole world was watching them.
Officer Travis advanced across the street. Belatedly Difford moved to the kitchen to pour a hasty mug of coffee. His eyes were on the garage door.
Beckett turned off the cellular phone and set it on the floor. He’d spent an hour that morning practicing Sergeant Wilcox’s voice. The effort had paid off.
He turned, his movements a bit awkward in the heavily padded uniform. His “partner” had been reclining in the passenger seat, a blanket pulled up to his neck so it appeared that he was sleeping. Knowing the car light would illuminate his form, Beckett leaned over the dead body, straightened the seat, and slumped the man over. Rigor mortis was beginning to set in, so it wasn’t easy. Then again, Beckett had gotten used to maneuvering dead bodies. The trick was to bend the man at the bullet hole in his waist.
Beckett looked up. Sure enough, Difford stood in the living room window,
waiting for Officer Travis to step out of his car.
“Happy to be of service,” Beckett murmured, and opened the car door.
The knocking echoed through the safe house quietly. Good, Difford thought. Officer Travis was at least thinking of Samantha. Difford approached the door, the steaming coffee clutched in one hand. He had to resist the urge to glance over his shoulder at the garage door.
Keep cool, keep cool.
“Password,” Difford demanded through the dead-bolted door.
“It rains upon the plains in Spain.”
Difford checked out the officer through the peephole. The kid looked young, but then, they all looked young to Difford. He was a big guy who obviously needed to work out more. Christ, how had the Pillsbury Doughboy end up as his back-up? Difford cracked open the door, not amused.
He gave the junior officer another scathing inspection with the chain still on. Difford wasn’t about to act stupid now. The uniform checked out, though the kid had no awards to speak of.
“ID?”
Officer Travis dutifully produced his shield. Fine.
Difford unfastened the chain and held out the coffee mug. “Take it and act calm. Remember, you just came over for a cup of coffee.” His gaze swept the block. The streetlights created puddles of darkness; he’d always hated streetlights. So far, nothing moved.
“All right, come in.”
Officer Travis stepped into the house, looking tense and uncomfortable beneath Difford’s scrutiny. “How long have you been with the force?”
“Two years.”
“Two years and you got this duty?”
“Manpower shortage. The Camarini shooting and this are sucking us dry.”
“Huh. Ever secured a house before?”
“I was part of the Gingham bust. That’s why they signed me up.”
Difford finally relented. The Todd Gingham deal had gone badly. They’d thought they had the nineteen-year-old arms dealer holed up in his house in New Bedford. The neighbors had seen him wielding a handgun and looking high as a kite. A SWAT team had been called in. Shot the hell out of the house. Kid escaped out the back and opened fire on a few squad cars. It had taken six officers and a flying tackle to finally neutralize the threat. So Officer Travis had been in the line of fire. He’d functioned beneath gunpowder, adrenaline, and screaming men.
